Patrick’s heart tightened. Everything he’d ever wanted was right here. All he had to do was reach out and take it. Instead he turned away before doing something stupid, like blurting out how he truly felt.
Early the next morning all three rode up to the barn as several people rushed to greet them. Kelly was there along with Betty. Davy was fed breakfast while Patrick took the counselor across the room for a discussion.
“I can’t thank you enough for finding Davy,” she told him. “Of course this means that he’ll be losing his riding privileges for quite a while.”
“I know that and we’ll miss him. Betty, can you tell me, what’s Davy’s relationship with his mother?”
“There isn’t any. She’s lost all parental rights.”
“His father?”
She shook her head. “He’s never been named and no one has come forward. Why the interest?”
Patrick felt his excitement grow. “Just curious.” Then he rushed on to ask, “What are the chances of someone like me being a foster parent to the boy?”
Betty looked surprised. “Davy is eligible for foster care, but he’s already been sent back twice for being too hard to handle. He seems to test everyone.” She smiled. “For some reason, the two of you seem a good match.”
Cyndi came into the room wearing fresh clothes that Kelly had brought her. As soon as Davy saw her, he ran into her arms. Every pore in Patrick’s body ached as he watched them. She cared about Davy, too.
Patrick turned back to Betty. He knew that he wanted to tell her the truth. “I was abused as a child.” He cleared his throat. “Does that still make me a good candidate?”
Betty blinked and for a long time didn’t say anything. “Of course. You were a victim, Patrick. I’d say that Davy would be lucky to have you.”
Patrick looked at Davy. The kid had somehow gotten under his protective shell. “No, I’d be the lucky one.”
Cynthia didn’t want to let Davy go. The feeling of him in her arms felt so right, but she had to go. It was clear Patrick didn’t want her here. She had to say her goodbyes, then catch her plane for L.A. to meet with the movie director.
With a promise to call Davy and to write, she gave him one last kiss. “You have to promise me you aren’t going to run away ever again.”
The boy nodded. “I already promised Patrick. He said saying bad words and hitting people isn’t good.”
At the mention of Patrick’s name she looked up and her heart tripped in her chest as she watched him come across the room toward them.
Tears suddenly clouded her eyes. She hugged the boy for the last time. “Bye, Davy. I’ll see you again, I promise.”
Before Patrick could reach her, she rushed out of the house. She’d thought she could handle it, but she broke down the second she got in the car. Luckily, Kelly was behind the wheel and drove her away. She didn’t know if she’d have had the strength to do this alone.
Silently, Kelly reached over and touched her hand. “Men can be such louses. It’s just too damn bad we can’t live without them.”
Cynthia knew that Patrick was a good man. He just didn’t think he could make her happy.
“It’s too bad they can live without us.”
Twelve
It was bright and sunny the next morning when Patrick walked outside to the porch. He should enjoy it, but after the past days, the peace and quiet he’d loved so much wasn’t welcome any longer. All he could think about was watching Cyndi drive away, and the fact that he’d done nothing to stop her.
How could he? She was heading off to another life. Her career.
His chest tightened around his heart. He’d had the chance, but he’d let it all slip through his fingers. Now Cyndi was gone. He’d realized too late that he needed her desperately. Davy needed her, too.
“Staring down that road isn’t going to bring her back.”
Patrick turned to see Forest. “I know.”
“I could tell you you’re a fool to let Cyndi go, but I think you already know that.”
“She’s probably on a plane to L.A. right now.”
“You could have asked her to stay.”
“What kind of life could I offer her?”
“A life with the man she loves.”
Patrick shut his eyes. “It probably wouldn’t have worked.”
Forest leaned against the porch railing. “You’re probably right. Overnight you would have turned into your father and made her life unbearable.”
Patrick glared. “What are you talking about?”
Forest’s hazel eyes bored into Patrick’s. “Well, isn’t that what you’re afraid of, turning into your old man? It doesn’t matter that you’re one of the nicest guys I know—you think your personality is going to change.
“Look, Patrick, my old man wasn’t a saint, either. He was driven to succeed. That was all that mattered in the Rawlins family. You had to be number one at everything and screw anyone who got in your way. One day I realized I was turning into a person I didn’t like. So I walked away.” He smiled. “That was eight years ago. It was the best thing I ever did. I’m not my father because I chose a different path, just like you chose to be a good guy and not a bastard like your old man. If you were, do you think I’d be your friend?”
Patrick remained silent. Over the years he’d worked hard to control his anger, vowing he’d never be like his father. Never use his fists. “There were too many times when I wanted to hit something.”
“That’s the key word, Pat. Wanted, not acted on those feelings.”
“But what if it changes?” he asked. His heart was breaking. “I’d rather die than hurt Cyndi.”
“You raised your sisters and you never laid a hand on them. And Nora adores you.” Forest smiled. “I’d hate to be the man who falls in love with her. He’ll have a lot to live up to. You’re her hero.”
Hero? “I was pretty strict with the girls.”
“And you were patient, loving and there for them. If there were any of Mick Tanner’s traits in you they would have showed up by now.”
