When the coach does another cartwheel, Paige says, “You nudged him a lot!”
The coach pulls a folding table out of his trunk and sets it up on the front lawn. He adds a white linen tablecloth, a couple of candlesticks, and a vase containing a single rose.
While the coach is smoothing out the creases in the tablecloth, I walk over to Martin. “What are you doing here?”
“The coach said he’d get me out of PE for the rest of the year if I helped him.”
“Helped him how?”
The coach snaps his fingers. “Martin! Set the mood!”
Martin takes his violin out of the backseat and starts to play—I don’t know the song, but whatever it is, it’s romantic.
As Martin plays, the coach grabs a champagne bottle and two glasses from the trunk and puts them on the table. He nods, satisfied. Then he walks up to the door and knocks.
Here comes the proposal!
I’m not going to say I’m the best fairy godmother ever…
…but I am! I’m the best fairy godmother ever! In less than a week, I’ve found Gina the perfect husband, and now he’s proposing! This is awesome!
Gina opens the door. “Brian? What are you doing here?”
“Come with me.” He puts out his hand and she hesitates—this has to be pretty strange for her. Then she sees me, Sunny, and Paige smiling and giggling, and she relaxes.
Gina takes Coach Overdale’s hand, and he leads her to the little table on the lawn as Martin plays romantic music. The coach pulls out a chair. “Please, darling, sit.”
She sits, but she also frowns. “What’s all this about?”
When the coach gets down on one knee, Gina frowns even harder. “This isn’t funny.”
Because of the love spell, the coach smiles at her as if she had just said, “OH MY GOSH!” like all the women in movies and TV commercials always do. He gazes lovingly into her eyes and says, “Sunny’s mother, will you marry me?”
She stiffens. “Are you insane? Brian, I don’t know what you’re doing, but stop it! I’m going to go inside and pretend this never happened.”
“You must not have heard me. Sunny’s mother—marry me! Today, at five p.m.!”
She jumps up so fast she knocks over her chair.
“Sunny’s mother! What are you doing?”
Paige whispers to me, “Why does he keep calling her that?”
“It was in the spell—nothing rhymed with Gina.”
Gina runs into the house and slams the door. The coach follows her and rings the bell. “Sunny’s mother? Please come out and marry me. Sunny’s mother? Don’t destroy all that we’ve built together!”
Gina opens the door: “We’ve known each other for precisely two days! We haven’t built anything! GO AWAY!”
“MARRRRY MEEEEEEEE!”
“I’m calling the police!”
She slams the door again, and the coach collapses on the doorstep, sobbing.
Martin stops playing romantic music. “I still get out of PE, right?”
The coach nods yes and cries some more.
Martin smiles and starts playing a funeral march to go along with the coach’s tears.
Katarina whispers up at me from my pocket, “I suggest you do something before Gina really does call the police.”
Yikes! She’s right!
I motion to the girls, and we all run behind the house, where Fifi the poodle barks at us like we’re burglars.
We go in through the sliding glass door and find Gina picking up the phone.
“Gina, wait!” I say. “I know you’re confused about why Coach Overdale is proposing to you right now. But I can explain everything!”
The girls stare at me, and then Katarina murmurs, “This had better be good!”
I start with the truth: “Coach Overdale is in love with you, and he wants to give you his grandmother’s ring and marry you.”
“He can give me rings from everyone in his family, but I’m not going to marry him!”
“But you like him.”
“Sure, I like him. But he’s crazy. And crazy’s a deal-breaker!”
“He’s not crazy. He’s crazy in love!”
On the front lawn, the coach starts singing, “Sunny’s mother, I love you!”
Gina listens for a second, and then says, “No, he’s just crazy crazy.”
I need to try another approach. “He only seems crazy because the proposal was so sudden. But what if you had dated him…if you had met his family…if he had given you flowers on your birthday…Would you marry him then?”
Gina hesitates. “Maybe. But that didn’t happen, did it?”
