by M. S. Parker
Like going straight to Jace's house and demanding to know where he got off being such a fucking jackass.
Not a good idea. Not a good idea.
I kept repeating that to myself as I waited for my friends to text back. I breathed a sigh of relief as first one, then the rest, responded. Everett was already home, and the girls would meet us at our favorite restaurant in a couple hours. This was why I loved them. I hadn't told them anything other than I needed them, and they said they'd be there.
When I got home, Everett didn't try to get anything out of me, but the grim expression on his face told me that I only needed to say the word and he'd do whatever I asked.
I changed into something nice but comfortable. Not sexy. I wasn't going out with my friends to dance and find someone to fuck. I'd never felt less like having sex than I did right now. All I wanted to do was vent to them and then let them distract me for the rest of the night. I still had to go to work tomorrow, and the day after that, which meant I needed to figure out how to deal with things, but for tonight, I needed the break.
"You look nice," Everett said as we headed downstairs.
"Thanks." I reached for his hand, appreciating the familiar feeling. "So do you."
He pulled me against his side with one arm and waved down a taxi with his free hand. "Whatever you need tonight, Sav. We've got you."
"Let me get this straight," Lorde said as she leaned forward, blue-green eyes flashing, "you suggest that the two of you reveal your identities before you have sex, but he says he wants to do it after, then blames you for not telling him who you were sooner?"
"And then he goes to your boss and complains, getting you removed from the story," Everett finished, the muscle in his jaw popping with each word.
"That about sums it up." I stabbed a piece of steak with my fork, then glared at it.
"Fuck him." Lei put her hand on my arm, squeezing gently. "He deserves to get some second-rate hack writing about him and his show."
I dropped my fork, wincing as it clattered against the plate. "It's for a great cause though. Clean drinking water." I sighed and press my fingers against my temples. "I can't really bring myself to wish for the show to crash and burn when that's what he's doing it for."
"I can," Lei said doggedly.
"So can I." Lorde's normally bubbly voice filled with an anger I wasn't used to seeing from her. "And I'll ask Robert to look into donating to charities that provide something similar, so you don't have to feel bad about wanting that jerk to fail."
I gave them both a watery smile. This was exactly why I called them. I was a strong, independent person, but that didn't mean it wasn't nice to have some support once in a while. Especially when it came to dealing with the extra sensitive shit I couldn't call home about.
I loved my parents and my brother, but there was no way in hell I'd talk to them about anything relating to sex, even the vanilla kind. They weren't naive enough to think that I wasn't having it, but we didn't talk about that sort of thing in my family. The sex talk my mom had given me when I was ten had been all flat-out biology and anatomy, and even that had embarrassed the hell out of her.
"Maybe you should start putting in applications elsewhere," Lorde suggested. "I mean, it's not like The Heart of Art is the Times or anything."
"I know." I dropped my face in my hands and groaned. "And it's not even that I really like the magazine, but it's one of the few art magazines still in print. It'd be nice to have that on my resumé before I go somewhere else."
"Everything's digital now. Why fight it?" Lei reached across the table and stole a crouton off my salad. "If I could work from home in my pajamas, I'd do it."
I nodded, but my heart wasn't in it. I knew she had a good point, and there was some appeal in working from home, but I always imagined myself working in an office where I was part of a group dedicated to bringing news to its readers in physical print that I could cut out and mail home to my parents. Like a female art critic version of Clark Kent.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. Maybe this was life's way of telling me that I wasn't as logical and pragmatic as I liked to think. That perhaps I had a more romanticized version of how I thought my life was supposed to go than I wanted to admit.
Dammit! I didn't want to be that person. The one who had this vision of how things were supposed to go and then freaked out when they didn't follow that plan. I was smarter than that. I didn't follow my heart. I followed my head.
And the one time I hadn't, the one time I'd let myself hope that I could have something more than just a night or two of hot sex, I'd been reminded none too kindly that wasn't the way things worked.
"Hey, we've got your back." Everett put his hand on the back of my neck and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'll go kick his ass if you want me to."
I was sorely tempted to take him up on it. If anyone could take on Jace, it would be Everett. But I didn't want to risk my best friend getting hurt. I told myself that I didn't care whether or not Everett hurt Jace, but I wasn't that good of a liar.
"No," I said reluctantly. "It's probably best for everyone if we go our separate ways."
"I think you're right." Lorde grasped my hand. "At least New York's a huge city, so the chances of the two of you running into each other again are slim."
I was about to agree with her, except at that moment, I heard a commotion coming from the front of the restaurant and turned to see four insanely attractive men being led to a nearby table. I recognized one as being Reb Union, a musician I really liked, and two I didn't know. The fourth, of course, was Jace.
Fate sucked.
"Dammit," I muttered, barely able to get the word out past the emotion clogging my throat.
"Sav?" Lorde's fingers tightened around mine. "What's wrong?"
It took far too much self-control not to look again as I said, "That's him. With the group that just arrived."
"Him who?" Lei asked. Her voice took on an edge. "That asshole? Where?"
