by Kove, TT
‘How’d she die?’ Kristian asked in a low voice.
‘Cancer.’ When I was way too young. It had been Dad and me, all alone, ever since. ‘What about your parents?’
‘One from cancer and one from a heart attack.’ Kristian came up to stand beside me, looking down at the elegant, gold writing. ‘Cancer’s a pretty common way of dying, isn’t it?’
‘I guess, yeah.’ I’d been ten when Mum died and honestly… I couldn’t remember much from back then. Bits and pieces here and there, like how she used to read to me before bed or how she baked the most awesome cakes.
A pretty heavy gust of wind blew some ice-cold rain in my face and I shuddered. ‘Walk back?’ I asked Kristian.
‘Mmm.’
We walked home faster than we had to the cemetery, simply because the weather was turning even worse. I wondered what Varg was doing now, as he’d been whisked away by Jonathan so the two of them could spend Christmas Eve all alone together. I sure hope they make up and figure their shit out. They hadn’t been on steady ground lately.
* * *
‘I’ve just started putting out dessert,’ Anna said when we came home, stopping in the doorway to smile at us.
I debated running up to my room to change trousers but didn’t bother. My jacket had taken most of the rain, after all, so my trousers were only slightly damp.
‘Are we opening presents while we eat?’ I asked, eager to get both desserts and presents over with.
It didn’t take long. It was only the four of us, after all, and Dad and I only had each other. Anna had received presents from her kids too, but that was that.
After we sat around watching TV. Dad, who usually only watched the news, all night long, was talked into putting on some romantic comedy by Anna.
‘This isn’t a movie for the rest of us,’ Dad grumbled, but he didn’t switch the channel back to the news.
‘It’ll be good for all three of you to watch something like this,’ Anna teased. ‘Maybe you can all pick up some tips for the ladies, huh?’
I didn’t want any tips. I wanted to go to bed—the same bed as the man I usually shared a bed with.
Well, fuck it all. ‘Kristian and I are together.’ The silence those words brought were heavy.
‘What?’ Anna blinked at me. Dad simply stared. And Kristian sat stiffly next to me.
I let out the breath I’d been holding after I dropped the bomb. ‘Kristian and I are together,’ I repeated, slower this time and in a lower tone of voice. Why the fuck I was sharing it at all was beyond me, except… well, bed. ‘We’ve been together a while. That’s why we still live together. And that’s why we won’t meet anyone and why we don’t need any tips for the ladies.’ That was the most I’d ever spoken to Anna in one turn, come to think of it.
Her lips, which had parted in surprise, now pressed together. Her gaze shot to Kristian, who nodded to confirm her unvoiced question.
‘Together? You two? But…’ She turned to Dad. ‘Johan?’ Dad was scowling more than ever. I stared back, showing him I wasn’t afraid or ashamed, that I wasn’t going to back down. ‘Kristian?’ Anna turned to him instead. ‘Surely this is a joke? Right?’
‘I wouldn’t joke about something like this.’ I threw a scowl at her now too, then directed it back at Dad.
There was a short, tense silence after that… and then Dad broke our eye contact to look at Kristian too. ‘I sent my son up to Svalbard thinking you’d look after him and help him out. If I’d known this—’
‘Then what?’ I challenged, leaning forward slightly. ‘What would you have done if you’d known? Forbidden me to leave? To take the job? You couldn’t have done that even if you wanted, Dad. It’s my life and I make the decisions, not you. I decide what I want to do with it and you can count yourself lucky if I decide to share with you what’s going on.’
Dad’s eyes had darkened to the point they looked black. ‘He’s a decade older than you!’
‘Nine years actually,’ I pointed out.
‘Same fucking difference!’ Dad stood now, fists clenching. ‘He’s older than you and should know better.’
‘Better than what?’ I rose too so I could be on eye-level with him instead of having him loom over me. ‘Better than what, Dad? Then to find someone you get along with, someone you like to be around, someone you love?’
‘Love? Is that what you think this is? You’ve barely been there a year!’
