by Taryn Quinn
I nodded, then blew out a breath. “Well, maybe. Eventually. If she’ll have me.”
“Eventually? And what do you mean, if she’ll have you?”
“The timing isn’t right. I don’t want to strong-arm her into a wedding she isn’t ready for, and perhaps I’m not either. Not because I don’t care about her. I do, so much. And not because it wouldn’t mean something now.”
“But,” my father prompted.
“If we wait and take our time, it will mean even more later. And then she will know.”
He rubbed his forehead as if I’d pained him. I probably had. Lord knows I’d pained myself plenty since that night at the bar.
I hadn’t gone completely radio silent. I couldn’t. Not seeing her or smelling her summery scent or feeling the softness of her skin was almost more than I could bear. I couldn’t not communicate with her as well, even if that communication was mostly one-sided. But it still felt like a conversation, because for every other origami frog or lizard or bird I delivered to her, she would send something back. Sometimes a few words if I asked her a question. Sometimes a trinket from her day. A fresh tea bag from the box that matched the drink she’d made while reading a novel, a clip of something from the paper.
Yesterday, I’d sent her flowers, and she’d returned a few of the petals with little smiley faces and hearts written on them. I had saved those petals and placed them in a shallow dish of water at home. The ink was half smeared off, but I didn’t care. It was the thought that counted.
What we were doing was completely old-fashioned and no one would understand it. I wasn’t sure I even did myself. All I knew was that it seemed as if by taking this time and being absolutely sure of what we wanted, we wouldn’t have to go through this again.
Or maybe that was just wishful mailing.
We’d seen each other a couple of times at my brother’s while visiting the new baby, but those times were few and far between. I eagerly sucked up every glimpse of her, trying to catalog the minute changes in her body. What I wouldn’t give to be at her side day and night.
Hopefully, one day soon that would be part of my reality.
“Know what, son?” my father asked, obviously realizing I wasn’t going to offer an explanation without his nudge.
“She’ll know what she means to me, because everything I’ve done has been against my nature. All I want to do is charge in and claim her and my kid. Tell the whole world that she’s mine.”
“So why haven’t you?”
I frowned. “I had to set things up the right way. And she didn’t want me to take over, she even said so.”
“So, what’s your plan then? Just to sit back and let her come to you? How’s that working out for you?”
“No. Not exactly. There are pieces to put in order, parts of this that I need to slip into place before I—” I groaned. “Jesus, I’ve gotta stop with the damn pieces. She doesn’t want all that. Or just that. I need to go with emotion. That means a big, over-the-top production that has a high likelihood of failure, like Seth did for Ally.”
“Well, that’s one way of putting it,” my father said drily.
“I intended to do the Vegas thing in a few months. Seth gave me that idea, so I owe him for that. But by asking her to marry me now, it seems as if I’m just doing it so everyone in town won’t talk about how I got her pregnant.”
“Son, everyone in town will not be talking about that. Look around you. It’s 2018. Most people do not notice or care about such things any longer.”
I stopped pacing and sank into a chair across from my father. Actually, I think my legs gave out. “Pardon me?”
He waved a hand. “Come on now. Crescent Cove is a small town, and we do have our gossips, but we aren’t rooted that far in the past.”
“What about you? You just insisted I was going to marry her as soon as I told you I’d gotten her pregnant.”
“Yes, but not for the sake of looks. You’re in love with that girl, and you have been for some time now. The obvious mating dance you two have been engaging in for years gets far more attention than her having your baby.”
I searched for my voice and discovered it had given out just like my damn legs.
“About time you start a family,” my father went on. “I’m just relieved you didn’t find yourself in a Seth and Marjorie situation, though who can fault the result.” My father smiled while I tried to find my balls where they’d been crushed under his wingtips. “Sweetest little girl to ever be born, our Laurie.”
I grunted in agreement. Mating dance? Us? Okay, yes, probably. But even my father had noticed it when I had not.
God help me, I was daft. We were daft.
I didn’t want to waste another second on trying to set up the perfect way to fix this. Life was messy. The woman I loved didn’t want perfection. She just wanted to know her opinions were valued and that we were a team. Figuring things out together.
Oh, and that I loved her. She’d said that was a vital part of marriage, and she was right. She just didn’t realize I was already right there.
She might not be. But she felt something strong for me. I could see it in her eyes and every time she touched me. I could work with that.
“I bought back the bed-and-breakfast,” I blurted while my brain raced with ideas.
I needed a big gesture. Well, a companion one to go with the bed-and-breakfast purchase, since that was pretty big in itself. Something that proved to her without a doubt I loved her and would do whatever it took to make a real go of this.
My father frowned. “Sage’s parents’ bed-and-breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“But it was sold for condominiums. How did you—”
“I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.” I raked a hand through my hair and gripped the back of my neck. “If she wants to run it, I’m going to help her. Not that I have any idea how. But it’s her dream, and I want to help her realize it.”
“And that’s why you’re going part time here for a while.”
“Yes. Assuming she still wants to run it. If not, I’m going to own a bed-and-breakfast I don’t have the foggiest clue what to do with.”
