Married This Year 3: Adventures In Hiring

by Tracey Pedersen

  “Oh my god I’m so embarrassed! No, I haven’t hurt myself. My skirt caught on the seat and I suddenly had a huge muscle spasm in my shoulder. I don’t even know how I jerked over in the chair like that. I’m so sorry—you must think I’m nuts.”

  Cooper patted her shoulder. “You’re the least nuts of a large group that we’ve seen over the last few days. Please don’t be embarrassed. We want you for this role and falling off your chair isn’t going to change that.”

  “Thank you so much. You won’t be sorry. I promise I’m not overly clumsy.”

  When Tiffany had been safely delivered to her car, Emily returned to the door of the conference room. “We don’t need to go through the sheets do we? She’s the best we’ve seen for the purchasing department.”

  “We should still do the sheets though. Stops anyone saying there was favouritism or something down the track.” She filled in her sheet as fast as she could without sitting down in her chair. He glanced at it and compared it to his before nodding his head. “Great, we’re in agreement.”

  She quickly moved to the door, letting him know she had a safety meeting to attend. She hoped he wouldn’t mention the things that Andrew had said. They’d been doing so well these past weeks. Now the bird had made it awkward.

  Well, you shouldn’t have taught him to say those things!

  ***

  “I think we should postpone this one.”

  “We can’t. The guy is already here. Let’s just see what kind of candidate we’re likely to get, okay?” They were in Cooper’s office, waiting for Sasha to let them know that their first pick for the operations manager role, Bill Gibbons, had arrived. “He could be great and blow you away.”

  “Maybe. I don’t think we’re ready for him, that’s all.”

  “I’ve taken that on board. If he doesn’t turn out to be great, we’ll concentrate on the other positions. By the way, I’ve been thinking about the sales manager position.” She reached behind her and pushed the door closed as she heard Andrew screeching on his stand. “I have no experience in hiring sales people, do you?”

  “Some. Not a great deal.” He admitted.

  “Right. I think one of the reps we already have should be considered to be promoted to the sales manager job.”

  “Sounds fair. Can we advertise it internally and have people apply?”

  “You took the words out of my mouth.” The phone on Cooper’s desk rang and Sasha announced the arrival of Mr Gibbons as Emily opened the door. “You meet him there, I’ll be two seconds. I’m going to get Jenny to put the job out today via email.”

  Bill Gibbons was a stocky man who wore an impeccably cut suit and sported a severe crew cut. As they spoke to him they got the impression that he was a no nonsense type of man, who would not take kindly to people questioning his authority. His work history was varied and he had been an operations manager for the better part of twenty years. Emily felt there was something about his manner that might not fit in with their culture at Simpsons Stationery. She let Cooper take the lead throughout the interview, too, since it seemed he preferred speaking to Cooper than her.

  When he left she waited for Cooper to return, for once not eager to escape. After that interview she was sure that Bill Gibbons was not the man for them.

  Cooper closed the door and sat opposite her. “So, thoughts?”

  “I didn’t like him.”

  “That’s very personal of you. How about for the role?”

  She blushed and made a face at him. “I meant for the role. He seems a bit, what’s the word? Mean.”

  “You’re right. We need someone more personable. Possibly someone who doesn’t mind actually speaking to a woman or making eye contact with her?”

  “It wasn’t my imagination, then? He didn’t want to be questioned by me, did he?”

  “That’s how it appeared. You have a high ratio of female staff on this site. I don’t think he’s your guy.”

  They filled in their scoresheets, going through the motions so there would be a record of their decision. As Emily got up to leave, Cooper said, “Maybe we should have introduced him to Andrew. He could have told him, ‘Bill isn’t coming back!’”

  She laughed and turned back, watching him smirk at her discomfort. “I’m sorry about the bird, Cooper. He just says any old thing and I really can’t stop him”

  He smiled at her. “Don’t worry, I know it’s not personal, though it’s kind of freaky his word choices, isn’t it?”

