Love, Always and Forever

by Alexis Morgan

  “Jack, I need Dad’s truck, and I need it now.”

  Then, instead of letting his brother launch into a full-blown inquisition, he added, “I have to go pick up Amy and her bike. It won’t fit in my SUV.”

  None of that was a lie even if it wasn’t the complete truth. Jack was smart enough to figure that much out. He gave Mikhail the address where he was working and then made a demand of his own. Mikhail conceded the point without a fight.

  “I’ll be there in ten. And, yes, I’ll tell you what the hell is going on first chance I get.”

  As he pulled out of his driveway, he dialed the restaurant’s number. The big man picked up on the second ring. “It’s me, Mikhail. If my friend Amy isn’t already there, she will be soon. Tell her to sit tight. Give her whatever she wants, and I’ll take care of the bill when I get there.”

  His friend snorted. “Like I’m worried about that. Anything else you want me to tell her?”

  “No, just that I’m coming, and I’ll be alone. See you soon.”

  He disconnected the call and concentrated on his driving. Right now the most important thing was getting to Amy as fast as possible and making sure she was all right. Other than that, it was anyone’s guess how this all would play out.

  Not for the first time he wished that Joe the man, not just his truck, was waiting to take him to Amy. His father had had a special talent for seeing right through all the bullshit to the heart of the matter. With his help, maybe Mikhail wouldn’t fuck this up completely.

  “Dad, if you’re listening, I could use some advice about now.”

  Just as he expected, nothing but silence. He did the only thing he could—he kept driving and hoped like hell he figured out what he’d say before he got there.

  Chapter 21

  Adrenaline and temper kept Amy moving right up until she stepped foot inside the barbecue joint. It was as if crossing that threshold stripped her of her last ounce of energy, leaving her stranded near the entrance and unable to figure out where to go next.

  Tom had just finished ringing up a to-go order at the counter when he spotted her. He started to smile, but his expression changed to one of concern as he cut straight across the room to where she stood.

  “Amy, come on in. I have a table saved for you in the other room.” His big hand settled on her shoulder as he guided her toward a door in the corner. “Mikhail called to tell me you were on your way. He’ll be along soon.”

  “Good. That’s good.”

  She shivered. Even in the summer, the air in the foothills of the Cascades could be too chilly to ride without a jacket. Regardless, it was a relief to know he’d picked up on her hint about where she was headed. It might have been smarter to simply circle the neighborhood until her brothers gave up and headed back home. She could’ve also gone to Marlene’s house, but all she’d been able to think about was putting as much distance as possible between herself and her brothers.

  The room he led her into held only two tables, both currently vacant. Good. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold herself together. Tom pulled out a chair for her. “Have a seat, and I’ll go get you a drink and something to munch on while you wait for Mikhail. What would you like?”

  It hadn’t dawned on her until that moment that she’d left home with only her keys in hand. No purse. No phone. No wallet, which meant no money.

  She blinked hard against the threat of tears. “I’m sorry, but I can’t pay for it.”

  His dark eyes were sympathetic. “Not a problem. I’m guessing Mikhail failed to mention you now qualify for our friends and family discount, which today happens to be one hundred percent.”

  “But—”

  Once again, his big hand lightly touched her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Amy. Besides, if Mikhail isn’t treating you right, I can always make up the difference by charging him double. Now, do you want a soft drink, a beer, or tea?”

  She managed a small laugh. “A cup of tea sounds really good about now.”

  “I’ll bring it right out along with a serving of my wife’s excellent blueberry crisp. You can order a meal once Mikhail arrives, but today seems like a good day to enjoy dessert first.”

  “You know, if you didn’t already have a wife, I’d be down on my knee proposing right now.”

  It was funny seeing a man of his size blush. “Don’t tell Maggie, but I’d be tempted to accept. Although I suspect Mikhail might have something to say about that.”

  He mumbled something under his breath that sounded like “with his fists.”

  After patting her shoulder one last time, he disappeared back into the restaurant, leaving her alone with her thoughts, not the best of company right now. She’d known even before she’d left her hometown behind that her pretense of being completely normal might not last. But right now she hated her brothers for their callous disregard for her privacy. They had no right to sit in judgment on her decisions, and she might not ever forgive them if they’d ruined what she had with Mikhail. She had no illusions about what was coming next. No matter what assurances her doctors had given her, why would any man want to share his future with a woman who might not have one?

  She slammed her fist down on the table hard enough to knock over the salt and pepper shakers. Damn, damn, double damn!

  God, she hated this feeling of helplessness, something she’d tried so hard to put behind her. Was it too much to ask to live a normal life? All she wanted was what everyone else had—to live through each day not like it was her last but only the next in a long lifetime of them. Or, barring that, to be able to pretend that was the case.

  Tom was back with her tea and her before-dinner dessert. “The blueberry crisp is still warm. I hope you like it with ice cream.”

  “It looks delicious.”

  “I brought you a selection of different teas, but my wife’s favorite is that spice one. She says she finds it calming on days she has to deal with an idiot.” He winked as he set a small bowl of teabags on the table. “She never mentions any specific names, but I suspect she means me.”

