by Jessie Keane
The Magnum had been in her hand before she had even been aware of her intention to draw it. That was the seriously scary part. She sat there and stared at the gun with the same hypnotic fascination as if she was staring at a poisonous snake. She had to put the thing away now, stow it somewhere safe, somewhere neither she nor anyone else could snatch it up with deadly intent. She sat there for a long time in the silence of the big house, thinking, thinking. And then she had it. She stood up, tottered a little on her feet. The brandy and the fear had all rolled into one big battering ram and now it hit her, full force. But she wasn’t going to put this off. She went and got some masking tape from the cupboard under the stairs where a few household tools were kept. Then she trotted off, staggering only slightly, to put the Magnum away.
Later, she made a couple of phone calls. She knew it was late, but what the hell. The first was to Adrienne.
‘What do you want?’ asked Adrienne when Lily told her who it was.
‘Nothing, Adrienne. I just wanted to say I hope you’re being careful, that’s all.’
There was silence. Then Adrienne said: ‘What, is that a threat?’
Lily looked at the phone in exasperation. ‘No, for fuck’s sake, of course it’s not a threat. Look, things have been happening to the women on that list of yours.’
‘You said that. What the hell do you mean?’
Lily told her about Alice Blunt’s apparent suicide, and Bev who was in intensive care having inhaled more smoke than ten thousand test beagles, and Suki who hadn’t survived the fire at all, the poor cow. ‘You knew about Julia, I suppose?’
‘Her getting marked like that? Yeah, I knew.’ Adrienne sounded worried now. As well she might. ‘That was bloody nasty, that.’
‘Adrienne, are you sure you’ve never shown anyone else that list? Apart from Jack – ’ who was now either dead or dying, and she couldn’t face telling Adrienne that – ‘and me?’
Adrienne was quiet for a moment on the other end of the line. ‘No. Look, I told you. I was telling the truth. Of course I haven’t. Why would I?’
‘No, you’re right, why would you?’ Lily frowned. ‘But it looks as if someone’s getting to the women on it. Wouldn’t you say that’s what it looks like?’
‘Yeah,’ said Adrienne, and now her voice reflected her fears. ‘Yeah. I would.’
‘So take care, Adrienne. That’s all I’m saying. This is just a heads-up. Watch out, okay?’
‘You started all this trouble,’ said Adrienne suddenly.
‘Hey – you kept the list,’ flung back Lily, stung.
‘I wish to God I’d never set eyes on you, Lily King, or your cheating rat of a husband,’ said Adrienne, and the line went dead.
Lily sighed and dialled again.
The phone was snatched up on the first ring.
‘Hello?’ demanded a female voice, very aggressively.
‘Reba? Reba Stuart?’ asked Lily, picturing the brassy madam in her mind, leathery skin and hair bleached to fuck. Mean, baleful eyes glaring out at the world.
‘Who wants her?’
‘This is Lily King.’
‘You bitch,’ snarled Reba.
‘What?’
‘Oh, don’t come the fucking innocent with me. You want to gloat now, I suppose. Ain’t that it?’
Lily looked at the phone. ‘What?’ she echoed faintly.
‘Oh yeah.’ Reba sounded seriously pissed off. ‘This is you. I know this is you, you rotten little mare. You can deny it all you like, but I know what I know.’
‘Hey, Reba – why don’t you tell me what you know? Because I’m in the dark here.’
‘We’ve been raided. We’ve been shut down. I’m looking at a stretch inside. But then you know all this. You grassed me up to the cops. Didn’t you?’
She’d only phoned Reba to warn her to watch herself. But something had obviously already kicked off.
‘Reba—’ she started.
‘No! I don’t want to hear another damned thing from you.’
‘Take care, Reba,’ said Lily quickly, before the madam could hang up on her.
‘You what?’
‘I said you’ve got to take care. There’s a list of Leo’s mistresses. And I think someone’s picking them off.’
There was silence on the other end of the phone. ‘You serious?’ said Reba, more quietly.
