I glanced at Rusk. He gave a half-shrug as if to acknowledge Amandera’s capability. What was the choice she was going to ask me to make? I hoped it didn’t have anything to do with Rusk. She looked at him with curiosity and a certain level of hunger in her eyes. What exactly was it like for a young, vibrant woman to be married to an ancient husk of a man like the High Tazmin? Was it possible that she had dalliances on the side? Was she thinking of Rusk that way?
I stab of fear ran down my spine.
Minutes later Amandera had a tent set up along the cliffs and a fire lit. Her armsmen pushed Rusk and I into a sitting position, side by side on a fallen log. Amandera spoke to me while she arranged her things, as if she were conversing to a friend. Knowing that she held my fate in her hands made her friendly conversation feel eerie, especially with the cliff’s edge so close to us and the implied threat of a coming choice.
“It’s surprising how little they teach you in the Silken Gardens. There’s nothing wrong with history, court lessons and good health, but they leave you woefully ill-prepared for the world beyond. The thinking is that you will be malleable when we set you on your future course, but in your case it just made you mulish and foolish, didn’t it Tylira?” Amandera filled a black kettle and set it on the fire. “If you had been patient and listened to your lessons – the lessons I was planning to give you – instead of running off, then you would know all about heartstones. You would know, for instance, that they came from the Gods to our ancestors as a way to harness the energy of the earth and access the Common Soul of our world, our ancestors, and ourselves. You would know that when the heartstone is taken from you, you lose that link. You would know that someday when you die we will distill your essence from out of the stone and send you back into the common while the stone will be passed on to the next generation.”
“You’re assuming that I’ll die before you,” I said, ice in my voice.
“And of course you will. You’ve been thrashing like a baby in a nest of snakes. Every movement only puts you in worse danger, but you are incapable of understanding your own situation. You think that I am your enemy because I caused you pain, but if you knew anything you would know that sometimes pain is the only way to activate your link to the Common and you would thank me for it. How many men have you killed with your link to the Common since we met, Tylira?”
My stomach heaved at the thought, but I didn’t answer.
“I know of at least a dozen deaths caused by you.” Amandera laid out her things for tea and arranged a folding chair to her liking. “And I’ve not been in a position to keep a running tally. I think that if you reflect on it, you will realize that since I took you from the Silken Gardens you have killed many people – and I have not killed anyone. You will realize that the evil you are facing is not outside of you. It is inside you. You are the threat here. You are the one who is causing immeasurable pain with your desire for independence and your desire to be your truest self.”
Her voice had a mocking note to it. I was not the problem here! If she would just leave me alone then nothing would have happened to anyone. She caused all of this. Well, except for Toure. And the soldier on her palanquin. The soldiers who had fought us when we defended Alsoon deserved what they got, so I wasn’t going to count them. They had to know we would defend ourselves, didn’t they?
A twittering sound drew my attention. Tiny grey and white birds were sitting all around Rusk’s feet and flittering, tweeting, and occasionally resting on his shoulders or hands. He had a fond look on his face as though he were welcoming friends. I really did need to ask him more about why birds loved him so much. Just saying ‘I’m the Prince of Hawks’ didn’t seem like enough of an explanation.
The rest of the camp was set up, and Amandera’s guards broke up into their scouting parties and proceeded to follow her orders. There were only five men stationed around the camp guarding the High Tazminera, although two of them were clumped up behind her tent as if they were hiding something. If we were going to escape we would need to do that while so many of them were gone.
Amandera sighed loudly as she poured herself tea. She perched like a bird on the edge of the folding chair and sipped her tea out of a sky-china cup, as delicate and pale blue as a summer sky.
“I can tell by your face that you aren’t hearing me, Tylira. You are planning your escape. It’s true to form, but counterproductive. Have you learned nothing from the past days? The more you run the more you cause pain for others and now I’m afraid that you will cause pain again. I require you to be at your best.”
