The Lopsided Christmas Cake

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The Lopsided Christmas Cake Page 16

by Wanda E. Brunstetter


  “You’d sure think so, wouldn’t you?” Shrugging his shoulders, Joseph looked toward the window. “I was expecting Thelma and Elma to be here by now. Hope they don’t have any trouble finding my place. Since it’s the only house on this road that looks like a log cabin, it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

  “It’s a crisp, clear night, so if you gave them good directions, they shouldn’t have a problem.” Delbert thumped Joseph’s back. “Try not to worry.”

  “I’ve been looking forward to this all week, and I want everything to go right.”

  “You’re one big bundle of nerves. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.” Delbert gestured around the room. “You got the place all clean and tidy, so relax.”

  Joseph smiled. “By the way, danki for agreeing to get together with Elma again. I think it should be a relaxing evening for all of us.”

  “If things don’t go well tonight, you’re gonna owe me big—maybe another meal out at my favorite restaurant.” Delbert chuckled as he went to get the hot pepper flakes from the refrigerator. He wasn’t so sure this evening would be relaxing but looked forward to eating that pepperoni pizza and drinking a tall glass of the cold cider he’d brought along. Thelma had left a message for Joseph, accepting the supper invitation and saying that she and Elma would bring a dessert. He hoped it would be something he liked and not more overly baked cookies.

  Why can’t Elma be more laid back like her sister? he wondered. She always seems so uptight. It gets on my nerves when she’s so free with her opinion. Joseph’s lucky to have found a girl like Thelma.

  “I think they may be here. I heard a horse whinny outside.” Joseph went to the window to look out.

  Delbert laughed. “I sure hope it was outside.”

  “Very funny.” Joseph opened the back door. “I’ll go take care of their horse.”

  After Joseph went outside, Delbert opened the oven door and checked on the pizza. It was a good thing Elma and Thelma were here, because the pizza was almost done. Probably should’ve waited till they showed up to bake the pizza, he told himself, but I figured they’d be here before now.

  Delbert closed the oven door and turned the oven down. Then he went to the refrigerator and took out the tossed green salad he’d also made, placing it on the table.

  One of the twins entered the kitchen. “Good evening, Delbert. The pizza smells good.” She stepped up to the stove. “I don’t mean to sound envious, but I wish we had an oven like yours.”

  “I’m sure it’s a challenge to use your old woodstove for cooking.” He stood by the table, holding the pot holders.

  “Jah,” she said, holding out a container. “Here are some pumpkin whoopie pies I picked up at the bakery today, since neither Thelma nor I had time to do any baking this week.”

  “That’s great.” Delbert now knew that he was talking to Elma. “You can set them over there on the counter.” His mouth watered, thinking about how good those cookies were going to taste. “Pumpkin’s one of my favorite kinds of whoopie pies. Course I like chocolate, banana, and lemon, too. Anything sweet and it’s all right by me.”

  Elma set the container down and turned to face him. “You certainly have a sweet tooth, don’t you?”

  “Guess I do.” He put the pot holders away.

  “Have you ever considered how much damage all that sugar can do to your body?”

  He shrugged. “Nope, sure haven’t.”

  “Well, maybe you should.”

  Delbert grunted. If this was what he could expect all evening, he might go home early instead of spending the night at Joseph’s like he’d planned. They were going fishing on Saturday and he had brought his fishing gear along, but they could always meet in the morning. Joseph had suggested they invite the twins again, but Delbert talked him out of it, saying he thought they’d get more fishing done if it was just the two of them.

  “What kind of pizza did you make?” Elma asked.

  Delbert opened the oven door. “It’s ready, so I hope Thelma and Joseph come in soon.”

  She bent down to observe the pizza. “Is that pepperoni?”

  “Yep. It’s Joe’s and my favorite kind.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Is that the only topping you have?”

  “What’s wrong? Don’t you like pepperoni?” He turned off the oven and closed the door.

  “To be honest, it’s not one of my favorites.”

  “Sorry about that. When Thelma told Joe she liked pepperoni, I figured with you being twins that you would, too.”

