by Matt Juhl
“I could’ve quit, but he had his mind made up. He chose to do all that nasty bullshit. How could I stop him?”
“People don’t just decide to be straight—they’re born that way. It’s not a choice. It’s who he’s always been. Father was probably too afraid to admit it. For whatever reason, he tried making a relationship work with you, but you were so horrible to him. That was probably the wakeup call he needed to get the hell out.”
Jett didn’t respond, instead, he ground his teeth together and clenched his jaw shut.
“Look, you need to wake up and accept some responsibility for pushing him away. You can’t change his sexuality, but you could’ve treated him better.”
“In case you forgot, that prick was having an affair behind my back. He’s the asshole here, not me. Pat didn’t even give me the chance to show him I could get sober.”
“You can’t quit.”
“Yes I can.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Oh yeah, and why’s that?”
“’Cause you don’t wanna stop drinking. You couldn’t even put down the bottle long enough to make it to Uncle Jimmy in time. Doesn’t it bother you that your brother died and neither of us got to say goodbye? You’re drinking’s out of control and takes precedence over everything else.”
“You’re asking for it—”
“It’s the only thing you spend money on. Did you know kids tease me at school? I wear the same things year after year, even if they’re too small, ‘cause you don’t wanna spend money to buy me good clothes. I can’t even remember the last time I owned something new.”
Jett swerved to the side of the road and slammed the car into park. “You’re just as ungrateful as your father. I should wear you out.”
“Why should I be grateful? I have a shitty home life, and you don't even care. You just get hammered and neglect everything else. At least Father could run away, but I’m stuck with you."
“And I bet you’d probably still name him ‘Father of the Frickin’ Year.’ Did you even hear what you just said? Pat didn't just leave me behind. He left you here too, Nikolas. He didn’t want you. Man up and own it. He only cared about himself and his sick perverted desires.”
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m the one who kept you, put food on the table, and a roof over your ungrateful head. You wouldn’t make it in this world without me. ‘Course none of that matters does it? Nothing’s good enough for you. You’re both so damned much alike.”
“Yeah, I am like father. I’m exactly like him. Thank God for that. He said enough was enough, and I agree. I’m not going to let you hit me anymore. If your hand comes near me, your ass will be in jail faster than you can blink. And you can clean your own filthy house from now on.”
“I’m in charge of you, Boy, and I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”
“Good, try it again and see what happens. I’m just glad I’ll never turn out like you."
Nik opened the passenger door to the truck and scooted one leg out and looked directly into Jett’s stone-cold eyes. “You really have no idea just how alike Father and I really are.”
“Oh yeah? Enlighten me.”
“I’ve also met a woman. Remember my friend, Harper? The girl I’m with ‘til all hours of the night? We’re seeing each other.”
“You’re full of shit.”
“No, I’m not. We’re gonna be together forever.”
“You think making up stupid lies is gonna put me in my place? You’re wasting your time.”
“I’m telling you the truth. I’m straight, and I’m not afraid to say it. She’s who I want to be with. I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks. I’ll work whatever job I want to support us, and I don’t care if it meets your standards or not.”
“Wonderful,” he sneered.
“I don’t care if you believe me or not, it’s true. I’m tired of trying to live up to your standards, when really you have no standards or morals. Bottom line, I’m gonna be with Harper whether you like it or not.”
“You’re throwing your life away, just like Pat. You won’t even be able to have children. Of course, what good did it ever do for me?”
“You’re so ignorant. We could adopt them, Dad. I’d raise them a hell of a lot better than you could. I’d let them decide what they want to become. I’d let them love who they want to love.” He paused, waiting for another sarcastic comment from Jett. “I’d never lay my hands on them or rob them of their innocence the way you did to me. As far as Harper and I are concerned, we won’t let anyone ever tell us we’re wrong for being together. I’ve stopped caring what everyone else thinks, especially you.” Nik smirked. “And one more thing, I might just be some queer in your eyes, but I’m still more of a man than you’ll ever be.” Nik slammed the door and raced into the darkness.
Exhilaration pulsated through his body as if his blood were on fire. He couldn’t believe how emotionally liberated he felt, racing away from his dad’s pickup truck. His uncharacteristic defiance and brutal honesty surprised both men. It was certainly a night neither of them would ever forget.
“Nikolas!” Jett shouted. His thick, rugged roar echoed into the night, calling after his only son.
The furious cry rang in his ears, competing with the sure, steady strum of his overworked heartbeat. His dad’s words slowly dissipated as the distance grew between the men.
However, it wasn’t until the rumble of the engine growled and the unnerving screech of tires burnt against the pavement that he knew Jett surrendered.
The moonlight desperately shined through the full clouds. It created shadows all along the Dark Woods, lining the desolate highway and playing tricks on Nik’s tired eyes.
He cautiously wandered into the ominous forest. While he was normally apprehensive to walk through it alone, especially at night, he’d get to Harper’s house in half the time.
Nik broke a dead limb off a tree and used it to guide his way. He waved it like a walking-cane to sift through the brush on the ground; empty soda bottles, tattered newspapers, and a large gas can soaked with fresh gasoline.
