“You have a reprieve, but I swear to god, if someone tries to make us go home before we want to, you and I are gonna have a very tense conversation.”
“I’ll hide the kitchen appliances,” he retorted, smacking her butt as he helped her into the van.
Jasmine and Willow burst into laughter as they followed Olivia.
I waited until the sliding door was closed and everyone was buckled in. “Spill,” Parker demanded, and Jasmine grinned.
“Before Olivia and Doc made it official,” Jasmine said, “Liv had a penchant for throwing small kitchen appliances at Doc’s head.”
“Or frying pans,” Lyric added.
“Oh my god,” Parker rasped, snorting with laughter.
“In my defense, I was a little insecure about where I stood with Doc.”
“Even though he told you over and over again how much he loved you, and showed you every second he could,” Jasmine countered.
Olivia grimaced. “I was a little unstable then. But it’s all good now. I haven’t even thrown a pillow at him. I’ve evolved.”
“We’re all so, so proud,” Lyric said, and Olivia laughed.
“We’re here.” Mouse pulled the van into the parking lot of Blurr and turned off the engine, turning to face us. “Y’all know the ground rules, right?”
“Dance until we can’t stand, and fuck the first hottie I come across,” I quipped.
Mouse turned his head toward me...slowly, and I heard Quin whisper, “Oh, shit.”
Continuing to stare me down, Mouse said, “Ladies, go ahead and step out. Kennedy and I are gonna have a quick conversation.”
“No, we’re not,” I countered.
Mouse gently took my arm as I tried to move to the door. “Ladies. Please.”
Being the traitors they were, the ladies scrambled out of the van and Shadow had to steady a couple of them as they fled.
“Close the door, brother,” Mouse said, and Shadow nodded, sliding the door closed.
I shook my head, pulling myself from the memory, and turning off the water. Christmas was rapidly approaching, and my boss needed me in the office early so we could get everything sorted before the office closed for two weeks. I was the executive assistant for the vice president of marketing, working for one of the largest tech companies in Savannah.
And I hated it.
My passion was sugar. Baking to be exact. I loved to create confectionery masterpieces and I was damn good at it. My dream was to open my own bakery, but for the moment, I was grinding it in the real world and saving every penny I could.
I took time to enjoy a giant cup of coffee, considering I didn’t have to leave for work for another hour, then I locked up my little one-bedroom apartment and headed into work.
* * *
Mouse
“Mouse!” Doc bellowed from the other side of the great room.
“Yeah?” I replied from the kitchen. I was currently pouring myself a cup of tar in an effort to wake up.
“Come help me with this fuckin’ tree.”
It was the club’s tenth annual holiday party for foster kids, and we were busting our asses to get everything ready in time. The party was Saturday and since today was Thursday, we were running a bit behind.
I walked into the great room and laughed. The Christmas tree was at least twelve feet tall and made Doc look like an elf.
“Don’t start,” Doc ordered.
“You didn’t want a bigger tree, huh?” I asked as I grabbed hold of the trunk so Doc could secure it.
“Olivia wanted this one. She said she wanted it to be ‘spectacular.’ Fuck me, never again.”
I held back a chuckle. If Olivia wanted an even bigger one next year, Doc’d chop it down himself if he couldn’t find one to buy, so his edict was a load of shit.
“Oh my god, baby, that looks amazing,” Olivia said, strolling out from her office down the hall.
Doc frowned at her. “This is bullshit, woman. Total overkill.”
“It’s perfect. The kids are going to love it.” She grasped her hands in front of her. “I love it.”
“You’re gonna need to water it every day,” Doc warned.
“We can get recruits to do that,” I countered.
Doc glared at me. “Or, my woman can do it since she insisted on having a sycamore in the middle of the goddamn barn.”
I smiled at Olivia. “Recruits’ll do it, babe.”
“Oh, I know,” she sassed.
“We don’t even have enough decorations to cover this monstrosity,” Doc grumbled.
“Oh, no,” Olivia said in mock horror. “I’m going to have to take the girls into town to shop.”
“You did this on purpose,” Doc accused.
She raised her hands in surrender. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”
I chuckled and grabbed the tree again while Doc wrapped a zip tie around it and anchored it to the wall.
“Hi, honey,” Olivia said. “I thought you weren’t coming until later.”
I glanced up to see Kennedy walking in, her hands full of groceries. She was baking all manner of desserts for the kids, and us, and I couldn’t fuckin’ wait to put whatever she created in my mouth. We had a few days, but she always planned ahead, which was something I admired about her.
“You good, Doc?” My president nodded, and I rushed to help Kennedy. “Hey, baby. Did you get off early?” I asked, easing her load.
“You could say that,” she evaded. “And don’t call me baby.”
“Not gonna happen.” I frowned. “What happened?”
“I got laid off.”
“What the fuck?” I growled setting the bags on the kitchen island. “Right before Christmas?”
“Yeah. Right before Christmas.” She sighed. “It’s fine. It’s not like I had time for a job right now anyway.”
“Baby, we’ll figure it out.”
“I’ll figure it out,” she countered. “You’ll stay out of it.”
