by Jane Charles
I still. What the hell? “Why?”
“You didn’t call.”
“I couldn’t.”
“I know that. We saw the news. You were in the background talking to someone.”
Then why the hell didn’t she take my call? It isn’t like I was blowing her off. “She’s mad at me?”
“Hey, Jackie is very particular about people being late, being a no show, or not calling.”
Don’t be late. Ashley had warned me the first time I was supposed to take Jackie out. I guess the two phone calls are what saved my ass. “Shit! I would have called if I could.” Why am I explaining to Theo when it’s Jackie I need to talk to?
“Hey, Dude, I know that. And, I think your reason is legit. You just need to convince her.”
“Why is she so rigid about this? Things happen.”
“Hey, those are her issues. I know why, but if you want to know, she’s got to be the one to tell you.”
Well, he’s not being any help.
“Just give her time. Keep calling. I’m sure she’ll pick up eventually.”
I guess there isn’t much I can do. “Well tell her that I’ll call when I can, but I’m still working and it could be hours if not more.”
“Didn’t find the kids yet?”
I shouldn’t reveal anything about the investigation, but it has already hit the news. “No.”
“That sucks. I’ll let her know. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
I click off the phone and just stare at it again. I get just being a no show and that, but she saw me on the news, she knows about the murder and the missing kids and she still won’t fucking take my call. It’s not like I didn’t try to reach her the first chance I had.
With disgust I shove the phone in my pocket. Let her call me because I’m not chasing after her for something I have no control over.
Chapter Nineteen
“Really?”
I stare at the phone. Ashley called just to say that? “Really what?”
“You gave those assholes you dated in college dozens of chances and Brett calls late just one time and you freeze him out? At least he had an excellent excuse, like dead bodies and missing children. Those other dicks had none and you still talked to them.”
I so do not need this from Ashley right now. Brett had called me two times each day since grandmother’s surgery which was three days ago, not that I spoke with him, but Theo answered my phone that first day. Gran is no longer in ICU, but will be in the hospital for a few more days. There’s so much to do before we bring her home and I don’t want to deal with this.
“That’s different,” I finally say.
“Why? Because Brett’s a decent guy and the others were jerks?”
That is precisely why, though I know it doesn’t make sense. The others, I got irritated with, but still went to dinner, a movie, and bars. In retrospect, I wasn’t that invested in the relationships. They weren’t that important to me, just easy. I finally broke it off when I was sick of their shit and lack of consideration. When Brett wasn’t there, when I really needed him, and didn’t call until hours later. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
And, then there was the panic. What if something had happened to him? That is what scared me. Too close, too fast. I was worried about what happened to him and about my grandmother in surgery, until I saw him on the news.
Am I being unreasonable? Probably, but I need to take a step back. The panic I experienced when I didn’t know where he was and he didn’t answer his phone was unlike anything I’d felt since the day my parents didn’t show up at school. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.
“Well?”
Shit, I didn’t answer her, but I can’t tell Ashley what’s going on in my head. She either won’t understand or try and argue with me. I’ve got too much I need to worry about right now. “Listen, I’ve got to get the house set up for grandmother when she comes home. I really don’t have time to deal with this right now.”
“I’m sure he’ll wait once I tell him.”
“You don’t need to tell him anything,” I snap back. “By the way, how do you even know any of this?”
“He came in to work out a little bit ago. Finally got some free time now that those two little kids were found late last night and their dad was arrested for the murder.”
I had seen that on the news this morning and wondered how much of a part Brett played. Especially since there was gunfire before the man was taken into custody. Another round of panic almost set in when I found out two agents had been shot during the arrest. They’ll recover but it still scared me.
Do I really want to be with someone who is constantly in the line of danger?
Already his job is fucking with my emotions. I’d be a basketcase if I fell in love with him.
A chill goes up my spine. No. I am not going to think about his job and what he has been doing or what could happen. I’m not even sure I want to see him again.
“Don’t let this one slip through your fingers, Jackie, just because you’re stubborn.”
“I’m not being stubborn. I’m being pragmatic.”
“Ha! You’re just afraid.”
Afraid? “Of what?”
“Loving and losing.”
“I am not.”
“Tell that to someone who doesn’t know you.” Then she’s gone. No goodbye or nothing and I’ve managed to piss off my best friend. She’ll get over it. Ashley always does. And in this, she is wrong.
I know she’s not at the hospital because I went there first. Mrs. Baxter seems to be doing okay, but she’s very weak and appreciated my visit. As the nurse didn’t think Jackie would be back today, I decided to head to the plantation house. If Jackie’s writing me off because of one late call, I want to know now so I can stop calling her. And, I’m a little pissed too. She could have at least returned one of my phone calls. If what we have is over, I’ll be bummed, but I want that closure and a chance to give her a piece of my mind.
She has to be home. Lights are on inside and once in a while I hear noises, but nobody is coming to the door. I ring the bell again and wait, then peek through the windows beside the door. She and Theo just stepped into the entry and they’re carrying a mattress. What are they doing?