  Amy took his advice. “I hope it works for me, too. I’ve had it up to here with my own idiots today.”

  “Do you need me to have a talk with Mikhail when he gets here?” He held up one of his massive fists. “Because I will. And if that doesn’t work, I can always sic my wife on him. Maggie might be just a little bit of a thing, but she’ll put the fear of God in him just like she does me when I get out of line. The lady’s got a temper, that’s for sure.”

  It was hard not to laugh at the image of such a big man cowering in front of a small woman. Amy dipped the teabag in the heavy mug. “Thanks for the offer, but Mikhail isn’t the idiot. That honor goes to two of my brothers. I’m a little worried about him, though. I took off and left him to deal with them. Things were pretty tense by then.”

  “Don’t you worry about Mikhail. He’s always had a talent for landing on his feet. Besides, if things had gone badly, he would’ve asked me to make sure you got home safely rather than coming after you himself.”

  His words comforted her. “Then I’ll wait here for him.”

  “You do that, but come get me if you need anything else before he gets here.”

  “I’ll be fine. I know you have other customers to take care of.” She mustered up a small smile. “Ones who don’t get the friends and family discount.”

  Tom laughed loud and long. “You know, I suspect you and my wife would really hit it off, but I’m not sure the world is ready for the mischief the two of you might get into together. Now, eat your dessert and enjoy that tea. Your guy will be here soon enough.”

  Relief that Mikhail was all right tasted as sweet as the blueberry crisp. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was, but she wolfed down the crisp and ice cream in record time. At least it took the edge off, allowing her to savor the tea. The combination of spices with a hint of citrus was soothing.

  She made a second cup, content for the moment to simply hold the mug and abs
orb its heat. Too bad the warmth did little to slow the whirlwind of questions spinning in her mind.

  How much had her brothers told Mikhail?

  What would her parents do when they found out she had a man in her life for the first time? Especially one she’d chosen to keep secret?

  And if Mikhail now knew about her past, would he see it as a betrayal that she hadn’t told him herself? Could he understand why she found it hard to talk about and forgive her?

  And even if he did, how could she bear it if he started acting like her family did? She didn’t want another person—especially Mikhail—looking at her as if she were a piece of broken china that had been glued back together. Whole again, but not really. Always fragile, never strong.

  A shadow fell over her table. The time for wondering was over. Bracing herself for whatever she might see reflected in her lover’s handsome face, she set the mug down and turned to face Mikhail.

  One look at the pain in his pale blue eyes and the tension that gave his handsome face all those hard edges, she said the only thing she could. “I’m sorry. I should have told you myself.”

  Mikhail’s silence was deafening.

  —

  Damn straight she should’ve told him, but he bit back the need to rail at her. Only a total bastard would lash out a woman who looked as if she’d just lost her last friend on earth. The jury was still out on that; they had some serious talking to do.

  He dropped down into the seat next to her. Close enough so that they could speak quietly, but far enough away that he wouldn’t accidentally brush against her no matter how much he wanted to hold her close. “I ordered each of us a barbecued brisket sandwich, slaw, and fries. I hope that’s okay.”

  She pointed toward an empty plate smeared with what looked like blueberries and half a scoop of melted ice cream. “Your friend made me eat a huge helping of his wife’s blueberry crisp, so you can have part of my dinner, too.”

  “Not a problem.”

  Although he wasn’t all that hungry himself; he was too full of words and accusations to eat much. They could always pack up the leftovers to take home with them. For now, he tried to break through the logjam of questions he needed answered. Maybe he should start off with something simple and nonconfrontational.

  “How was your ride up here?”

  She stared down at her mug as if it were the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen. “Pretty breezy. In my hurry to leave, I didn’t think to bring my jacket or anything else, for that matter.”

  Which reminded him. He held up her pack. “I brought this in case you needed something in it.”

  “Thanks.” She took it from him but dropped it on the floor next to her chair without even opening it. “I can’t believe I took off so fast that I forgot everything like that.”

  “You had your reasons.”

  All she’d been thinking about was getting the hell away from her brothers, not practical things like cellphones and jackets. In fact, she definitely looked cold. This room wasn’t particularly chilly, but she’d spent a long time riding with no protection from the wind except for that thin T-shirt. Without bothering to ask first, he stripped off his flannel shirt and settled it over her shoulders. She immediately slid her arms into the too-long sleeves and rolled them up. Damn, he should have thought to grab her something warm to put on before leaving her house. Of course, once they left the restaurant, he could always crank up the heat in the truck. The pickup might be old, but he and his brothers made sure everything in it was in top condition, just like Joe had taught them.

  She smiled her thanks. Maybe she was going to say something, because she opened her mouth as if to speak but closed it again when Tom walked in carrying a tray loaded down with their sandwiches. The rich smell of homemade barbecue sauce and fire-roasted meat filled the small room.

  After setting a heaping plate down in front of each of them, he took a step back. “I’m going to close the door to this room. Feel free to hang out in here as long as you want.”

  “Thanks, I owe you.”

  The big man offered Amy a friendly smile, one that hardened a bit when he turned his gaze in Mikhail’s direction. “I’ll be right out there if you need me, Amy.”

