by M. S. Parker
And that was the thought that finally broke through, giving me the strength I needed to push him away.
“You can’t do that.” I glared at him and tried to pretend that my hands weren’t shaking. “You can’t come in here and act like a kiss is going to make me forget what you did.”
The muscle in his jaw popped, and he looked at me intently. “What you saw and what I did are two different things.”
I wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that the real him was the man I’d seen with those kids and with the veterans. The man who, contrary to everything I’d ever believed, I’d slept with.
“I might’ve been a virgin until recently, but I’ve never been naïve.” I started to put my hands in my pockets and then remembered that these pants didn’t have any. “I know how guys like you think. It’s sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, right?”
“Paige–”
“And don’t try to tell me that you’re different,” I interrupted before he could say anything sweet or charming. “My mother spent more than six years on the road with one rock band or another, some big names, some not. And she fucked a lot of them. But that’s all it was. Never anything more. They didn’t treat her badly, but when she got pregnant with me, she didn’t even think about trying to figure out who the father was. She knew that, no matter who he was, he wasn’t responsible enough to take care of a kid, even if he wanted to be involved, and she wasn’t going to subject me to that.”
“That’s not fair, Paige, and you know it.” His eyes flashed. “You can’t hold me responsible for things other people did more than twenty years ago.”
“I’m not,” I snapped. “I’m just saying that I know how musicians like you are. You drink, and you fuck around, and you trash hotel rooms and do drugs–”
“I don’t do drugs,” he said through gritted teeth. “And yes, I did those other things, but that’s in the past.”
“A few hours ago isn’t far enough in the past to be using it that way.”
He shook his head, the anger on his face changing to desperation. “Will you just listen to me? Hear me out? Please.”
I clenched my jaw and nodded once. I’d listen to him, and then I’d tell him to leave.
“Chester called me and asked me to come over so we could talk about some business stuff,” Reb said. The words began pouring out of him. “When I got there, Mitzi was there, and all sorts of shit was there too. She was using, and Chester asked me if I wanted a drink, but I said no. I got a bottle of water, and when I went to the bathroom, I left it on the table. I didn’t think they’d do anything to it.”
I held up a hand. “Are you saying they roofied you?”
He shrugged. “I guess you could say that. Everything after that is fuzzy or completely blank. I only know you were there because when I woke up, Mitzi told me. She said that they’d given me some Valium.”
“Why would they do that?”
“She said Chester has some half-assed idea that people are going to think I’m going soft if you clean up my image too much, but I think he’s doing it because he knows I’m getting sick of his shit and he thinks he can use the story to make it so another manager wouldn’t want to take me on.”
What he was saying made a sort of sense, but I latched onto one word more than others. “What story?”
Reb flushed with anger and embarrassment, and ran all ten fingers through his hair. “He took pictures and video that makes it look like I was…well, that I was doing what you thought I was doing. He’s out selling it now.” He started to reach for me, then stopped himself. “Wait…can I ask why you were even in his office?”
Damn, the check. “My company received a bounced check for our services, and I was sent to get another one.”
He gaped at me, shaking his head. “My check bounced?” He ran another hand through his hair, this time pulling at the roots. “That can’t be possible…unless…dammit! Chester!”
I watched his face morph through a variety of emotions and he attempted to process all that his manager may or may not have done. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head again and met my eyes. “All of that can wait. What I want you to know is that I could have gone after Chester to stop him from publishing those lies. I want you, Paige, more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. You’re what matters to me.”
I shook my head. “I believe you, but wanting me isn’t enough for me to think this is a good idea. I shouldn’t have let anything happen in the first place.”
I believed what I was saying, but I wasn’t telling him the whole truth. I didn’t tell him how much it had hurt me to see him like that, and how I knew I needed to get out now before I got in too deep. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to survive having my heart broken by him when he inevitably moved on. Because him staying with me wasn’t something I could imagine. Not when he was keeping a part of himself from me.
“You need to go.” I couldn’t look at him.
“Please, Paige.” He moved closer, but I still didn’t raise my head. “Give me a chance to prove to you that I’m different. If I can’t, then I’ll leave, and I’ll never bother you again.”
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted to try, to see if we could make things work. But if I was going to take a risk, he needed to do the same.
Twenty-Five
Reb
She wasn’t looking at me, and she hadn’t answered me yet, but she also hadn’t kicked me out…or kicked me in the nuts, either. She said she believed me, which meant she was hesitating either because she really thought I was going to treat her the way those men had treated her mother. Or she didn’t want me the way I wanted her, and this was her way of trying to get out of having to tell me.
My confidence had been thrown by what happened with Mitzi, but my night with Paige had shown me that the electricity between us was real. I wasn’t imagining this connection. I just needed to get her to acknowledge it.
I took a step toward her, the downcast eyes and downturned head speaking to every one of my instincts as a Dom.
