by Annie Boone
She usually wasn’t one to let her emotions get ahead of her, but right now, before she even realized they were on their way, she felt tears begin to stream down her face.
Normally, she would have stopped the tears immediately, but she was so far from home and she felt like she deserved the indulgence. Her hopes were now severely crushed, and her future was quite uncertain. She cried until finally, thankfully, her exhaustion took over and she was able to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Chapter Six
The next morning, Lucy woke up and automatically felt a sense of dread overtake her. She didn’t want to be here anymore; not with everything that has been going on.
Lucy just couldn’t believe that she allowed herself to fall for such a spiteful trick. Being alone out here only made it worse. At least, if she had Patricia, the two of them could laugh about it, but at the moment, the last thing she felt like doing was laughing.
However, if Levi was still continuing with the plan, there was no reason that he shouldn’t still be coming to pick her up. She realized that she should get ready. She walked to the vanity and looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled at her reflection and realized that her smile was one of her best features. She began the process of playing up her smile and enhancing the other attractive features that she knew she possessed in spite of her weight.
After all, at its heart, she knew that this was still a competition between her and the other woman. Regardless of what the woman looked like or the confidence she exuded, Lucy was still the woman that Levi had spent the most time with yesterday. He chose to do that; she didn’t force him. She hoped to get most of his time again today.
She also prayed that she would find out the truth.
So, when Levi picked her up, just as he said he would, Lucy didn’t waste any time. As they started walking back to the ranch, Lucy said, “So, you will never guess who I ran into last night?”
Levi looked at her with interest and offered, “Did you see someone from home?”
Lucy shook her head and replied, “I told you, you would never guess.”
He smiled at her and chuckled before he answered, “Is that right?”
She nodded, “Do you remember that woman who came in the carriage yesterday; the one you told me you had sent away?”
As Lucy looked pointedly at him, he stepped back, and his complexion paled. “Ummm…” He said, trying to think of the right thing to say.
However, Lucy didn’t give him the chance, “Listen, Levi, it’s okay. I just want to know the truth. That’s it, nothing more.”
“I told you the truth yesterday.”
Lucy didn’t want to hear it, “I understand. If you choose her, then I will leave you both alone. I will go back to New York, and I will never bother you again. In fact, I will wish you well as I go, but I can only do that if I know what is going on.” She glared at him seriously but did not raise her voice, “I don’t like to have my time wasted and I will not tolerate being lied to.”
He sighed and looked down at the ground. Kicking up the dirt, he mumbled, “I’m sorry, Lucy. Can we talk about this back at the ranch?”
Lucy thought about this for a moment, before she nodded and answered, “Yes. I will give you that, but know that likely, I won’t stay very much longer after that.”
He nodded, “I understand.”
The two of them then walked back to the ranch in silence.
Lucy did not care to speak to him, and she was sure that Levi didn’t want to bury himself any deeper with Lucy and, therefore, he also didn’t bother trying to make conversation.
When they returned to the ranch, the couple went into the kitchen and Levi insisted on making her breakfast. She didn’t offer to make it, as she knew she probably should, but since she said she was probably leaving, she didn’t feel indebted to him.
After all, she was honest with him, for the most part, throughout this whole ordeal.
Even by the time he had set the meal of eggs and bacon in front of her, neither of them had spoken another word about the argument they’d had out in the field.
They ate in silence also, but as soon as they were finished, Levi sighed loudly and asked, “Can I please, at least, explain myself?”
She nodded, “Of course. That is why I am here and not already on a train back to New York.”
He shrugged and squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, before he answered, “Here’s what happened…I was telling the truth about her just showing up. I didn’t invite her, by any means, and I was almost as surprised as you that she was there. I had never intended for her to show up here and I didn’t know she was coming.”
He paused briefly and then he looked at her desperately. “Do you at least believe me that while I would correspond with two women through letters, I would not dare to invite you both here. When I invited you here, Lucy, I had already chosen you.”
“And if we didn’t work?”
“I would have tried to correspond with someone else, but I was not in any way attempting to keep Clara as a backup plan. I want it to work with us!” He insisted and seemed genuine enough, but Lucy still could not bring herself to trust him entirely. She stared at him with a look that was meant to accuse him of further deception. He sighed and added, “When she showed up, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted some time, and I didn’t want her to ruin my chances with you.”
“Then why didn’t you send her away like you had told me you had?”
“To be fair, I did. I sent her to the inn and did not call for her until our day was over,” He answered.
“Why did you call for her at all if I was your choice?” She demanded while still keeping her voice level.
Levi looked as though he was going to say something, but he stopped short and paused. Finally he explained, “I didn’t want to be rude and I thought that I at least owed her an explanation in person.”
“Excuse me, but don’t you have a date with her this afternoon?”
“Yes.”
