She sighed as her hips continued to fidget in anticipation. “I'm all yours. Please take me.” Her back arched as he worked inside her tight channel. And then as she grew accustomed to the pressure, he gave one hard thrust. Natalie cried out as pain overtook the pleasure.
“Nat, that was it.” His voice was tender, soothing. “Relax, let me make it better.” He kissed away her tears.
Natalie tried to do as he said—to relax. She trusted him to do as he promised and make it better. That was what he did. Whether it was her aching legs from kneeling, sore ass after a spanking, or her nipples after the clamps, he made everything better.
In and out, he moved. The pain disappeared as her body came to life.
Grasping the soft sheets as the pleasure built, she called out the name of the only man to have all of her. Dexter Smithers was the only man to give her everything she never knew she wanted. With their bodies now one, they climbed higher and higher until together they shattered, and he filled both her body and her heart to overflowing.
Chapter 20
Just when I think I have learned the way to live,
life changes. ~ Hugh Prather
Natalie's prison cell changed, but not her routine. Dexter's suite was now where she lived. Since the outer sitting room required clothes, he had an entire wardrobe delivered. It seemed unnecessary. There were more clothes than she'd wear in a semester—when she used to go to classes, events, and parties. There were sweaters, coats, and boots, yet she hadn't been outside since she arrived. Her world was limited to Dexter and the occasional staff member. The latter was the reason for clothes.
Dexter no longer delivered her meals, though he was usually present when they arrived. There were multiple household staff who came and went, all speaking German. They always spoke respectfully, addressing her as Frau Natalie. As Dexter's queen, she was the woman of the house. If they questioned why she rarely left the suite, she wasn’t aware of it. Though over time she learned a few words of German, to explain how she'd come to live in this exquisite villa high in the mountains in Austria was impossible. She couldn't even come up with that story in English.
Behind the second door, in the room with the large bed, Dexter's shirts were all she was allowed to wear. The wardrobe he'd purchased included lingerie in all colors, textures, and lengths. Those were worn only upon request and usually meant the night would involve very little sleep. Truthfully, Nat didn't mind; it changed up her routine. And no matter how Dexter would elicit her tears, pleasure was always within reach.
There was another room attached to the master suite that contained exercise equipment. Instead of jogging in place, she now had a treadmill and weight machines. There was always something to keep her busy and her mind focused on him. That didn't mean she didn't think about the life she once had—about her family. She did. There'd been times she hadn't loved her life as the Rawlings princess, but now that it was gone, she had mixed feelings.
Though her calendar was still her menstruation chart, she knew she'd missed so much. December was more than Christmas in the Rawlings household. Their holiday would have included celebrating Nichol's birthday and the anniversary of her parents’ first wedding, as well as Christmas. February was both her father's and brother's birthdays. Her mom liked to plan something special. If her family had celebrated, Natalie missed it.
According to Nat's speculations, spring was near. Their altitude wouldn't allow for the greens of Iowa. Snow still covered the grounds. From the windows of the suite, no other homes could be seen. She literally believed at times she was confined to the snow globe of her first impression.
The suite she shared with Dexter had walls of shelves filled with books, the old kind with paper and spines. It was more than she'd had in what she referred to as her room. Though there was nothing to connect her to life beyond her snow globe, the books became her salvation. After breakfast, exercise, lunch, Dexter-time, and bath, which now often happened with Dexter in a spacious glass shower, Natalie had some time in the afternoon and evenings to herself. Those were the occasions where she'd disappear into the pages of fiction. It was a better alternative than remembering those she'd left behind.
With time, Nat was allowed to join Dexter in other areas of the house. If the staff were present, it was another reason to wear clothes. However, she was never alone. Those outings always included him. She still didn't know what he did for a living, but on the first floor, he had a large office with many computer screens. It was something about stocks, margins, options...she should have paid better attention to her classes at Harvard.
It was late one night as they lay together in bed that Dexter's words smashed Nat's snow globe, leaving glass shards to litter her world. “We've been gone for months. I need to be back in the United States.”
Her heart raced as she lifted her panic-stricken eyes to his. “Are you going to leave me here alone?”
He pulled her warm, naked body closer until her head rested upon his shoulder. “No, bug. I'm never leaving you, and you’re never leaving me, remember? But we'll need to fly.”
She lifted her head again. “Please, Dexter. No cocktail.”
His eyes closed as he exhaled. “I remember you saying you didn't want it. I'm conflicted. I have it ready for you. I don't know...you haven't shown me that you'll behave and not leave me, given the chance.”
“I won't,” she answered quickly.
“Oh, bug. I believe you mean that now, but it'll be different when given the opportunity. In the States, communication will be easy. You could even be recognized.”
Recognized? Would she be? Now that she lived in a suite with mirrors, she wondered if she even looked the same as she had. Her reflection somehow seemed different. In so many ways, she wasn't the same girl who'd boarded the plane in Boston.
Besides, what did she want the world to know? What did they know about her disappearance? Would she want people to know who she'd become, that she enjoyed the way Dexter treated her...even when she didn't? That by making himself her entire world, he'd given her new purpose and a sense of being loved, not as a child or sibling, but as a woman?