Amandera signalled to her armsmen behind the tent and they came out. One had something long and heavy thrown over his shoulder. He threw it to the ground at Amandera’s feet. Bound in ropes, a kerchief tied around her mouth and a villainous gaze, was Jakinda.
My hand flew up to cover my mouth and I looked at Rusk. He opened his mouth and stepped forward, but one of the guards had moved up behind him while he was distracted. He had a knife to Rusk’s throat before I could cry out a warning. Rusk grunted as his hands were lashed behind his back. The knife never left his throat, its tip leaving a droplet of red running down his neck.
“Please, Amandera. She is nothing but a faithful servant of the High Tazmin. Her loyalty is to Canderabai,” I said. I felt like there was no blood left in my face, and my head felt light. Seeing Jakinda tied up here when I thought she’d escaped left a bitter taste of guilt in my mouth. What did that mean for Buhari? Were my other guards dead? I shouldn’t have left them.
“She left the borders of Canderabai without the Emperor’s permission. Her fate is sealed.”
“It was me who led her away,” I said, pleading. “I should bear the punishment.”
Amandera tapped a finger to her chin as if she were considering it. “In that case, I suppose I should give you the option of preventing her execution.”
I let out a long breath. Amandera nodded to the guards. They hauled Jakinda to her feet and marched her to the edge of the cliff and tugged off her gag and ropes. She looked small and ragged there on the edge.
“Tylira,” she said in a weak voice, but one of the guards growled at her and she fell silent.
“Jakinda, are you hurt?”
She shook her head.
“Buhari? Sesay?” I asked, but my voice was small. I already knew the answer.
She looked away, and her refusal to answer was all the answer I needed.
“You’ve proven to have some rare abilities, Tylira,” Amandera said. “Abilities that have the strength to overcome my own considerable power. This is a great asset for Canderabai and the High Tazmin. I would like to see if we can wring one other ability out of you. I’ve never seen it myself, but the ancestors tell me that some rare individuals can touch the Common without the use of a heartstone. I have yours, and I would like you to touch the Common for me without it. What do you say, Tylira?”
“Please, Amandera,” I begged, clasping my hands in front of me and taking a step forward. Not Jakinda. Not after everything that happened between us. I owed her so much and I’d done nothing but disappoint her.
“No, Tylira. This is up to you. Choose to find the Common and your guard lives. Fail … and she goes over the edge.”
“Jakinda,” I said, locking my gaze on to hers. Her face was twisted and her eyes brimmed with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head violently.
“Don’t be sorry, Tylira,” Amandera said. “Be capable.”
“Don’t do this to her!” Rusk pled. One of the guards cuffed him hard in the face. He swayed, his head lolling forward.
My gaze swivelled from him to Jakinda and back to Amandera.
“You want me to do something no one has ever done before!”
“Focus Tylira. Stop playing around.” Her eyes were hard and deadly serious. Desperately I reached for Ra’shara, but my concentration slipped. Again. I was in a meditative state, but there was nothing there, like a dream when the morning comes.
> “I don’t know how!” I said, throwing up my hands. “You just admitted that you don’t know how. No one does!”
“A ‘no’ then,” Amandera said, before slowly sipping her tea with a dainty flourish of her hand and then nodding just as gracefully to her armsman who reached out and shoved Jakinda over the side of the cliff.
A scream tore through me. Her fall was painfully slow. She stumbled backwards, arms spinning and grasping at the empty air, and then with nothing to hold to she tumbled slowly backwards and over the side. Her eyes locked on to mine as they vanished from view.
“No!” I screamed and then my scream turned to a sob. “No, no, no.”
I should never have left her on her own. I should have found another way. She died knowing this was my fault and there was no way that I could ever take it back. I shouldn’t have run in the race for the useless Teeth of the Gods. What did they matter? My freedom had felt so valuable – so priceless - but compared to Jakinda’s life, to her whole future, what was the value of a few days or weeks of doing as I pleased? What was the value of an ancient artifact? I’d bargained with her life and lost.
