by Alison Mello
“Stay with me, buddy.”
One medic is trying to save him while another starts working on my leg.
“This isn’t good, Carter,” he says, barely able to breathe.
“You’re fine. You keep those eyes open and fight, soldier. Do you hear me? You fight,” I yell at him as he’s lying in a pool of his own blood.
Another medic joins us and tries to stop the bleeding, but it’s no good. He’s losing too much. I can hear a chopper in the distance. “Hang on, buddy. Our ride’s almost here.”
He hiccups and whispers to me, “You stay strong and get our boys home safe.”
He closes his eyes and releases his final breath.
He’s gone.
I scream, “No, Brody! Come back, damn it!”
I jump up from my bed, my clothes covered in sweat. I run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I sit there for a moment, heaving as nothing else comes up. I stand in front of the sink and splash some water on my face before going back into my room.
Spotting the bottle by my bed, I grab it and start to chug it down. That’s when I hear the door to my apartment open. When I walk out to see who the fuck is coming into my house, I find my parents and Derek. Suddenly I’m full of shame for not reaching out to them. My mother gasps at how she finds me.
“Leave me be. You don’t need to see me like this,” I mumble with my head down. I walk back to my room, not wanting to face them.
“At ease, soldier,” My boss says, and because he outranks me I freeze and turn around like the good soldier I am. “I gave you the day, like I promised. Now it’s time for an intervention. You’re coming with us.”
“I’m not going anywhere but back to bed.”
“You can sleep at the hospital. We’re going to get you clean so you can fix things with Patty or you may ruin this relationship permanently. Right now she still cares and is worried about you. Why, I don’t know since you treated her like shit.”
“Fuck you, man. I don’t need your shit.”
“Oh, but you do. I’m the one thing standing between you and your job, and if you lose your job, you lose your home. You know what that will lead to, right? You’ve already started helping a few soldiers in that boat. Don’t become one of them.”
I bow my head because I know he’s right, but I don’t know how to fix this and it’s easier to numb the pain than to fight and face it.
“Your father and I are prepared to carry you out if we have to.”
“Fine, let me go change my clothes,” I say, walking away with my bottle in hand. I continue to drink it while I get dressed. There isn’t much left to the bottle, and I want to finish it off since I’ll soon be facing my pain. When I bend over to tie my shoes, I lose my balance and hit the floor. All I remember is seeing three sets of feet run into the room before I black out.
***
Patty
I’ve been trying all day to focus on writing, but it’s been totally useless. I can’t seem to stop worrying about Carter. I tried to read to clear my head, but it’s of no use. I’ve been waiting to hear from Derek, and not hearing anything is driving me crazy. The last update was that he spoke to Carter this morning. Carter promised him he would get his shit together and be at work tomorrow. Derek told me he was going to Carter’s apartment after work to check on him, and he promised to call me and let me know how it went.
It’s now six, and I still haven’t heard anything. I need to try and eat something. I haven’t eaten much all day. I make some scrambled egg whites with toast and sausage. I’m hoping a good, filling meal will make me feel better.
I sit at the snack bar with my dinner and then open my laptop to check out my Facebook page. I’m hoping to find a distraction. While I try to eat, I read various posts and comment on a few things. That’s when I see my book group had a few new book recommendations. I download them to my e-reader. My dinner is delicious, but my stomach is upset because I haven’t been able to eat well since Saturday night. I force myself to finish my eggs and toast, but I ditch the sausage. As I’m about to put my plate in the dishwasher, my phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Patty. It’s Bella.” I can hear the concern in her voice.
“What’s wrong, Bella?”
“I just got off the phone with Derek. He and Carter’s parents found him hammered in his apartment. It wasn’t good. They are on the way to the hospital with him.”
“Wait, why is he going to the hospital?”
“He passed out and fell to the ground. They were worried because he hit his head, and since he blacked out, they called 911. The ambulance came. Mia road with him, and the guys are following behind the ambulance. I’m downstairs, waiting. Come on, I’ll take you over.”
“I’m on my way down.” I snag my coat and purse and run down to her waiting car. I need to see that he’s okay, and I need him to know I’m there.
Once I’m in her car she says, “He’ll be okay, but him seeing you still care may help him through this. Derek told him that he screamed at you and that you left upset, but he had no recollection of it. He may think you don’t care anymore and that’s making it harder for him to clean up his act.”
I take a deep breath, taking in all she’s telling me. “I hope it’ll help him. I really want to see him better. I know we can have something special, but I need him to be better first. I need to know that he isn’t going to keep going down this road, because I don’t know if I can do this again.”
“I know, Patty, and right now we need to get him sober enough to realize that he has help and people who care about him. He’ll see that, and then you guys can talk and get past this entire situation.”
“You make it sound like it’s going to be easy,” I say as I sigh, sitting back in my seat.
“There will be nothing easy about it,” she says softly.