‘That’s what I phoned for, to warn you.’
‘What the f…’ breathed Reba.
Lily told her then. Laid it all out about Alice, Bev, Suki – and Julia.
‘Jesus,’ said Reba.
‘And if you’ve been raided, it had nothing to do with me. I’ve never grassed up anyone, Reba. You can believe it or not believe it, but it’s the truth.’
‘All right. Suppose I do believe you about that – which I fucking don’t. But this other thing. What the hell…?’
‘Believe that too, Reba. Keep safe, okay?’
‘All right. I will,’ said Reba, and hung up.
59
Coming to this point on the perimeter always filled Saz with a dreamy, nightmarish sense of déjà vu. It was nearly five o’clock on Thursday afternoon, and she and Jase were standing on the grass verge outside the wall surrounding the grounds of The Fort. Hardly any cars passed by, and that was good as far as Jase was concerned; that was excellent.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, thought Saz. Just being here again made her feel faintly sick. And she’d never liked Jase. She knew the feeling was mutual. She’d been doped up and pretty drunk when she had agreed to this last night. Now she wished she hadn’t, but she couldn’t very well go back on her word. Jase wouldn’t like it, and he was so uncertain of temper that you wouldn’t want to upset him, not ever.
She reckoned that Jase had been OD-ing on the steroids, he was so pumped up and aggressive. A lot of the guys in Uncle Si and Freddy’s orbit did that, big bulging muscles and an attack-dog attitude earned their keep, after all. But it was too late for second thoughts.
‘You’re sure it’s off now?’ Jase was asking her.
‘Yeah,’ she said, still feeling unhappy about this.
All around the wall there were sensors. The grounds themselves were crisscrossed with electric beams that would trigger an alarm if anything crossed them. But, between two and six every Thursday, it was all switched off, because the gardener was in the grounds.
She was sure all right. How many times as a kid had she come in and out of here on a Thursday afternoon, finding this little section of wall where the bricks were. All you had to do then was avoid the gardener, use your key to get into the house – she still had a key – and bingo, there you were, inside. It was a game, beating the system, proving how clever she was. Like Mission Impossible.
Her mother had come back and so she’d had to leave, but this was her home, she couldn’t be banished from it just like that, so she hadn’t handed back the new key. Fuck you, Mother dear.
‘I can’t see why you want to get into the house, though,’ she said to Jase.
‘I explained all that,’ said Jase with a theatrical sigh. ‘I’m going to wait until dark, okay? And I don’t want to risk being spotted by the gardener, see? He’d get spooked and I’d have to explain; it would all get too complicated and it would ruin the surprise. So I wait inside the house somewhere, in one of the spare rooms or some damned thing, until it’s dark – and then I sneak out and propose to her, ain’t that romantic?’
Yeah. It was. Very. Saz wondered if Richard would ever do such a thing, but she knew he never would. For a moment she was envious of Oli with the passionate Jase wooing her back after an argument. All she ever got from Richard after they’d rowed was sulks and the silent treatment for days on end: it really wore a person down. But then, Richard would never turn really nasty, and she had a feeling that Jase could do that in an instant.
She couldn’t back out now.
But coming here disturbed her. Brought back so many memories, of happy days and of hideou
s ones too. Happy times, sneaking around, hugging her secret to herself. Happy memories, and hideous ones. That night. Oh, that night. Coming back to see Dad, because he was there alone, Mum was away. Saz was Dad’s Best Girl, his favourite, so she sneaked back in to see him, surprise him. Surprise, Dad! Surprise!
And he had been surprised.
Very surprised indeed.
60
He watched them from along the road. He was tucked into the shadows of the woodland opposite the house, and he was thinking that this would be just fine if only he could lose Saz somewhere. No need to involve the poor little cow in all this – it was a shame but a man had to do what a man had to do. He’d do it, too. He’d work it out. He had to. He’d waited so long for this.
