by Sara Schoen
I sighed, breaking from those thoughts as I waited for Kayden. I didn’t want to stand outside in the cold to wait for him. I glanced at my phone while I sat on the banister near the door. Behind me there was a couch that would provide a cushion in case I fell backward. I had fallen into and over the banister more than a few occasions since elementary school. Even though she was older than me we had become fast friends growing up thanks to our moms. I remembered hitting my head on the banister whenever Parker and I started to wrestle or tickle each other, playing Xbox when it first came out, and the countless times we had slept over here. There were a few times when I slept over when wild turkeys would be at her sliding glass doors in the kitchen because her house backed up to the woods, and would scare the hell out of her in the morning. She’d scream in shock and wake up the entire house.
I felt my phone vibrate a few seconds later, interrupting the memory of how, terrified, we would race up to her parents’ bedroom crying because the turkeys scared us. Absentmindedly, I pulled the cell phone out of my pocket as a few more memories came and went. Kayden said he was outside waiting for me, effectively pulling me out of my memories and forcing me to leave the house for good, at least until Parker came back.
I pulled open the door and made sure to lock it before racing out of the house to meet Kayden at his car. I gave him a quizzical look as I noticed it was his mom’s car. He must have noticed my expression because he rolled down the window a few seconds later to speak. “Don’t worry, I asked this time.”
“You better have, I’m not getting arrested again,” I responded as I moved to the opposite side of the car and slid into the passenger seat.
It didn’t take long for Kayden to put the car in drive and take off. In fact, I hadn’t even gotten my seatbelt on yet, and I wasn’t ready for round two of NASCAR driver training. He came to a stoplight and actually stopped, which provided me a moment to catch my breath and buckle up before he peeled off again when it turned green. He didn’t say anything while he drove, and that worried me. Even when he was upset he would still speak to me, but now he said nothing. That meant something was wrong.
“Can I have a hint on what this present is?” I asked curiously, in an attempt to get him to talk, but I got nothing in response. At least, not verbally, but his body language told me I wouldn’t like whatever we were doing.
His jaw was locked in a tight clench, his knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and his eyes were locked ahead of him. I tried to get him to speak, but with each attempt he shot it down. Something was bothering him and it made me uncomfortable because I knew it would affect how our night would go. I enjoyed our time alone at the abandoned garage, and I didn’t want to sound paranoid by his behavior, so I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t when we turned down my street.
“Kayden, what are we doing?” I questioned. My anxiety grew as we got closer to my house. I really didn’t like where this was going, because I wasn’t ready to face my dad again and from his expression he didn’t look like he was pleased to meet the man who had an affair with his mom.
“You’ll find out soon,” he said vaguely as he pulled into my driveway.
“What are we doing here, Kayden? Not to sound rude, but I don’t really want you to meet my father again. I don’t think I can handle you two screaming at each other. I was barely ready to do this alone, I can’t ask you to put yourself in the same room as him.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing I already told him I was coming with you. It’s also good because then you’ll be doing the talking and I won’t have to ignore the fact he’s the guy my mom chose over my dad while trying to help you guys make up.” He smiled lightly and took hold of my hand to offer a gentle squeeze for support.
“What are we even doing here?” I asked again, wanting an actual answer—not one of his sarcastic responses.
“I know more about you than you think, Lauren. It’s time you reconciled with your dad. He means the world to you, even if you two aren’t seeing eye to eye. Yes, he’s mad right now, but it’s not because he thinks your mom left him with nothing or he blames you in any way,” he said, hitting all the main points of why I didn’t want to go back home so soon. I wanted a few more hours of distraction, not to face it head on right now. “He’s mad because he’s upset and shaken from the loss of your mother. Just because he cheated doesn’t mean he’s not hurting from her death. He’s taking out the anger he has for himself out on you. He realizes that now, and it’s time for you to go home again.”
I should have been touched he was doing this for me. He had clearly talked to my father already and knew what he had to say, but I didn’t agree. “You don’t know anything about me if you think this will help me. What do I even need help with?” I yelled angrily.
“We’ve gone to the same school for years, so let me tell you what I know. You’re a hopeless romantic who has a tough time breaking the rules, even though I know deep inside you hate the path you’re on. You have only a few friends because you have a hard time opening up, because once you open up to them they know everything about you, but you hate that because it makes you feel vulnerable. That’s probably because then they use it against you, and that’s my fault. So instead you kept up the façade of the perfect daughter, and doing what your parents wished, although the second you realized even when you follow the rules life doesn’t work out how you think it’s supposed to. Now, you’re trying to live the life you think you should have, but deep down you don’t even know what you want yet. You just want to experience it.”
“So what does that have to do with being here?” I asked, trying to change the topic so he didn’t ask how close he was to the truth. Although, if he already knows that much, then he probably already knew that he was dead on about what he said. I didn’t know him as well as he knew me.