Patrick studied his friend. His words were like a light going on. Forest was right; he’d hated violence, especially against women. He’d worked to protect his loved ones all his life. And he loved Cyndi.
“I talked with Kelly this morning,” Forest went on. “Cyndi hasn’t left yet. That should tell you something.”
That got Patrick’s hopes up. “Where is she?”
“I don’t know if I should tell you. I promised Kelly.”
Patrick knew he didn’t deserve another chance. “I love her,” he blurted out. “Dammit. You weren’t the one I wanted to hear that.”
Forest grinned. “Welcome to the human race.”
He hesitated again. “It still would be foolish to go after her. Cyndi has a chance to land this great movie.” Patrick began to pace. “And what can I promise her?”
“Who says she can’t do both. Besides, Cyndi can handle the struggle for a while until the Tanner Forest Vineyard matures and our label begins to sell.”
Patrick shot his friend a look. “That’s a ways off.”
Forest nodded. “Our goal is in sight. And I’ve been talking distribution, local and in California.”
Patrick gave him an incredulous look.
“If you don’t go after what you want, you just might lose out.”
Patrick knew his friend wasn’t talking about business. Suddenly dread came over him when he thought about Cyndi not being in his life. He wouldn’t have much of a life.
“Where is Cyndi?”
“She’s going by the shelter to see Davy. Then she’s leaving for the airport from there.”
Patrick stopped listening and ran to his truck, all the time telling himself that everything he ever wanted was waiting for him at the shelter. Now he had to keep from blowing it.
Cynthia didn’t want to say goodbye to Davy. He’d had too many people in his life who had left him already. Somehow she had to convince him that she was co
ming back, that she wanted to be a part of his life. To prove she was serious, she was going to apply to be Davy’s foster parent. But she already knew that she wanted to adopt him.
It had taken a lot of soul-searching, but she knew now what was important. A life with Davy. She wanted a family. A movie career came in a distant second to the little boy who had stolen her heart. The only thing she couldn’t have to complete that perfect dream was Patrick.
Cynthia walked through the shelter’s doors. Another thing she was going to make sure of was that the other shelter kids didn’t go without. She had the money to help them, and soon she would have the time to volunteer her self.
Betty Moore walked out to greet her. “Cyndi, I was surprised to get your call. I thought you’d be on your way to L.A. by now.”
“I decided there was something that’s more important. I want to talk to you about Davy.”
The counselor raised an eyebrow. “Sure. Come into my office.” Together they entered the small room. “What about Davy?”
“In a few months, I’ll be relocating here to Portland. I want to be close to my sister, and I want to be close to Davy. I would like to apply to be his foster parent.” She found her hands shaking. “Kelly said that singles can qualify these days. But in time, if Davy wants me, I want to adopt him.”
Betty sat down on the edge of the desk. “Well, this is certainly unexpected.”
Seeing the counselor’s confusion, Cynthia felt the need to sell herself. “Betty, I want you to know that I’m giving up my acting career. I’ll be a stay-at-home mom and will eventually go back to school. Of course, I know Davy will have something to say about this. I mean, maybe he doesn’t want me.”
“Davy adores you,” Betty assured her. “But I have to tell you there is someone else who wants the boy.”
Cynthia’s heart sank as she forced a smile. “Oh. But that’s wonderful for Davy.” She could barely get the words past the lump in her throat. “I mean a family… Isn’t that what every child wants?”
Just then there was a commotion outside in the hall. “Excuse me.” Betty opened the door just as Davy ran by.
“David Cooke, you stop immediately,” Betty called to him.
The boy slid to a stop, but defiance showed in his young face. “No! I don’t want to stay here anymore.”
Cynthia came through the door. “Davy, what’s wrong?”
“Cyndi!” The boy threw himself into her open arms. “I thought you went away.” Tears pooled in the child’s eyes. “I don’t want you to leave me. I want to live with you.”
Cynthia looked up at Betty. Just then the shelter door opened and Patrick walked in.
“This is getting to be a pretty busy place this morning,” Betty murmured.
Cynthia couldn’t take her eyes off Patrick. Why did he have to show up? Why now?
He looked at her, but didn’t give anything away. He marched to Davy. “What’s wrong, son?”
“Everybody hates me because I ran away,” the boy told him. “Now nobody can go to the ranch and ride this week.”
As several other kids and counselors appeared interested in the discussion, Betty had a suggestion for the trio. “Why don’t we take this into my office for some privacy?”
Patrick was grateful that he’d found Cyndi, but he wished there was a chance he could talk to her alone. Now, though, they had an upset child on their hands.
This time Cyndi took a seat and cradled Davy next to her in the chair, his head against her chest. Patrick wanted them both so badly, he could barely stand back.
Betty came to Davy. “Davy, would you please go to the play area. I need to talk with Cynthia and Patrick.”
Reluctantly the boy got up and walked to the back of the room. He picked up a book and opened it.
Betty sat down on the edge of her desk. “It’s so nice to see that you both have taken an interest in Davy.” The counselor glanced back at the child. “Especially when he hasn’t shown his best side.” She turned her attention to Cyndi. “When I told you earlier that someone was interested in Davy, I didn’t tell you who it was. It’s Patrick.”