Moving swiftly through the pitch black, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. The seething glare felt uncomfortably close.
The deeper he wandered, the stronger the inkling grew. In the stillness, he heard tree branches rustling and sticks breaking. With each tiny noise, he’d look over his shoulder, but no one was there.
He continued moving, one foot in front of the other, while a haunting chill breathed on the back of his neck.
Suddenly, the rustle of crunching leaves pounded against the forest floor. Nik held his breath and closed his eyes to pinpoint the direction of the sound. As soon as he stopped, so did the footsteps.
The forest grew unnervingly quiet.
Then the unmistakable sound of a human cough echoed across the woods. It scared the hell out of Nik—realizing he wasn’t alone.
“Who’s there?”
The frantic footsteps raced faster through the trees, moving towards Nik.
He tore through the broken tree limbs, squinting into the darkness and struggling to evade the stranger.
He looked back and caught a glimpse of the full silhouette. It was hard to say if it was man or woman, all he could hear were carnal grunts. He wasn’t even sure it was human.
Suddenly, his shoe caught under an uprooted tree. He fell facedown into the forest floor. The impact instantly knocked him out.
Through the pale moonlight, the dense fog lingered over Nik’s body…and so did the stranger, kneeling down beside him and running a cold, bloody hand over his face. After getting a good look, the wanderer continued the same direction Nik was headed—towards Harper’s house.
NINE
Nik woke a short time later, lying on the forest floor in a total haze. His body was badly scraped, but he had no recollection of the chase that caused his blackout and injuries.
The night’s frigid air was unwelcoming, sending an irrefuta
ble iciness through his body as he struggled to piece together the chain of events that lead to that moment. He cautiously sat up, trying to regain his wits.
Nik struggled to his feet and hobbled from one foot to the other, pulling overgrown ivy and dead branches away from his face while he cleared a path through the muck. As he walked, he pushed through the feelings of languish, desperate to escape the woods.
Once he made his way to the clearing, Nik set off down the dirt road, taking in a deep breath and noting the distinct smell of smoke, lingering in the nighttime air. It was thick, burning his nostrils with overwhelming intensity. The scent was reminiscent of the many autumn seasons that had come and gone before, but not usually present in August. Something wasn’t right.
A dreadful feeling overwhelmed him as the distant sounds of sirens blasted like rockets into the sky. The steady pace of his limping turned into a desperate sprint, rushing towards the sounds of the frightful raucous.
Nik couldn’t believe all the black smoke, blanketing the stars. He turned the corner and noticed a crowd gathered around the disaster. Harper’s house was violently engulfed in flames.
In that instance, everything grew to a deafening silence. Life seemed to suddenly halt as he approached the devastating scene. Although he was running, it felt like he was knee-deep in molasses.
Blue and red lights of police cars and fire trucks competed for attention with the roaring flames, demolishing the shack Harper called home. The flashes shadowed the silhouettes of shaken residents who had emerged from their quiet homes, witnessing the devastation unfold before their eyes.
Nik raced between warm bodies, studying each face with reckless scrutiny. He hunted desperately through the crowd for any sign of Harper, knocking people aside as if he were a bulldozer. “Harper, where are you?” he breathlessly shouted.
Anxiety attacked him as if it were a plague, overwhelming his body.
“Nik—”
“Pops!” He turned around and saw Harper’s neighbor, Old Man Winston, clinging onto his shoulder. “Where’s Harper?”
“Shoot, I don’t know.”
“Oh my God.” His heart sank. “Maybe someone else has seen her.”
“I ain’t too sure.”
“She’s gotta be okay.” He threw his hands in his air, unable to think straight or steady his heart rate. “Have any of you seen Harper?”
Nik looked around, but no one seemed to know anything.
He continued pushing through them while Old Man Winston trailed behind.
“Wish I had more details for you. I’ve got a new farmhand, Gage, who saw the flames and woke me up.” He pulled off his glasses and rubbed them with his blue flannel nightshirt. “Holy cripe, look at that place. It's gonna burn to the ground before they're through with it."
After an exhausting search, Nik realized she wasn’t in the crowd. All he could do was wait for her to emerge from the wreckage.
“What’s taking them so long to put that damn thing out?” he asked.
The fire’s wrath was relentless. Much of the roof was annihilated while black smoke billowed from the house like an old fashioned steam train. Almost all of the windows had been broken by the heavy axes of the brave firewomen. They moved frantically to lay the violent fire to rest, before its evil grip demolished the entire house.
“They’re not doing shit.” Irritated with the situation, Nik sprinted towards the front door.
“Get back, Kid,” the firefighter warned. “It's too dangerous."
“Where’s Harper, is she inside?”
“Step away before you get hurt.”
“You’re moving too slow. Hurry up or she’ll die!”
Two police officers came to her aid and pulled Nik away.
“Let go!”
“C’mon, back it up,” Officer Leland Brown ordered.
“Get your God damn hands off me!” He fought and kicked as if he’d been possessed by some bloodthirsty demon.