  “We may look alike and enjoy some of the same things, but we’re not identical in every sense of the word.”

  “What kind of pizza do you like?” he asked, studying the curve of her pretty face.

  “I really enjoy a vegetarian pizza, but plain cheese is okay, too.”

  Delbert motioned to the bowl he’d set on the table. “There’s plenty of salad, so maybe you can fill up on that.”

  She offered him a quick smile. “Maybe I will try one piece of pizza, since Joseph worked so hard making it for us.”

  Delbert leaned against the cupboard and folded his arms. “Actually, I did most of the work. Joe’s not much of a cook, so he asked me to help him make the pizza.”

  Her eyes widened. “I—I didn’t realize that. I’ll definitely try a piece, then.”

  Just then the back door creaked as it opened, and Joseph and Thelma stepped in, both smiling from ear to ear. Those two are obviously crazy about each other, Delbert mused. I have a feeling by next year at this time my good friend may be growing a baart. He stroked his own chin. Wonder how I’d look wearin’ a beard.

  As they sat around the table a short time later, Elma found herself enjoying the meal. The salad was delicious, with lots of cut-up veggies in it, as well as green lettuce leaves. She had to admit that even the pizza was pretty good. Of course, she picked off the pieces of pepperoni and fed them to Joseph’s dog, who lay under the table. While she didn’t care much for cats, Elma did have a soft spot for dogs—especially one as pretty as Ginger.

  “Would you like to try some of this crushed pepper to sprinkle on your next slice of pizza?” Delbert asked, looking at the twins. “It adds a little kick to—”

  Before he could finish his sentence, Elma took the bottle and shook a fair amount on.

  “You may want to—”

  Eagerly taking a bite, Elma felt the heat rise from her throat as she swallowed the piece of pizza. An uncontrollable cough started as she tried to catch her breath, while tears flowed down her cheeks.

  “Here, Sister, drink some of this.” Thelma handed Elma a cup of cider.

  After Elma drank some of the cold cider, she looked at Delbert and frowned. “You should have warned me that it was so hot.”

  “Tried, but you put those hot pepper sprinkles on so fast. By the time you took a bite, it was too late.” Delbert picked up his napkin and fanned Elma’s face with it, which only made her more irritated. “You only have to use a little of that stuff to enhance the flavor of the pizza. Are you all right now?” he asked.

  “I’ll be fine.” Elma brushed the flakes off the rest of her pizza. Glancing to her left where Delbert sat, Elma noticed that he had a glob of cheese stuck to his chin. Wondering if she should say anything, she kept staring at him.

  “What’s wrong?” Delbert asked, sprinkling a little more pepper on his pizza. “Why are you lookin’ at me so strangely? Are you waiting for me to choke?”

  Before she could say anything, Joseph snickered and pointed at Delbert’s chin.

  Delbert swiped his hand across it, leaving the sticky cheese on his fingers. Everyone laughed. It was then that Elma saw a splotch of pizza sauce on Delbert’s shirt, but she decided not to mention it. If someone else did, that was one thing, but she didn’t want to seem overly critical. She wouldn’t have minded getting back at Delbert, after choking on the hot pepper, but in truth, it was her own fault. For Thelma’s sake, she needed to be on her best behavior this evening.

&
nbsp; “Say, I was wondering, Delbert, would you have the time to stain our barn before winter sets in?” Elma asked.

  He added more salad to his plate. “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Maybe I’ll come along and lend a hand,” Joseph was quick to say. “With two of us working, the barn will get done faster.”

  Thelma smiled. “That would be great. We’ll pay you both, of course.”

  Joseph shook his head. “There’s no need for that. You can pay Delbert if you want to, but I’m more than happy to do it for free.”

  Delbert cast Joseph a quick glance. He shrugged and said, “Guess I can do the same.”

  After they finished the meal and the dishes were done, Joseph brought out a couple of games. “What should we play first?” he asked. “Uno or Rook?”

  “I vote for Uno,” Thelma said.

  Joseph looked over at her and smiled. “That’s what it’ll be then. Unless Dell and Elma don’t want to play that.”