Inside prison, Lily King had been protected by an invisible ring of steel. Outside, she was more vulnerable, but Leo had done this gaff up like Fort Knox, which had been a problem when she had retreated inside the house, which she had done more and more, lately. She was getting nervous of coming out. He knew that.
She was right to be nervous, because given half a chance he was going to do it, have his revenge. Fuck Si and what he said all the time – wait, just wait; well, fuck that, and fuck Si too and fuck the horse he rode in on. Freddy was done with waiting. He’d been watching Jase chatting up Saz, and wondered what the hell all that was about, but now he knew, now he could see, and he was triumphant.
Saz had a way in. She was going to show Jase the way, probably to make up with Oli.
Oh, Jase boy, you are wasting your time, thought Freddy. Because he wasn’t going to get a chance to patch it up with Oli; he wasn’t going to get a chance for anything. Jase was long overdue a lesson, and tonight he was going to get it. Two birds with one stone, wallop. It would be sweet.
Freddy watched with satisfaction as Jase and Saz bent to the wall and started moving the bricks to one side.
Yes.
61
Nick phoned at just after six. Lily had paid the gardener at half past five, and then he’d left. She’d put the security system back on, and she was in the sitting room; the light was fading just a little outside. She went and pulled the drapes, switched on a light. A warm glow filled the room.
‘Hi,’ said Nick. ‘You okay?’
‘Shouldn’t I be?’
‘It shook you up, that happening to Jack Rackland.’
Yeah, and it was all my fault, thought Lily. Nick was right. She was stupid.
‘I’m just going to phone the hospital,’ she said.
‘Is that wise?’
Lily felt an edge of annoyance. ‘No. Probably not. But I can’t just let the poor bastard lie there and die.’
‘He might not be dead, yet.’
‘It looked pretty bad.’
‘Leave it to his family. Keep your head down. He’s in good hands.’
‘He don’t have a family. Well…only an ex-wife.’ Mouthy little Monica, whom Lily thought Jack was still in love with.
‘Even so. Leave it.’
Lily flopped down on the couch, drooping, her spirits low. She’d liked Jack; she’d appreciated his dedication and his humour. To see him like that…broken, bloody…had been horrible; it had left her shaken and sick. But Nick was right, she didn’t dare enquire about him at the hospital. If the police traced the attack back to Winston, it might not be long, despite all Nick’s assurances, before they came knocking at her door.
And then what?
She was terrified of going back inside; she’d rather top herself first. To be caged up again would be beyond awful, now that she’d had a taste of freedom. All right, she’d made no headway at all with Saz; but she was hoping that would change, given time.
I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry.
Sorry for what?
That refrain from Saz’s sleepwalking kept echoing through her brain.
Now she had to confront it. She had to face the possibility that it had been Saz, her own daughter, who had done that to Leo. And if it was Saz, where did that leave her? Where did it leave any of them?
Up shit creek, she thought miserably. Without a paddle and without a shred of hope that life would ever be normal again.
Lily wrenched her wandering mind away from the massive problem that was Saz, and instead she thought of Oli. Her little Oli had grown into a sweet and funny young woman; she loved spending time with her. And there would be Oli’s baby soon to spoil. If she had to go down again, she would miss yet more years with her precious girls. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – endure that.
And there was Nick, too.
Nick, who had been her first love. Nick, the man she should have married. She was – to her own shock – still head over heels in love with him; she could admit it to herself if to no one else. Just hearing his deep, gravelly voice on the phone gave her the shivers. If she got banged up again, where would that leave her and Nick?
Yet she had come within an inch of risking jail. Had pulled out the Magnum, and if Winston had kept coming she knew she would have used it. Blown him away – and blown away her own chances of freedom, too.
‘You still there?’ Nick was asking.
‘Yeah.’
‘You sure you’re okay? I could come over.’
‘No, I’m all right. I’m not good company right now. Think I’ll just get an early night.’
She could hear the Kaiser Chiefs being played loudly upstairs. Oli was in her room. Oli, who was pregnant with Lily’s first grandchild. That was something to be celebrated, even though the circumstances were far from ideal. But Lily didn’t feel in the mood for that, either. She felt a gnawing anxiety about Jack. Wanted to know he was okay. Or dead. Or something. She just wanted to know, either way.