“Well, if your choice is still me, then just how hard do you need to work to let her down easy?” Lucy asked, but then decided that she didn’t want to know the answer to that question. Although, there was an even more burning clarification that she wanted to make, looming in the back of her mind. She felt hot, wet tears come to the corners of her eyes as she sniffled and answered, “That is if your choice is still me after you’ve seen what I look like.”
When Levi hesitated, Lucy felt her heart break.
Finally, he answered, trying to be tactful and sensitive, even though it came across as neither, “I must be honest with you, Lucy. You’re accusing me of a white lie to spare someone’s feelings when you left out some pretty significant details about yourself in our correspondence.”
Immediately, she got up from the table and walked to the window looking out over the prairie. She didn’t want him to see her tears, though he’d have to be blind to not see what was going on.
It did not take long for Levi to come up behind Lucy and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to be comforting. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I didn’t mean to be rude, I just want to have complete honesty between us.”
Lucy stepped away from him making sure she was too far away for him to touch her. “I know I’m fat. You don’t have to tell me that I am fat, but I do wish you had explained to me from the start that you are that shallow.”
He pulled back, surprised at her insult and answered, “So, you didn’t tell me anything about your looks completely by accident? Is that it?”
“No,” She answered, glaring at him, “Of course that isn’t it, but I only did it because I wanted to show you the real me.”
“By being dishonest?”
“And corresponding with two women at the same time is not any less dishonest?” She shot back, “I just wanted a chance to get to know you before you rebuked me. You seemed like a nice guy. That’s why I did what I did. I wasn’t trying to trick you or hurt you in any way. I wasn’t planning to take your money, and
I wasn’t trying to hoodwink you. All I wanted was a decent husband.”
She stood looking at him for a few seconds. Finally, she blinked, looked away from him and said, “I’ll show myself out.”
She then took out the money that he had given her the night before and laid it on the table. Then she headed for the door.
However, as she reached the front door, she was met by Clara, who seemed taken back to see her again.
“Lucy, wait!” Levi exclaimed, but stopped short as he saw the two women, face to face with one another. He looked at one woman and then the other before he answered, “Clara…Hello! I thought we weren’t going to meet until later this afternoon.”
“What is she doing here?” Clara asked with the same snooty tone she had used the night before with Lucy.
“Ummm…Well…I think you both should come in and sit down.”
“Forgive my bluntness, but I have absolutely no interest,” Clara answered, “If you prefer her then you are most welcome to her. I could easily find a man in this dust bowl of a town. The only reason I abstained was because I believed that you and I had a future together.”
Feeling increasingly angry and hurt at the entire situation, Lucy burst into the conversation. “Oh no! I might be overweight, but I am not going to allow the two of you just to hand me off to the lowest bidder. If you want him, you can have him. I can take care of myself.” She turned around and glared at Levi before telling Clara, “I have a feeling that the two of you deserve each other far more than you could ever imagine.”
With that, she pushed passed Clara, who stood dumbfounded at being spoken to that way and started to walk toward town. She had no idea where she was going or where she should go. She knew it was a long way to town, but she would just have to walk until she finally made it. The one thing she was certain of was that she no longer wished to be in the presence of these people.
In a way, she hoped that Levi wouldn’t even feel the need to run after her. After all, she had nothing new to say to him. She was hurt and at the moment, she didn’t even want to have a husband. She especially didn’t want a lying, shallow man like Levi for a husband.
Becoming a spinster seemed natural and almost preferred to the life that she was leading at the immediate moment. She was sick of being hurt. She was a decent person and she even believed she was pretty. She knew that she would make an excellent wife, and this opportunity was supposed to be the answer to her prayers. However, now, it seemed that even practically begging a man to marry her would not work in her favor.
“Is that what you want for me, God?” She asked the sky as she prayed for a clue or answer as to what her next move should be. She started pouring out her heart in prayer. “You want me to be alone for the rest of my life, Lord? I don’t understand. What do I need to do to find a Godly man who will love me for who I am and appreciate a faithful woman as his wife?”
She had no interest in trying to get a man to help her with anything, but she did want guidance from God. Every time she had a problem, she had always prayed, and He had seen her through the difficulties she faced. She felt close to God when she prayed for help, forgiveness, and comfort. At least you love me in spite of how I look, she thought reverently.
That was probably a lot of the reason she connected so well with her faith, was because it had to do with the heart’s deepest intentions, not the outward appearance.
Right now, even her faith wasn’t helping her to feel any better. Pouring out her anger, hurt, and frustration to God should have made her find some acceptance of where she was, but that wasn’t happening right now. She knew she needed to think clearly, but nothing seemed to help her. She was just sad and angry, with no way to resolve those empty feelings.
The only person on Earth that Lucy felt she could confide in, and trust was all the way back in New York. She couldn’t stand the thought of being all alone. That, if she was honest with herself was her greatest fear.