I took her hand and tugged her toward the bunk room.
“Mouse, what are you doing?” she squeaked.
I didn’t enlighten her as I pulled her into the room and closed the door. “When, Kennedy?”
“When, what?”
“When are you gonna stop lyin’ to yourself?”
She dropped her head and I sighed.
“I’m here, Lace. You know that, right?”
“I wish you’d just walk away, Mouse. I wish you’d release me from whatever this is.”
“When you tell me the truth, just fuckin’ once, Kennedy, I’ll consider walking away.”
“Sunday after the party,” she breathed out.
“Sunday, what?”
“Come to my place for dinner. I’ll tell you everything, but then you need to promise you’ll walk out my door and leave me alone.”
I studied her. I didn’t give a shit what she planned on telling me. I would never leave her to navigate this world alone.
“Sunday,” I said.
She nodded, and I helped her put everything away.
Kennedy
Sunday rolled around and I was panicking. Why the hell did I suggest this? Gah! The party for the kids had been a huge success—no surprise, it usually was—and I’d been riding high on the love shown to my cupcakes. The kids all got to take one home, along with eating as many as they wanted at the party. It solidified my desire to do something with my gift, I just didn’t know what.
My doorbell pealed and I took a few steadying breaths before pulling the door open. I forced myself not to jump into Mouse’s arms and hold onto him like one of those stuffed animals you won at the fair. “Hi.”
“Hey, baby. Love the apron.”
“Thanks.” I currently wore my black apron with the body of Princess Leia on it. It had been a gag gift from my brother last Christmas, but since it was my only apron, I wore it proudly.
“We might need to take that into the bedroom.”
“Stop.” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from sighing, rolling m
y eyes instead as I forced myself to control a shiver. Lord he was gorgeous. Dark hair with a red hue, long at the top and swept back out of his face, that I loved to slide my fingers through when he fucked me. He was tall and lean and his beard was full and long, although, he’d obviously just trimmed it, because he looked a little more Jax right now than his normal Opie.
“Come in,” I said.
He stepped inside and leaned down to kiss me, and even though I tried not to, I reared back, terrified he’d hit me. Irrational as it might be, I couldn’t bear his touch. Fucking was fine, but gentle touch was off the table.
“Lacey,” he breathed out.
“Don’t, okay?” I whispered.
“Yeah, sweetheart, whatever you need.”
“I made ribs,” I said as I led him to the kitchen.
“I love ribs.”
I smiled. “I heard that somewhere.”
He chuckled. I’d made ribs for one of the club family nights and he’d bugged me ever since to make them again. They took a while, so it was rare I had enough time to do them justice. I decided today would be a good day to make the time. I was never going to see him naked again, so he needed something good to remember me by.
“We gonna talk before or after we eat?”
“Food’s ready, so after,” I said. “Beer?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
I grabbed a bottle and opened it, then handed it to him.
“You bought my favorite beer?” he asked with a cheeky smirk as he lifted the bottle to his mouth.
“Don’t read anything into it. Colm and Tadhg like it, too,” I retorted.
My big brothers actually hated it, they were all Guinness all the time, but Mouse didn’t need to know that. He grinned even bigger and gave me a chin lift.
“Have a seat,” I instructed, and he sat at my two-person dining table.
Over the next half-hour, we ate in relative silence. I had a difficult time swallowing anything, so I made a good show of pushing my food around my plate.
After letting this go for close to fifteen minutes, Mouse dropped a rib on his plate with a sigh. “Right, we’re done with this shit. Talk now, eat later.”
He stood, taking his plate (and mine) to the sink and washing his hands. Once he was done, he held one hand out to me, and I let him lead me to my sofa. “What’s goin’ on, Kennedy?”
“You have to promise you’ll let me talk until I’m done. No interrupting.”
He nodded.
“I’ve had a weird dating life. I had a couple of high school boyfriends and they were fine, but they kind of bored me, so when I met Seth, he offered a little more excitement and I thought I’d found someone with whom I could explore my sexuality.”
Mouse scowled, his hands fisting, but he didn’t comment.
“At first, it was exciting, but then, as you know, it wasn’t.”
A few years ago, Seth and his cousin, Thomas, had worked in tandem to kill several women in the Savannah area. Seth was currently in federal custody where he’d cut out his own tongue to ensure he didn’t snitch on anyone. He was still there, in prison, unable to speak or eat, being fed through a tube.
“But it was gradual, his abuse. I almost didn’t realize it was happening, because I’d push back and use our safe word, and he’d stop. But then he didn’t stop, and he’d blame me for letting things go too far. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of therapy to get to the point where I feel like I’m coming back to myself. You don’t know this but other than a one-night stand with Gabe, you’re the first man I’ve slept with since Seth,” I explained.
“Gabe’s a dick,” he hissed.
Gabe was Michelle’s brother, and Mouse was right, he was a dick. I mean, he wasn’t to most people, but he and I had never liked each other, even before I slept with him. My one-night stand with him was the result of too many shots of tequila and Gabe’s willingness to go down on me. But the sex had been awful, and I didn’t like him any more the next day, so we were back to being barely cordial at public gatherings.