“You’re starting a whole new family business.” He smiled and rose, coming around the desk to cup my cheeks in a way he hadn’t since I was probably ten. Possibly even younger. “I’m proud of you, Oliver. You’re much more of a man than you learned to be from me. Both of my boys are.”
“Uh, thanks.”
He laughed and stepped back, leaning against his desk. “She’ll make a fine wife and mother. And a businesswoman to boot.”
“You always loved her.”
“She’s sweet. Always a little uncertain, but she holds her own.” His eyes narrowed. “As do you. So, go out there and take care of business, son.”
I nodded and got to my feet. “Thanks, Dad.”
He blinked and for a second, I would’ve sworn his eyes were damp. “It’s been a long time since you called me that. I’m most often ‘Father’ or something unfit to print.”
I dipped my hands in my pockets. “Let’s just say I’m learning some things are a lot harder to navigate in life than I realized when I was a kid. Or twenty-eight.”
He didn’t laugh this time. “I’ve made my share of mistakes.”
“Who hasn’t? But you’re still here, and you’re trying. That’s all anyone can ask for. At least I hope so, because I’m guaranteed to mess up with my own child more times than I can count.”
He pulled me in for a hard hug then smiled and moved back behind his desk. “Little piece of advice?”
“Sure.”
“Go ask your brother how to reel her in. It’ll make his year.”
I had to chuckle. “Reel her in, hmm?”
“You’ll see. Marriage is about using all kinds of different hooks and lures at different times. Not that I got my first one right, but luckily, sometimes a man gets second chances.”
My brows lifted. “Is that right?”
<
br /> “Go on now.” He waved his hand at me and moved his mouse to wake up his computer. “Let me know when to look for the invitation to the wedding.”
I was already halfway to the door. “You’ll need a plane ticket.”
“You’re really doing the Vegas thing?”
“Yeah. Elvis chapel to be exact.” I grinned and pulled the door shut behind me, blocking out his astonished face as I stepped into the hallway.
Even Oliver Hamilton could learn some new tricks. And I was about to prove it, assuming my brother’s planning skills were on point.
I pushed the first number on my phone’s speed dial as I walked down the hall.
Seth answered on the fourth ring, sounding harried. Alexander was crying in the background and Laurie was screaming or singing or God only knows what. “If you have a work emergency, sod off. I have my own problems, so handle it.”
“Hello to you too. When have I ever called you for a work emergency? Also, sod off? Are you doing a Madonna now with the faux English accent?”
“There’s this stupid show we binge-watched this week and the guy has an English acc—you know what, never mind,” he said as I laughed. “What’s up?”
“I need your help. Yours and Ally’s probably, if she’s around.” I jogged down the front steps and walked up the street to where my car was parked at the curb. It was snowing again, with a foot or more predicted by nightfall. That might put a wrench in whatever we came up with.
Unless I could find a way to work the weather into my plans.
Sage loved snow. It had been snowing the night she’d told me she was pregnant.
The night my world had tilted in the best way possible.
“Nope, that’s why I took the half day from work. Sage had the day off and they were going shopping. Ally needed a break.”
“No kidding. It sounds like a zoo there.”
Soon, that would be my reality. A part of me was anxious. The rest of me was oddly anticipatory.
Proof positive I was either in love or possibly an undiagnosed flu victim.
“They had a birthday in Laurie’s class and there were gluten-free cupcakes. She’s bouncing off the walls and getting Alexander going while she’s at it.” Laurie let out a wail and Seth exhaled. “Hang on, honey. I’ll be right there. Dude, save me,” he said urgently into the phone.
“Your wish is my command. I’m on my way over.”
“Yeah, and? I said save me, not come stand around and brood.”
“I do not brood.”
“Tell that to your face. It’s pretty much all you do lately. You need to do something about Sage.”
“You’re right.” I slipped into my car and signaled into traffic. “That’s what I was on my way over to ask for your help with.”
“Did you just say I’m right? And that you intended to ask for help? Who is this and what have you done with my brother?”
I turned off NPR because it was hard enough to hear Seth with the melee in the background. “I’m man enough to admit you’re the greater voice of experience in this realm.”
“Because I’m familiar with unplanned pregnancy? That’s what the old Oliver would say.”
“Yeah, well, the old Oliver was an asshole. No, because you know how to convince a woman you love her.”
It became unnaturally quiet in Seth’s house for a moment. He must’ve stepped into another room and closed the door. Either that or he’d gagged both his children.
“So, it’s true. You really do love her.”
“Yes, it’s true. I told you before that I did.”
“You’d also drank more in two hours than you had in your entire life up until that point, so excuse me for entertaining some doubt.”
I flipped on my signal to make the turn to head to Seth’s. “I love her. I love the kid. I want to have a life with them. A family.” I gripped the wheel until my fingers tingled. “What you have, you lucky bastard.”
“Good. I’m glad. Sage deserves that. What have you done so far?”
“Given her origami.”
“Hmm, unorthodox, I’ll give you that.”
“Bought back her parents’ bed-and-breakfast so we can run it together.”
“From small gesture to ginormous. Holy shit. Seriously?”
