Toxic

by Kathy Coopmans

  He has his moments of high stress when I see his fingers strum a surface or the tension builds in his muscles. I hate it when that happens. He hasn’t stumbled once, though. However, I’m a fixer and want to jump in and save him. It’s not my job. Not even close. All I can do is stand by him, hold his hand, and pray to God to give him the strength to fight.

  An hour later, I’m standing in front of the stove finishing up when a knock rattles my door, causing me to jump. Dixie barks and moves from her spot by my feet.

  Turning off the stove, I make my way to the door, running my nervous hands down the front of one of many surprises I have in store for Alex.

  “Hey,” I welcome him in a sexy voice, hand planted on one hip, the other on the frame of the door.

  He doesn’t speak, just takes a leisurely perusal of my face and lingers on my mouth before sliding his gaze down my neck to my chest and slowly dragging it to my bare feet.

  His shoulders tense. I breathe in his masculine scent as he stalks forward, grips me by the waist, and slams the door. He has me pinned up against it before I take my next breath.

  “You make this?” he asks, running his fingers across the tiny sequins that say ‘Idaho Diamonds’ before slipping his hands under the loose material to palm my breasts. Thumbs running across my hard nipples.

  “Yes. I thought I’d wear it to the zoo,” I tease, running my finger along the slight stubble on his jawline.

  “Right. We both know we aren’t going to the fucking zoo.” He pauses mid-speech. “What in the hell happened to your truck?” Crap, I forgot to call my dad about the insurance. I was so angry earlier when I took Dixie out to see a big dent and what appeared to look like someone keyed it down the entire driver's side. I should call the cops, too.

  Alex runs his lips up and down my jawline as he waits for an answer. I fight to concentrate. It’s a battle to put together a thought.

  “Oh, someone hit it the other morning. They didn’t leave a note or anything. Idiots. I contacted security here. They said the parking lot camera was out. Don’t get too bent out of shape; they fixed it. Doesn’t do my poor truck any good, though.” I tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, needing him right now.

  “Fuck,” he growls. “That’s bullshit. We can figure out something later for you to drive while it’s getting fixed. Right now, I need to deal with what you have on, or lack thereof. Damn, babe, I’m not going to make it to the bed. I’m fucking you right here with this apron on. Turn around, put your hands on the door, spread your legs, and show me your ass, babe.”

  I do as he says. I hadn’t planned on us going to the zoo anyway. It was a joke. One day we will. The thought of Alex Diamond at the zoo is one that has to be seen.

  This, though, is what I wanted. Ever since Alex asked me to sing the national anthem, which I’m nervous and excited about, I’ve been thinking of different things to show him how much I want to support him and the team. So, I strummed up a few ideas of things I could make. I called my mom and asked her to email me her pattern for aprons. She makes them as quickly as she goes through them with all the cooking she does in the kitchen at the B&B. I went to the store and bought some material in the exact colors the football team wears, sewed on the sequins, and had every intention of showing him and Justice. Then he called, and his stressed-out tone got me thinking this would be the best way to de-stress him. Voilà apron-turned-sexy-lingerie just to get him fired up.

  “Good girl.”

  He grips my hair, tilts my head, and takes my mouth. His tongue is demanding as he weaves it around mine.

  My breathing picks up, heart pounding against my ribs as he places his hands on my shoulders, runs them down my arms, and entwines our hands.

  “Missed you, Maria. You have no idea how badly I want you, to come here and see you like this. Wearing my team’s name on your perfect tits. Nothing between you and me besides this simple piece of cloth. Fuck, woman, you have me going out of my mind. I love you.”

  My lips tremble at hearing those words. There is so much love for me in his eyes that my knees buckle. He loves me. Those are the best words I’ve ever heard.

  “I love you, too.” I push back into him, wanting nothing more than to turn around and leap into his chest. His strong, possessive yet gentle hold on me doesn’t allow for it. He has me caged in.

  “Yeah, good to hear. Nothing means more to me than you.”

  I could stand here all day and get lost in a lifetime of promises held behind his eyes, but all I can think about right now is how much I want him inside me.