  “You should try waking up in the middle of the night to hear him chatting to himself. I’ve been convinced more than once that someone was in the house. He even whispers; it makes him seem positively human.”

  If only he’d whispered earlier when he was telling all my secrets.

  ***

  At four o’clock the last thing Emily wanted to do was sit through another interview. She’d had a busy day, running from task to task and it looked like she’d be taking work home again tonight. When she went to the conference room Cooper was ready, looking like he’d just had a luxurious two-hour nap.

  “Why do you look so chirpy?’

  “Maybe because I have a normal workload and am not running myself ragged every night.”

  “You don’t fool me. I’ve seen those spread sheets you’ve created since you’ve been here. Those things take hours—you have to be doing them at night since we’re keeping you busy all day.”

  “True, but I don’t count that as work too much. I enjoy it. Besides, what else do I have to do? Ed insisted I stay in the hotel even though I have a perfectly good house not that far away.”

  “You still live by the beach?”

  “I do. I’m missing it, too. It’s worth the drive just to be able to wake up to the salty smell of the ocean. Anyway, who’s last on the list today?”

  “Lucy Jones will be here in a few minutes. She’s the one who wrote a note on her resume that she was interested in either the customer service job or the purchasing role.”

  “She’s keen.”

  The door opened and Sasha announced Lucy’s arrival. She stepped aside and one of the most beautiful women Emily had ever seen swept into the room. The door closed and they caught sight of Sasha rolling her eyes before it shut completely.

  After the initial pleasantries they found that Lucy did most of the talking. One question could get her chattering away for minutes on end without appearing to take a breath. Cooper seemed rapt in her answers and made furious notes on his computer as Emily watched with an interested smirk.

  “Uh… would it be possible to get a drink of water?” Lucy’s round eyes blinked at Cooper.

  “Of course. Let me get you one.” He jumped from his chair and headed for the door. “You keep talking, I won’t be long.”

  The door clicked shut and Lucy turned to Emily. “He seems so lovely. What a shame he’s not a full-time employee here.”

  “Yes, a real shame.”

  “Do you know if he’s single? He’s dishy!”

  “Pardon?”

  “Is he seeing anyone? Do you think I have a chance? Since we wouldn’t be working together, it would be okay.” It wasn’t a question—she didn’t appear to be asking for permission.

  “That’s something you’ll have to pursue outside this interview, I’m afraid.”

  Manicured fingernails tapped on the table and Emily decided in that second that Lucy Jones would get a job at Simpsons Stationery over her dead body.

  “I’ll have to make sure I—” Cooper returned with the water and handed it to her. “Thank you so much. That was so sweet of you.” She definitely batted her eyelashes that time and Emily felt a flush creep up her body. “I just want you to know, Mr Jackson, that I’ll do anything to secure this role.” More eyelash flickering. “If there’s anything that would guarantee me the position, I’d be more than happy to oblige.”

  Is she suggesting what I think she is?

  The eye contact Lucy was lavishing on Cooper was uncomfortable to watch and Emily
had had enough. She quickly wound up the interview and made sure she was the one to escort Lucy downstairs. As she said her goodbyes Lucy slipped a piece of paper into her hand. “Can you give this to Cooper? I don’t know if you saw it but I definitely got the vibe that he wanted my number.”

  She handed it back with her best icy stare. “We have your resume Ms Jones. If Mr Jackson,” she emphasised his name, “wants to call you he can get the number from there.”

  She stomped back upstairs, cursing the day she’d ever laid eyes on Cooper Jackson. Why should she care if he dated Lucy? What difference would it make to her if he started seeing someone?

  A whole damn lot of difference, if she were to be one hundred percent honest with herself.

  Cooper met her at the conference room door. “Phew! How was her form? Was she offering to sleep with me, just to get a job in customer service?” he laughed loudly and Emily stared at him.