Instead of waiting for either of them to actually answer the door, I open it and step inside. Jackie’s head jerks up and Theo grins at me.
“Because you’re FBI you think you can just walk in any house?”
“I’ve been waiting for someone to answer and then saw that you could probably use some help.”
“We’ve got this,” she bites out.
“No we don’t.” Theo grins. “She’s about as much help as my ten-year-old cousin.”
“That’s not true.” Jackie drops her end of the mattress, upsetting Theo’s balance. He loses control of it and it tips over, hits the coat rack, which falls onto a table, knocking the lamp onto the marble floor and shattering the light bulb.
“See what you did.” She glares at her brother.
“Me?” He tosses up his hands. “I didn’t drop your end to begin with.”
Jackie blows out a sigh. “I’ll get the broom and a damp cloth. Neither one of us needs to step on glass.”
“I’ll get it.” Theo rushes out of the room before Jackie can say anything.
She turns to me, her hands fisted on her hips and glares.
“I was afraid maybe your phone was broken so I thought I’d better stop by.”
Her eyes narrow further. “It’s not.”
“Oh, so you were just being rude in not returning my phone calls.”
She grabs the end of the mattress and starts dragging it through the parlor. “I’ve been busy.”
“You sure you want to risk getting glass in that?”
Jackie stops and blows out a sigh.
“How is your grandmother?”
“Better.” Some of the tension leaves her shoulders. “She’ll be out of the hospital in a few days if she con
tinues to improve, but she won’t be able to go up the stairs until she’s stronger.”
It is a massive marble staircase and splits and goes in two different directions to the second level.
“So you are moving her room down here.”
“Yeah. We cleaned a back room. I think a housekeeper used to live in there at one time because it has a sitting room and a full bath so grandmother should be comfortable. And, it’s near the kitchen.”
I’m not surprised there was a housekeeper. I’m just surprised there isn’t one now. “What can I help with?” She and Theo do not need to be moving all of that furniture on their own.
“We’ve got this.”
“No we don’t,” Theo answers coming in from the dining room. He’s carrying a broom and dustpan. “We’ve still got to get her entire bedroom down here.”
“Not everything.”
“Really? That old room is empty. You want her to just sleep on the mattress on the floor, keep her clothes in neat little piles or hung in the closet.
“Okay, let’s get this done,” her Uncle Robert says as he comes in the door, followed by the rest of Jackie’s uncles. “Glad you could come by and help.” He pats me on the shoulder as he heads up the stairs.
“That’s not necessary.” She smiles at me but her eyes are telling me to go away. “We’ve got more help than we need.”
I am not leaving that easy. Not until we talk and have it out, which we can’t do with her brother and uncles around.
“Since you’ve got a lot of help now.” Theo glares at the backs of his uncles as they go up the stairs. “I’ll head back to the camp.”
“Theo, stay,” she almost begs.
“I will when they really listen and stop dismissing me.”
Jackie practically deflates and for the first time I see how exhausted and worn out she is. A lot of my anger slips away. Maybe now isn’t the time to push on her returning my phone call or being mad when I called late, but that doesn’t mean I’m leaving either. “I’ll go help your uncles.”
“You don’t have to.” This time her voice is no longer irritated, just tired.
“Maybe I just want to.” I head up the stairs and I could swear she muttered something about me being a damn Boy Scout.
Chapter Twenty
Why is he here, now? I was going to deal with Brett, my feelings and all the confusion about what we are, should be, shouldn’t be, and what I want later. After I’ve got Gran’s room set and she’s home.
Before I can figure out a way to make him leave, my uncles and Brett start carrying down all of Gram’s furniture. I hurry ahead to her new room so I can tell them where everything should go. I’ve planned it out so it’s easy for her to get out of the bed and walk to the bathroom or sitting room. It needs to be just perfect because she is going to hate being down here and not in the room she shared with Grandpa.
As they are setting up the furniture, I go back upstairs and start dragging her clothing from the closet and then hang it in her new room. I won’t even look at Brett. I can’t right now. Especially not with all of my uncles in the room.
When I’m done with the closet, I grab a box and head up to her bathroom and clean it out of all the essentials like her toothbrush and shampoo and everything else. I take my time, hoping they are done by the time I get downstairs. With luck, Brett would realize he isn’t needed and be gone.
After loading the box, I grab towels and washcloths from her linen closet and new sheets. I can’t take them all in one trip and deliver the linens before going back for the box. When I come back downstairs, Brett is making her bed and my uncles are gone.
Shit! I don’t want to be alone with him.
“Thanks for your help. I can get the rest.”
“I’m sure you can.” He straightens the bedspread and then folds it over the pillow.
“You can go,” I insist. “I don’t want to take up anymore of your time.”
“I’ve got nowhere else to be.” He then straightens up the rug that had been kicked aside earlier.
“Well, I’ve got things to do.” I carry the box into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.
I know I’m being stubborn and unreasonable, but I don’t care. I didn’t like feeling panicked, afraid he was dead somewhere when he didn’t call. It’s way too soon to feel those kind of emotions and I need to get some distance. This, whatever it is, is happening way too fast.