"The group of really hot guys?" Lorde asked, her eyes wide. "With Reb Union?"
I nodded.
All three let out low whistles, and I couldn't blame them. Those were probably four of the best-looking men I'd ever seen, and I spent my life being friends with Everett.
"Which one is he?" Everett's voice was harder than I'd ever heard it. "Which of those guys is he, Savannah?"
"The blond," I mumbled as I stared down at my hands. The really hot one with the sexy tattoos who's great with his hands.
A muscled arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me over. I ducked my head against Everett's shoulder and let him hug me. Except he didn't let me go after a couple minutes like he usually did.
I raised my head. "What are you doing, Ev?"
He grinned, but there was a bit of steel behind his eyes. "I'm being a good boyfriend."
I started to roll my eyes, but when he raised an eyebrow, I realized he was serious. He knew how upset I was, how shitty I'd been treated, and he wasn't going to let Jace get away with thinking that he'd hurt me.
Everett pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I'm serious, Sav. Let me play the part and show that bastard that he lost the best thing that could've ever happened to him."
It was appealing, I had to admit. Flirt and cuddle with Everett so that Jace could see that what he'd done hadn't destroyed me, that I wouldn't be spending my time mooning over him like some lovestruck schoolgirl.
But was that really how I wanted to play things? I wasn't sure.
Nineteen
Jace
The girl who'd gotten Alix all tied up in knots had been gone for like two weeks, but he still looked like shit. I knew Erik was worried about his cousin, and any other time, I would've been right there with him. Hell, I knew I should've been with him and Reb when it came to trying to cheer up our friend, but another part of me wanted to side with Alix, to tell him it was okay to brood.
I'd been so sure I was in the right that when I stormed into Abel Updike's office, I'd been
all righteous anger. I hadn't thought twice about threatening that smarmy little man with a lawsuit if he didn't immediately take Savannah off the story and assign it to someone else. I didn't want her anywhere near me or my show.
Except when I'd stepped outside the office and she'd been there, all of the anger inside me had burned away, and I'd known that if I looked at her even once, I'd have been lost. Because deep down in my gut, I knew I hadn't been fair to her.
"Jace." Reb elbowed me right before I walked into a wall. "Pay attention."
"Sorry." I scrubbed my hand over my face. "Long day."
I needed tonight with my friends as much as Alix did. We'd chosen a restaurant over a club, but a beer – or three – was definitely in my future.
And then I heard a familiar laugh. For a moment, I froze, sure I had to have been mistaken. But then I saw her out of the corner of my eye and wondered how in the world I could have not seen that she and my masked woman were the same. I'd know her anywhere, no matter how painful it was.
And seeing a tall, attractive man with his arm around her was definitely more painful than it should have been.
I forced myself not to look directly at her, but I couldn't stop myself from sneaking a peek as we walked by. She was with two other women as well, but it was the guy who had my attention.
I didn't like him.
"You're not looking so hot," Alix said as he plopped down in the seat next to me.
"Right back at you," I snapped. "I'm in the mood for something harder than a beer. What about you?"
"Talisker," he ordered the moment the waiter appeared. "A lot of it."
"So..." Erik launched into some story that I didn't particularly care about, and wasn't nearly distracting enough.
She was laughing again. Dammit. I couldn't do this. I sighed, then leaned back so that I could actually see her.
That blond douche had his hand in her hair, raking his fingers through silky curls before tracing a finger along her jaw. It wasn't just that he was touching her that irked me. It was the fact that he seemed so relaxed about it. Like it was his fucking right.
It wasn't that I wanted to touch her, of course. Just that I didn't think she'd appreciate being manhandled in public.
I was only looking out for her.
Except that didn't explain why my hands kept clenching, or the churning in my stomach.
Or why I couldn't stop myself from looking over at her constantly, needing to see what she was doing, if she was smiling. That was what I didn't understand. How could she be smiling after what happened? I'd gone off on her, then sabotaged her career. Hell, I'd be seriously pissed if she done something like that to me. But she seemed to barely care. Did that mean she didn't care about her job? That didn't really mesh with the woman I met, but now I wondered if anything about her had been real at all.
"What the hell's up with you?" Reb asked as he motioned for the waiter to bring us another round. "You look constipated."
"Shut up, jackass." I punched his shoulder harder than I probably should have. "You're one to talk. You look like shit."
He gave me a one-shouldered shrug. "Yeah, well...bite me."
"Eloquent, Reb. Really."
As he picked up his now-full glass, he used his free hand to flip me off.
"Jay, sweetheart!"
Dammit. This seriously couldn't be happening.
I hadn't seen her at all in four years, and now I couldn't get away from her.
Just as I opened my mouth to tell her that I was busy with my friends, I saw something out of the corner of my eye that made me instantly do a one-eighty.
Savannah was watching.
I used my foot to push out the empty chair next to me and watched as Bianca artfully draped herself in it. As always, every move was made to draw as much attention as possible. I wasn't particularly interested, but I made myself look at her legs as she crossed them, at her breasts as she folded her arms in a way that pushed up her cleavage.