We pull up to the hospital, and she lets me out at the door. As I get out, she tells me she’ll meet me inside. I walk up to the reception desk and tell the woman I’m there to see Carter Montgomery. She tells me he’s finishing up a CT scan and that they’re moving him to the seventh floor, room seven twelve. I run toward the elevator as she’s giving me directions. I press the up arrow, thanking her as I step into the elevator. Then I text Bella the room number. When the doors open on the seventh floor, I hurry down the hall, following the directions the receptionist gave me. I find Derek waiting outside the room.
“How is he?” I ask in a panic.
“He’s pretty bad, but he’ll be okay. You can go in to see him if you want. His parents are in with him, but he’s not saying much.”
I walk into the room, and his parents are standing there, watching him as he stares, silently, out the window. He’s not saying a word, and neither are they.
Jackson sees me and says, “Look who came to visit.”
I step closer to the bed, letting Carter see me.
“What are you doing here?” He asks angrily.
“I’m worried about you.” I went from being worried to shy and intimidated.
“Carter Michael Montgomery, don’t you dare be mean to this sweet girl!” His mother says.
“It’s okay, Mia. I understand.” Turning back to Carter, I say, “Listen, I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. You know, if you want to talk.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk right now, but I’ll let you know when I’m ready,” he snaps, using my own words against me.
I bite back my tears. I don’t want him to see the hurt he’s causing me. I simply nod and look down until I’m able to speak.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I say, “Fine, but know I’m not giving up on you or us. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
I walk out of the room with my head held high as his parents give him shit about the way he treated me yet again.
Derek meets me outside the door. “I’m sorry, Patty. I was really hoping that seeing you would make him realize that he still had a chan
ce to fix this. I’m glad you made it a point to tell him you’re not giving up. That’s huge.” He places his hand on my arm. “He’s still in a bad place. Please give him some time to come around, and we’ll try again.”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve tried twice now, and twice he’s hurt me. I understand he needs help, but this time if he wants to talk, he has to come to me. I’ll be at the lake house when he’s ready.”
***
Bella has just dropped me off at home. I’m worried about him, but I’m also angry. I’m trying to be understanding of his situation, but he’s making it hard.
I go straight to my room to pack some clothes. Once I’m done in there, I move to my office next to pack up my laptop as well as my notepad and anything else I’ll need to survive at my father’s lake house. This time I don’t plan on having company, and I will make it perfectly clear that I want to be alone. I need to work and clear my head of all thoughts of Carter, at least until he is ready to apologize and try to fix things.
When I’m sure I have everything I need, I run out to load up the car. As I drive, I realize I should call my dad to give him some notice that I’m on my way back to the lake house. I need him to understand that I don’t want anyone watching over me, not even Celia. Just me and the lake house with my laptop.
I speed dial his number through my Bluetooth system, and he answers right away. “Hey, baby girl.”
“Hi, Daddy. Listen, I’m going back out to the lake house to get some work done and clear my head, but I really want to be alone. I’m telling you so you don’t worry about me, but please do not go setting up babysitters for me. I need this.”
“Slow down, pumpkin. I understand. I’ll leave you alone, but you have to promise to keep checking in with me.”
I can’t help but smile at the compassion in my father’s voice. “Thanks for understanding, Daddy.”
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m okay. A bit tired and worried.”
“Any word on Carter? I haven’t spoken to Jackson since Saturday night.”
“Carter’s in rough shape, Dad. His PTSD has him having nightmares, and he’s started drinking, which I don’t think has ever been an issue for him.”
“That can’t be good.”
“It’s not. I tried to go to the house to see him so we could talk about what happened Saturday night, but he freaked out on me. He was mean and I know it wasn’t him, but I left upset. As soon as I got in the car, I called Derek. He’s been keeping an eye on him.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s at the hospital. Jackson, Mia, and Derek found him really drunk at the house. He fell and hit his head. They had to call 911.” I sigh. “I went to the hospital to tell him I was here for him, but he got mad at me for being there. He keeps getting mad at me for not wanting to talk to him initially.”
“Aw, pumpkin, give him some time. Let him get through this, and then you two can talk.”
“Everyone keeps saying that to me,” I say in total frustration. “That’s why I’m leaving for the lake house. That way I can hopefully get some work done and he can get better. I told Derek where I was going so Carter can come see me when he’s ready to talk.”
“Well, I’ll let you know if I happen to get any updates from Jackson. In the meantime, the lake house is yours as long as you need it. Have you spoken to your mother?”
“Yeah, I spoke to her on Monday. She won’t admit it, but I think she set Carter up so that I would see that girl kissing him, hoping I would react the way I did. She wanted to break us up, and here I was thinking she was getting used to the idea of Carter and I being together.”
He sighs heavily into the phone. “When will that woman learn to mind her own damn business?”
“I don’t know, Daddy, but I’ve had enough. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her until she was willing to apologize for what she did.”