‘A year’s more than enough time to figure out if I’m in love or not. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you introduce me to Anna after you’d been seeing each other for only a few months?’ He had no right standing there and be such a hypocrite. Not simply because I was in a relationship with another man. If Kristian had been a woman, he wouldn’t have minded. ‘I’m old enough to know the difference between love and infatuation.’
We’d never said it out loud, not properly, neither of us. But I did love him—and he loved me, and Dad wasn’t going to belittle that. I didn’t like to talk about my love-life, not to Dad or anyone, but I was damn well going to defend it to the end of time.
I glanced over my shoulder at Kristian, who still sat on the sofa. His gaze was on me, green eyes bright with worry over the escalating situation—and probably also with sympathy, because I’d hoped Dad would take it better than this. He probably wanted to help too, but he didn’t know how. Didn’t know how to calm Dad down. And was there really anything that could calm Dad down when he got angry? He’d likely fly even more off the handle if Kristian got involved now.
‘Johan—’ Anna tried.
‘Stay out of it.’ He made a cutting motion through the air towards her.
‘But Johan—’
‘I said stay out of it!’
Anna wisely shut up. She still looked stunned, like she had when I’d started this mess.
‘You should follow your own damn order,’ I got out through clenched teeth.
‘What?’ Dad’s voice held a clear warning.
‘To stay out of it.’ I kept my voice low, not wanting to resort to shouting. ‘It’s my life. Stop forcing your opinions on me. I only told you so we wouldn’t have to listen to all the well-meaning bullshit about meeting nice women to settle down with. And so we don’t have to stay in separate rooms anymore, because that’s frankly ridiculous. I may have informed you of this, but you don’t have a say in it. I’m not going to stop being with him simply because you don’t agree we should be together.’
Dad’s face was getting decidedly red. ‘You are not staying in the same room. Not under my roof. This is my home, my rules.’
‘Fine.’ If this was how he wanted to play it… ‘Then consider this our last night here. Tomorrow we’ll go stay with Varg.’
I expected him to press the issue, to shout some more at me, but he only clenched his fists, walked out of the room, and slammed the door after him like a big baby throwing a temper-tantrum.
The silence in the room was deafening.
‘We hadn’t expected this,’ Anna said in a low voice.
‘You think I did?’ Kristian’s voice was exasperated. ‘We didn’t set out for it, you know. It simply… happened.’
Happened, all right. Lots of sex had happened, and then suddenly it had become more. No one had been more surprised than me—and maybe Kristian, considering he had viewed himself as straight most of his life.
‘I don’t know. You never said anything about liking guys…’
‘That’s because I didn’t. Not before him.’ He looked at me, and our gazes met and held. Truth be told, I hadn’t been interested in another guy before him either. I’d been curious about what it would be like to be with a guy, yeah, and had fantasised about it… but I’d never gone and fancied another man before.
‘This has come as a shock, you get that, right?’ Anna wouldn’t look at him. Instead, she addressed her knees.
‘Yeah.’ Kristian sighed.
‘And we don’t understand.’
‘What’s to u
nderstand?’ I demanded, still keyed up after my argument with Dad and his exit. ‘It’s not for you to understand. This is between us. I told you out of common courtesy, but I fucking regret it now.’
Anna swallowed.
‘You’re not okay with it,’ I continued. ‘Fine. We’ll be out of your hair tomorrow. And until he changes his attitude, I don’t want to hear from him.’ I pointed at the closed door Dad had escaped behind.
‘Your dad’s old-fashioned. What if he never accepts it?’ Her eyes had gone wide.
‘Then that’s it.’ I crossed my arms defiantly. It wasn’t like I’d had such a good relationship with my dad, to begin with. Not talking to him anymore at all would hardly be a loss. ‘I can’t stop living my life because my dad’s a total git. I refuse to do that.’ I’d always lived my life the way I wanted and just never told him much. He didn’t know me at all, really, and he’d never bothered to try.
Anna licked her lips nervously, glancing between Kristian and me.
