by Taryn Quinn
“Don’t,” I gritted out when she moved to cover herself with her arm, already self-conscious. “Don’t hide.”
Her throat bobbled, but she let her arm drop. “I’m not sure why you’re doing this. Or why I’m doing it.” She stepped back, already reaching for the knob on the bathroom door. “You can just use it now. I’ll use it later.”
“You don’t have to worry that I’m getting the wrong idea. I’m not. We’re just two friends in a Jacuzzi. Trying to be friends,” I amended. “Not sure we’ll get there easily.”
“I like the touching-you part of friendship.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, I don’t get hugs much anymore. My parents are traveling, and Ally is the size of a beluga, and well, she hugs her husband, not me. I guess I’m just a tactile person and—”
“C’mon, get in.” I motioned to the tub. “Friends share hugs. Friends hold each other.”
“Yeah, it’s the dick thing kind of holding me back.”
“Pardon?”
She bit her lip. “You were hard last week. In the break room. And I kind of figured it was because you might be one of those guys who could get aroused at anything, and I wrote it off. But now you’re giving me that look again, and if I’m hugging you…”
“I’ll be seized by a wave of uncontrollable lust and will insist on having you, right here, right now.” My tone was dry. “Let me assure you, I am in full control of my impulses. Nothing will happen other than a friendly embrace.”
“Okay.” She took another step forward and stopped. “This isn’t weird? I mean, even hugs feel like crossing a line somehow. Plus, it seems harder for us to be friendly toward each other than it is for other people.”
Understatement of a lifetime. She consternated me almost as much as she intrigued me, and I was positive the reverse was also true—possibly without the intrigue.
Though she certainly seemed curious now.
“We’re in Vegas, right?”
She nodded.
“And on vacation. So, what happens on vacation in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
“When you put it that way, I’m in.” She crossed the rest of the way to the oversized hot tub and stepped in, pausing to let out a breath. “Whoa, that’s warm.”
“It is.”
She swallowed, eyeing me up and down. “You have on boxers?”
“Yes. Figured it was easier than grabbing my trunks. Okay?”
“Sure. Same thing, pretty much.” She sucked in a breath and slipped into the water, submerging all the way up to her neck in a surprisingly graceful slide. “That feels so good.” She closed her eyes and gripped the sides of the tub, her legs rubbing along mine before she moved them slightly away. “Bubbles are the best.”
“They are. We should’ve ordered you some champagne before we got in here.”
“Why? What are we celebrating?”
“Lots of things. You took your first cross-country flight today. You’re on vacation in Vegas. First stay in a hotel. You have probably never had champagne either.”
“Busted.” She lifted her voice over the bubbling of the tub. “But I’m not much of a drinker.”
“Vacation,” I reminded her, flicking my fingers over the back of her hand on the side of the Jacuzzi. Her eyes opened warily, but no fear resided in their depths. She might’ve been initially uneasy at getting in there with me, but her anxiety was already disappearing. “You’re allowed to do things outside your comfort zone. Even encouraged to.”
“The last time I drank more than a glass or two of anything was, hmm, probably at my parents’ going-away party after they sold the B and B.”
The mention of the B and B made me draw my hand back into the water. It reminded me of what she’d lost, and how much the business had meant to her. Easing away was my kneejerk response to anything emotional.
She frowned, as if she was surprised I’d stopped touching her. I definitely hadn’t wanted to.
And that was dangerous all the way around, friends or not.
“Did you get loaded?”
She smiled at that, idly itching her calf with the opposite foot. “No. A little tipsy, but I stopped after three. I’ve never been all the way drunk.”
“Not even at college? How is that possible?”
“Some of us went to school to study, you know,” she teased.
“I do know, actually. I wasn’t a partier either, not in prep school and not in college. And I didn’t have sex until I was nineteen, so before you think I was out there spreading my seed far and wide…not so much.”
Why had I shared that with her? It wasn’t relevant at all. Yet she leaned forward, her heavy breasts bobbing slightly out of the water. Big, taut nipples made my throat go dry, and much as I tried to keep my gaze above her neck, I simply could not.
“See, that’s the look.”
“Hmm?”
“That look, right there. The one where you get all wolfish.” Her teeth grazed her plump lower lip and my cock twitched. It was a miracle it didn’t pop over my damn waistband. “You really are attracted to me,” she said after a moment, almost to herself. “Me, specifically, not just because you’re horny.”
The thought that it could be otherwise was so ludicrous that I laughed. And kept right on laughing as she stared at me, until that lip she’d been tormenting trembled and she glanced away, hiding her face from my view.
“Sage. Look at me.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. It matters very much why a beautiful woman like yourself needs to constantly search for validation.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“I’m not completely without self-confidence. It’s just, if you have enough near misses, you start thinking you’re the problem. Especially if the guy you’ve told yourself will be the one can’t even get it up when you’re on top of him.”
I nearly laughed again, but I swallowed it down. One more careless reaction like that would send her fleeing from me, and I didn’t know if she’d ever peel open her shell again after this vacation.