  “Alex.” My voice comes out needy and breathy. “Need you now.”

  A groan rips from his throat. I lose his hands while he undoes his jeans, pushes them and his boxers past his hips. Twisting my head into a better position to get a good look at his cock, I gasp when I see him wrap his hand around it and stroke.

  “Did this every night while thinking of you. Can’t help myself. Never have I wanted a woman the way I want you. Won’t ever disappoint you again.” His fingers dig harshly into my flesh.

  He guides me back, palms my core, and presses his thumb on my clit at the same time he plunges a finger inside.

  “Jesus, you’re soaked for me.” Alex leans down, nipping at my neck.

  “God, Alex,” I moan, back arching as he fucks me with his talented fingers. It doesn’t take but a minute before I’m coming and he’s replacing his finger with his thick erection. He slams in, over and over, pounding into me while gripping my hips. I bite my lip, spread my legs further, and feel another release dragging up from the tips of my toes.

  “Damn, you feel good. Still can’t believe all this sweetness is mine.”

  Need and want drips from his every word.

  I grind my hips, pressing my ass further into him. I can’t speak. My mind is twisting in perfect chaos, but my body, it knows what it wants, and I want him to explode inside of me and forget about work and booze.

  “Fuck,” he grunts, his dick swelling. He’s close.

  “Need you to get there, baby.”

  Sliding a hand from my hip to my core, he begins to work my clit again. Tiny and quick circles that leave desire hitting my nerve endings, sending a signal to my pussy.

  “I’ll never get enough of this, enough of you, Alex. Not ever,” I gasp out as sensation warms the base of my spine, leaving me breaking into a million pieces.

  He follows right behind me, spilling inside of me. I’m greedily bucking my hips back on our entwined releases. It sends shivers up my spine.

  “Now that we got that out of the way.” Alex pauses to trail kisses up the length of my exposed neck. “Let’s take it to the bed. We are not leaving it all day, babe.”

  I’m whirled around and hoisted up in his arms. A shocked squeal escapes me as I wrap my legs around his waist and clasp my hands around his neck.

  “Alex, your shirt.” I glance down at our connection, knowing the aftermath of our sex is soaking his shirt.

  He shrugs and quirks an eyebrow. “So?”

  “We’re making a mess all over it.”

  “Not a mess. Remnants of our love. The best fucking smell and feeling in the world.” He walks us to my bedroom.

  “You’re impossible, Alex Diamond.” I lay my cheek on the top of his shoulder, inhaling his scent. Sex and sweet leather. The best smell in the world.

  I’m tossed back on the bed, landing right in the middle. The best view for the sexy strip show happening in front of me. Alex’s large, strong hands work intricately as he unbuttons his dress shirt. His silver Rolex follows, as does every other piece of clothing until he’s naked before me. He’s already hard and throbbing again.

  “Dixie, bed.”

  I hear the jingle of her collar as she trots out of the room. Alex shuts the door and turns his attention right back to me.

  “Poor Dixie.” I pop out my bottom lip.

  “Consider it a favor.” His body covers mine. His lips trail up and down my collarbone. “Don’t want to scar
her with what I’m about to do to you.”

  “Yeah,” I moan, writhing underneath him.

  “Not going to be able to stop until neither of us can move.”

  21

  Alex

  “Say that again?” After one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had in a long time, I came to work only to bust my ass. The press and angry fans have been all over us, bitching and moaning because the team doctor hasn’t released our first-string wide receiver. I stood in front of them explaining why he wasn’t ready when what I really wanted to comment with would have been resolved with my fists. Seriously? I get their passion, but come the hell on. The guy has an injury to his leg. Give me a break already.

  And now, my nerves are drawn so tight I swear they are ready to snap. “You heard me. Don’t you do a Goddamn thing until we get out there, you hear me? Stay away from him and do whatever you need to do to keep Maria from seeing him.”