“Look at me.”
I hadn’t heard that command in my voice in a while, and a part of me worried that it’d make her balk. Instead, she raised her head. Her eyes were wide, and when her lips parted, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down to kiss her again.
Only to find myself stopped by a hand on my chest.
“You stink.”
The blunt statement startled a laugh out of me. “What?”
“You stink,” she repeated, giving me a stern look. “If you want to get near me ever again, you need to clean up.”
I grinned, some of the tension easing. She wasn’t saying no. “Are you offering me the use of your shower?”
The saucy turn of her lips sent the blood rushing to my cock.
“If you don’t mind smelling like me.”
I took a step back because it was either that or drag her into the shower with me, which I was still trying to tell myself was a bad idea. Her shower wasn’t nearly big enough for the things I wanted to do to her.
“Promise you’ll be here when I get out.” I didn’t make it a request, and it felt so damn good to be giving orders again. So much so that I added another one. “Naked.”
A strange expression crossed her face, like she was coming to a decision on something. I only hoped it was a good one.
“I’ll give you a chance to prove you’re different,” she said, “but only if you’re honest about what you want.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t be with someone who feels like they have to hide who they are.” Her voice was firm, but not harsh. “I don’t mean you have to take out a billboard or something, but if you really want to have a relationship with me, you have to be honest about who you are and what you want.”
“I–” My mouth snapped closed. A sick feeling settled in my stomach. “I don’t need it.”
She gave me a soft smile. “You want to know why it was so easy for me to belie
ve that you were the same as all the men my mom had warned me about?”
“Because I’m a pervert.” I repeated Mitzi’s accusation with all the bitterness I felt. “Not really a news flash, Paige.”
“No.”
I blinked at the force she put into that single word.
“I went to that club with you, and I never once said anything there was perverted about what I saw. Different, yes. Shocking, okay, I’ll give you that. But why would you think I’d…” She gave me a hard look. “Is that why things were so…vanilla when we had sex?”
The knot in my stomach tightened. “I thought it was good for you. I mean, you came…right?”
She put her hand on my arm. “Yes, Reb. It was better than I’d ever thought my first time would be. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that after the things I saw at Gilded Cage, I really thought you would’ve wanted to do…you know…” A blush stained her cheeks.
I shook my head, hands curling into fists. “No. I learned what happens when I force my…preferences on someone. I won’t do that to you.”
She stared at me for a moment, then her eyes narrowed. “That bitch.”
Okay, not what I expected.
“That’s what Mitzi said you did to her.”
Paige was furious, but not with me.
“I know you, Reb, and you’d never force yourself on someone. If she would’ve said no, you would’ve listened.”
“Of course I would’ve listened.”
“She’s full of shit,” Paige insisted. Her expression became sly. “Besides, how am I going to learn if you won’t teach me?”
“Teach you?”
She nodded, heat smoldering in her eyes. “I’m willing to risk it if you are, but you have to put it all on the line too.”
Twenty-Six
Paige
My stomach was in knots and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Reb had been in my shower for ten minutes, and I doubted he’d be much longer. At least, I hoped he wouldn’t be. I was starting to have doubts about my decision. Not the one to give Reb a second chance, but the one where I was going to have sex with him when he got out of the shower.
Kinky sex.
Romance wasn’t my favorite genre, but I’d read a few over the years, including some that had a little S&M in them. Reading about it, however, and actually doing it were two completely different things. Hell, seeing it live and doing it myself were worlds apart.
“I thought I gave you clear instructions about how you were supposed to wait for me.”
I froze. I’d been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard the shower stop or the bathroom door open, and now, my brain was scrambling to make sense of what Reb was saying.
“Turn around, Paige.”
It was a command, not a request, but the sort of demand I heard wasn’t some sort of misogynistic power-trip. I’d heard that same authoritative note in the woman’s voice at Gilded Cage when she’d ordered her men around. It was the voice of a Dominant, regardless of gender.
I turned to face him, heat flooding my body as I saw he wore only a towel around his waist. I wasn’t so noble that I didn’t feel a thrill at the realization that this gorgeous man wanted me.
“Did I, or did I not, say that I wanted you naked when I got out of the shower?”
The unadulterated desire shining in his eyes made my mouth dry and my pussy wet.
“Paige.” My name was a warning.
“Yes.” The word was little more than a whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Yes, you did.”
“Then why aren’t you naked?”
The question was casual, almost as if he’d been asking why I didn’t have an umbrella when it was raining. Then he tossed his towel toward my hamper and, even though I’d seen him naked before, I completely lost the ability to think clearly.
I suddenly became aware that Reb was talking to me. I jerked my head up, cheeks flaming.
“I suppose I’ll give you a pass for not listening that time,” he said with an amused smile. “But you still haven’t done as you were told.”