“Well, I can certainly understand why you don’t want to talk to her right now, but she’s your mother so you should try to figure things out with her at some point.”
“We’ll see. I’m going to go now because I need to get to the lake house, unload my car, and then get some food.”
“All right, but remember what I said. Check in with me, please.”
“I will. Bye, Daddy.”
I cut the call with him and turn up the radio. I need to think a little on the way there, but I don’t want to think about my situation with Carter anymore. Instead, I think about the book I’m writing and the direction I want the plot to go. Sometimes if I think about what happened last in the book, I’ll be able to come up with a new scene to write.
About two hours later, I finally pull up to the lake house. It’s getting late, but I’m happy that I have the next scene in mind. I quickly unload the car and head to the kitchen to see if there is anything left from the last time I was here. I find some canned goods in the cabinet, and I decide to make due for tonight and go shopping for food in the morning. I have some writing to do, and I’d like to get it done before I lose the idea I came up with on the way here.
I quickly put my bag in my room and my laptop in the office. I’m starving, so I go straight to the cabinet in the kitchen that had the soup. As I open the can, I can’t help but giggle to myself because this is something Carter would eat. I pour the soup into the pan, and my phone rings.
“Hey, Dad. I made it to the lake house. I’m heating some soup that I found in the cabinet.”
“Okay, great. I spoke to Jackson, and he tells me that they have sedated Carter so he can rest. Once he is sober, they’re going to get him some help, and then he’ll be in touch with you.”
“Thanks for the update, Dad. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I cut the call and go back to stirring my soup, but as I’m about to put my phone down, it rings again. This time I answer without looking. “Hello.”
“Hello, darling.”
“What do you want, Mother?”
“Please don’t be upset with me,” she whines, and it only makes me more annoyed.
“Too late for that. Are you calling to apologize?”
“Darling, I told you I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Good-bye, Mother.”
“Wait, don’t hang up! Are you home? Let’s do dinner.” She sounds panicked.
“No. I’m at the lake house, and don’t you dare send Celia here or I will send her back home. Although I appreciate her cooking for me and taking care of me last time I was here, I want to be alone, and I mean it.”
“Why are you there?”
“Because thanks to your stunt, Carter is in the hospital and won’t talk to me. I’m going to spend some time here to work on my book and think about how to fix things with him.”
“Maybe you should just move on.”
“Good-bye.” I cut the call. I don’t care what she has to say.
I pour my soup into a bowl and take it to my office to type up the chapter I’m working on while I eat.
A few hours later, I emerge from my office with another two chapters written. I feel good about my accomplishment. Now I’m going to hit the tub to see if I can relax a bit. As I’m filling the tub, I get a text from Bella.
Bella: How are you?
Patty: I’m okay. I wrote a couple of chapters and now I’m about to take a bath.
Bella: Sounds good. Do you want me to come down?
Patty: I don’t know. I’ll text you tomorrow.
Bella: Okay, good night. I love you.
Patty: I Love you too.
I strip out of my clothes and climb into the tub to soak and think about my situation with Carter. I can’t help but wonder what I could have done differently with our situation. I was really hurt Saturday night. Perhaps I should have heard him out, but I also don’t see a problem with him letting me cool down first. It’s not like I made him wait a week, but I hadn’t taken into account his PTSD and if that would affect him. I feel bad that he’s now in the hospital, but I
’m upset and hurt that he’s being so cold. I wish he would talk to me. Maybe I should send him a text message to let him know that I’m giving him the space he needs, but I’m still thinking about him.
As the water starts to get cold, I climb out to dry off. I throw on some pajama pants and a t-shirt before I go to the kitchen in search of water and my cell phone. I make sure the house is locked up and then I climb into bed, typing up a quick text to Carter before I call it a night.
Patty: I know you’re probably sleeping right now, but I wanted to tell you that I’m thinking about you. I won’t give up on us that easily. You can push me away now, but when you’re better I’ll be there.
Chapter 5
Carter
“Good morning, Mr. Montgomery. How are you feeling today?”
“Like shit,” I grumble at the nurse, pissed to be here. I look over to find my father is sleeping in a chair next to me. I lower my voice. I don’t want to wake him. I turn my head away from the nurse and look out the window.
“Yeah, with the amount of alcohol in your system you will feel like shit for a few days. We’re going to try giving you some food today, but we’ll leave the IV in in case you choose not to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You should be. Your stomach had nothing but alcohol in it, which means you haven’t eaten in a few days.”
This nurse is starting to piss me off. “Listen, I said I’m not hungry,” I growl.
“Carter, if you don’t eat, you can’t leave. Do you want to stay here?” My father asks me, and before I can answer the nurse announces that she’ll be back.
“What do you think?” I look at him with my eyebrow raised.
“To be honest, I think you’re being a jerk. I also think you need to pull your head out of your ass so you can get on with your life.”