  “Who the fuck is we, Dilan? You have to give me more than what you’re telling me.” Motherfucker, this is some shit. Never, and I mean never in a million years would I expect him to call me and tell me to stay away without giving me the reason. I thought the punk was infatuated with her. Maybe lied about where he came from or some shit. A crazy man possessed. Fuck, I don’t know what I was thinking he was hiding. Deep down, I was certain it was my insane jealousy driving this and nothing else.

  “He’s dangerous, that’s all you need to know. Call you when we land.” Fucker just hung up on me. Damn it.

  Shit, Maria is off with him right now working on finalizing their project. I dial her number hoping she has her phone by her like she told me she would. I leave her a message to call me when it goes to voicemail, toss it on my desk, and rest my head in my hands. I need to find her, and yet I need a minute to collect myself before I drive home and grab one of the many guns my family keeps locked in a vault in my basement. This thought cements the fact I’ve lost my fucking mind. I’m not about to get a gun and go after a guy only to spiral right back down the slippery slope of addiction.

  My dad once told me that the thought of losing my mother or his sons was his greatest fear. He went on to say that even though he ran an empire and took risks every time he stepped foot out of our house, that it didn’t mean he wasn’t always terrified, but he never risked my mother’s life, and to me that made him as human as the next guy.

  I’ve taken a lot of risks in my life; like my father, I won’t risk the life of the woman I plan a future with.

  I’ve placed guilt on myself over a rotten piece of shit who didn’t deserve to breathe the air my cousin breathed. I’ll be Goddamned if I let things with Lance linger to where he’s a threat to my woman.

  Sliding out of my seat, I take long, steady strides toward the door. The urgent need to have her in my arms is the only thing I care about. I trust my family to take care of the rest.

  “Alex.” I press my hands to my head and grip hold of my hair as Justice stands in my doorway.

  “We can talk about whatever you need on the way to the elevator.” I push past her. The sounds of her heels trying to keep up reminds me of how fast Maria high-tailed her ass out of here in those sexy-as-sin cowboy boots that I fucked her in last night.

  “Want to talk about it?” Justice pushes the down button and crosses her arms. It’s her no-bullshit stance.

  “No. Actually, fuck no. Talking isn’t about to solve a damn thing right now.” I run my hands through my hair and lean back against the sleek metal wall of the elevator.

  “True. Getting so charged up that you’re about to blow and go off the deep end doesn’t help either,” she counters.

  I hiss. She’s right. “Who told you? Did they tell you anything about him? It’s bad if Dilan is coming out with others. Real fucking bad.”

  “My mom called me. She wanted me to check on you. It could be, and it couldn’t be.” She shrugs. “Or the family could be being extra cautious after the last incident and the fact the Idaho Diamonds are the talk of the nation.”

  “You know damn well that’s not why,” I growl and then wince at my harsh words. I use the rest of the elevator ride to calm the internal hellfire simmering inside.

  “Get the facts, Alex. Make a plan and execute it the way we were taught. It’s simple.”

  “I swear to God if what Dilan tells me sheds any dark light on Lance, that fucker is mine. It’s people like him who make our world toxic. I knew he was off.”

  We walk side by side out to the parking lot. Won’t ever admit it to Justice, but this conversation has calmed me down enough to where I can see and think rationally. She’s dead on. I need a plan and execute that fucker to keep what’s mine safe and protected.

  Justice shakes her head. “We’re here for you. Don’t forget it.”

  Liam’s mom, Baylor, pulls up next to us. Her smile is wide, and her eyes are filled with kindness as she hops out of the car.

  “Sorry, running a bit late. I swear I’ve never been on time for my yoga class.” She hustles around rambling, never making direct eye contact as she gets Rayden out of her car seat.

  “Mamamamama.” Rayden’s chubby little hands shoot toward Justice.

  The beaming smile on my cousin’s face warms my current cold and pissed-off heart. Baylor kisses both of them on the forehead and is gone. It’s not long before Rayden struggles to wiggle out of her mom’s arms. She’s only nine months old and already walking for a month or so. She’s a damn monkey climbing everything. I’ve already predicted the sweet girl is going to be a gold medal Olympic gymnast.