Carefully, I inched forward in the tub, slowing but not stopping as she looked back at me, pupils wide. My legs slid against the outside of hers as I moved as close as I could without completely invading her personal space.
“Any man who wouldn’t treasure being intimate with you is a goddamn idiot.”
She shut her eyes for an instant, and I was deathly afraid she was crying. But when she opened them again, they were clear and dry. “You of all people know I have my flaws.”
“You sure do.”
“Hey, making me feel better or what?”
My lips twitched. “As do I. But you’re a gorgeous woman, and you’re trusting and sweet and probably too good for any asshole who ever tried to touch you.” I gripped the sides of the hot tub to keep from reaching for her. Proving my asshole status for sure.
Not yet. Let her come to you, in her own time. Or maybe not at all.
“You swear when you’re turned on,” she murmured, her breath hitching. That small, involuntary sound was enough all on its own to make my body strain toward hers.
That she was already learning my tells? Well, that was just the bonus round.
Before I could figure out an appropriate response to that, she slid forward in the tub, slipping her legs over mine until our chests and our centers were far too close. Loosely, she linked her arms around my neck, testing my resolve to keep my eyes directly on hers.
“You give good hugs.”
I took that for an invitation and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in so that she was practically straddling my lap. But I didn’t grind into her or line up our mouths or any of that. I just drew her in and inhaled the fresh scent of her hair. Then she twined herself around me so trustingly, as if we’d never fought about anything, and I was a man she could lean on rather than despise.
She sighed, so softly I almost missed it. Her forehead rested against mine a
nd we just breathed together in the steamy, fragrant air.
“I make bad choices,” she said into the silence. “I pick emotionally unavailable men.”
The term would’ve made me roll my eyes any other time. Not now. Because as awful as it was, and as much as I didn’t want her to suffer any pain ever, I couldn’t help owing a debt of gratitude to those faceless, nameless men.
Thanks to them, this woman was in my arms.
“Like you,” she added after a moment. “If I were to pick you—which I’m not, by the way, not at all—but if I were to, you’re unavailable.”
“Doesn’t seem like it right now, seeing as you’re almost in my lap.”
Her mouth curved. “You know what I mean. You don’t want a relationship. You just want sex.” She wet her lips and shifted higher on my legs, gazing down at me with her face framed by the sexy blond tendrils of hair that had escaped her ponytail. “I agree. I’ve decided relationships aren’t for me. They’re too har—” She swallowed, casting a quick look between us. “Difficult.”
“Putting a different name on something doesn’t change the reality of what you want.” Saying it was worse than I expected. It meant I had to acknowledge her truth and abide by it.
More than anything, I didn’t want to be another man who hurt her. Even unintentionally.
“No, it means that I want both things—sex and love, and if one doesn’t come with the other, well, believe me, I’m okay with the one for now. Someday, I’ll find my big love.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to, since Sage was good at filling in all the awkward silences.
“Ally found hers years ago. That’s why she was a virgin, why she saved herself for Seth though she didn’t fully realize that’s what she was doing.”
“Can we not talk about my sister-in-law’s virginity? Unless your goal is to kill my erection, and if so, aim achieved.”
Her big green eyes sparkled as she circled her bottom on my lap, just enough to have me stifling a curse. “Not even close.”
“Vixen.”
But her gaze had taken on that faraway look again. “My parents too. My daddy always said the first time he saw my mama, he knew she was the one for him. They met in grade school. Isn’t that romantic?”
“Your mama looks just like you, so I believe it.”
Sage blinked and tilted her head, considering me in a way that made my skin prickle. “You can be sweet. I see now why you get so many women to go to bed with you. I have to admit, I didn’t understand the appeal before.”
There was no stopping my laughter this time. “Say exactly what you mean, why don’t you?”
“Did you sleep with Ursula last night?”
I hadn’t been expecting that one. “You knew about our date?”
“Of course. You know how big Crescent Cove is. And you’re a mover and a shaker.”
Lord, this woman. But for some reason, I was inexplicably glad I could tell her that I’d spent last night alone.
Not because I wanted to influence her or convince her that I was a decent guy, one like Seth.
Worthy of being a big-time love.
Impossible. Me? I was the kind of man a woman mentioned in passing in her diary.
Skilled lover. Made a mean balsamic salmon. Didn’t call after second date.
“No, I didn’t sleep with her. We canceled our date.” I kept my gaze trained on hers. “We’ve actually never slept together.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“No way.”
I had to chuckle. “No, we have not. Trust me. I was there.”
“But she’s beautiful. Poised.” She sighed wistfully. “She has game.”
“Xbox?”
Now it was her turn to laugh. “Guess your knowledge of pop culture isn’t as complete as you believe. No, silly. I mean, she has skills. Game at attracting the opposite sex. Talent at keeping them interested.”
“Just in case you’ve forgotten, you’re sitting on a man’s lap right now.” I glanced down between us. “And I can verify he’s very interested. Painfully so.”