Becoming a spinster was not only a usually cruel fate; it was also a very lonely future. She didn’t want to end up all alone. After being part of a circle of friends for so long, it made her melancholy to think that one day, she will no longer fit in with them. They will all be married and having their families, while she will be left to grow old in her parents’ house, alone and unwanted.
Lucy felt as though she had so much love to give someone, that there was no reason that she should have to give up on having someone there for her. She didn’t want to die without being able to have the chance to love a husband and children and be loved in return.
The part that hurt her the most, was that she honestly thought that she’d finally found the one God had saved for her. Through their correspondence and even in that brief time after meeting Levi she truly thought he could be that person she would love forever. And worse, she believed he might be the one who would give her the love that she craved. However, now, she knew that was likely not a possibility.
However, as soon as Lucy began to be honest with herself and accept that conclusion, she heard a horse coming up behind her.
At first, she didn’t know what the sound was because in the city, the horses rarely ever go that fast, but this one seemed to be going at almost full speed.
So, knowing that they were probably getting somewhere more important than where Lucy was, she moved over to the side of the road to give the rider plenty of room to get by.
She didn’t look at the rider though because she had no interest in meeting anyone who thought she might need some help, getting into town or with anything else. She wanted to be left alone.
When the horse stopped next to her though, and she heard her name, she was even more surprised. She almost ignored the rider, but even in her dull mood, she didn’t want to be rude and so, she looked over at the man and she saw Levi, smiling down at her.
She shot him a dirty look and hissed, “Don’t you have a wedding to plan?” before she continued down the road, walking away from him quickly.
“Yes. Yes, I do,” He exclaimed, dismounting the horse and running to catch up with her. When he was finally by her side, he called her name again and grasped her hand so that she had no choice but to look over at him. As she stared at him, he said genuinely, “Lucy, I choose you.”
Chapter Seven
Lucy wasn’t quite sure what to say and so, she remained silent.
“Look,” he continued, “I know that I hurt you and I am so very sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you, and I tried my best to be honest at all times.” He shook his head and bowed his head slightly. He seemed to be sincere.
Levi continued in a low voice, “The situation just got away from me. I’m not all that experienced with women, you see, and I’m sorry. I promise you, I have told Clara that I don’t have any interest in courting her. If you’ll allow it, I would like to take you into town and make it clear that you are mine.” He put his hand out and looked at her with sincerity before saying, “My one and only. That is if you’ll have me?”
Lucy had waited her entire life for a man to say something like that to her, but she would have never imagined that it would be under such strange circumstances. However, she wanted to believe him and, therefore, she smiled at him and placed her hand in his, “I accept.”
At this, Levi’s face lit up, and he smiled brightly, before embracing her. Lucy smiled coyly and pulled away from him as she felt her face get red, “Not right here on the street, Levi, it’s improper…”
He laughed and moved away, before answering, “That is one of the best things about you,” He answered, “You have such a glowing piety about you that it is almost blinding.” Then, he amended his statement, “I meant that as a good thing. I want a woman who I know I can trust and after everything that has gone on, I know that you are her.”
“Even though I was not completely honest about my weight?” She asked.
He shrugged and shook his head, “You are beautiful, Lucy. I love your smile and sparkling eyes. The more time I spend with you, the
more beautiful you become.”
Again, she felt her face grow red as he helped her onto the horse. The two of them then rode the rest of the way into town and spent the day exploring the small town together and enjoying the company of one another.
Throughout the day, Lucy felt even more content than she had before Clara’s arrival. Every place they went, Levi showed her off and seemed genuinely happy to be with her. Lucy finally understood that he wasn’t just trying to be nice to her.
He introduced her as his date to a few people they met on the street and two men they spoke to even gave her admiring glances. She felt light headed.
“Be careful there, Levi. You’d best be good to this beautiful young woman, or I’m going to sneak in and win her away from you,” the man in the General Store chuckled. This jovial retort made Lucy feel wanted and adored, which made her even more excited to be here, arm in arm, with Levi.
Levi and Lucy returned to the inn later in the evening, talking quietly about their day. As they walked into the small parlor, they saw a vibrant Clara surrounded by men. They overheard her ask the group who was taking her to dinner. Naturally, each said, “I am!” They sounded like a chorus.
It looked like she was having the time of her life with the crowd of men around her. Strangely enough, as soon as she saw the two of them come into the room, she pushed past the men who were just about drooling over her, to stop them as they walked past her table.
Clara gawked at the two of them before glaring at Levi and sneering at him. “Nice choice,” she said.
“Thank you, Clara. I certainly think so,” Levi answered solidly, moving protectively between her and Lucy.
She laughed at him and said, “It’s so sad though, that you apparently wouldn’t know a real woman if she showed up on your front door. Oh wait, one did, and you failed to see what was right before your eyes. Too late now though.” She sneered, “I have found lots of suitors here. I will have a difficult decision to make, indeed.”