  “Bobobobobo.” Her arms shoot out to me.

  I take her in my arms without a second thought. I’ve always been Bo to Rayden. Never been able to decipher her baby babble.

  “Hey, Champ.” I kiss her forehead inhaling her tender baby scent. It’s full of innocence and wonder.

  She continues chattering as I walk them to their car. Justice settles her bags in the back seat, starts it up, and rolls down the windows before taking Rayden from my arms. Her shrill screams of protest fill the Idaho air as Justice wrestles around getting her buckled in. Rayden hates being constrained in the car seat. Her exaggerated wails and droplets of tears that fall down her cheeks turn me into an indulgent pussy. God, I’d strip her out of the car seat and walk her home if I could. I’m going to be so fucked if I’m ever a dad. Not to mention dad to a little girl who's the spitting image of Maria.

  Where in the hell did that thought come from? I don’t have long to process and analyze any of it before Justice hits me with a question of her own.

  “Where are you heading?” I gaze down to where she’s chewing nervously on her bottom lip

  “Stop.” I grab hold of her, pulling her into a hug before stepping back. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going off drinking. You’ve done your job and talked me off the ledge. Just take care of that precious girl.”

  “Answer the question,” Justice demands.

  “Going to the gym to get a few intense sparring rounds in.” I take a step back.

  “Promise?”

  “Yes, Mom.” I roll my eyes anticipating the punch she lays on my stomach. “I’ll go work out while I wait for Maria to call.”

  “Smart man.” She steps up into the SUV. “You can learn.”

  I flip her the bird, immediately regretting the decision when I catch Rayden trying to mimic the action. I’m still chuckling when the back end of her black SUV fades in the distance. As I turn, deciding to walk across to the other side of the stadium, my phone rings in my pocket.

  I exhale all the lingering stress when I see Maria’s bright smile and crazy bed hair with Dixie snuggled on her chest.

  “Hey.” I fight to keep my voice calm.

  “Hi, babe. Sorry, I missed your call. I had a meeting with a professor, then Ava and Scott had a huge fight.” She lets out a dramatic huff. “It’s a mess. He’s been cheating on her, and she’s devastated. I’m left to tie up some loose ends on the project.”

  “
Alone?” My feet nail the sidewalk as I wait for the answer. I sure as fuck won’t be going to the gym if it’s just her and the puke.

  “Yeah. Lance had to fly home. His uncle or grandpa, I can’t remember, had a heart attack.”

  “Babe, you okay?” It’s not like Maria to not know every single detail. Even through her stress. I’m relieved the fucker isn’t anywhere around her.

  “Just frustrated, like level one thousand verging on straight-up psycho mode. It sounds bitchy of me, but the drama with Ava and Scott irritates the hell out of me. I know I should feel some sympathy, but I’m not.”

  “Maria,” I interrupt her rant.

  “Yeah?”

  “Take a breath, babe. You’re stressing me out through the phone. Finish up your work, then get your sweet little ass to my house. I’ll make it all go away tonight, yeah?”

  She exhales loudly once again. “God, that might be the only thing that gets me through this shit day.”

  “A few more hours.” I swipe the key card to our family's personal gym behind the stadium. “And I’ve got you.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too. See you soon.”

  I wait for her to end the call first before sending Dilan a quick text asking him to check the location of Lance’s phone. I pace while I wait for him to confirm. Once he does, anxiety, stress, and rage crumble for now. I focus on a plan.

  The gym is what I needed. It was the perfect remedy. Not even booze could’ve helped me through that shit. The sight of Maria’s truck in my driveway puts a smile on my face. I’m now regretting the decision to skip a shower after forcing my body to the brink of exhaustion.

  The tantalizing aroma of pasta sauce smacks me in the face as I step in and drop my bags. Maria’s sultry, passionate voice singing a capella to an Elvis’ song stirs my cock. I want her here all the fucking time. Hell, I’ll move into her apartment if that’s what it takes. This is going to happen every single fucking night. I round the corner and lean against the wall crossing my arms silently, watching her move about.