“Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is? Your grandfather and grandmother were good people from what I’ve heard. They may have produced your father, but your uncle also has their blood. And, look at Thomas, although his mother is difficult, he has such a wonderful heart. Your child will be just like one of them.”
“You’re wrong. My father is the problem here. I am. You have no idea what I’m capable of. I could be exactly like him. It would be so easy to snap.”
She whirled around and glared at him. “Is that so? Then, hit me.”
Shocked, he stumbled backwards. “What?”
“You heard me. I’ve angered you time and time again. If it’s so easy, punish me.”
The fact that she would even say such a thing after he confessed his horrible past to her had fury pumping through his body. His hands itched with the need to fight. To hit something. Except her. Never her.
“I am not my father,” he snarled. “I may have his blood, but you will never feel the weight of my fists, my belt, or my cane. Nor will our child.”
“Not so easy then, is it? Your father wouldn’t have hesitated.”
Realizing her intent, he worked to relax his body, one part at a time, forcing his anger aside. “You don’t understand. My temper is a daily struggle.”
“Do you think mine is not?” She walked up to him and slid her arms up his chest and linked them behind his neck. “Everyone struggles, no matter who they came from. I’m not asking you to suddenly abandon what you believe, but I’m asking you to think about it.”
Warmed by her understanding and her nearness, he pulled her tight against him. “I will.”
“Good.” She slid her lips against his. “But, not right now. I have something else to occupy you.”
Happy to oblige, Edmund lost himself in her kiss. With her, he felt as if he could accomplish the impossible. He only needed to allow himself to trust her. And, for the first time in his life, he was ready. No doubt remained. He would become a better man for her. Anything for her.
~ ~ ~
“I never thought I’d see the day the Duke of Demoon would join us for dinner.”
Carolyn smiled at Claire’s admission as she thought about her husband alone with the men enjoying their port. Honestly, she felt much the same at her sister. After the two days she’d spent with Edmund in the hunting cabin, he had returned to the man she had met in the garden. Well, at least when he was alone with her. The mask he wore for everyone else went much deeper than the surface.
“He is not what everyone believes him to be,” Carolyn explained to her sister and sister-in-law. “I am fairly certain the rumors began due to his decision to alienate himself.”
“Although, one look at the duke, and I’d believe them.” Annalise shuddered. “That man is huge and the mask makes him look menacing.”
Shaking her head, Carolyn pictured her husband. “I suppose, but you haven’t seen him laugh. It transforms his face and makes you want to return the smile. And, although I’m not fond of it, the mask is something you become used to. As for his bulk, that only adds a level of security and protection to him. I can assure you that I will never experience any harm under his care.”
Her sister and Annalise exchanged a look.
“Is that so?” Annalise laughed.
“I’m so happy, I could dance all night.” Claire had tears in her eyes.
Confused, Carolyn looked between the two faces. “What are you going on about? Did you doubt my safety before?”
Claire let out a girlish giggled and patted Carolyn on her knee. “Don’t be ridiculous. You love him.”
Shaking her head, Carolyn tried to not roll her eyes. Her sister had always been a romantic. However, seeing the same look on Annalise’s face, Carolyn began to panic. It wasn’t possible. How could she love Edmund and not even be aware of it? The thought couldn’t be more absurd.
“You’re wrong. I don’t love him.”
“Don’t be defensive. This is a good thing.” Claire’s voice was calm, assuring.
Alarm forced Carolyn from the chair. This wasn’t like her. She’d always been able to work through matters and understand them before anyone else. She began to pace the room. Could she truly have fallen in love with Edmund and not realized it?
“Why are you so distressed?” Annalise asked. “This is what you wanted. You once told me you’d marry for love or not at all.”
“How can you know I love someone when I don’t even know?” Her voice emerged hysterical, but she didn’t care.
Although she didn’t believe it, she wanted it to be true. She wanted to love Edmund. If ever a man was worthy, it was him. He deserved so much more than what he had been given in life, and she was fighting for him to have it.
“Do you think about him all the time? Miss him when he’s not there?” Claire asked.
“Do you count the minutes until he returns?” Annalise added. “And, when he is around, you feel whole. The very sight of him has your heart aching inside your chest?”
Claire sighed. “Then, when he looks at you, you see nothing else. The moment, or rather the world, revolves around him.”
Tears filled Carolyn’s eyes. Dear God, they were right. She loved Edmund. The thought filled her with happiness and hurt at the same time. She’d never imagined it to be like this. Everyone else made it look so easy. So comfortable.
Seeing movement at the doorway, she sought her husband’s face. When they made eye contact, his contentment drained away as anger darkened it. He hurried to her side.
“Carolyn, what is wrong?”
Her throat clogged as the truth seeped further into her reality. A slow smile crept across her lips. His concern for her had been so great, he’d called her by her Christian name in front of everyone. How had she been so lucky to find him?
“Talk to me, damn it. What has happened?”
“I think I love you,” she blurted.