‘I’m going to bed,’ I announced, tired of everything and still irritable about Dad.
How would this have turned out if Mum was still alive? But of course I’d never find out because she wasn’t. She was gone and Anna was here and Dad was a miserable old sod.
‘See you in the morning,’ Kristian said, giving a half-wave.
I nodded and left the room, leaving the door open instead of slamming it shut as Dad had done.
Well, that went to shit. But what else had I expected really? I knew my dad well enough to know what he was like.
Of course, the next day, I found out Varg had gotten engaged. So at least someone had had a good Christmas he could look back on with fond memories. Hopefully, Kristian and I would have our own next year.
Back Home
‘That’s the last of it.’ I put the last of our suitcases down in the hall, then stripped out of my thick jacket and boots. ‘Want something to drink?’
‘A beer.’ Kristian followed me into the kitchen.
I got two beer bottles and handed one over. ‘Cheers for a lovely Christmas,’ I told him drily, tipping my bottle to his one. ‘It was even worse than anticipated if that’s possible.’
‘Yeah.’ He took a long sip. ‘It’s good to be home. At least we get New Year’s Eve here.’
‘Are we celebrating at Huset or Svalbar?’ I asked, having no idea what they did for New Years, as I hadn’t celebrated that on Svalbard last year either.
‘Svalbar. That’s what we usually do.’ He looked at me inquiringly. ‘Unless you want something else, that is.’
‘Nah, Svalbar’s fine. We all get to celebrate together, right?’
‘Right.’ He grinned. ‘So, what do you say we celebrate being back in our own house without disapproving family around to sour the mood?’
Now that made blood shoot directly down south. I put the beer on the counter, instantly forgotten, and started for the door. Best to move to the bedroom.
‘Hey!’ He came hurrying after me, laughing—but that stopped as soon as we were in his bedroom and I started to strip off my clothes. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a light kiss in-between my shoulder blades.
I turned around, forcing him to let go of me. But I couldn’t imagine he’d mind when I started in on his clothes, throwing the garments haphazardly on the floor as I quickly undressed him.
‘Hey, Andreas?’
‘Hmm?’ I looked up and was greeted by his lips on mine. It was soft but quickly deepened until we were practically fucking each other standing. ‘Get on the bed,’ I ground out when we pulled apart for air.
He stared at me with lust-filled eyes for a moment, then did as told. I went after him and we tumbled down on the bed, lips locked in another kiss.
‘Lube.’ He pushed me away and rolled over onto his stomach, presenting me with a view of his toned backside.
I quirked a brow at him, but he ignored me in favour of getting the lube from the drawer. I didn’t give him any time to turn back around, instead, I straddled the back of his thighs and started kissing my way down his spine. When I reached his arse—rather quickly because I was impatient—I spread his cheeks and ran my tongue down the cleft.
He moaned, hips lifting off the bed, begging me to continue. I did and I had no plans to stop. I circled my tongue around the tight pucker until Kristian panted beneath me, then pushed the tip of my tongue inside.
‘Ah, fuck!’ He buried his face in the sheets.
I grinned to myself at his reaction before continuing the rim job, delighted at the pleasure. This was another first for us as we usually only spread some lube and got right to work. We still didn’t have much foreplay and this definitely counted as it. I was rock hard already and wanted nothing more than to bury myself in his arse… but tonight I had something else planned.
‘Why did you stop?’ he demanded as I pulled to sit back. He pushed up on his elbows and half-turned to look at me. ‘Andreas?’
‘I want you to fuck me tonight.’ Just saying it made my stomach clench nervously, but I’d wanted to try this for so long, and who better to do it with than Kristian?
His eyes widened. ‘Seriously?’ I nodded, meeting his green gaze head-on. ‘Okay.’ He pushed up further onto his knees, then shoved me gently down on my stomach. I went willingly, letting him take the lead now. He straddled my legs as I’d just straddled him and started kissing down my spine, a lot slower than I’d done it to him.
