Marriage!
He went through to the living room and sat on the sofa, the lights off. Leaning against the cushions, he let his mind wander in the dark. He realized he really did want to marry her. He never thought he would go that route again. The agony of losing Chris had been almost unbearable. If he hadn’t had Tommy to care for, he wasn’t sure he would have made it. Could he open himself up to the possibility of such terrible loss again?
What choice did he have? Risk everything to savor every moment spent together, or part now and feel as if he was losing an arm or a leg—or having a large part of his heart ripped out.
Even knowing the devastating pain that could be waiting, he’d choose to spend whatever time they had together. With any luck, they’d have another fifty or sixty years together. He couldn’t risk not spending those years with Sam. How bleak life would be if she wasn’t a part of it.
He’d ask her tomorrow to marry him. They could shop for a ring together in Savannah, and then he could introduce her to his parents as his future wife. Tommy already loved her. They would, too, in short order. Just as he did.
Already impatient for the morning, Mac rose and went to bed. He’d probably not sleep, but the sooner the night hours passed, the sooner he could ask Sam to be his wife.
Sam wished she could have slept in late on Saturday, but she only lingered in bed a short time after she heard Tommy. Rising, she went to peep in his room, but the bed was empty. She heard Charlene’s voice, so knew Tommy would be fine while she took a quick shower to wake up.
She’d had such a marvelous time last evening. Remembering their dancing as she showered, she couldn’t keep the silly smile from her face. It had been so special. And she had all weekend with Mac. She could hardly wait. She’d only been to Savannah once. It was a charming city and she’d get an insider’s view with Mac giving her the tour.
When she entered the kitchen after dressing, Charlene already had bacon frying and Tommy was mixing the pancake batter like last week, spilling a bit over the edge of the bowl every couple of swirls of the spoon. He was having a grand time and it was obvious Charlene was, too.
“Good morning,” Sam said, heading for the coffeepot. This weekend it was she who needed a huge jolt of caffeine.
“Hi. Did you have fun last night? I tried to wait up, but by eleven-thirty I was too tired.”
“I didn’t get home until way after two. Good thing you didn’t wait up.”
“I making pancakes,” Tommy said proudly.
“So you are,” Sam said, walking over to give him a quick kiss on his cheek. “Looks good.” She glanced at her sister. “Thanks for watching him while I dressed.”
“He’s no trouble. We had fun last night. Alice and I popped popcorn and then we all watched a Disney movie. He was out like a light before it ended.”
“Then you and Alice talked more about your quilts?”
“Yes. We are excited about our classes—they start next weekend. And we’ll have one on Wednesday nights. With her background in teaching adult education, she’s given me lots of great ideas. I can’t believe all this. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming.”
“So Alice would participate?” Sam asked.
Charlene nodded. “With the Saturday classes. Maybe Wednesdays, too, after next semester when her teaching assignment is up.”
“Or if you have daytime classes, I think I have a replacement for her with Mac. If he likes Kristin, Alice and I could both be out of a job. Kristin would live in. I hated to take Alice’s job away, but Mac really wanted a live-in housekeeper cum nanny.”
“She knew the job was temporary. She’ll be as excited about this as I am,” Charlene said.
Sam sipped her coffee, delighting in the change in her sister. Nothing was mentioned about feeling awkward going out in public in the wheelchair. Not that she should feel that way, but for years, she’d scarcely left the house. It was only recently she’d started making friends in her quilting guild. Now this. Sam was amazed. And gave full credit to Mac for bringing Monica into the mix and making it happen.
When the doorbell sounded, Sam’s heart skipped a beat. She put down the cup.
“I’ll get it,” she said, trying to sound normal. But her heart rate soared as she hurried to the door.
Mac grinned when he saw her. He stepped inside, closed the door and pulled her into his arms for a long kiss. His face was cold, but that thought lasted only a second before the deep feelings she experienced each time he kissed her took over.
