She was such a generous lover. He had never known any other woman decimate his control the way Marnie did. The thought set off an alarm bell inside his head. He did not need her, Leandro assured himself. Sex with her was amazing, but he had enjoyed great sex with other women before her and undoubtedly would have other mistresses in the future who gave him as much satisfaction as Marnie did.
Determined to prove that he was the master in their affair made him exert iron control over himself as he possessed her with hard, rhythmic strokes, thrusting into her over and over, until she gasped his name and climaxed hard, curling her fingers into his shoulders as her body shuddered with the force of her release. He waited for her to come down and then rolled her onto her stomach and thrust into her again, satisfaction surging through him when she buried her face in the pillows to muffle her cries as he drove her to another orgasm.
Only then did he permit himself to come. He threw his head back and could not restrain a harsh groan in the ecstasy of release.
Afterwards, as Marnie curled up against him and he idly stroked her hair, Leandro assured himself that his orgasm had been so intense because he had made himself wait. He had proved that what he had with Marnie was not special—it was just very good sex.
Pleased with his evaluation of their affair, he got up and strolled into the bathroom. Returning to the bedroom a few minutes later, he took a package out of his briefcase and handed it to her.
‘Open it,’ he instructed when she looked surprised. ‘It’s a present.’
Marnie’s heart leapt. Had Leandro belatedly remembered their one-year anniversary? She pulled off the paper wrapping and stared at the book, titled Stargazing for Beginners.
‘I remembered you mentioned when we were on the yacht in France that you were interested in the stars and planets, and I thought you might find the book useful,’ he said casually.
Marnie tried not to feel disappointed that Leandro hadn’t given her a more personal gift. A book was not very romantic, and he hadn’t mentioned their anniversary, but she reminded herself that he had thoughtfully chosen a gift he believed she would like.
‘The book is great, thank you,’ she murmured.
She swung her legs off the bed and pulled on her robe before walking over to the dressing table and picking up her hairbrush. Her nerves felt on edge. It seemed churlish to explain to him that she had read a similar book on basic astronomy when she was fifteen, which had inspired her to gain a degree in the subject. However, she could no longer put off telling him that she had been offered an internship with NASA in America.
She took a deep breath. ‘Leandro, we need to talk.’
‘Mmm?’ He was checking messages on his phone and gave her a brief glance. ‘I expect you want to tell me about your cousin’s wedding. Did it go off all right?’
‘Yes, it was lovely.’ Marnie allowed herself to be distracted from the conversation she needed to have with him. ‘My aunt and uncle were disappointed you couldn’t attend. Aunt Susan invited us to visit them in September. She offered us the use of their beach house and I thought we could stay for a long weekend.’
‘Unfortunately it’s impossible. I’ll be in Florence for the whole of next month.’
She stared at him. ‘This is the first time you’ve said that you will be going abroad again.’
He shrugged. ‘I have a busy schedule. I can’t keep you up to date on all my business trips.’
‘It is for business, then?’ She heard the sharp note of suspicion in her voice and sickeningly recognised that she sounded like her mother.
Leandro’s eyes narrowed and Marnie sensed he was irritated by her questions.
‘Of course my trip is for business reasons. I recently bought a derelict theatre there and I intend to oversee the renovation work.’
Leandro walked over to where Marnie was sitting in front of the dressing table and pushed aside the edge of her robe. He bent his head and traced his lips along her collar bone.
‘I want you to come to Florence with me.’
Her heart leapt. ‘You mean visit you while you’re staying there?’
‘I mean come and live at my villa with me. The house is very beautiful. As a boy I spent happy times there with my mother and grandparents.’
Those few weeks he’d spent in Florence every summer, away from his strict father and the soulless apartment in New York, were the happiest memories of his childhood, Leandro brooded. He had never taken any of his previous mistresses to the house that had such emotional ties for him, but he was confident it would not overstep the boundaries of his affair with Marnie if he took her to Villa Collina. The alternative would be for him to have to waste time at weekends travelling between Florence and London to visit her.
She looked uncertain, and he guessed the reason. ‘I realise you might not be allowed to take a month off from your job at the bar, but I’ve been thinking that it would be better if you did not work at all. It would be convenient if you were able to travel with me.’
‘Convenient?’
The word intruded on Marnie’s pleasure that Leandro seemed to want to deepen their relationship and was asking her to accompany him when he went away on business trips. Her heart sank as she tried to guess how he would react to her news, and she wished she had been more open with him.
‘The reason I can’t go to Florence with you is not because of my waitressing job,’ she blurted out. ‘In fact I have already handed in my notice at the cocktail bar.’
Leandro raised his brows. ‘Then what’s the problem?’
‘I... I’ve been offered a place on a postgraduate internship programme, studying astrophysics at NASA’s research centre in California. It means that I’ll have to live in America for the next nine months.’