  After their host left the room, Mikhail glared at the closed door. “Okay, what the hell was that supposed to mean?”

  Amy patted his arm. “He could tell I was upset when I got here, and I think he’s just feeling a bit protective. I already told him you weren’t the idiot who upset me.”

  “Good to know.”

  Damn, that came out sounding snarkier than he’d meant it to. He really was relieved to know that Amy had been upset with her brothers, not him. Of course, that might change any minute now.

  “Eat up while it’s hot. Remember, he doesn’t take it kindly if people don’t show his food the proper respect.”

  Besides, as long as they were busy eating, their friendship with those all-important benefits remained intact. Unfortunately, the peace didn’t last long. After only a few bites, Amy pushed her plate away and repeated what she’d said when he first walked in. “I should have told you.”

  Just that fast his own sandwich tasted like sawdust. He reluctantly gave credit where it was due. “You did tell me they were surgical scars.”

  “But I didn’t tell you enough. Not what they really meant.”

  “You sure as hell didn’t.”

  Although she winced at the flash of anger in his words, Amy held her gaze steadily on his, a definite show of strength on her part. He’d known grown men who had trouble doing that whenever Mikhail unleashed his temper. “I understand why you didn’t, at least at first, but once we started—”

  He shut his mouth, not sure how to continue. Saying they’d fucked was too crude, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit they’d made love, with all that might mean. Even though it was true, right now his emotions were too raw to go there.

  He tried again. “But once we erased that effing line, before I cared so much, I should have known all the facts, not to mention the risks. I deserved that much honesty from you.”

  “Yeah, you did.” She seemed to shrink in on herself or maybe it was his oversized shirt that had her looking so small. “So without knowing how much my brothers actually told you, let me say this.”

  Her dark eyes turned rock hard and her hands curled into white-knuckled fists. “I was born with a severe heart valve defect that left me existing on the edge of disaster every fucking day of my life. Illnesses that were routine for other kids often turned into major issues for me.”

  He winced when she dropped the F-bomb, not that he was offended. She rarely ever cursed and never said anything that strong, so it was a clear indicator of how deep her anger was running right now.

  After a deep breath, she continued. “Which meant my entire family also lived right there on the edge with me. Everyone’s life centered around mine. I can’t tell you how many special occasions, holidays, and ballgames my parents missed because I was in the emergency room.”

  He handed her a napkin to wipe away the tears streaming down her face. After scrubbing her cheeks dry, she continued. “I was so happy when the doctors came up with a new fix for the problem. Not just for my sake, but for my family’s as well. I thought finally they could all live normal lives and go about their business without having to worry about me all the time.”

  “But that’s not what happened.”

  She picked up a fry and drew circles in the puddle of ketchup on her plate. “Not even close. If anything, it’s gotten worse even after I recuperated from the surgery. My folks couldn’t stand the thought of me being out on my own, so I continued to live at home even though I could easily afford to get my own place. I kept hoping they’d adjust to the idea that I was no longer that sickly kid anymore.”

  By this point both of them had given up any pretense of eating. He shoved his plate to the side and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Let me guess. At least one of your parents s
tayed home with you as much as possible. If they both had to be gone, then one of your brothers would drop by on some lame pretense.”

  She dropped the fry on her plate. “Pretty much. I felt trapped and resentful. It got to the point that one time I waited until my folks left and took off for the library to work there. You know, just to have a little time to myself. I found a spot in a back corner, silenced my phone, and listened to music with earbuds. It was so nice to work without any of the usual distractions and with no one hovering nearby.”

  He had a fair idea of what happened next but asked anyway. “How upset were they when you got home?”

  “Crazy furious.”

  “You could’ve left them a note where you’d be.”

  He half expected her to snap his head off for pointing out the obvious, but instead, she sighed. “Yes, I could have, which was exactly what my parents hastened to point out as soon as I got home. We had an awful fight. Yeah, I was inconsiderate, but they acted as if I was a teenager who’d snuck out to go to a kegger. I swear it was like they wanted to ground me or something else equally stupid.”

  Amy sighed again. “Looking back, it was my own pathetic attempt to prove I was an independent adult and entitled to go where I wanted, whenever I wanted, and without having to ask permission.

  “If it had just been the one time, I might have let it go, but it wasn’t.” She took a long sip of her tea. “Realizing the situation wasn’t going to change, I contacted a real estate agent to start looking for a house. A few years ago, my brothers and I each inherited some money from a great aunt, which I’d never touched. It was enough for the down payment and the basics to set up housekeeping with enough left over for a rainy-day fund. Between that and my business, I’m more than capable of supporting myself.”

  “I take it you didn’t involve your parents or brothers in your decision.”

  “Heck no!” Amy’s chin came up in a show of defiance, which really wasn’t aimed at him. “Knowing how they’d react, I waited until the purchase was a done deal before I told anyone I was not just moving out but also moving away. Needless to say, they didn’t take it well. Chad did help by driving the moving truck I’d rented. My folks wanted to invite themselves along to help, but I wouldn’t let them.”