When they broke, she was breathing hard. She had missed him since seeing him a few hours earlier.
“Sleep well?” he asked, taking off his jacket.
He was wearing a dark sweater and dark pants. He looked enticing, dangerous and oh so sexy.
“Slept well, if not long. You?”
“No, I missed you.”
She blinked. “Really?”
He glanced into the dining room.
“Are Charlene and Tommy around?” he asked.
“They’re in the kitchen. Tommy’s helping with the pancakes. You don’t want to stand too close—the batter is being spread liberally all around.”
“That’s my kid.”
Mac reached for Sam’s hand.
“Come on, we have coffee all ready,” Sam said.
“Wait a minute,” he said. “I have something to ask you. I know we haven’t known each other for long. But it feels longer. You know what I mean?”
She nodded. She felt that way each time she saw him.
“And we get along together. Tommy is crazy about you, and you’ve been wonderful with him.”
She smiled, pleased Tommy liked her so much and that she was able to take care of a child when she had no experience doing so before.
“Samantha Duncan, would you marry me?” he asked in a rush.
CHAPTER NINE
SAM stared at him. Had she heard him correctly? He wanted to marry her?
For a moment her mind was paralyzed. She couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. Blood pounded through her, making a roaring in her ears. He had not asked her…he had not!
Then she shook her head and pulled her hand free, stepping back two steps, feeling the shock through every inch. She had never expected this. What had he said? That Tommy was crazy about her. That she and Mac were good together?
“I can’t marry you.” Her dream of living in the west flashed into mind. She clutched it desperately. She’d been planning to go west for almost half her life. Suddenly Chad’s face appeared in her mind. He’d let her down so badly. Could she trust in Mac? She wanted marriage—someday. But after she’d done what she wanted with her life. Not put it on hold again like she’d had to do when Charlene needed her.
Panic made her blurt out, “I’m leaving Atlanta. For the first time since my parents died, I don’t have to be responsible for Charlene. I can’t get burdened with a child, someone who would need care for years to come. I’ll be an old lady by the time I get to finally do what I want. That’s not fair to ask me. I can’t marry you. I can’t!”
Instantly she wished she could recall the words. Make them sound different. Tommy was a delightful child but he was young and needed parents to raise him for the next decade and beyond. She felt her heart race. This wasn’t what she had expected when she opened the door. For a moment she felt resentful that Mac had changed everything.
Mac’s expression closed. He stared at her impassively. He could have been a stranger.
“I apologize if I threw you into a panic. I misread the situation,” he said stiffly.
Sam felt as if she were standing in quicksand. Everything was shifting. “I thought you wouldn’t ever marry again. You said that once. I haven’t led you on, have I? I mean, I like being with you and with Tommy. But I can’t get married before I have a chance to do what I’ve wanted to do most of my life. Don’t you see? When would I have time for me? I can’t marry anyone!”
“I understand.” His voice was cool, his expression still closed.
>
She was in full panic mode. Yet she noticed his change—as if the lights had gone out of his eyes. It was frightening to see him so reserved and controlled. But he’d shocked her. She hadn’t expected a proposal from him.
“I told you about wanting to be a ranger,” she explained, trying to sound reasonable. She felt as if she’d explode. Her skin felt too tight to contain her. Her heart pounded. How could he ask her? He knew she had plans, goals that finally looked as if they were within reach. He wanted to change everything. How could he ask her to choose?
“You did,” he acknowledged.
“Didn’t you believe me?” she asked, wondering what she could have done differently. She hadn’t meant to lead him on. These last few weeks had been delightful but they hadn’t altered her life’s goals. She loved spending time with Mac, but she had never thought it would lead to this!
“I do believe you. I thought—never mind what I thought. Let’s forget I ever said anything,” he said.