"Ready to admit how much you missed me?" The toe of her shoe ran up the inside of my calf.
I raised an eyebrow and ignored Reb muttering unflattering things under his breath. My friends hadn't liked Bianca any more than we'd liked Reb's ex. That was okay though. I wasn't inviting her to become a part of my life again, just letting her distract me. I didn't care much how she did it.
Before the main meal arrived, she was sitting as close as possible to me, her thigh pressed against mine, her arm across the back of my chair. Her fingers raked through the back of my hair, nails scratching my scalp hard enough to sting. I knew what she was trying to do, but it wasn't working. I could appreciate that she was beautiful, but I felt no attraction to her. Hell, my cock didn't even twitch when she put her lips against my ear.
Her words, however, made the rest of me sit up and pay attention.
"So, is that woman over there, the one you can't take your eyes off of, the reporter I'm supposed to watch out for?"
Twenty
Savannah
I wasn't really sure when I made the decision to take Everett up on his offer, only that it had been easy to lean into him, to let his touch linger. I didn't feel anything more than the same friendly, platonic warmth I'd always felt for him, but it'd been nice. So I'd let him flirt and joke and tease, and I'd gone along with it.
And then a pretty, curvy woman with perfect chocolate skin sauntered over to Jace and started some very un-platonic flirting.
It shouldn't have hurt to see him letting her run her hands over his neck and shoulders, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. The fact that she was practically sitting on his lap shouldn't have made me wonder when they'd met, if they'd already fucked, when they would fuck again.
And it shouldn't have made me angry enough to move from where I was sitting to Everett's lap.
He gave me a startled look but didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist. He put his face close to mine so that he could speak without anyone else hearing. "Sav, sweetheart, I don't think this is the sort of place where a lap dance is entirely appropriate."
I laughed and kissed his cheek before moving back to my own seat. Everett had gotten the message though and put his arm around me. I'd never thought of myself as a petty person, but I couldn't deny that I enjoyed knowing that if Jace looked over here, he'd see me with an attentive, smoking hot man...and not thinking about him at all.
And it worked, made me feel better.
Until I looked over and saw the woman with her hand in Jace's lap under the table.
"Excuse me," I mumbled as I jumped up. "I need to use the restroom."
I doubted my friends believed me, but I didn't wait around to explain. Heat flooded my face as I hurried toward the back of the restaurant. I'd been an idiot to think that this was a good idea. The moment I'd seen Jace come in, I should have told my friends I wanted to leave. I wasn't a woman who normally played games, and I shouldn't have tried to change that.
After I washed my hands, I splashed cold water on my face, then patted it dry, grateful that my make-up was waterproof. It'd be bad enough to go out there with flushed cheeks. Looking like a raccoon was completely unacceptable.
I automatically glanced up when I heard the door open, and then immediately wished I hadn't when I saw the dark-haired beauty who'd been hanging all over Jace. I turned my attention back to drying my hands and hoped she didn't catch the fact that I'd been staring for a few seconds before I caught myself.
Heels clicked on the tiles as she came closer, and I realized that things were about to get awkward as I tried to explain why I'd been looking at her. I took a slow breath, fixed what I hoped was an adequate smile on my face, and straightened. As I turned toward her, I opened my mouth to apologize, but only got out the first syllable before she interrupted.
"I know who you are."
Shit.
I had two choices, and neither one was appealing since they both required I stay where I was rather than run away. I could play dumb and pretend that I had no idea what she
was talking about, or I could own up to everything and hope that she wasn't Jace's girlfriend.
"I think it's tacky that you'd follow Jace here," she continued. "But he's too polite to tell you to fuck off, so I figured I'd do it for him."
My jaw dropped. That hadn't been the angle I thought she'd play. "It's not like–"
"Look," she cut me off again, "I get that he's probably the best sex you've ever had, but you should know that he only fucked you to make sure you gave him a good review."
I flinched as her words hit me, but before I could take them to heart, logic piped up. I squared my shoulders. "If that's true, why did he get me thrown off the story? Seems to me, if he only slept with me so I'd give him a good review, he would've wanted to stay in my good graces. Getting me demoted wasn't really the best way to do that."
The woman's eyes narrowed, but she didn't miss a beat. "Because I came back. Jace wanted me. He always wants me. And he didn't want to wait until the show was over to have me. I always come before his little hobby."
I felt a flicker of anger at her referring to Jace's art as a hobby, but then remembered how he treated me and pushed it aside. I still wasn't going to accept this woman's version of how things had gone though. I could accept that he'd been angry with me for not telling him as soon as I realized who he was, and I could even understand why he'd think I might spill his secrets, but seducing me for a good review then breaking things off in such a humiliating manner didn't seem to be Jace's style. I might have misjudged him, but I doubted I'd done so that much. He could have walked away without making it personal, and gotten both a good review and still been with this woman.
"Why'd he fuck me the second time, then?" I asked, crossing my arm over my chest. "If he was in such an all-fired hurry to get back to you, why didn't he just break things off and walk away the moment he saw me?"