I was a fool and worse, a selfish fool. I should rip Amandera limb from limb for pushing me into becoming this person that I hated. I should tell her to do something impossible and then push her over a cliff.
“Let’s try this again,” Amandera said. “Perhaps you simply didn’t care enough about that guard captain.”
The guard closest to Rusk ripped his shirt off and I gasped at the angry scabbed scar in his torso. His old wound had indeed been the problem, but he hadn’t admitted how bad it was. The guard jabbed Rusk with the handle of his knife right in Rusk’s swollen wound. Rusk cried out, curling over the wound and thrashing against his bonds. I felt a spike of pain in the ball of his feelings that I carried in my mind.
“Please!” I yelled, standing up. Not Rusk! They killed Alsoon, they killed Jakinda, I wouldn’t let them kill him too.
“Sit,” Amandera ordered. She could order all she wanted. I wasn’t going to allow her to hurt Rusk. I launched myself forward and then Amandera gave a sign and her guards all started to hit him with their fists. “It ends when you sit.”
On the word ‘sit’ I threw myself to the ground like a beaten dog eager to submit.
“Good,” Amandera said. “You can listen when you really try.”
“Please, don’t hurt him,” I begged. Rusk’s grunts and labored breathing told me all I needed to know. They’d hurt him badly. His pain flared and burned in my mind.
“It’s not my choice, Tylira. It’s yours. You wanted to be master of your own destiny. Well, here you go. As promised, you have a choice. Reach Ra’shara and the Common without your heartstone, or choose not to. Your choice will determine what happens. I can’t very well throw him off a cliff – not while he’s bound to you, but there are other methods within my reach. Will you find the Common?”
“It’s not my choice if I don’t know how to do what you’re asking!” I said.
“Another ‘no’,” Amandera said with a nod and the same guard punched Rusk in his wound again.
Rusk’s cry was gut-wrenching. I moaned with him. Why could I cause nothing but pain to those I loved? My hands were shaking so badly that I couldn’t calm them. There was no way to satisfy Amandera if the price was to do the impossible. I squeezed my eyes shut. I needed to try. I needed to do my very best to show that I was trying to say ‘yes’ even though the request was impossible.
Nothing met my frantic grasp. I couldn’t enter Ra’shara without the heartstone.
“You are trying,” Amandera said, from much closer. She must have walked closer to observe her handiwork. “But not hard enough yet. It takes pain to wring a connection out of someone, and all my efforts only brought out your first talent. I don’t think I can make you feel enough pain by only afflicting you. I know from experience how attached one can become to the person they are tied to – whatever those bonds may be. Now try, Tylira. You have caused enough pain already with your willfulness.”
Screwing up my eyes tight as I could, I tried to find Ra’shara. Rusk’s cries of pain told me I had failed. I leaned forward, hands sinking into the deep moss, trying as hard as I could. I focused on the scent – bright and effervescent – of the trees and on the sound of the birds. Birds? I opened my eyes. Birds were everywhere, circling Rusk and screeching so loudly that they almost drowned out his cries. It was as if every bird on the island had come to try to assist him. They dove at the men beating him, screeching and flapping. Amandera’s guards spent half their efforts beating the birds back, but they were not enough to stop the armsmen entirely. Come on birds! Don’t let up!
Amandera stepped on my hand, leaning her weight on to it. I bit down on my tongue to keep from crying out.
“Close your eyes and try again,” she said, ignoring the birds entirely. They dove at her, too, but none could reach her. Could she make a shield?
I screwed my eyes shut and tried again. Carefully, I blocked out the sounds of the world, blocked out the invigorating smell, blocked out my own pain and terror and dug as deep as I could. For a bare moment Ra’shara flickered before me and then it was gone again.
“I felt that,” Amandera said. I could hear the smile in her tone. “Gentlemen, it’s time to exert just a bit more pressure on the san’lelion.”
No! With the beating they were giving Rusk, he couldn’t take much more. I focused deep within, and sank deep, deep into the meditation, forcing all other thought, sensation, and emotion away so there was only me and Ra’shara. Like the snap of a taut bowstring I was flung suddenly into Ra’shara and with a concentrated focus of mind I kept myself there as I opened my eyes. Amandera was beaming.