“Oh, Mac, I won’t ever forget. Thank you. I…if things…I don’t know.” She turned and ran up the stairs. Already regretting her words about Tommy being a burden, she couldn’t tell him he’d ruined everything. Why couldn’t they have just continued as friends? He meant more to her than anyone she’d ever known. But she was wary of commitment—thanks in large part to Chad. But the past couldn’t be changed and the future she’d always dreamed about was finally in sight. Mac wanted her to give up her dream and stay in Atlanta.
Entering her room, she closed the door quietly and paced for a moment, her energy levels off the charts. Her nerves were shot. How could he? Going to the window, Sam stared out not seeing a thing. Friends, that’s what she wanted. How could he have misconstrued that?
Closing her eyes, she could almost feel his arms come around her. Feel how alive she felt when she was in them. Opening them again, she glanced around at the posters that filled her wall. Mesa Verde, Grand Canyon, Arches. She wanted so much to be part of that. She couldn’t tie herself down to Atlanta for the rest of her life.
Yet she felt as if a part of her had just died.
What now? Did they continue with her watching Tommy until he decided if Kristin would suit? It wouldn’t be fair to him if he loved her. To have her around every night.
But wait—he hadn’t said anything about love.
She frowned, replaying his words in her mind. There had been nothing about undying passion for her. About finding her so irresistible he couldn’t live without her. About loving her as much as he’d loved Chris.
Suddenly she realized what had happened. She’d recommended Kristin for the live-in position last night and somewhere along the line Mac had decided Sam would make a better live-in nanny. If they were married, she’d be home most evenings and they’d only need a daytime housekeeper. Much easier to find a daily when Alice Horton left.
Leaning her forehead against the cold windowpane, she let the sadness wash through her as the panic gradually faded. If she wanted to stay in Atlanta, never getting to try the ranger job, she could not ask for a better man to make a life with. Mac was caring for his son. Had suffered a terrible blow yet managed to move on and make a good home for Tommy. He was wildly successful in business and seemed to have lots of friends.
A life with him would be easy and fun.
But not without love. She couldn’t imagine marrying anyone who didn’t adore her. There were too many ups and downs in life to go through it with someone who only wanted her to watch his son.
Tommy is crazy about you.
“Oh, Mac, why couldn’t you be crazy about me?” she said softly.
Sam didn’t know how long she gazed out the window, the churning emotions and jumbled thoughts making time fly; or stand still. How would she ever face him again? Her heart ached. These last few weeks had been wonderful, exciting, different. But he’d changed everything with his proposal. And she wasn’t sure she could work for him anymore.
She had to introduce him to Kristin immediately and hope they clicked. If so, she’d be able to make plans for her final classes at college. Move forward toward her goal.
Her intercom sounded. They’d installed it right after the accident in case Charlene ever needed her in the night.
“Sam, can I talk to you?” her sister asked.
She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She didn’t want to move. His words echoed over and over in her mind. And her rationale strengthened with every heartbeat.
“Mac and Tommy are gone. Please come down,” Charlene said.
She crossed to the speaker and pressed the button. She had never refused when her sister needed her.
“I’ll be right there.”
“What’s going on?” Charlene asked when Sam reached the stairs. “Mac came into the kitchen and said he had to take Tommy home. Before he even had his pancakes. That didn’t sit too well with Master Tommy, I can tell you. What happened?”
“He asked me to marry him,” Sam said slowly as she descended the stairs.
“He did?” Charlene’s face lit up. “How wonderful! I didn’t know how to bring up future plans when you’ve done so much for me and all. But Alice and I have been talking about her moving in. She wasn’t sure if you’d approve, but if you’re getting married, that’ll work out fine. You won’t have to worry about me. Alice said she’d help whenever I need it. And she and I are going to be so involved with the…” Charlene trailed off, studying Sam’s expression. “What?”
“I turned him down,” Sam said, sinking down on the third step.
Charlene looked puzzled. She rolled her chair to the foot of the steps.
“Why ever in the world did you do that? Don’t you love him?”