I kept my eyes on him as I pulled my shirt over my head. I folded it and put it on the dresser, then took off my pants and did the same.
“Good girl.” He didn’t look away as he walked toward me, his hand dropping to his cock. “Now, face the bed and bend over.”
“What?”
He stopped less than a foot away from me. “You said you wanted me to be honest about the things that I want.”
I nodded. “I do.”
He reached out and took a lock of hair between his fingers. “You know a bit about BDSM. Do you know what happens when a sub disobeys their Dom?”
I shivered, but it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. “They get punished.”
He nodded. “They get punished. And I’m a Dom, Paige. What does that make you?”
I understood now what he was doing. Part of this was sexual, but part of it was making sure that I truly knew what I was getting into.
“I’m the sub.”
He moved a few inches closer, and I could smell my shampoo and soap. It smelled better on him.
“Whose sub, Paige? Whose sub are you?”
I swallowed hard. “Yours.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. “And what did you do?”
The words came easier than I’d expected. “I disobeyed.”
He nodded. “Yes, you did.” After a pause, he added, “What should I do about that?”
My mind immediately flashed back to what I’d seen at the club. If I gave the answer I knew he wanted, I didn’t know exactly what he was going to do, and the possibilities weren’t equally appealing. Which meant I needed to trust him.
“Punish me,” I whispered.
For a moment, he stared at me, as if he couldn’t believe I’d actually said it, and then he pulled me to him, skin against skin as our mouths crashed together. I moaned as he ravaged my mouth, his fingers digging into the small of my back, into my neck. I thought I’d known how powerful he was before, but it was nothing compared to the strength I felt in his body now.
By the time he finally broke the kiss, it was all I could do not to jump him right then and there. My entire body ached. His cock was hard and hot against my stomach, leaving a trail of pre-cum on my skin as he moved a few inches back. His eyes dropped, and he used his thumb to rub the salty liquid into my skin.
“I like the idea of you wearing my cum.” His hand moved up to my breast, and he squeezed hard enough to make me catch my breath, but not quite hard enough to actually hurt. “But not tonight.”
He took a full step back and raised an eyebrow. I almost asked him what he wanted, but then I remembered. I turned around, took a slow breath, and then bent over. I placed my hands flat on the blanket…and waited.
“Each Dom has their own way of doling out punishments,” he said. “Even my friends and I don’t come at things the same way.”
He was staying just out of my line of sight, and I had no doubt he was doing it intentionally. Using anticipation to ramp up the tension.
“I believe in punishments growing in time and intensity, so for this first offense, I’ll be using my hand.”
I flinched as he touched me, but his palm only rested against the top of my ass.
“You need a safe word.”
His tone had changed, and I immediately felt guilty for flinching. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s usually not a good safe word.”
“For flinching,” I clarified. “It wasn’t fear, just nerves.” I risked a look over my shoulder. “I trust you.”
The tension on his face eased. “Thank you.”
“Bananas.”
He gave me a puzzled look.
“My safe word. Bananas.”
He nodded, amusement dancing in his eyes. “All right then. Let’s begin.”
I nodded and faced front again. The next time his hand came down, it wasn’t a touch. His palm hit my ass with a crac
king sound, and I gasped. More blows came, one right after the other, alternating from one side to the other until my ass was burning. The pain wasn’t unbearable, more like a sunburn sort of sensitivity and sting, but it was definitely intense.
“All done.” His voice was almost gentle as he ran his hand up my spine. “Now, my Paige, what will you do when I give you an order?”
“Obey.” I closed my eyes and concentrated on his touch. The heat of his hand, so different from the more pleasant feeling a little farther south.
“Good answer.” His hands settled on my hips, thumbs stroking my skin. “I didn’t bring any condoms with me tonight.”
This was about more than him just checking to make sure I was okay with us not using a condom. This was about whether or not I really did trust him. If I thought he was lying and he’d had sex with Mitzi, I wouldn’t want him inside me bare.
“I don’t want anything between us…fuck!” The curse burst out of me as he buried himself deep with one stroke. I wasn’t even close to use to this, but I sure as hell didn’t want him to stop.
He wound his hand in my hair, using it to leverage me as he drove into me with one thrust after another. Each one drove another cry from my lips even as the air escaped my lungs. I curled my fingers into fists, the comforter keeping my nails from my palms.
“I’m going to fuck you in front of a mirror sometime,” Reb broke the silence. “I want to see every expression on your face when I take you from behind.”
His free hand moved underneath me, pinching my nipple between finger and thumb hard enough to send a jolt of pain through me. He held on to my sensitive flesh, even as my breasts moved with the force of his thrusts, causing new little ripples of pain with each stroke.
“I love these tits. Perfect nipples for clamps.” His hand moved down between my legs, fingers finding my clit. “We’ll try those out before we move on to putting one on this pretty little thing.”