“I’m going to give you the only present I can give you that will remind you of who you are, and why your family means so much to you. Hopefully, this goes better than I planned, and then I can go home and do the same thing with my mom. It’s time that I was a little more like you,” he stated with a smile as he squeezed my hand again.
I begrudgingly nodded and got out of the car. I hesitated once I shut the door, but Kayden held out his hand and pulled me close. He whispered encouragement in my ear, and said he’d be there if I needed him. When he felt my body relax, I allowed him to lead me into the house, though as we got closer, the nerves came back. I moaned as he pushed open the door and forced me to follow him inside. Kayden smiled at me before telling me to call for my dad in the hopefully empty house.
“Dad?” I called out. One side of me was silently hoping he responded and the other was still hoping he wasn’t home.
“Lauren, is that you?” His voice called down from somewhere upstairs. He didn’t wait for me to respond before things started moving around and his footsteps raced around upstairs.
“Yeah, Dad, it’s me,” I said awkwardly as we heard his footsteps racing down the stairs toward us, once again increasing my anxiety.
“I’ve been waiting for you to come home so I could talk to you. Kayden said you’d be coming by.” He stopped when he saw me standing next to Kayden. There was an awkward pause, he was upset I had brought Kayden with me even though Kayden had talked to him. I guess he was hoping I would come alone. Much to my pleasure, the moment soon passed and my dad smiled at the both us before holding his arms out. He quickly came to hug me. “I’m glad you’re back. I’m sorry for everything I said. If you can forgive me, then I’ll have your back no matter what you have to do to make yourself happy.”
I hugged him back tentatively, unsure if he was being honest with me, and Kayden politely stepped back to give us some space. My head rested nicely on his shoulder while his hug told me just how much he missed me. He apologized over and over again, but when I looked over his shoulder I knew he had done his best to say he missed me. I could see a pile of presents under the tree for me just like my mom had always done for us.
&nb
sp; I felt a tear slowly slip down my cheek as my heart swelled with emotion. Kayden lightly patted me on the back when he noticed I was crying. It made my heart flutter at his constant support and the fact he cared enough about me to make this happen, and I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if Kayden could feel it too.
Chapter 18
Tequila Shot
I stood near the front door in dark skinny jeans and a silver sequined top, waiting for Kayden to come pick me up for my first New Year’s Eve party. I was nervous, but thankful my father wasn’t here to scrutinize my outfit while I waited. It was different than what I normally wore and while he had become more accepting of my choices and my changes I knew he wouldn’t like it. That didn’t matter though, because I felt confident and I liked it. The jeans clung to the curves of my legs and showed off the lift of my butt I didn’t even know I had, while the sequin shirt drew attention to my flat stomach instead of my flat chest, which was currently being assisted by a push up bra.
For the first time in my high school life, I felt very pleased with my body and knew the confidence was flowing through me. That’s when I realized that this whole project, or rehabilitation as Kayden called it, really was working. I had changed on the outside, but if I wanted people to stop making fun of me, I had to change inside too. Only then would others notice the change because I would naturally show my new personality. I just hoped I didn’t lose myself along the way, I thought as a knock pounded on my door.
When I opened it a few moments later, I saw Kayden fixing his hair in the glass on my front door. He quickly straightened up as if he was embarrassed I had caught him primping. I glanced over his outfit as he brushed out the wrinkles of his dress shirt and jeans. He cleaned up nicely. It seemed as if New Year’s brought out the sparkle in everybody.
“Like what you see?” Kayden asked, quickly wiping the smile off my face. He had caught me staring, and I wasn’t going to deny the fact that I had been, but I also wasn’t going to admit it.
“You’re so egotistical,” I stated.
“But you love me,” he said with a smirk and a suggestive eyebrow lift. “Even if you don’t in real life, you have to fake it tonight for my friends. Ryan and Cassandra believed it and spread it around, but you have to work it tonight. These guys need to believe it in their hearts that we are dating or the whole thing falls apart,” he said as he laced his hands with mine and led me out of my house.
I nodded. “Anything else I have to do tonight?”
“You’re going to have to drink at least one beer tonight, but I won’t pressure you to have more than that. I’ll be watching these guys to make sure you stay safe, but if I’m not around, then I need you to be observant. Watch your drink, and all that other stuff you learned in health class. Remember that if you’re ever uncomfortable you can get a new one. When you finish your drink I’ll get you a refill, and only me. You can have water for the rest of the night, and nobody has to know because the cups won’t be see-through. Just fake it,” he instructed as he opened the car door for me and let me slide into his car easily.
“Why do I have to drink?” I asked as he shut the door. I waited in silence as he jogged around the car and let himself in before I repeated the question.
“Unfortunately, you have to drink to be a part of the crowd. I won’t pressure you to drink anything else, and if we’re really lucky we slip your beer into my cup and no one will have to know. Then I can just have you drink water the entire night and you can just act tipsy. I’d prefer it like that, but if it can’t happen, just drink the beer really slowly and say you’ve had more than you have. No one will know except us.”