“Easy son, it’s time to settle down.”
“She needs me!”
“You ain’t going inside. Getting loud about it ain’t gonna help no one. You’re just making things worse.”
“But they aren’t doing anything.”
“I assure you, they are.”
“Bull. They’ve got a minute before I go in there myself.”
Each passing second felt like an eternity while his fury mounted, shouting her name several more times. Nik wanted to dash into the flames, but couldn’t break free, feeling totally incapacitated.
“They’ve got someone!” a stranger yelled from the crowd.
The emergency crew instantly huddled around the doorway.
Nik’s eyes were glued to the entrance. His heartbeat skyrocketed and his mind raced in crazy circles, toying with every possible explanation. Each crash and tiny sound made his stomach grow weaker.
With the police officers distracted, he pulled free and raced towards the driveway.
“Get back!” The firewoman ordered.
Nik could only see the red hair as several personnel circled around the stretcher. “Harper!”
“Sir, I warned you to get back.”
He chased the paramedics. “Oh my God, Harper, can you hear me?”
The rescue crew briskly wheeled the stretcher down the sidewalk and into the ambulance. Between the darkness and the number of people surrounding the bed, it was hard to see the victim’s face.
A couple of guys, including Bill Winston and Gage, came to the aid of the police officers. They helped pull Nik aside while the ambulance crew swiftly loaded the victim into the back.
“Nik, settle down,” Old Man Winston said. “C’mon, take a deep breath.”
Officer Brown pushed him out of the way. “Kid, you gotta cool it. You’re outta control.”
“Harper!” he shouted, reaching out in desperation.
The men struggled to restrain him. I didn’t matter how many pairs of hands were on his body, Nik wasn’t going down without a fight. He violently swung his legs and arms in every direction.
“Shit, he just socked me in the jaw!” Gage yelled.
“No I didn’t.”
Brown pushed him back. “C’mon, give us a break!”
“Screw you, man. Get off!”
Gage scowled. “Damn, he did it again. Do something about this little punk.”
“You’re a liar. Let go of me!” Without any warning, Nik threw his fist into Officer Brown’s face.
Leland tackled Nik to the ground.
Everyone stood back and watched the scuffle unfold. The officer yanked Nik’s arms behind his back, pushed his face into the rough pavement, and slapped a pair of cuffs on his wrists.
“Please, Leland, don’t do that. He’s just upset,” Old Man Winston pleaded.
“I’ve got it covered, Bill.”
The paramedic sounded the startling siren and backed down the driveway. As they did, Nik begged to be released.
“Who was that?” he asked the fire chief. “Please, just answer me.”
Leland lifted Nik off the ground and pushed him into the backseat of the squad car.
Through the cracked window, he shouted, “Don’t do this to me—please! C’mon, she needs me.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you tried being a tough guy,” Leland growled.
“I’m begging you. I have to know that she’s all right.”
“Shut up. You’re lucky I didn’t knock your ass out for hitting me.” Leland wiped the blood from his double-chin and sniffled. “Cool off a minute before I take you down to the station. I suggest you get it together.” He walked away.
Through his despair, Nik’s sight was glued to the fire, hoping that Harper would miraculously emerge.
Out of the corner of his eye, Nik spotted Detective Tonya Harris deliberating with Leland and the other officials.
“Why are you getting so loud?” a sweet voice whispered, emerging from a small crowd gathered beside the police car.
“Excuse me?”
“Causing a scene’s not gonna get you anywhere, especially with these guys.”
Nik ignored her.
“In case you didn’t notice, they think they’re hotshots.” She carelessly tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder.
“They’re frickin’ idiots.”
The woman lit a cigarette and agreed. “You know, he probably wouldn’t have cuffed you if there weren’t people around. I bet he didn’t want to look like a coward.”
“Exactly, his reputation is more important than doing his job properly.”
“So why’d you hit him?”
“’Cause he deserved it. I’m just trying to find my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend,” she repeated the word, uncomfortably. “It looked to me like you were just out of control.”
“Yeah, but what the hell do you know? This is a nightmare. I just want some answers.”
“I wish there was something I could do for you.”
Nik stared at her profile as she stood with her arms folded, cradling her pronounced bosom.
“You could help by opening the car door and letting me out.”
“Even if I could, that’s not happening. See that heavy cop over there, the one you punched? His eyes are glued on us. He’s probably trying to see if I’m talking to you.”
“So? What’s he gonna do? Just open the door and let me out. I don’t have time for this.”
“How are you gonna do anything with handcuffs on?”
“That doesn’t matter. I’m completely useless here. Please, you’ve gotta help me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then get the hell outta here. I don’t need you.”
“You’re probably right.”
He looked away. “I’m sorry, Harper, I let you down again,” he muttered, feeling defeated.
She fluttered her eyelashes and put her hand to her chest. “Wait—did you say Harper?”
“Yeah, what’s it to you?”
“I didn’t know that’s who you were looking for.”
“You didn’t hear me screaming her name a minute ago?”
“Sorry, I guess not.”
“Well, have you seen her?”
“Yes,” she confessed.