“You aren’t shy. You’ve never asked me out.”
“You haven’t asked me either.”
She sniffed. “That’s usually the man’s job.” She sighed again. “Especially if the woman is a big ol’ coward. Besides, we fight all the time.”
“So? Fighting is foreplay.”
“Is it?” She cocked her head again. “Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all this time?”
“Listen to me. You have done nothing wrong. You’re perfect just as you are. Any man who can’t see that is blind or stupid or both.”
“Is this your erection talking?” she asked dubiously.
“I do get more charitable at certain times, yes.” The corner of her lips lifted. “But no, that has nothing to do with this conversation. And as for being a coward, what about Moose? Don’t tell me you didn’t intend to invite him over for some barbecue brisket and sweet tea.”
“I stopped making that when we sold the bed-and-breakfast.”
“Damn shame. Best in the state. Hell, best north of Louisiana.”
And I could now verify she’d bewitched me in some unknown way, because here I was, praising her down-home cooking when I had the hard-on from hell.
Her cheeks flushed. “Aww, thank you. You really think I should make some for him?”
I nearly growled. “No. You couldn’t even find him on Facebook, Ally said.”
“No, that’s true, but—”
“Forget him.” In a second, I’d be pounding on my chest like a caveman. “If you want to try out your cooking skills, I’m game.”
“Are you asking me out?”
I tightened my hold on her. She was a glorious armful, and I liked her just that way. “More like I’m asking me in.”
“Oh.” She blinked. “Ohh.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Okay. I’m game too. And if we’re being honest about our wants and all…” She took a deep breath. “I’d like to watch you make yourself come.”
5
Sage
I was probably suffering from heat exhaustion. Was that possible from hot tubbing? If not, I was apt to be the first known case.
Why else would I ask my frenemy to jerk off for my viewing pleasure?
Not that he was going to do it. I could tell he was suffering from a serious case of shock, but he didn’t seem too inclined to abide by my request.
“We’re on vacay.” I tried to keep my voice light and not reel back from being turned down. I was so attuned to the possibility that it was hard for me not to just immediately shut down. “Vegas, remember? And you’re clearly uncomfortable…”
“Blue balls don’t kill, princess, I guarantee that.”
Princess. Had he given me a nickname? Should I balk at it, in light of women’s lib?
Fuck no. A sexy dude with an erection—for me—could call me anything he liked. Within reason.
“No, I know. But this trip is about new experiences, and I’ve never—I’ve never—”
“What?” he asked, so carefully that a part of me actually hurt.
How could he be this sweet right now and have hidden it so well from me for so long? Was I that oblivious? Or had it taken a moment like this, far away from our family and friends, to strip down to the essences of who we are?
Of course, we were physically stripped most of the way too. That probably helped.
And he was aroused. He’d already said it made him more charitable. So, what if we did something—anything at all—and we left this room and he went right back to being dickish Oliver? What if I went right back to being shrewish Sage?
Perhaps those were our assigned roles, and we couldn’t change them. It was like an adult reenactment of The Breakfast Club, except our version of detention on Saturday was griping through a lunch shift at the diner.
Then again, he did have a kinder side even away from Vegas. Like how he’d sto
od up for Ally at the diner with Greta. And even how he’d taken time away from his busy schedule to come to Vegas with me. Sure, I’d focused on the fact that he might be trying to slow my roll, but the truth was, he didn’t have to bother. That he’d taken a weekend out of his life to come here with me—business or no business—said a lot.
It said he had to care, if only because I was Ally’s bestie. So maybe he didn’t find it easy to access the more approachable side of himself. I would have to be more tolerant and give him a chance without preconceived notions.
Before my parents had sold the bed-and-breakfast out from under me, I’d never been so quick to judge. So eager to dismiss and berate. I’d once been hopeful enough to believe everyone was a decent person, even if sometimes the decent was slow in coming.
Today was the first chance in a while that I could try reclaiming my former self. I’d just aim for being a bolder version now, the type of woman who asked for what she wanted and believed she could get it.
That she deserved it.
This conversation was part of phase one. I just had to woman up and go for it.
“Okay, so I’ve jerked off a guy,” I said hesitantly. “I have done that.”
Strangely, he didn’t look pleased.
“But as far as giving a blowjob,” I paused as he made a sound I couldn’t identify, “no. I’ve never done that. Also, I’ve never, ahh, jerked a guy to completion either. And I’ve never watched one self-stimulate.”
“If a compound phrase was capable of killing a hard-on, that might be it. Or maybe if you started talking about musk again.”
I took a long, heady sniff near his neck. “It’s like an evergreen musk. So sexy. Mixed with that cedar thing you have going on, it’s like my closet back home. Oh, and my Hope chest.”
“You actually have one? Why am I not surprised?”
I ignored him. “My nana used to line it with these cedar sheets that smelled just like this.” I turned my head and licked his earlobe.
Oh my God, I just licked Oliver. I was taking this “go for what you want” credo seriously.