“But why do people have to drink to be a part of the scene? Why can’t I just drink water instead of us trying to find a way around it? I’m not old enough to drink yet.”
“You’ve clearly never been to a party,” he stated with a chuckle.
I glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t be insulted, Lauren. All I’m saying is that people will be drunk. You have to get into the mood so you can have some fun or you’ll be miserable. I can’t have you be uptight and rule-oriented tonight. That’s not going to work for our plan, but I can see that it’s going to be hard for you.” He chuckled.
“I think I’ll do just fine,” I said confidently. I laughed when Kayden flashed me a look that said ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’ Kayden couldn’t hold back the smile that crept onto his lips as he tried to hold back his laughter while he drove through a green light, getting closer to our destination. “Will anything else be happening tonight?”
“What do you mean?” Kayden asked curiously, his voice suddenly changing. Did he think I was trying to find a way out so early? While I didn’t enjoy the idea of going to a party where drinking would be happening, I was a little excited to go to my first party, but we’d see how it went once we arrived.
“If they are drinking, will they be doing anything else like sex or drugs?”
Kayden let out a breath of a shaky laugh before speaking. He had definitely been nervous I was trying to get out of it already. “I have an easy fix if you don’t want to do drugs. Just say you have asthma…since they mostly smoke pot, you’ll get out of it. You’ll still get some shit for it, but they’ll be more willing to leave you alone. Here’s an inhaler so you can act the part,” he said as he passed me a red inhaler from the center console of the car. “It’s for effect, please don’t actually use it. They shouldn’t give you a hard time since I have the same problem and refuse to do drugs since it started an asthma attack for me freshman year. Also remember, if you’re ever uncomfortable, then just tell me and we will leave right then and there, I promise.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m serious, and don’t forget…” He hesitated for a moment so he could be sure I was listening. “You’re my girlfriend. If anyone is having sex with you then it’s going to be me,” he said with a wink.
“You wish,” I said with a laugh.
“You bet I do,” he said as he pulled into the driveway of someone’s house. I glanced at him curiously, confused by what he had said. “Remember, you’re my girlfriend. You stick with me and we should make it through tonight without any problems.”
“I got it,” I said with an eye roll as I pushed my car door open and stepped out. I walked over to his side of the car so I could join hands with him again, letting my heels click on the ground as I moved to get out of the car.
“You’re in for some fun,” Kayden said with a smile as he took my hand and led me to the house. He didn’t even knock, he just walked in. How rude.
As soon as he opened the door my sense of smell was attacked by an awful stench, and my ears were bombarded with loud music. I felt my face scrunch in disgust as I looked at Kayden to ask what it was. He glanced at me and laughed lightly, pointing to the people smoking in the far corner of the crowded living room. The smile didn’t fade from his face as I asked him, more like screamed in his ear since the music made it hard to hear, to not go over there; I couldn’t stand the smell. He rolled his eyes so he wouldn’t have to lean over and yell as I had done to him, but he nodded and pulled me in the opposite direction.
He led me over to some of his friends who were taking shots, two girls and a boy with black hair. Both girls rolled their eyes and then flashed disgusted expressions in my direction when they saw me. I knew them as Jamie, who was the one with brown hair, and Alexis, with blonde hair, because they both hated me when I was a goodie-goodie, maybe because I broke up their hook up with Kayden when I told a teacher. Funny thing is I didn’t even feel guilty about it because now it looked like Kayden had picked me over them.
Although that didn’t last long, because soon Alexis had her hands wrapped around Kayden’s neck and he was eating up the attention. I could feel jealousy growing and I guess it was obvious, because the boy with black hair piped up, “Careful, Alexis, I think Kayden’s girlfriend has something to say about you getting close to her man
.”
“Got that right,” I said as I glared her down until she took a few steps back. I didn’t miss Kayden’s smile at my remark, but he clearly tried to hide it from everyone else because he turned directly to me to show it. He leaned in close to me, making my heart flutter as he spoke.
“I’m going to grab a drink,” Kayden yelled so I could hear him over the music. “Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m fine,” I said, but Kayden wasn’t going to allow me to skip out on drinking. It was worth a try though—I wasn’t in the mood to drink.
“Mac, get her something. I’ll be right back,” Kayden said before he walked off.
Mac nodded his head before he took another shot. I hadn’t been paying attention to how many he had since we walked in, not to mention prior to us arriving, but from the way he swayed he had had more than enough.
“Here, try a shot of tequila,” Mac said as he handed me a shot glass that read ‘down the hatch, bitches!’ I glanced between him and the clear liquid. “It will taste awful going down, but you’ll get used to it.”
I looked around for Kayden, but I couldn’t see him. I could see the doubt in Mac’s eyes the longer I hesitated, so I put the glass to my lips and tipped my head back as the burning liquid traveled down my throat. I swallowed it as fast as I could while my face scrunched up at the taste. “That was disgusting!” I exclaimed as I looked around for something to wash the taste out of my mouth.