“Yeah. Now I have to prove to her I love her.”
“You don’t think that’ll do it?”
Despite the fact he couldn’t see me, I waved it off before I turned on my wipers. Already the heavy wet flakes were coming down hard enough to cover my windshield. “That’s just money. I want to give her the romantic gesture to go with it. Something like you did for Ally.”
“Fireworks are kinda outta season, brother.”
“No kidding. But there is snow— Fuck yes, that’s it!” In my exuberance, I slammed on the brakes and nearly drove off the road. I corrected with a screech of tires and a string of curses that made Seth flip out in my ear.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“All good. I’m almost there. Where can we do a snow message to Sage that she can read without much trouble? The loft doesn’t have a backyard.”
“Considering her building backs up to a lake, uh, no. Snow message like what? A proposal?”
“No. Too soon.”
“Too soon? She’s pregnant.”
“Yeah, I know that. Still too soon. Work with me here.”
“Trying to. Then what are you going to say in the snow? ‘Sorry, I’m Oliver, but I’m trying?’”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I don’t recall giving you shit when you were fucked up over Ally. I recall going to her and fixing the entire situation for you.”
“A bit of an overstatement, but you did help. Do you want me to write the snow message to Sage? Perhaps a sonnet that she’ll be certain never came from you?”
“You’re a jackass. Next time I consider asking you for help, I’ll saw off my tongue first.” I was about to press the end button when Seth’s voice came through the line.
“Wait.”
I waited. A bit broodingly too.
“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I’m just enjoying this moment too much. The mighty Oliver, brought to his knees by love. Wait until you have a daughter, and then you’ll really know what it’s like to be a mess twenty-four-seven.”
“Especially when she gets her first boyfriend in kindergarten.”
Seth grunted and I laughed. “All right, you’re forgiven. We don’t have much time. I’m assuming the women folk won’t be out shopping all that long?”
“Depends. Guessing you’ve never gone shopping with a woman with a newly paid-off charge card. When there’s two of them, multiply the hours by three.” He paused. “I have an idea where we can do it. Actually, it’s the only place we can do it because I’m not dragging my four-year-old and an infant out in a snowstorm even for the lovelorn.”
An hour later, I was shoveling snow to make the letter L while the wind whipped even more of the white stuff into my eyes and against my already stinging cheeks. Beside me, my brother was working on the letter O while my niece danced around making snowballs. At the same time, we all kept an eye on Alexander, who was bundled up in his infant-sized snowsuit in his plastic swing-slash-carrier.
Which was parked on the top of the picnic table, the only spot we could clear off enough to set him down.
“You know, this idea sucks,” Seth shouted. “More snow keeps coming down. It’s filling up our letters as fast as we make them.”
“So move it. Stop being so damn slow.”
“Swear jar, Unca Ollie!” Laurie sang out cheerfully, punctuating her words with a snowball heaved right against my ass.
“Do you take credit cards?”
She laughed and answered me by flinging snow against my front. I was tempted to admonish her until it occurred to me maybe she could help. She was a girl. All girls loved romance. Even pint-sized ones.
“Hey there, Laur-Monster, want to help us write a message to your aunt Sage?
”
I hadn’t meant to phrase the question exactly like that, but it was true enough. If Sage agreed to be in my life, she would become Laurie’s aunt officially, though she’d held the role for some time in an unofficial capacity.
“Yes! Yay.” Laurie slapped her snowy mittens together and beamed, flashing her newly gap-toothed smile. “What is it s’posed to say?”
“I love you, Sage.” Saying it aloud made my chest tighten, and not from the cold. “Can you help us keep the letters we’ve already made clean? The snow keeps falling and filling them up and we have to make it so Sage can read the message from the window.”
“I can do it!” Laurie grabbed her tiny shovel and trotted over to the first word we had done, Sage’s name. Doing the curves on the S had presented a challenge, so we’d started with the hardest word first and were working backward.
Laurie shoveled for a moment or two, carefully cleaning out the newly accumulated snow from the letter S. Then she stopped and tilted her head. “But it’s getting dark.”
“I know. We have to work faster so—aw, fuck.” I jammed my shovel into the snow pack and threw up my hands. “I’ll put my American Express card in the swear jar, how’s that?”
“She’s right. My four-year-old thought of something we didn’t.” Seth wiped a hand over his snowy face, transferring even more of the flakes in his disgust. “These words aren’t going to last until morning.”
“No sh—sauce, Sherlock,” I corrected as Laurie eyed me closely. At this rate, she’d have her college tuition fully funded by the end of the night. “There’s only one solution,” I yelled as the wind gusted. “You have to call Ally and make her come home with Sage.”
“Oh, I do?” he yelled back. “I have to solve this?”
“Cabin,” I reminded him, and he threw over his shovel in disgust, then stomped inside to summon his wife.
I grinned triumphantly. I wasn’t going to let him forget my role in getting Ally back until we were old and in rocking chairs at the senior living home. Probably still arguing over checkers.
And I wondered why Sage and I were such a match? I’d been sparring with Seth since we were in diapers. Probably even before then, only we’d communicated with finger jabs in the womb.