  “I think we should let our supper settle a bit and then eat dessert,” Elma said.

  Thelma and Joseph bobbed their heads, but Delbert’s forehead wrinkled. He looked disappointed. Joseph didn’t seem to notice though, as he shuffled the cards and dealt, placing the cards facedown. The rest of them he put facedown in the center of the table. Then he turned one card over so the game could begin.

  “You go first, Thelma,” he said, “since you’re sitting to my left.”

  Thelma picked up her cards and studied them. “I don’t have a card to match the color or number of the one you laid down, so I guess it’s my sister’s turn.”

  “Don’t forget to draw a card,” Elma reminded.

  “Oh, that’s right.” Thelma drew a card off the pile in the center of the table.

  Then Elma took her turn and discarded one of her cards. Delbert played a reverse card, so it was Elma’s turn again.

  The game continued, until Elma had one card left. “Uno!” she shouted.

  Delbert looked at her suspiciously. “Already? We haven’t been playing that long.”

  She stiffened. “I hope you’re not accusing me of cheating.”

  “Course not,” he said, shaking his head. “I was merely making a statement.”

  On Elma’s next turn, she laid down a wild card, her last one.

  Thelma moaned. “I still have seven cards left.”

  “I have five.” Joseph looked at Delbert. “How many do you have?”

  Delbert tossed his cards on the table. “Too many, and it’s all because somebody kept playing ‘draw two’ cards that were meant for me.” He looked at Elma.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I had to play the cards I had.”

  “Let’s play again.” Joseph gathered up the cards and handed them to Thelma. She shuffled and dealt, and the game started. This time Delbert won.

  Elma won the next game and Delbert the game after that.

  Thelma looked at Joseph. “I think we’re both losing this game.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said, smiling at her. “It’s fun for us all to be together.” Pushing his chair back, he stood. “Maybe we oughta have some dessert now. Who wants coffee to go with the whoopie pies?”

  All hands shot up.

  “Do you need some help?” Thelma asked.

  “Sure, you can set out the whoopies,” he replied.

  “I’ll bring in another log for the fireplace.” Delbert pushed back his chair then jumped when Ginger let out a yip. “Sorry, girl. I didn’t see you behind my chair.” He bent down to pet the dog’s head.

  “You have to watch when there’s a pet in the house,” Elma said. “They can get underfoot without you even knowing it.”

  “I’m sure Ginger knows I didn’t do it on purpose.” Delbert headed for the door without putting on a jacket.

  While Joseph and Thelma got things ready, Elma tried to think of something to say when Delbert came back with the wood. She probably shouldn’t have said anything when Joseph’s dog yipped. Without a doubt, she felt uncomfortable around him tonight. More so than the other times they’d been together. Was there the remotest possibility that they could become a couple?

  Chapter 24

  That was such a nice evening, wasn’t it?” Joseph said after the twins left. “Thelma is fun to be with. Some of the jokes she told had me laughing so hard my sides ached.

  “She was pretty funny,” Delbert agreed. “I wish Elma were more like her.”

  Joseph’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re interested in Thelma?”

  “I didn’t say I was interested in her. Said I wished Elma were more like her.”

  “So you’re not interested in Thelma?”

  Delbert shook his head and thumped Joseph’s shoulder. “Don’t look so naerfich. I’m not gonna steal your aldi.”

  “Whew, that’s a relief! I wasn’t nervous, but I’ll admit, you had me worried there for a minute.” Joseph released a deep breath. “I do think of Thelma as my girlfriend now.”

  Delbert snickered. “I kind of got that impression. Now don’t do anything to mess it up.”

  Joseph winced. “Did I say or do something wrong tonight?”

  “Not that I know of. You and Thelma seemed to get along fine.” Delbert grimaced. “I, on the other hand, had a few issues with Elma.”

  “Really? I thought everything was going okay. What kind of issues did you have with her?”

  “For one thing, when we were playing the last game of the night, Elma made a big deal out of me not drinking my coffee before it got cold.” Delbert talked in a high-pitched tone, trying to imitate Elma’s voice. “‘Oh, Delbert, aren’t you going to drink your coffee? It’s probably cold by now.’”