His mouth fell open and his anger vanished.
“Well, that was unexpected.” Gordon’s voice pulled her out of the private world she’d been ensconced in. “Please, excuse us.”
Heat burned her cheeks as her family vacated the room, all smiles and knowing looks. When the door closed, she couldn’t bring herself to face her husband. What must he think of her to say such a thing in front of others?
“Carolyn?” Edmund’s voice was unsure.
“Yes,” she whispered, still not facing him.
“You think you love me?” His unsteady voice struck her. “And, that thought makes you sad? Again, I find you with tears in your eyes because of me.”
Unable to handle him thinking so, she spun around to look at him. “No. Not tears of sadness. Shock, maybe.”
He nodded, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His eyes were questioning as if he wanted to say something, but hesitated. She let out a sigh. Her lack of decorum got her in this situation, so she deserved whatever it was.
“Edmund, if you want to say something, do it. Clearly, I have no trouble blurting my thoughts.”
His half smile brought her heart to racing. “I like that about you. In any case, I was just wondering when you would know for sure.”
“Know what?”
The uncertainty returned to his face. “If you love me.”
“Oh.” Her face heated to an uncomfortable degree. “Well, I suppose I shall tell you whenever I know.”
He nodded a bit sadly. “Thank you. I have long ago lost my ability to harbor such feelings for anyone, but I care a great deal about you, and I would very much like to know how you feel.”
Her heart fluttered. She’d never seen such vulnerability from him, and it melted her. For the first time, she actually felt her love for him as if it were a tangible thing moving inside her. Joy bubbled
to the surface, threatening to explode if she didn’t let it out.
She wrapped her arms around him. “If I promise to tell you, will you kiss me?”
His laughter rumbled in his chest. “If you let me take you home, I’ll do a lot more than just kiss you.”
Shocked at the idea of going against propriety and quitting the evening early, she pulled back. The desire on his face told her how little he cared about such things. In addition, as she thought about the expressions her family had as they left the room, she imagined they wouldn’t begrudge her the lapse.
“I would like that.” She slipped her hands up his cheeks and into his hair, dislodging his mask. “Edmund, I love you. Take me home.”
A grin surged across his face, and he crushed her lips with his. Caught up in her husband’s arms, it was just the two of them left in the world. Nothing could ever come between them.
Chapter 13
Edmund rubbed a hand over the right side of his face as frustration raked him. Every move he made upset someone. He wondered why they couldn’t all live in peace. As the Duke of Demoon, he should have the ability to do as he pleased. When had he lost so much power?
Although the past month with Carolyn had been much better than he had ever imagined life could be, she still pushed him. In an attempt to be the man she needed, he’d attended dinners with her family and even hosted one at his home. But, she still wanted more.
“I just don’t see the benefit,” Uncle Joseph complained. “I have made the rounds with the tenants for many years now. Do you wish for everyone to think I have done a poor job?”
“Of course not. And, I’m not taking the task from you. I simply think it would be wise for me to join you upon occasion.”
“This is that girl’s doing, isn’t it? She pushed your mother out of running the household, too. You are weak to allow her so much freedom.”
Pushed beyond his limit, Edmund stood and slammed his hands against his desk. “I’ll not hear another word about the duchess. It is her right to take over the house. It’s the way of things. Just as it is my duty to see to the tenants. I’ve been neglectful in the past, but that stops today.”
“My, my. Such a show of power from the duke. I don’t know if I should be proud or intimidated.”
The sound of Aunt Hannah’s voice grated on his nerves. The woman stood in the doorway, completely uncaring that she’d entered upon a private conversation. Being the oldest of his grandfather’s children, he wondered why she hadn’t inherited any of his good aspects.
“Aunt Hannah.” Edmund inclined his head. “How good of you to join us.”
She curtsied, but the expression on her face looked as though she’d bitten into the peel of a lemon. Then, she turned her venomous eyes on her brother. The two seemed to size each other up until Uncle Joseph backed down.
“Joseph, I believe your little tiff is over, with you as the loser, so you may take your leave. I would have a word in private with the duke.”
Exactly like he did with Edmund’s mother, Uncle Joseph put up no fight as he excused himself. Edmund couldn’t understand the man. Although he, himself, gave in to Carolyn, he also knew when to fight back. His uncle clearly did not.
“Won’t you sit?” Edmund indicated the chair in front of his desk.
After dropping her ample self into it, she made a show of fluffing out her skirts and settling them just so. Edmund marveled at the expensive outfit and jewels adorning the woman. The thought of his cousin on such a tight allowance while she spent her son’s inheritance angered him.
“You have always been a smart boy, so I will not insult you by entertaining the thought that you don’t know why I’m here.”
“I take it the good news of my marriage has traveled to London.”
She narrowed her eyes and pinched her lips. “I understand that girl didn’t belong to you. All I asked my son to do was find a wife. Anyone would do. I had no restrictions on which female it was, but he did. That boy talked about Miss Ashford for well over a year. And, you stole her.”