CHAPTER FOUR
AS THE SILENCE stretched between them the ticking clock sounded deafening.
Leandro stared at her as if she had grown a second head. ‘I’m not sure I follow you. Why would the American National Aeronautics and Space Administration be interested in a waitress?’
Pride bubbled inside Marnie. ‘I only worked part-time at the cocktail bar. For the rest of the week I attended university in west London. I received my exam results while you were in New York and learned that I’d gained an honours degree in astrophysics.’
‘Clearly congratulations are in order,’ Leandro said slowly. He shrugged. ‘I had no idea you were studying for a science degree. Why did you keep it a secret?’
‘I wasn’t at all confident that I would pass my final exams, and if I had failed...at least only I would have known.’
She stumbled over her words, feeling shy as she revealed a part of herself that she had deliberately kept hidden from Leandro because her dream was so important to her and she was afraid that he wouldn’t understand.
‘Everyone I’ve ever told about my desire to have a career in astronomy has said that I don’t stand a chance. My mother told me I should train for a “proper” job, and even the teachers at school didn’t believe that I was clever enough to go to university. The school I went to wasn’t renowned for producing high-achievers, and I was seen as an oddity because I was the only girl who didn’t muck about in science classes.’
‘I still find it odd that you withheld from me what is obviously an important part of your life.’
Marnie told herself that Leandro was not sounding hurt. How could he be when he had set the rules of their relationship and had discouraged any discussion about their personal lives? She had not imagined that he had always maintained an emotional distance from her.
‘I’m not the only one to withhold things. You have never told me the reason for your frequent trips to Paris.’
‘I don’t feel obliged to give you an explanation,’ he dismissed, with a cool arrogance that stirred her temper. The photo in the newspaper of
him and Stephanie Sedoyene still bothered her.
‘A few days ago it was the first anniversary of when we became lovers,’ she said tremulously. ‘Doesn’t the fact that we have been together for a year give me the right to ask why you spend a weekend in Paris every month...and who with?’
The words had tumbled out before she could stop them. In her mind she heard her mother, shrilly accusing her father of being unfaithful, and she clamped her lips together to prevent herself from asking Leandro about his relationship with the French model.
‘The right?’ he said softly, dangerously. ‘If you were my wife I concede that you might have the right to question me, but you are not and never will be my wife. You are my mistress.’
Leandro’s words dropped like pebbles into a pool, causing ripples to disturb the smooth surface. Tension knotted in the pit of Marnie’s stomach. She stood up and turned to face him, conscious of her heart beating painfully hard beneath her ribs.
‘I am not your mistress.’
He frowned. ‘Obviously you are my mistress. You live for free in my house...’
‘I’ve told you often that I believe I should move into a place of my own, but every time I viewed a flat you found fault with it and insisted I should stay with you until I found somewhere suitable.’
‘I don’t believe you wanted to live in any of those run-down bedsits you showed me.’
‘I can’t afford anything better. And although I don’t pay you rent to live here I have always supported myself as much as possible. Admittedly I’ve eaten the dinners your housekeeper has prepared, but I contribute to the household expenses by buying groceries with my own money—as well as the vodka for your martinis and your favourite Russian caviar.’
‘What about that designer dress you wore to the party?’
Leandro rarely bothered to check his household expenditure. He was unsettled by Marnie’s assertion that she had contributed towards her living costs. His previous mistresses had been happy for him to pay for their keep, and he couldn’t understand why she wanted to be different.
‘I paid for the dress out of my savings, and I have always paid for my clothes and personal items with my wages from my waitressing job. I’ve never used the credit card you gave me. I wouldn’t want to lose my independence. It would be a fundamental change in our relationship.’
‘“Our relationship”?’ Leandro’s jaw hardened. ‘We are not in a relationship.’
Marnie flinched, wounded by his cool tone. ‘How do you explain what we have, then?’
He gave a careless shrug. ‘You are my mistress and for several months we have enjoyed a sexual liaison. At some point it will run its course and we will end our affair and move on to the next chapter of our lives.’
The colour drained from her face. ‘So when you asked me to go to Florence with you it was just for sex?’
‘What other reason could there be?’ He sounded bored, and a look of impatience crossed his face when he saw her stricken expression. ‘I made it clear from the start, when you moved in with me, that it would not be a permanent arrangement.’
Marnie could hardly breathe for the pain in her chest as her heart splintered into a thousand shards. Leandro had casually dismantled the castle of dreams that she had built in her mind.
‘The length of time you have been my mistress is immaterial,’ he continued, ‘and it seems that you will not fill that role for much longer anyway if you intend to accept an internship in California.’
‘Are you issuing me with an ultimatum?’
Marnie realised that her knees were trembling. She felt sick, and her eyes burned with the effort of holding back tears. Only the prospect of utter humiliation if she cried in front of this coldly cynical man, who looked like the Leandro she loved but did not sound like him, kept her from breaking down.