‘You get some sleep. Okay?’ said Nick.
‘Okay.’
And he was gone. And it was then that Lily heard voices, a man’s and a woman’s, arguing in whispers in the hall.
62
Lily stood up and went to the half-open door of the sitting room, both curious and concerned. No one should be in here…unless Oli had invited some friends round? But Oli would have told her; she knew Lily didn’t like strangers wandering around the house.
Lily paused, just a step or two from the door into the hall. She knew the woman’s voice, the woman was Saz. Lily frowned. Saz had left, yet here she was, back inside the house. And…that wasn’t Richard’s voice. This voice was harder, harsher. Lily stopped in her tracks, and a buzz of fear went skittering up the back of her neck. She tiptoed to one side of the door, flattened herself to the wall behind it. She heard Saz hiss: ‘Look, I don’t know about this.’
‘You what?’ asked the man with her. His voice had risen. He toned it down. ‘You what?’ he whispered.
Lily looked through the gap beside the hinges on the door and saw Jase standing there with Saz.
What the hell…? she thought.
‘I don’t think we should go ahead with this. I’m sorry. But I don’t think Oli’s going to be very pleased about it. She don’t much like surprises. I really think—’
‘You think?’ Jase laughed at that. The sound echoed out there, bounced off the marble. Lily could see them across the hall, standing near the front door. Jase’s body language was confrontational; Saz’s was apologetic, head bent, her expression uncertain.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Saz, and gave an unhappy shrug.
‘It’s too late for changes of plan now,’ hissed Jase.
Saz’s head whipped up and she stared at him. Lily watched, wondering what the hell was going on. How had they got inside the house? And surprise Oli with what, exactly?
She was getting a bad, bad feeling about this.
‘Look, I’ve decided…’ whispered Saz.
‘No, you look,’ shot back Jase, his voice rising now, looming over Saz, stabbing at her with a finger to emphasize his point. ‘You just fuck off now, take yourself off somewhere, okay? If you know what’s good for you, because I got something I gotta do here, and I’m going
to do it right now.’
‘Oli won’t be impressed by this,’ said Saz, shrinking back a little.
‘Oli?’ Now he laughed, and it was an ugly, threatening sound. ‘Fuck Oli, the dozy mare. It’s your ma I’ve come to see. Time her and me had a little chat.’
And Lily saw Jase pull out a cosh, wield it in his right hand.
Shit a brick, she thought.
‘So where is she?’ asked Jase. He wasn’t even bothering to talk softly now. He was focused on what he had to do, that was all.
Saz said nothing. She stood there as if paralysed, looking at the cosh in Jase’s meaty hand.
‘Where is she?’ roared Jase.
Saz flinched and cowered back.
Jase advanced on her, smacking the cosh into his palm. ‘Come on, Saz. Tell me where the bitch is.’
‘You lied to me,’ said Saz shakily, backing away.
Saz, thought Lily in terror. Oh God, was he going to hurt Saz?
She wanted to dash out into the hall, throw herself at him, kill him with her bare hands. But her feet were frozen to the floor.
Suddenly Jase swung the cosh. Saz gave a cry and there was a sharp whack as the thing hit her cheekbone. She staggered back and fell. Lily clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle the scream of rage and terror that almost escaped her.
‘Where?’ bellowed Jase, standing over the poleaxed Saz. ‘You want some more of this? Do you?’
Saz was prone, clutching a hand to her bleeding cheek, sobbing. She shook her head wildly.
‘Tell me where,’ said Jase.
Saz said nothing.
Lily swallowed hard and stepped out, started to move around the door. Fuck it, she couldn’t let him hit Saz again. She couldn’t.
And then Oli’s voice from the top of the stairs said: ‘Jase? What the hell are you doing here? Oh my God. Saz? What’s happened? What’s he done to you?’