  “You weren’t interested? You seemed captivated by those lashes.”

  “Hell no! She’s totally not my type. Waaaaay too brazen for me.”

  “She asked me to give you her number but I refused. I told her we have it on her resume so she’ll probably be waiting for your call.”

  He laughed again and they walked toward their offices. “She’ll be waiting a very long time for that call. I assume she’s a no on your list of applicants?”

  “She’s a big no. Anyone who subtly propositions the person interviewing them isn’t going to work here.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Faintly, from the direction of her office, Emily heard Andrew start up. “Cooooooperrrrrrrr can’t be trusted!” he sang out as she coughed and tried to cover the sound.

  “You talk to the bird at home quite a bit, huh?”

  ***

  “Shhh… Andrew. People are working.”

  “Don’t shush me! I’ll tell your father!” he squawked, bobbing up and down on his perch.

  “Andrew, please. Cooper might send you home.”

  “Cooper, schmooper.” He shrieked, and then he was off, saying all the phrases he knew as fast as he could, and all at the top of his voice. “He broke my heart, he’s not coming back, he’s a bad man, Cooper is gone. Gone in the head. Gone from the bed. We’ll burn the bed Andrew. Andrew is better than Cooper. Cooper smells. Cooper is poop. Cooper can’t sing. Andrew can siiiiiiiing!”

  Emily squeezed her eyes shut. She’d brought Andrew to work dozens of times over the years and he usually sat happily in the corner telling the girls he loved them and asking them to fill up his seeds. This time he’d decided to repeat every word she’d ever said to him about Cooper. Good and bad.

  Chapter Nine

  Emily felt bad about leaving Andrew at home the next day, but with the office bubbling away on their newest gossip, she didn’t want to risk a repeat of his naughty antics. Cooper had kept his good humour about it, but there was only so much one person could bear before they didn’t find it funny anymore. With her days filled with interviews and every interruption imaginable, Emily didn’t need the distraction the bird offered, anyway.

  She was the first one to arrive in the office and she enjoyed an hour of peace and quiet before the day truly began. When she was summoned to reception to collect their first interviewee she smirked at the conversation she overheard.

  “I had to bring my cat along since I’m having a real estate inspection today and I need to hide him from the agent. He’s not on the lease yet, so they can’t find him there.”

  Sasha’s uncertain voice carried around the corner. “Uh okay. Just pop him here under my desk. He won’t do anything disgusting like spray me will he?”

  “Oh no dear. I brought him in the cage so he can’t get out. He’s been desexed and he quite likes women, anyway. He’ll be quiet as a church mouse and I’ll get him back just as soon as I can.” He pushed the carrier under her desk and stood up with a worried expression. “You don’t think this will reflect badly on me here, do you, because I’m essentially lying to my agent?

  “I won’t tell if you don’t,” Sasha said, and she winked at him as Emily walked around the corner.

  “I imagine leaving your pet in the hot car while you come in for a job interview would reflect a lot worse on you than tucking him under our receptionist’s desk,” she said as her first victim of the day paled in front of her. “Don’t worry,” she waved for him to follow her upstairs, “it’s fine. She had to look after a baby last week, I’m sure she can manage your cat.”

  They kept the interview short and an hour later escorted him downstairs to collect his adored pet. He’d talked about the cat way too much while he was with them and it soon became apparent he wouldn’t be a good fit for their team.

  As soon as he was out the door, Cooper started up the stairs and leaned over the bannister to talk to Emily. “Both the other interviews are scheduled after lunch. How do you feel about discussing improvement plans for Simpsons that you can implement once you’re fully staffed?”

  “No problem. Let me just get a drink of water and I’ll be right up.”

  They spent four hours going over the business goals that were already in place and the ten-year plan the directors had published as their upcoming vision for the company. Cooper was impressed with the details that had been recorded against the goals and he suggested only a couple of tweaks, much to Emily’s relief.