  “Guess I didn’t hear her say that,” Joseph said. “What’d you say?”

  “I said, ‘Maybe I like it cold.’” Delbert shifted in his chair. “Oh, and when we were playing the games, Elma was very competitive.”

  “And you weren’t?”

  Delbert shrugged. “Maybe a little. I’ve never met a woman who acted that way when it came to playing a game.”

  “Everyone’s different, and some people take their game playing more seriously. Look how Elma choked on the hot pepper flakes you suggested she use on her pizza. Maybe you should have explained it before handing her the bottle.”

  “Guess that’s true. But she took it so fast and then took a bite even faster. I had no time to warn her.” Delbert rose from his chair, abruptly changing the subject. “I don’t know about you, but I’m bushed. Think I’ll head to bed. See you in the morning.”

  Joseph gave a nod. “I’ll be up bright and early.”

  “Are you feeling all right? You’re awfully quiet,” Thelma said as she and Elma traveled home from Joseph’s. Thelma was driving Pearl, since Elma said she didn’t feel like it.

  “I’m tired, and I’ve got the beginning of a koppweh.”

  “Oh no. I hope it’s not another migraine coming on.”

  “It’s not bad yet,” Elma responded. “I’m sure with some aspirin and a good night’s rest I’ll feel better in the morning.”

  Thelma reached across the seat and patted her sister’s arm. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

  “It was fun playing games, but I think Delbert was upset that I won so often.”

  “Most men are competitive. He probably couldn’t deal with losing to a woman.” Thelma smiled. “Delbert’s sure a lot different than Joseph. Joe always seems so easygoing.”

  “That’s true,” Elma agreed. “You’re lucky to have found him.”

  “I think it’s more that he found me. But then, Delbert found you as well.”

  “Humph! Well, the least he could have done was warn me about those pepper flakes in time. I thought I would choke to death, it was so hot.”

  “In Delbert’s defense, you did take the bottle from him rather fast, and you put an awful lot of the stuff on your pizza,” Thelma said. “I think he was getting ready to warn you, but you didn’t give him mu
ch of a chance. You bit into that pizza so quickly, even I was surprised.”

  “I was only trying to show Delbert that I was receptive to his suggestion.”

  “In any event, I don’t think the evening was a total flop, do you?”

  Elma shrugged as she sat quietly beside Thelma.

  “You seemed to enjoy petting Joe’s dog tonight,” Thelma commented.

  “Jah. Ginger’s a nice hund.”

  “She seems to have taken to you as well.”

  Elma laughed. “That’s probably because I was feeding her pieces of pepperoni under the table.”

  Thelma gasped. “You did that?”

  “Didn’t you notice?”

  “No, can’t say that I did.”

  “Probably because your focus was on Joseph all night.”

  Do I detect a bit of jealousy in my sister’s tone? Thelma wondered. If she and Delbert would set their differences aside and focus on each other’s positive qualities, they could have a nice relationship, too. Sure wish I could say or do something to make that happen.

  Topeka

  When Elma woke up the following morning, she knew there was no way she could work in the store, because her head pulsated with pain. It was even worse than the night before. It wouldn’t be good to put the CLOSED sign in the window, like they had on the Saturday they’d gone fishing with Delbert and Joseph. They had quickly discovered that for some folks in their community, Saturday was the only day they could shop. I wonder if Thelma could handle things by herself.

  Elma forced herself to climb out of bed and went into the hall to knock on Thelma’s bedroom door. She hoped her sister hadn’t already gone downstairs, because given the way her head pounded and her stomach felt nauseous, she would need help making her way down those stairs to the bathroom. She’d just made it to Thelma’s door when it opened and Thelma stepped out. “Oh, Sister, I didn’t know you were standing there. Are you all right? You don’t look so well.”

  “My headache is worse than it was last night,” Elma explained, “and I don’t think I can work at the store today.”

  “It’s okay,” Thelma assured her. “I’ll manage on my own. You should go rest on the sofa so you don’t have to go up and down the stairs today.”

 

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