She said maybe, and that means that if the godmothers gave me a year and not a week, I could get Gina her dream wedding, no problem. But I don’t have a year. I only have until 9:23 this evening!
I know that for Gina to get her dream, it has to be true love. But, I keep telling myself, this is true love—I did the love-locator test! What more proof do I need?
None.
I hate to do what I’m about to do, but this is the only way. So nervous that my hand shakes, I raise my wand and chant, “Love must prevail, so marry Coach Overdale.”
I’m about to toss the spell when Katarina flings herself onto the wand and tries to yank it away from me. “Lacey! No!”
Gina looks at Katarina, agog. “What is that?”
Oops.
I manage to flick Katarina away, and I toss the spell right at Gina. She blinks as if a bright camera flash just went off, then smiles. Her smile is even goofier than the coach’s.
“Now you’ve done it!” Katarina shouts.
Sunny and Paige look at me, confused. I say, “Gina’s not going to be happy unless she gets married today. I had to use a spell.”
Katarina slowly shakes her head. “Lacey, you’ll go down in the history books as the worst fairy-godmother candidate ever. Even worse than—”
I’m actually a little curious to find out who the next-worst candidate is, but before Katarina has a chance to finish, Gina rushes to the front door, flings it open, and runs outside. “Coach Overdale! I LOVE YOU!”
The coach hugs her. “Sunny’s mother! I LOVE YOU!”
I wish they would use first names—it would be nicer, don’t you think?
They gaze into each other’s eyes, totally love-struck. Then the coach gets down on one knee and takes the ring out of his pocket. He says, “Sunny’s mother—will you marry me today at five?”
Gina says, “Yes, Coach Overdale. I will marry you today at five!”
Sunny, Paige, Katarina, and I watch from the front door as the coach slips the ring on Gina’s finger. Then they kiss. I know this is happening because of a magic spell, but it’s still really, really romantic. When Martin starts playing the violin, it’s like the best perfume commercial ever.
Gina and the coach really do seem to belong together. Maybe I did cheat, a smidge. Well, a lot. But I had to! And look how well it’s working out!
The kiss goes on and on, and Sunny finally tugs on Gina’s sleeve. “Mom! This is embarrassing!”
Gina stops kissing the coach long enough to tell Sunny, “It’s not embarrassing, it’s love!”
“And you’re happy?”
“Of course I am! Who wouldn’t be happy marrying Coach Overdale today at five?”
The coach kisses Gina again. “Oh, darling!” he cries.
“Oh, darling!” Gina replies.
Oh, puke! They’re acting like Aladdin and Barbie when Madison was mushing them together. This is embarrassing. Plus, we’re never going to get anything done if they keep kissing all day.
I tell Martin, “Good job! Homeroom’s in fifteen minutes. You’d better go.”
Martin looks happy not to have to watch any more kissing. He packs up his violin and hurries away.
Then I shout, “GINA! COACH! TIME OUT!” They stop kissing for a moment and look at me, surprised. Now what do I do with them? It’s a long time till the wedding.
&nbs
p; I’m about to lock the coach in the garage when I remember something: we need to find a real, nonmagical minister. Maybe I can put the coach to work.
So I say, “Coach, you’re the groom. And everyone knows the groom isn’t supposed to see the bride before the wedding; it’s bad luck. Do you understand?”
The coach nods.
“I’m going to give you a very important job. You need to go out and find a minister, or there won’t be any wedding at all. And you don’t want that, do you?”
“No! My heart would stop beating, and I would cry a million tears.”
(I don’t think you can cry even one tear if your heart isn’t beating. Does love make you stupid?)
Gina tells him, “And I would cry two million tears.”
(Yep, love makes you stupid.)
Before they start smooching again, I push the coach toward his car. “Go find us a minister in time for the wedding! And drive carefully!”
The coach runs to his car and then stops. What now? He asks me, “Where is the wedding?”
Good question. I’m about to tell him to go to Fountain Park, but then I remember the basketball game. How will I get to the game in time? I promised Scott I’d be there. This just gets more and more complicated! It would sure be easier to have the wedding and the game closer to each other.