Natalie shook her head. “Please, Dexter. I don't want to feel the way that cocktail made me feel. I don't like being out of control.”
“You have no control.”
It was a simple statement, yet accurate. She nodded. “You’re right. However, I'd rather give it over to you willingly than unconsciously.”
“I know. But you have to trust me.”
“I do. I trust you. Please trust me. I remember that I'm your queen. What we do behind closed doors is our business, no one else's.” Her heart ached, but the words were true. “I'd never want others to know that Natalie Rawlings kneels for hours or welcomes your punishment, that what you do to me makes me wet and wanting. That I crave the pain as much as the pleasure. It's true, you know it is. I'll continue to do it—for you and for me—but it's no one else's business.”
“What about your family? What's their business?”
Natalie sat up, suddenly chilled as her old and new life collided.
Dexter followed her up and again wrapped her in his embrace. Tears she didn't expect cascaded down her cheeks.
“Shhh,” he soothed. “Nat, it's something we both have to address if we're back in the States.”
“What can I even say to them? I disappeared.” She hiccupped. “I walked through customs with you of my own will. I left them.” More tears. “How could they ever forgive me? I moved on without a word.”
“You didn't.”
Her expression questioned as her words followed suit. “What do you mean?”
“I told you to trust me. I wanted you. Now you're mine. I told you in the very beginning that I wasn't trying to remove you from your family or the other way around. We just needed time alone before we added them to the mix.”
Natalie's skin prickled as myriad emotions flooded her system. “I don’t understand.”
Dexter eased from the bed. “Don't
leave the bed, bug. I'll show you something that'll help this all make sense.”
Nearly an hour later, Natalie looked up from Dexter’s tablet, her eyes red and swollen. From what she'd read, he was right: she hadn't missed a thing. On every milestone, holiday, and birthday Natalie had communicated with her family. She'd sent pictures of landmarks with long-winded emails explaining her need to find herself after the debacle that was her college experience.
There were responses from both her father and mother. Though at first their words reflected their disappointment, with time, they both forgave, claiming they wanted nothing more than her return. Even her siblings corresponded. Not surprisingly, Nichol was more critical; however, like their parents, they both wanted her to come back.
When she turned toward him, Dexter asked, “Do you understand?”
Nat shook her head. Cognitively she understood everything she’d read. It was the reasoning behind it that she had a difficult time comprehending.
“You also sent text messages, mostly to your mother.”
Her mother.
More tears.
“Why?” It was the only question she could form.
“For you. For them.”
She scrolled the screen of his tablet. The emails dated back to a few days after her flight.
“Did they...did they look for me?”
“Of course they did.” He kissed her forehead. “They love you. They love the selfish, spoiled daughter and sister they knew.” His eyes shone like a clear ocean pool. “Wait until they see you now.”
Natalie tried to process. She’d given up hope of ever seeing them again. She’d been so sure they’d save her, but when they didn’t...
“You did this for me?”
“Yes.”
As his answer rang in her ear, a wave of indignation washed over her. “The date. You started this right after you took me.”
“Yes.”
“All those questions you asked...the ones where you wanted truthful answers. You used what I told you to make these emails sound like they were coming from me.” Each of her statements grew louder in volume, the words quick and staccato.
“Nat, watch your tone.”
“My tone?” The emails brought back the woman she’d been. The two personas were at battle and the Natalie Rawlings of old was the one speaking. “My tone! You took me away from my family and made it sound like I was on vacation. This...” She shook the tablet in her grasp. “...wasn't for me or them. It was for you!”
Dexter's eyes darkened.
She didn’t stop. “You did it so they wouldn't find me, so you could keep me, and...” She met his gaze. As their eyes connected, her chest grew heavy with the guilt of her words.
He had taken her. He had hurt her—that was what she’d been about to say. But he’d also freed her in a way she couldn’t describe. He’d showed her a side of herself that she never knew, but now appreciated. He expanded her world by limiting it.
Natalie knew in her heart that she should apologize for raising her voice and accusing him. The narrowing of his eyes was telling her she should. But she couldn't. The conflict was back. Dexter’s actions may have saved her relationship with her family, but they also stopped the worldwide search she'd at one time prayed for.
Her shoulders straightened as she braced for his retaliation.
What would be the price for her outburst?
“Are you done?”
Was she?
Nat lowered her eyes, still unable to vocalize an apology. Instead, she took on the appropriate posture. “Yes.”
Dexter lifted her chin. “You’re right,” he said calmly. “It was for me, to give us time. It was also for you.” When she didn't respond, he released his hold, stood, and pointed to the floor. “Nat.”
Setting the tablet on the bed, her heart rate accelerated. She deserved his punishment. And despite the fact they'd made love only an hour ago, the anticipation of what he would do dampened her core as she slid to the floor and knelt at Dexter's feet.
“Tell me what should happen, what your outburst should cost.”
Her pussy clenched and breasts throbbed. This shouldn't bring her body to life. His threatening tone shouldn't make her as excited as she was frightened, but it did.