  She’d had a loose plan in the back of her head that as soon as they had a full complement of staff, they’d get straight back to implementing their long-term plans. Of course, that would be up to the new operations manager. She’d be firmly back in her human resources box when that happened, and probably wouldn’t have as much of a say anymore.

  The phone rang in the conference room and Sasha announced their one o’clock appointment had arrived. Trixie Smith appeared nervous as she sat across from them and Emily eventually asked her if everything was okay.

  “I’m so sorry if I seem a bit flustered. This is my third interview today and they’ve been kind of crazy.”

  “In what way?”

  She bit her lip, “I’m not sure if I should say. It’s not usual interview conversation.”

  “No pressure,” Cooper said. “We’ve had some pretty interesting experiences ourselves recently.” He smiled at her and watched as she did a good job of pretending she had relaxed. Her fingers tapping the side of her chair said otherwise, though.

  “Well, the first position today was not what it was advertised as and when I left the gentleman interviewing insisted that he would drop me wherever I wanted to go.”

  “Wow, that’s bad. You poor thing.”

  “Yeah. I caught the bus but he sat with me at the stop until it arrived. It shook me up a bit, I have to confess.”

  “I promise that’s not going to happen here. We pride ourselves on being professional.”

  She visibly relaxed and they launched into the interview. Trixie was interesting and gave appropriate answers to all the questions. By the time they were finished she was joking with them and any sign of her previous nervousness was gone.

  As they shook her hand at the door Cooper said, “Did you want to tell us what happened to you at your second interview that was so bad?” he laughed.

  She stepped out of the conference room and smiled at them. “You won’t believe it. The interviewer wanted to read my palm!”

  ***

  True to form, the last applicant of the day was the one that left them both reeling from the experience. Jack Steele settled himself in the office and appeared enthusiastic about the sales position he was interviewing for.

  “Your resume says you’ve worked in sales ever since you left school. That’s a long time to be in one type of role.” Emily asked the first question.

  “I really like sales. I like being out of the office, meeting the customers, almost becoming their friends, if you like.”

  “Do you want to advance from the salesman role at any point?”

  “Not at the moment. Th
ere’s a whole lot of paperwork and red tape once you’re managing other people. I think I can leave that for a few years yet.”

  “Our role would require you to travel. You’ll be away most weeks for at least three days. Is there any reason that would be a problem for you?”

  “Oh, hell no!” Emily felt the familiar tap on her foot. “The more time spent away from home the better, you know. I can’t be nagged by the wife if I’m not there, can I?” He laughed at his own statement and eagerly awaited the next question. From the look on his face he thought he was acing the interview.

  “Is there any reason we shouldn’t hire you?”

  “I can be loud and boisterous at the office Christmas party!” he laughed again and slapped his knee before becoming serious again. “You do have a Christmas party, right? Everything put on by the company?”

  Cooper shifted in his chair and Emily tried hard not to smirk. After sitting through so many interviews with him, she was intimately familiar with his body language. The fact that his body language often said he wanted her to give in and go home with him was irrelevant. She could tell he’d had enough of this interviewee and would soon wind up the questions. Unfortunately Jack didn’t have the same advantage and he continued speaking, unaware what he was doing to his chances of employment with Simpsons.

  “Do you guys do Friday drinks? My last employer put drinks on for us every Friday afternoon and it was a great way of bonding with the team. If you don’t have it, you should.” He grinned at Cooper, “Of course I have to get a taxi home those nights. Being responsible and all after I get hammered is something I’m great at. Doesn’t impress the missus the next day when she drops me back, but I’m all about safety.”

  “That’s good.” Cooper’s tone said he was giving anything but a good impression. “Do you have any other questions for us? Something we haven’t covered?”

  “Well, you didn’t answer my question about the Christmas party.” He looked straight at Cooper. “Is it paid for by the company?”