I make a snap decision and tell the coach, “Meet us at the school cafeteria.”
“Cafeteria! Got it!” He gets into his car and drives off.
Sunny stares at me. “The cafeteria?”
Paige is equally shocked. “Gross!”
Katarina nods. “Gross, indeed.”
“I want to play in the basketball game tonight, and Paige needs to cheer, so everything has to be close together. I’ll make it nice, trust me.”
Gina stands on the sidewalk, waving at the coach’s car. “Good-bye, my love! Good-bye!”
Geez, if I’m not careful, she’s going to wander off. I think about locking her in the garage, but that’s not a very nice thing to do to a woman on her wedding day. Most brides spend the whole day with a stylist working on their hair and makeup and nails, not staring at the lawn mower.
As I lean against the fence, trying to figure out what to do, Fifi the poodle runs up from the other side and barks at me. Her rhinestone collar sparkles in the sun, and her pink bow is placed at a jaunty angle. Even though she’s a dog, she’s the most fashionable person around.
I suddenly know where to get Gina the extra bridal help she needs. I raise my wand and chant, “A perfect bride needs Fifi at her side.”
When I toss the spell at her, Fifi starts to spin around faster and faster.
Then there’s a puff of sparkles, and a beautiful woman appears on our side of the fence, dressed in stylish black clothes and spike heels. She’s still got the pink bow and rhinestone collar, but even they look classier now. Fifi says, in a strong French accent, “Where is ze bride?”
“Here is ze bride,” I say, and point at Gina.
Katarina shakes her head. “Zees will never work.”
Gina doesn’t seem too surprised to see a strange Frenchwoman standing on the lawn. (When you’re goofy from a love spell, not much surprises you.)
“Gina,” I say, “this is Fifi. She’ll be helping you get ready for the wedding.”
Gina smiles dreamily. “It’s my wedding day, and I’m so in love!”
Fifi nods. “And we will make you into a beautiful bride. But zose eyebrows! Sacre bleu!”
Fifi turns to me and asks, “How long before ze wedding?”
“It’s this afternoon.”
“We will need every second!” She leads Gina into the house and shuts the door.
Sunny, Paige, and I exchange worried glances—and then we run.
School starts in five minutes!
The bell is ringing when Paige, Sunny, and I skid through the school’s front doors. We made it!
Well, actually, we’re about twenty seconds late. But who’s counting?
Principal Nazarino, that’s who. Katarina squeezes deep down into my pocket as the principal marches up to us and yells, “You’re late! And do you know what happens when you’re late?”
Usually, detention is what happens, but Nazarino seems like she’s in an extra bad mood this morning, so it could be anything.
Before we have a chance to find out, the school secretary, Mrs. Fleecy, sticks her head out of the office. “Principal Nazarino! We still haven’t found a substitute for Coach Overdale.”
The principal snaps, “Girls, get to class instantly!” And she disappears into the office.
Saved!
In my morning classes, all I do is think about the wedding. If this goes on much longer, I’ll flunk out of school, for sure.
Later, as I hurry down the hallway to meet Sunny and Paige for lunch, Mr. Griffith stops me. “Lacey Unger-Ware! Just the girl I wanted to see!”
“I am?”
“Yes!”
He looks very serious. “I have some news about the mascot competition. The votes are counted—and it’s a tie between the Grizzly and the Bridemonsters. Congratulations on your nomination!”
“Uh…thank you.”
“Don’t thank me—thank your classmates for voting for you! During halftime at tonight’s basketball game, there’s going to be a runoff. To win, you girls need to bring your dresses and take that Grizzly down!”
I thought my life couldn’t get any weirder. And yet it just did. Not only do I have to plan a wedding and play in a basketball game that I don’t deserve to play in, but now I have to participate in a mascot competition. At least I have a good excuse for why we can’t do the runoff. I say, “I’m really sorry, Mr. Griffith, but we don’t have the dresses anymore. They got sent back to where they came from.”