“Here’s a little extra motivation for you,” Amandera said through her sickly-sweet smile. “I’m guessing by the fact that you were kissing your san’lelion, that he hasn’t told you the truth yet. Love can’t be built on lies.”
Rusk yelled out his loudest cry yet. What were they doing to him?
“I think I’ll tell you, Tylira, on his behalf. He shouldn’t go to the grave without you knowing.”
She was playing with me. I needed to focus and destroy her. I focused on her heartstone, found a thread and began to pull it loose.
“It was Rusk Hawkwing, the acclaimed Prince of Hawks and General of the Kosad Plains – the very one you seem so taken with- who slew your mother. Fancy that.”
The thread from the heartstone flapped about, slick and slimy as a fresh-caught fish and in my shock at her words I let go. My mother. He couldn’t have! She was lying. The world felt like it was spinning and my vision flickered with black spots.
Lightnings tore through the camp, lighting Amandera’s tent on fire, spiralling up one of the great trees into the sky and piercing two of the guards. Corpses of birds rained from the sky and fell on us as I leapt to my feet and pushed through the stunned guards to grab Rusk’s hand.
I glanced towards Amandera. Could she stop us? She stood with a white face and hollow eyes staring at something in her hands. Her heartstone was shattered in half, cupped tenderly in her palms.
“Can you run?” I asked, Rusk, hauling him to his feet. She had to be lying. It couldn’t have been Rusk. He would have told me. He would never have let me kiss him. But he hadn’t at first, had he? He’d pulled away.
He looked at me with big, pleading eyes and before I could grasp what they meant he pulled me by the hand holding his, and ran towards the cliff.
“Rusk! The cliff!” I screamed, but it was too late. His feet left solid ground and he was flying through the air, arms and legs paddling as if he were swimming in the water instead of jumping to his death. His hand holding mine pulled me after him, falling, falling, falling into nothing.
I screamed.
31
Flight
I couldn’t take in all the sensations: falling, terror, exhilaration, sights whizzing by, my own heartbeat deafeningly loud in my ears. I ga
sped as my fall stopped suddenly. Rusk caught me in his arms, then drooped over me, and barely conscious. We were on the most massive bird I had ever imagined. It was all white with grey-dappled feathers and great wings beating in steady rhythm as it gained height.
“Giant Roc,” Rusk gasped, “the sparrows told me he was here. Sent for him.”
His head drooped against his chest and his hold on me was weak. Below us the double row of curving spires grew small.
“Can you ask him to take us to an island? I think you’re going to pass out,” I said.
He grunted and muttered something indecipherable, but the Roc spiralled downward so he must have been able to communicate. I counted the spires. Fourteen. The one we had been on with Amandera was the most easterly of them all and the Roc was moving towards the westerly islands. At the bases of two, I could see small fishing villages in protected coves and here and there I thought I could make out giant nests in some of the most magnificent trees. Whoever would have believed that there would be Giant Rocs here? Or that they existed at all, outside of legend?
One of the Ribs had a lighter tip than the rest, and I realized as we drew nearer that the top of it was dished out with formidable mountains ringing a small clear lake. It looked impregnable. We needed somewhere like that to rest while Rusk healed. Somewhere that would be hard to get to – or even see- for anyone but a bird.
“Can he take us to the one with the lake on top?” I asked.
This time Rusk didn’t even grunt although he let out a breath that was what a grunt would be when it was exhausted. He wasn’t so much holding me now as simply draped over my back, his head resting on my shoulder.
There was something strange about the lake as we drew nearer. What was that ?It looked almost as if something had fallen into it – something as large as an inn- and only a tiny part of it peeked out along the beach. Whatever could it be? I should find out as soon as I could. It might be a building we could hide in, although why a building would be half-submerged was beyond me.
Teeth of the Gods (Unweaving Chronicles Book 1) Page 20