Besides, I need to concentrate on my grandmother now. And Theo, and don’t need some guy fucking with my head. With any luck, he’ll be gone when I’m done with Gram’s bathroom. He’s smart enough to take a hint. He’s a fucking FBI agent.
I take my time putting away all of her stuff, even making sure the toilet paper is in the right direction and then fold the corners neatly, just like they do in the hotel rooms.
I slowly turn, hoping I can find something else to do in here, but it’s pretty much done and ready for grandma. So, taking a deep breath, I open the door to the bedroom.
He’s not there.
Brett’s not in the sitting room either. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed.
I’m still pissed and want some distance to figure shit out. But, I’m not nearly as pissed as I was earlier, or want to be. He did come looking for me and helped move furniture and I kind of liked that he wasn’t giving up. But, he also left quickly too.
It’s my own fault for being stubborn. I should have answered at least one of his calls, but it’s so much easier to be mad than hurt. And it’s damn scary that someone can hurt you after a week. I’ve practically lived with guys in the past and wasn’t this vulnerable.
Still, I’m disappointed that he’s gone.
Shit! I don’t know what to feel when it comes to Brett. I get all hot just looking at him, and anxious when he’s not around. That’s too much power for one person to have over someone else and I’m so not sure I like it.
Maybe I’ll call him later and thank him for helping. It’s really the right thing to do.
With a sigh I step into the kitchen and am brought up short. Brett is sitting at the kitchen table drinking a bottle of Coke. “Your uncle brought these up. There’s more in the fridge.”
I can’t help it, but my heart gives a little jump that he didn’t give up, but I’m also not sure I’m ready for the conversation. And, one has to be had since he came here looking for me because I wouldn’t answer the phone.
Jackie watches me with trepidation as she walks to the fridge and takes out a bottle of beer. After twisting the top off and tossing it in the garbage she turns to me. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not as willing to write you off as you are me.”
“I’ve a lot going on with Grandma and Theo.”
I nod. “I’m sure you do, but answering one of my phone calls isn’t exactly going to keep you from being the devoted granddaughter and sister.”
Jackie blows out a sigh then takes a swig of the beer. “I need to get out of here.” With that she stomps out the back door but stops at a seating area and plops down on a chaise.
I follow. “Are you really that mad that you are going to write me off the first time I can’t be somewhere when I said I would?”
“You didn’t call.”
“I called the first chance I had.”
She stares at me. “You couldn’t call before that? Really?”
“It was fucking triple homicide,” I yell, my frustration growing. If this is how she’s going to be every time there is an emergency, maybe I don’t want to date her. “And, two children were missing. I’m sorry, but that took precedence.” I push my fingers through my hair. Yelling will solve nothing. “As soon as I was in route to the scene. I knew what we were getting and knew then that I probably wouldn’t be making it to the hospital.”
“So, why didn’t you call?”
“It was four in the morning. I didn’t want to wake you. I never dreamed I wouldn’t get another chance to call until late morning.”
“I would have appreciated a 4 a.m. phone call over the wondering what the hell happened to you.”
“Look, you were at the hospital all evening. I dropped you at home at midnight and you were beat and I knew you were getting up at six to go back to the hospital and would have a rough day. I didn’t want to be the one that interrupted the sleep you needed.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
I throw up my hands in frustration, spilling a little Coke. “Obviously. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
Jackie leans forward, her green eyes intense and I sink to the lawn chair. At least now I’ll get some answers.
“Do you know what it’s like to wait for someone and they don’t show? The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, afraid something is wrong.”
“I’ve not spent a lot of time waiting on people.” I never knew if my parents would make a game or awards ceremony. Dad always had to work and if Mom wasn’t at work, she couldn’t bring herself to leave the house, always coming up with an excuse. The few times they did show was a surprise. “What happened to you?” Something big had skewed her intolerance for a late call or arrival. I get that it’s rude, but her reaction is beyond that.
Jackie glances down at her beer but doesn’t say anything.
“What? Have you always been like this? The first screw up and you’re done with the person?”
She blinked up at me, pain in her eyes. What the hell was going on with her? As much as I like Jackie, I’m not sure I want to be with someone if I’ll always have to guess why or how I screwed up or if I’m going to get the cold shoulder if I’m a minute late for something. I don’t need that shit in my life and I sure as hell don’t need it in a relationship.
“When I was a kid, Mom and Dad came to everything me and my brothers were involved in. When I was ten, I was so excited because I had the lead in our school play.” She laughed. “Third through sixth graders, but to me it was a big deal.”
My stomach clenched. That’s the age she was when her parents died.
“I peeked before the show but couldn’t find them in the audience. I didn’t really let it bother me because sometimes they walked in just as something was starting. They always showed up. But this time they didn’t and then neither of them came to get me and my brothers from school. We sat outside on the front steps and waited, a teacher with us. The more worried Mrs. Smith got the more worried I did. One of them was always there to get us. Always. The office called the house and their jobs, but nobody knew where they were.”