Mr. Griffith shakes a finger at me. “Don’t give me any excuses. Your peers have given you this wonderful chance, and you can’t disappoint them. I don’t care if you have to wear a dress made out of your mother’s sheets. You will be there!”
“But, Mr. Griffith!”
“No buts! Be there!” He walks away.
Whatever Mr. Griffith says, the Bridemonsters will not be making a halftime appearance. No way, no how.
Paige and Sunny are waiting for me at a corner table in the cafeteria, and I tell them about the runoff (and how we’re not doing it).
Sunny is bummed. “Being the mascot would have been cool. Lacey, you’re on the basketball team. And Paige, you’re a cheerleader. It would have been something for me to do. Can’t we try to do it?” She turns to me and says, “You could magic up the wedding dresses again.”
I tell her, “I feel bad, but there’s just no time. The wedding is way more important.”
“You’re right.” Sunny sighs. “But still…”
I take Katarina out of my pocket and hide her behind a milk carton so she can join in with the wedding planning—there’s so much noise that nobody but us can hear her.
She peers past the carton into the cafeteria and holds her nose. “It’s disgusting in here! And what’s that smell?”
Sunny says, “Lunch.”
Katarina glares at me. “This is where you’re planning to hold the wedding?”
Paige nods. “I thought the park was depressing, but at least it doesn’t smell like tuna-roni and feet.”
I ask Katarina, “You don’t think the cafeteria will work?”
“I didn’t say that. I once transformed a sewer in New Jersey into a lovely, sun-dappled beach.”
“Why were you in a sewer?”
“I’m saving that story for my memoirs. But believe me, it smelled better than this place.”
I point at the corner next to the soda machines. “The minister can stand there. I’ll add a white carpet, roses, and stained-glass windows.”
The girls look around, trying to picture where everything will go. I tell them, “Trust me, it’ll be great!”
“What’ll be great?” Martin Shembly asks, sitting down with h
is tray. We were so busy imagining the wedding that none of us saw him walk over. Katarina, with no chance to hide, can’t do anything but freeze like a statue.
Martin stuffs a fistful of french fries into his mouth and looks right at her. “Awesome action figure!” Before I can stop him, he picks Katarina up and peers at her frozen expression. “The detail is amazing! Look at her mean little face. What universe is she from? Not Narnia. Not Lord of the Rings. Not Harry Potter.”
He starts yanking on her hair. “Is her head detachable?”
I reach over and grab her away from him. “No, it’s not detachable! You’re going to break her. I mean…it!” I put Katarina in my pocket and change the subject by telling Martin, “Great violin playing this morning.”
Sunny, trying to be helpful, says, “My mom really liked it!”
Martin smiles at her, and I suddenly realize—he’s sort of cute. Not Scott Dearden cute, but not a troll, either. He asks Sunny, “So your mom’s really going to marry the coach? Tough break!”
Sunny says, “I think he’s nice!”
“Yeah, if you like running laps and doing push-ups.”
Sunny looks worried—she hates push-ups.
But Martin tells her, “You can get out of it. I get out of gym all the time. I learned how to fake a hamstring injury on YouTube.”
Sunny says, “Really?”
Martin grabs his leg, groans, and falls off his chair with a thud.
Sunny says, “You’re weird!”
But she can’t help laughing.
I somehow make it through my afternoon classes, no thanks to Katarina, who keeps whispering from my pocket, “Do you think I have a mean face?”
I ignore her the first couple of times, but then she starts kicking me. “Answer me! Do you think I have a mean face!”
“That’s just Martin’s opinion.”
“I’m not mean! How can he say I’m mean? Next time I see that boy I’m going to put an itching spell on him.”
Nope, she’s not mean at all.
The last bell finally rings, and I race out into the hall to meet Sunny and Paige at the cafeteria. The kids in the hallway are strangely subdued, especially for a Friday afternoon—nobody’s running and shouting or banging their lockers like they usually do.
The Magic Mistake Page 10