Sam went still. She liked Mac, a great deal. She enjoyed being with him. Despite his wealth, he wasn’t arrogant or overbearing, but fun to be with. His kisses were like magic, making her feel special and cherished. She rubbed her chest where her heart ached inside it. Did she more than like him?
Stopping the directions of those thoughts, she avoided her sister’s gaze. She was not going to fall in love with Mac. She was not!
“The timing for marriage isn’t right. I want to be a park ranger.”
“Is the one mutually exclusive of the other?” Charlene asked.
“It is if he only wants to marry me to get a nanny for Tommy.”
Charlene looked surprised at that. “That was his reason for proposing?”
Sam nodded. She met Charlene’s gaze. “I’m glad you’ll have someone to watch out for you. I’m going to see about applying for a final full-time semester at college like you suggested.” The decision was easy when everything fell into place. Charlene would have enough help to stay in the house with Sam gone. And with her job and the extra income from quilting, she’d have more than enough money to support herself.
Kristin would make the perfect nanny for Tommy.
And Sam would have the job she’d always dreamed about.
Somehow she expected to feel happier about everything.
“That surprises me,” Charlene said. “It sounded so romantic, meeting at the ball, him tracking you down. Almost like Cinderella.”
“Which makes you the mean stepsister,” Sam said, not willing to see anything good about the situation. Romance was overrated. She’d discovered that ten years ago. “Besides, by tracking me down, he got me fired from my job.”
“And gave you a better one with more pay.”
Sam nodded. There was little to fault with Mac. And a lot to admire.
“I’ll miss Tommy,” Charlene said wistfully. “He’s so cute. But I guess that’s the way of things.” She turned and rolled her chair into the dining room.
Sam sat in gloomy silence for a couple of minutes. She’d miss Tommy, too. He was an enchanting child. She’d miss his father even more. Feeling as old as the mountains she planned to explore, she rose and went to their study to use the computer. She’d check out class schedules, and maybe look at job opportunities at some of the parks
she wanted to see.
Mac drove home only halfway listening to Tommy’s chatter. He felt numb. After Chris died, he’d never expected to find another woman he would want to spend his life with. Irony struck. For the past couple of years he’d been considered a prime marriage candidate. Now the one woman he wanted didn’t want him. Wouldn’t his ex-girlfriends love to hear that?
He glanced in the rearview mirror at his son. Tommy was quietly babbling to the little car he held in his hand. For a moment, Mac’s heart clutched. Sam had called him a burden. How could anyone think this precious child was not worth the effort to raise him? He’d been fooled. He’d thought the attention Sam gave his son was genuine. He didn’t realize it was just part of her job. That she was friendly with everyone and he was no exception.
He had said he’d interview the woman she was recommending, but now he wasn’t sure. Maybe it would be better to sever all ties with Sam immediately. Seeing her, knowing she didn’t care for him, would only hurt.
Not as much as losing Chris had, but pretty close. At least Sam was alive and soon to be happy doing what she wanted. He wanted to be glad for that. But he could only see the gaping hole her leaving would make in his life.
“Pancakes?” Tommy asked when they reached home. Mac hadn’t waited to see if Sam would come back downstairs. There was nothing else to say. He’d bid Charlene goodbye and brought Tommy home. Now it was up to him to fix pancakes. How he wished his own disappointment could be resolved so easily.
Once they finished eating, Mac put Tommy in his car seat and began the drive to Savannah. He’d thought Sam would be with him. He’d even mentioned to his mother that he’d be bringing someone home with him. He had hoped this last week that it would be as his fiancée. Instead she wasn’t even accompanying them. The weekend loomed long and lonely.
Monday morning Sam contacted Kristin about interviewing with Mac. The woman was delighted for the opportunity. Sam made arrangements for her to be at Mac’s office at ten and then called Mac’s secretary to confirm the time. He had obviously told her about the interview as she was expecting Sam’s call.
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