“What are you really angry about? The fact I have taken her for a wife or the fact that I can procure my own heirs.”
“To be honest, I really don’t know which angers me more. How could you do such a thing to your cousin? Not only did you steal the lady he had chosen, but then you cast him aside. After years of promising him that his child will inherit, you take that, too. There is the Lawrence in you. I always knew you had it.”
As Edmund gripped the arms of his chair, he ignored the cracking as he stressed the wood. “If I were anything like my father, you would not be sitting there so comfortably.”
To his surprise, she laughed. “You’re wrong. My brother was very proud of me. He helped me see my full potential. Do you think I would have become a countess had I been a weak woman? From what I hear, Her Grace has high aspirations as well. Thomas had no chance. After all, he couldn’t have made her a duchess.”
Red clouded his vision. “Do not come into my house and speak such of my wife. I will not entertain another word against her.”
“I see you have formed an attachment to this one. Well, you misunderstand my meaning. I’m impressed. She would have been a great choice for my poor son.”
Gritting his teeth, he kept his gaze trained on his aunt. “Why are you really here? Thomas shall not have my wife.”
“Then, what will he have? Should my dear son find another woman to capture his heart? He has nothing to offer her. What shall they receive from the head of our family?”
“I would imagine his father had left him a legacy.”
Her eyes turned hard. “After my husband’s death, my stepson took the title and everything else he could. Thomas has nothing.”
“Then, I suppose you should remain in my good graces, for you clearly have fallen from the earl’s.”
She stood, and he followed suit as she dropped into a mocking curtsy. “As you wish, Your Grace. We poor relations must toil under you in order to receive a hot meal and a warm bed.”
Unwilling to argue with her any longer, Edmund simply stared at her until she huffed from his study. Considering how his mother and uncle were acting lately, his aunt was the last person he wanted around.
He had a sinking suspicion his life was about to get a whole lot more complicated.
~ ~ ~
“Is there a reason why you are staring at me, Your Grace?” Carolyn asked of her mother-in-law as she set aside her embroidery.
“Yes. There is always a reason for everything I do. You’d be better served to remember that.”
“Thank you for the advice. So, what is your purpose today?”
The dowager duchess let out a long sigh. “I’m trying to figure you out. You see, we were fine before you arrived, and Joseph convinced me your presence wouldn’t change anything. And now, chaos.”
“As I told you, I have no problems sharing the duties of running the castle with you. I have no intention of pushing you out.”
“That isn’t even an issue, and I don’t know if you realize that or not. I can’t tell if your actions are out of ignorance, apathy, or if they are all calculated moves.”
Carolyn stared in confusion at the woman who, previously, had barely spoken two words to her. Was Edmund’s mother completely unhinged? From what Carolyn could tell, this was as real as the dowager had ever been. Could her fake persona be constructed to hide her lack of mental faculties?
“I have no hidden agenda. Everything I have done has been driven by thoughts of bettering the household or the duke.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here. So, you truly must have no idea, and I don’t know if I should hate you for it.”
The truth spouting from her lips, as the duchess believed it to be, was both refreshing and distressing at the same time. Carol
yn wasn’t sure how to respond to the strange woman. And, judging from Edmund’s dealings with her, he didn’t know any better.
“It seems like I puzzle you as much as you puzzle me.”
The dowager laughed. “Then, you are a simpleton. As you see, I hold nothing back. I am exactly as I appear.”
“Yes. I can see that is what you want everyone to believe, but there is more to you that I can’t seem to figure out.”
“Don’t try. It’s likely you won’t like what you see.”
“Or, perhaps you won’t,” Carolyn countered, then let out a breath. This arguing wouldn’t help their relationship. “I wish we could come to some arrangement. I have no desire to fight with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
As the dowager stood, a weary look crossed over her face. “That remains to be seen.”
Carolyn was left speechless as the woman left the room. Had that been a threat? Regardless, Edmund would never cast her out, so Carolyn had no reason to worry on that account, but the thought unsettled her. Did the dowager have another meaning?
Forcing the uncomfortable talk from her mind, Carolyn decided to take a walk through the garden. Since the weather began to warm, she relished the opportunity to immerse herself in her beloved plants again. Although the ground was still too hard to garden, she took solace in the comfort of the place.
As she moved through the rows, her mind wandered away from the dowager to all the ways she would instruct the team on changes to the massive space once spring came. Although the garden wasn’t unkempt, it wasn’t in a very good state either. She would enjoy working it to its full potential.
So distracted with the possibilities, her foot slipped on something and she tripped, sailing into the bushes. Limbs poked into her, and prevented her from hitting the ground. It also didn’t provide any leverage to pull herself back up. Unfortunately, her efforts seemed to get a bramble vine twisted around her neck. She tried to dislodge it, but as her body rested upon it, it grew taut against her neck. As she struggled to free herself, the vine only seemed to become tighter.
Enchanting the Duke of Demoon (Touched by Fire Book 4) Page 16