Patrick watched Cyndi’s back stiffen.
“Patrick.” Betty smiled at him. “It seems that Cyndi expressed the same interest in Davy.”
That got Davy’s attention and he came running. “You really want to be my mom?”
Cyndi nodded.
The boy looked at Patrick. “And you want to be my dad?”
Patrick nodded.
“Wow! That’s cool!”
Betty reached down and took Davy’s hand. “Come on, son, I think the adults need to discuss this. Alone.” Reluctantly the boy allowed her to lead him away.
Once they were alone, Patrick decided that he had to say something fast before Cyndi left. “I had no idea that you wanted Davy.”
She stood up but wouldn’t look at him. “And I thought you were afraid of being like your father.”
He wanted to hold her so badly, but fought it. “I was a fool to think that. It took me a while, but I realized I would never hurt a child, or anyone. I was a fool about a lot of things.”
She finally raised those brown eyes to his. She looked so beautiful that his chest ached. “What other things?”
He couldn’t back down now. Too much depended on him finding the right words. “You. I was wrong about you.”
Cyndi clasped her hands together. “What about me?”
“I was afraid of how you made me feel.” He released a long breath. “It’s been a long time since I let anyone get close. When I did, I ended up getting hurt. It was easier to push you away than to risk that again. But what was worse is that I hurt you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “I can’t make you feel for me what you don’t feel. I think Davy will be very happy with you.” She started to leave, but he reached out to stop her.
“That’s not true, Cyndi. He needs you. We both need you. I never should have let you walk away.”
“But you did.”
“Because I thought it was best for you.”
“I think I can decide what’s best for me.”
“I know that now.” He took another breath. The sound of his pounding heart was all he could hear. “I made a lot of mistakes with us. And I’ll probably make a lot more. All I know is that I love you, Cyndi. God, I love you so much I can’t think about my life without you.”
She blinked in surprise.
“I came here to find you,” he continued. “To see if you want to share your life with a rancher and a seven-year-old boy who need you desperately.” His grip tightened on her arms. “You can still have your career, but just know there are two guys who will be waiting for you to come home. Please, I need to know. Is it too late for us?”
She touched his cheek. “No, it’s not too late.”
Patrick pulled her into his arms as his mouth came down on hers. The kiss started out slowly but picked up momentum. His tenderness was a promise of how much he treasured her, how much he loved her. More tears filled her eyes.
“Oh, Patrick, I love you so much.”
“I was hoping you hadn’t changed your mind.” He smiled. “So, will you marry me? Have my babies?”
She brushed the moisture from her face. “Babies? You want babies?”
“We don’t want Davy to be lonely.” He sobered. “But if you don’t want children—”
“Oh, yes, I want your babies. And I’ll marry you.” She cupped his face and kissed him again, then again. They barely heard the door open as Davy returned.
“Hey, are you guys going to get married and be my mom and dad?”
“That’s the plan,” Patrick said. “We’re just working out some of the details.”
“So, does that mean I get to ride Daisy any time I want?”
“Only if you behave.” Patrick tried to look stern. “No more bad words and no more running away.”
“Okay, Dad.” He glanced at Cyndi. “I’m gonna be the best kid you ever had.”
Cynthia had known that first night how to give her man what he needed. Love.
Epilogue
Six days later in Wyoming, Patrick watched Cyndi galloping across the open field, her wild mane flying in the breeze, her hat held in place by a leather chin strap. The beautiful bay mare she rode responded easily to her touch.
She was a natural. He was so proud of his new bride. They’d been married three short days ago in Las Vegas, and he’d insisted they honeymoon in Wyoming so Cyndi could take the second step toward landing her prime movie role. She’d read for the part in L.A. on Monday, and at the director’s request had just now shown him her riding skills. Against the Wyoming backdrop which was to be the location of the upcoming shoot, Cyndi had not only ridden well, she looked beautiful. After watching her taking on the character of Ellie Brighten, he had no doubt that she’d get the part in Cheyenne.
“Cut,” the director yelled. “That was perfect, Cynthia.”
Patrick breathed out a sigh. It seemed that as far as the director was concerned, the part was hers. Now it was her choice as to whether she accepted it.
Cyndi climbed down off her horse and gave the reins to the animal trainer, then rushed over to Patrick.
She smiled. “Well, husband, are you ready to start the honeymoon?”
He wrapped his arms around her. “No doubt about it. But when do you start filming?”
“I have time, but I’m not sure that I even want this part. I mean I have a family—”
His finger covered her lips. “Your family wants this for you. We talked about this last night, Cyn. Davy and I can handle this.” Even though the boy’s adoption was still a ways off, Betty had assured them their chances were good. “The filming is only three to four months, and you’ll be coming home on weekends or we’ll fly here. Don’t make a rash decision because of us. I want you to walk away with no regrets.”
She touched his cheek. “Oh, Patrick, I have no regrets.”
He swallowed hard. “Oh, lady, you know the right thing to say. But I want you to do this movie. You are Ellie Brighten.”
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