Natalie leaned forward until her face was near the floor and kissed the tops of his feet. With each inch she lowered, her anger melted away. When she sat back up, supporting herself on her bent toes, she replied, “I'll take your punishment, my king. I was wrong. I should thank you for what you did. I guess it scares me. It’s my two lives coming together. I never thought they would. I want to see my parents. I miss them, but I don't want to lose you.”
He reached for her shoulders and lifted her to standing. “You won't lose me. I won't lose you.” He lifted her chin again. “As I said, your family will see you for the queen you've become, not the spoiled princess you once were. While you were away from them, you received a tremendous gift. You went without to learn to appreciate.”
His gift settled deep into her heart. She recalled the room in the basement, the cold, damp air, the musty water from the old pipes. The bed where they’d just been settled, covered in colorful comforters, was heaven compared to where she’d awoken.
Her eyes met his. “You’re right. I do. I see things differently now. Thank you, Dexter, for showing me.”
He kissed her softly. “You’re welcome. Now, turn around, bug. Hands on the bed, feet apart. My belt will remind you who you're talking to and that outbursts and disrespectful tones are unacceptable.”
Her pussy throbbed as she obeyed. Biting her lip to keep her smile at bay, she turned her face back over her shoulder until their gazes met. With veiled eyes, she asked, “Not your hand?”
Dexter grinned as he ran his hand over her ass, dipping his fingers between her wet folds.
She squirmed at his touch.
“No, my queen. I’d say that you like my hand on your ass too much. This needs to teach you a lesson.”
Chapter 21
The best solutions are often simple,
yet unexpected. ~ Julian Casablancas
Natalie paced nervously about their suite. Her hands were clammy and posture straight. She was hot and then she was cold. It would be easy to say she was ill, but that wasn’t it. Her attention went to the large windows. Snow still covered the ground and trees. Inside, it was warm—too warm. She tugged at her sweater. Circling the collection of suitcases, she shook her head. There were so many. It was everything they possessed in the villa. It seemed ridiculous. She’d never worn half of the clothes, and now they were taking them back to the States. There was also makeup and jewelry, accessories she’d only seen until today.
Today she was dressed and made up. She was prepared to leave.
And she wasn’t.
The clothes covering her body were worse than Dexter’s restraints. Somehow she’d grown accustomed to being without. The black turtleneck sweater itched, its soft yarn threatening to suffocate her. Natalie tugged again at the material around her throat.
It wouldn’t choke her. She knew that. However, the restrictiveness was testing her nerves. The gray wool slacks flowed over the heeled boots and were bound too tightly at her waist. It wasn’t that she was heavy or that the slacks fit improperly; it was that she hadn’t worn pants of any kind in months. Even in the sitting room or around the villa, when she was clothed, she wore dresses. The heels were another issue. Though she’d walked in high heels from a young age, it had taken her a few days to do so again without resembling a gorilla playing dress up. Even the designer brands pinched her toes. The bra and panties were the absolute worst. Why did people wear them?
Her heart beat faster as she wrung her hands. Maybe it wasn’t the clothes. It was everything. It was too much. They were leaving their haven. And the world beyond these walls scared her. She could please Dexter within these walls; would she be able to outside of them?
Natalie was also concerned about their flight. Sh
e’d never do or say anything to upset Dexter, much less incriminate him. Not because she feared his punishment, but because she loved him. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about the cocktail. Dexter hadn’t said if she would drink it or not. They’d discussed it many times, each time with her promising to behave.
She replayed their conversations and his concerns. Though she hadn’t had an opportunity to prove to him that she would behave in public, it seemed as though she’d proven she would behave. The only reason it hadn’t been in public was that they’d yet to leave the villa. As she stared out the window, she imagined returning to the States and regaining the ability to communicate. If she dug deep enough, there was a small part of her—a very small part—that wanted to rebel. He was right: she couldn’t do it in Austria, but she could in the States.
Could Dexter sense that small part?
Of course, he could. He saw Natalie like no one else could. He knew her thoughts and feelings before she did. Would he punish her for those ideas, or worse, make her drink his behavior-altering concoction?
As she tried to push her worries out of mind, her reflection caught her attention. She paused. It was her, yet it wasn’t. Not only was she fully clothed, but even her hair was styled, in a low bun. She lifted her chin and stared into her own green eyes. Had she changed as Dexter said?
Quite possibly.
There was something regal in her stance. Was it something she’d always had or was it because now she was Dexter’s queen? She was proud to be on his arm, beside him, and in his bed.
She spun as the bedroom door opened.
Dexter stood motionless, his hand on the large knob as he took her in. As it had many months ago, his gaze burned, leaving a trail of charred remains over her skin. This time it wasn’t because she was naked, but because she wasn’t.
As time ticked away and he didn’t speak, she finally did. “I-it’s what you told me to wear, what was laid out.”
Without a word, Dexter took a step toward her and then another, until he was right before her. His eyes never left her, their blues and greens swirling like a turbulent sea. Finally, he looked down to the necklace’s pendant lying upon her breasts and picked it up. Within his grasp he ran the large swirled silver charm through his fingers, and then let it fall back to her chest.
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