‘The placement on NASA’s graduate programme is for nine months, and I very much want to go. It’s an opportunity beyond anything I ever dreamed of.’
He shrugged. ‘Then of course you should go.’
Her tension eased a little. It seemed that Leandro would be supportive after all. No doubt he had been initially shocked to hear that she had a science degree, and career plans beyond being a waitress, but once he’d had time to get used to the idea she hoped he would be pleased for her.
But she could not forget his harsh words. You are not and never will be my wife. She knew from her parents’ unhappy marriage that ‘wedded’ and ‘bliss’ did not always go together, but she was devastated by Leandro’s insistence that she was his mistress.
‘How do you feel about me living in America for nine months?’ She searched his face but found no clue to what he was thinking. ‘I suppose what I’m really asking is, what will happen to us?’
‘There is no us,’ he said curtly. ‘If you want to go to California—go. But I cannot see the point of a mistress who is not available all the time, and I have no intention of taking a vow of celibacy for the next nine months. So it would appear that our affair has run its course a little sooner than I’d anticipated and it will end when you leave for the States.’
The crazy thought came into Marnie’s head that she would tell him she would turn down the internship. The prospect of losing him, of never again being held in his arms, was agonising. But hurt was only one of the emotions churning inside her. She felt angry with Leandro, but she was even more furious with herself—for contemplating sacrificing her career dreams for a man who had made it clear that she would never be a permanent fixture in his life.
She loved Leandro, but loving him had blinded her to the glaring truth that he did not love her. If she had needed proof that she was as pathetic as her mother, this was it. But she would not allow love to destroy her as it had her mother.
She lifted her chin and met his iron-grey gaze. ‘We may as well end our affair right now, then.’ She gulped as the enormity of what she was saying hit her. How could she leave him? How could she not? demanded a steely voice at the core of her.
She tried again to reach behind the barriers he had always held in place but she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. ‘I thought...hoped...that with our having lived together for a year there might be a future for us.’
‘I have never given any indication that I wanted a future with you.’ Impatience was evident in Leandro’s controlled movements as he pulled on his trousers and wrenched open the wardrobe to take out a clean shirt.
Marnie watched him, stunned by how swiftly her emotions had gone from happiness to despair. ‘What are you doing?’
‘What does it look like?’ He sliced her with a rapier glance. ‘It’s the middle of the afternoon and I’m going back to work. We can continue this conversation this evening.’
‘What’s the point when there is nothing more to say?’ And she was scared that she would humiliate herself by admitting she loved him.
The room had started to spin in an alarming fashion. Leandro walked over to the door and Marnie was struck by the devastating realisation that this might be the last time she saw him. But he had made it clear that she meant nothing to him and she knew she had to leave him today, or risk succumbing to her weakness for him.
Her throat felt as if she had swallowed broken glass. ‘I won’t be here when you get home from work. It’s only three weeks until I go to California, and I can stay at my cousin’s flat while Gemma is away on her honeymoon.’
‘That is your prerogative.’
Leandro fought the urge to stride over to Marnie, haul her into his arms and take her back to bed, where he knew she would not resist him. He was saved from idiocy by his common sense, which reminded him that he’d had a lucky escape. When a mistress started to talk about anniversaries and the future it was time to relegate her to the past.
He saw her lips tremble and felt an odd tug in his chest. Her career ambitions were a surpri
se, and he wished her success with the internship in California. But he had no intention of waiting for her and he did not doubt that he would quickly replace her with a new mistress.
The thought occurred to Leandro that it was not the first time a woman had chosen her career over him. His mother had left him when he was seven years old to seek fame as a musical theatre star. But he had been a child then, and he had cried every night for months after his mother had left.
He certainly wasn’t going to lose any sleep over Marnie, he assured himself. The only time he had cried as an adult was when he’d read the DNA report which had stated that Henry wasn’t his son. Nothing could ever hurt as much as that. His ex-wife had brought him to his knees with her deception, but he would never allow any woman to have power over his emotions again.
He gripped the door handle and threw Marnie an indifferent glance over his shoulder.
‘If you really mean to move into your cousin’s place, leave your door key on the hall table on your way out.’
* * *
It felt like a bereavement—but, unlike when her brother had been killed, this time it was a part of herself that had died.
Marnie’s heart had felt as heavy as lead since she had split from Leandro two weeks ago. She couldn’t sleep and she had lost her appetite, and it had rubbed salt into a raw wound when she had stood on the scales that morning and discovered that she had gained another pound.
‘Dr Leyton will see you now,’ the receptionist told her.
Marnie walked down the corridor to the consulting room, where she had visited her GP two days ago to report the dizzy spells she’d been having as well as feeling breathless every time she climbed the three flights of stairs up to her cousin’s flat. She was due to fly to California in a week’s time, but before she started the intern programme she wanted to make sure she was physically fit.
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