I wasn’t exactly content to lie there and enjoy the kisses. I wanted to get to the main thing, but his weight on top of me, his soft lips brushing against my skin, his stubble rasping… it was too good.
‘Lay still.’
I heard him open the lube and squeeze some out. I imagined he rubbed his fingers together as I used to do, to warm it slightly as he didn’t immediately slather it all over my arse.
Then his hand was finally on me, stroking down my cleft. I lifted one leg up to give him more space and he took proper advantage of it by pushing a finger inside me. An appreciative groan left me. I’d never bottomed before, never had a finger even close to my arse with anyone else I’d been with. But it was good, even if it was only one finger, small compared to what was going inside me soon.
He leant over me and rested his forehead between my shoulder-blades. His fingers thrust in and out of me, a second added by now. He slowly added more fingers, probing gently, until all but his thumb were now fucking me.
‘You don’t have to do that, you know,’ I groaned. ‘I can take it.’
‘I don’t want it to hurt overly much the first time,’ he replied in a low, deep voice. ‘Bear with me.’
The impatient sound that left me made him chuckle. But it also made him move, because he pulled his fingers out. I heard him opening the lube again and swallowed. This is it. Now it’s happening.
‘You sure?’ he asked. ‘Last chance to pull out.’
‘I’m sure.’ So fucking sure.
He moved to straddle my one thigh, positioning himself perfectly until the head of his dick pressed against my hole. My body gave a little bit of resistance, but then folded and let him in. He sank into me slowly, taking his time. When he was buried balls deep, we groaned in unison, then we stayed still for a long minute as we both adjusted.
Having him inside me felt like… well, it felt a little weird, but also good. Nothing at all like I’d ever felt before.
‘Move,’ I urged, not sure if he was waiting for my okay or if he needed the time out himself.
His forehead was still pressed against my skin, but he pulled back before thrusting his hips forward again until his groin met my arse with a loud slap of skin. He moaned, hips speeding up their thrusts.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I wasn’t going to last. This was going to be over before it properly began because it was too intense, too much and I couldn’t stop my orgasm if I tried. ‘Coming,’ I grunted, reaching a hand under me to fist my cock.
‘Fuck, ahh, me too, aah—!’ He collapsed on top o
f me, body slightly wider, slightly more muscled than mine, pushing me into the bed. I didn’t mind. My own body was all loose and blissfully happy from my orgasm—and the only thing not to my liking was the wet spot I was lying on, but not even that mattered right now. Speaking of wet… his semen was in me, some trickling down my hole to my balls and then landing on the sheets.
His breath fanned over my neck as he pressed a kiss there. ‘We should clean up.’
‘Too much work,’ I groaned.
He laughed but likely agreed, because he didn’t move. ‘It was good, right?’
‘You have to ask?’ Wasn’t the fact I’d come quicker than a teen blowing his first load evidence of the fact it had been great?
‘We’ve got to do this again then.’ He tangled a hand in my hair—hopefully not the one with lube in it or else I would have to get up to take a shower soon. ‘Switch it up a little from time to time.’
‘Yeah,’ I agreed. Hopefully pretty soon. I still preferred to top him and I thought he still he preferred to bottom for me, but this… yeah, it was good to switch things up from time to time. ‘Would it be bad form if I simply took a nap?’
He chuckled. ‘Not if I took one with you.’ He rolled off me to lie down on his side of the bed, head nestled on his pillow.
I scooted after, away from the wet spot and over to drape myself against his side. It wasn’t often we slept all cuddled together, mostly we liked our space when we slept, but right now I wanted his skin against mine more than I wanted space.
We shared one lazy kiss, only our heads turned toward each other on the pillow. When that tapered off, it didn’t take us long at all to doze off, both sated and happy.
So what if Dad and Anna didn’t like that we were together? Dad might never come around, he was a stubborn bastard like that. Anna might, given some time. But that didn’t really matter. The only thing that did, was Kristian and I. End of story. We were together in a committed relationship. As long as we were happy, we wouldn’t give that up for anyone.