“I know,” I agreed. “But even if he wasn’t, I would have ended things. Like I’m doing with you. We can never be anything more than this, Declan. I can’t give you something I don’t have to give.”
“What do you think I want?”
“Emotions. Commitment... Kissing. You know, intimacy...like spooning and talking after sex.”
He dragged his hand over his beard, something he did when he didn’t want to admit I’d just said something he couldn’t contradict. I knew it irritated the shit out of him, but I had to give him credit, he didn’t show it... much.
“I’ve thought a lot about what you said to me in the van that night, and it’s time we just cut this off.” I bit my lip. “Will you give me that?”
“Baby, you’re askin’ me to give you something you don’t actually want.”
I let out a frustrated groan and dropped my head back, staring at the ceiling. “Mouse—”
“Hear me out.”
I met his eyes and waited.
“I know you’ve been to hell and back, Kennedy. I’ve watched you change and finally find your way back to yourself, as you explained it. I’ve also watched you pull away from your friends, baby. Losing Remington to Portland and Michelle to the ground took more from you than you seem to be willing to admit.”
My nose stung as tears threatened to form. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fuckin’ fine, Kennedy.”
“Stop.”
He sighed. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, yeah? I’ll give you space, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
“I will never be ready, Mouse. That’s what you’re not getting.”
He shook his head. “I call bullshit.”
I dropped my face in my hands with a groan. “Why do you always call bullshit when I’m spilling my heart out to you?”
“Oh, is that what you’re doing?”
“Are you seriously saying that to me?”
“What have you told me that I didn’t already know?” he challenged.
I hated how well he knew me. He knew me better than my own parents did. To be honest, I think he knew me better than I knew myself.
“I don’t really know what else to say,” I whispered. “But I’d appreciate it if you gave me space.”
“You’re heading to your ski thing in a little over a week, right? That’s enough space.”
“Ah, sure, I guess,” I fibbed. I was leaving earlier than that, but hadn’t filled him in on my plans.
“Where are you going this year?”
“That falls under the ‘space’ moniker.” I’d purposely not told him where I was going, mostly because I was going alone and if he found that out, he’d lose his shit. I sighed. “Just give me some time, okay?”
“I can do that,” he said. “After dessert.”
“What makes you think there’s dessert?”
“Because you’re Kennedy.”
I sighed. “Salted caramel cupcakes.”
“Fuck, yes. My favorite.”
Oh, I knew they were his favorite. His second favorite dessert was my cheesecake. He was always very vocal about how appreciative he was whenever I made anything, so it was easy to figure out.
We headed back to the kitchen and he ate six cupcakes. When he reached for the seventh, I was concerned he might have a sugar crash while he was on his bike, so I insisted he take the rest home with him.
I walked Mouse to the door and locked up behind him just as my phone pealed in the silence. It was Remington.
“Hey, Rem.”
“Hi, honey. I’m sorry it’s taken me forever to call you back.”
“It’s all good,” I said. “How are you and Finch? How’s ballet?”
Remington was an incredible dancer, and she lived and breathed ballet. She’d been offered a position with a ballet company in Portland, and she was thriving.
“We’re good. Ballet’s amazing. Cassidy’s conservatory is exploding. We have a two-year w
aiting list and more and more heavy hitters are applying to dance for her.”
“That’s amazing,” I breathed out.
“Yeah. But enough about me,” she said. “Why did they fire you?”
“Cutbacks,” I said. “They laid off thirty of us.”
“Jebus,” she breathed out. “Right before Christmas. How nice of them.”
“Yeah. They’re assholes. But I knew that already and I really just needed a shove out the door anyway.”
“You always have such a good attitude when life fucks you up the ass.”
“Right?” I chuckled without mirth. “I’m the poster child for optimism.”
She laughed. “Okay, maybe I was being a little too encouraging.”
“I keep you around because you are the sunshine in my cave.”
Remington snorted. “Oh my god, if that’s true, you’re screwed.”
“No doubt.”
“What are you going to do about your family without family trip?”
Ever since I was ten, my parents had taken us kids somewhere snowy right before Christmas. The last few years, however, we’d kind of gone our separate ways, but we always congregated at Mom and Dad’s on Christmas day.
This year, however, my parents had celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary, so they were going to head out on a cruise to the Mediterranean for the entire month of December. I’d decided there was no way in hell I was missing my ski time, so I was flying to Colorado for a week.
“I’m going a week early. I might stay a few days longer. Not sure yet,” I said.
“Did you tell—?”
“If you seriously ask me if I told Mouse, I will reach through this phone and smack you upside the head.”
She chuckled. “Okay, fine. But I’m concerned you’re going alone.”
“Babe, Skeeter will be there. I’ve already let him know when I’m coming and he’s going to be on the runs I’m on, so he’ll watch out for me.”
Skeeter was from California, and the quintessential surfer dude, who worked winters teaching the rich to ski so he could chase the waves the rest of the year.
“And does Mouse—”
“I will maim you, Remington.”
She sighed. “At what point are you going to admit you love the man and just go with it?”
“There’s nothing to admit.”
The Davenport Christmas Chronicles Page 15