by Brenda Novak
He rubbed his temples. Who would’ve believed he could care so much?
THE NEXT MORNING, Conner wasn’t particularly pleased to find Rebecca instead of Delaney in the kitchen, preparing eggs, bacon and toast.
“Where’s Delaney?” he asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Rebecca considered him, then went back to turning the bacon that was sizzling and popping in the frying pan on the front burner.
“Where’s Delaney?” he asked again, and she finally deigned to answer.
“She had a doctor’s appointment.”
He almost said “Good,” but caught himself just in time. He’d been worried about the weight loss and wondering why her doctor wasn’t doing something to help with the nausea.
He took his usual place at the table with Roy, Grady, Ben and Isaiah, who were each cradling a cup of coffee while waiting for breakfast. “You didn’t have to fill in for her. She could’ve told me she needed the morning off.”
Rebecca widened her eyes. “Maybe she didn’t want to ask you for anything.”
“I can think of a few things she should’ve asked me two and a half months ago,” he grumbled under his breath.
But Rebecca heard him. Spatula in hand, she leaned against the counter and addressed his comment, even though it wasn’t specifically directed at her. “What happened two and a half months ago was more my fault than hers.”
Conner glanced at the others. “Let’s not talk about it right now.”
“Why not?” she countered. “It’s not like I’d be telling them anything new. It’s all over town.”
His co-workers stared into their cups as though coffee had suddenly become very fascinating. All except Roy, who seemed to have difficulty biting back a smile.
Conner shot him a dark look to see if that might help him regain his composure. “I don’t care what’s going around town. It’s my business.”
“Fine. I’m just trying to tell you that I put her up to it.”
“Great. So I have you to blame?”
She shrugged. “You can blame me if you want. Just quit feeling so sorry for yourself. I mean, you enjoyed what happened as much as she did.”
This time Conner was sure he heard a chuckle from Roy, and though he couldn’t quite see their faces, he had no doubt the others were smiling behind their mugs.
Standing, he strode across the room, wrested the spatula out of Rebecca’s hand and made a great point of giving it to Roy. “Watch the food,” he said, then dragged her into the hall.
“Whether or not I enjoyed myself in Boise is beside the point,” he whispered harshly, once they were alone. “I thought Delaney and I had an understanding about what was going on in that room.”
“You did. And she’s mostly lived by that understanding. You’re the one who showed up and then proceeded to throw a wrench into everything.”
“I didn’t put a wrench into anything. She changed my life forever—I had no choice in the matter.”
“You took a risk, okay? You trusted a complete stranger. But whether or not it changes your life is up to you.”
Conner pulled her a little farther down the hall, afraid the others could still hear. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“All Delaney wants is the baby. That’s all she ever wanted. It was between you and artificial insemination, okay? And let’s be honest, your services were a lot cheaper.”
Incredulous, Conner shook his head. “I knew she was using me, but this is ridiculous.”
“Oh, come on. You were using each other, and you both knew that from the start.”
“Mutual pleasure is one thing. A baby is another,” he replied.
“Only because you found out about it. You were supposed to live happily ever after in ignorant bliss. But then Delaney’s conscience kicked in and…and you know the rest. So you see? This is all a big misunderstanding. If you ask me, you should forget any of this ever happened.”
“I’m going to have a baby in less than seven months, and you think I should forget about it?”
“Why not? You’re obviously unhappy about the situation. So walk away. Nothing’s stopping you. Certainly not Delaney.”
Conner frowned. “You have a strange way of looking at things, Rebecca. But somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”
“Just walk away and Delaney will never contact you again, okay?”
“That’s what she wants?”
“That’s what she wants.”
What Rebecca said should’ve made him feel better, but it made him feel worse. It stung that he could be so insignificant now, especially when Delaney had made him feel anything but insignificant the night they’d created the baby. But he couldn’t have it both ways. This was what he really wanted—wasn’t it?
What if he took the escape Rebecca was offering him, walked away and forgot about Delaney and the baby? Everything that weighed so heavily on his mind—his doubts about being a good father, his fear of the repercussions within his family, his uncertainty over the future, or at least some of it—could simply fade away. And turning his back on this situation was nothing more than most people would expect of him.
But somehow he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk away. Not from his child.
“Sorry,” he said. “She took a risk, too. And no child of mine is going to grow up without its father.”
“I THINK YOU MIGHT BE in trouble,” Rebecca said as soon as Delaney returned from her doctor’s appointment.
“What trouble?” Delaney asked, depositing a bag of groceries on the kitchen table.
“Not so loud,” Rebecca warned. “Conner didn’t go out with the others after breakfast. He’s just down the hall.”
“What’s he doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“So why am I in trouble?”
Rebecca gave her arm a sympathetic squeeze. “He’s not willing to back off and leave you alone, Laney.”
“What’s he going to do?”
“I don’t know, but he told me this baby isn’t going to grow up without its father.”
“That could be a good thing,” Delaney said, trying to be hopeful.
“If that’s what you want to believe,” Rebecca replied. “You know what I think? I think you were crazy to give him the power to hurt you. I tried to—”
Delaney cut Rebecca off with a warning look. “Don’t say it. Don’t say I told you so. I’m not in the mood.”
Rebecca grabbed her jacket from one of the hooks along the far wall. “Okay, I won’t. I know how it feels to hear it. People have been shaking their heads at me for years.” She grinned. “But I told you so.”
Delaney propped a hand on her hip. “You’re also the one who said ‘What are the odds of running into Joe Schmoe Donor from Boise way out here in Dundee?’”
A guilty expression washed over Rebecca’s face, and she quickly changed the subject. “How are your assertiveness training lessons going?”
“I dropped out.”
“Why?”
“Because life is teaching me everything I need to know.”
Rebecca chuckled. “We make quite a pair, don’t we? I’m too bold and you’re not bold enough.”
“If Conner tries to take this baby away from me, he’ll find out just how bold I can be,” Delaney vowed, but she’d scarcely gotten the words out of her mouth when the louvered door swung open and Conner came in from the hall.
Delaney gave Rebecca an apprehensive look, wondering how much he’d overheard, but if he’d caught any of their conversation, he gave no indication.
“What did the doctor say?” he asked.
Surprised by the question, Delaney exchanged another glance with Rebecca. “Nothing, really. He gave me a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. That’s about it.”
He hooked his thumbs in his pockets and leaned one shoulder against the wall near the entrance. “Did he say anything about the weight you’ve lost?”
Conner had noticed? “He’s hoping the morning sicknes
s will ease. It usually does.”
“Who’s your doctor?”
“His name’s Wiseman. He’s in Boise.”
“Isn’t there a closer obstetrician?”
“There’s a general practitioner who delivers babies,” Delaney said. “But I don’t want to go to him. The whole town will know my situation in a matter of hours if I do. And I’m not in any hurry to spread the word. Why rush to be snubbed?”
“I think it’s a little late to keep this under your hat,” Conner said.
Delaney felt a jolt of anxiety. “Why?”
“Someone’s talking. Roy mentioned the baby to me just the other day.”
“He knows I’m pregnant?”
“He knows more than that. He knows I’m the father.”
“But how—” Delaney started, then stopped. Rebecca had been awfully quiet during this conversation. Surely she hadn’t mentioned anything to anyone at the salon…. “Rebecca?”
Ducking her head, Rebecca grabbed her purse. “Wow, is it that late already? Gotta go. I’ve got appointments lined up all day.”
“How could you, Beck?” Delaney asked. “I told you not to tell anyone.”
Rebecca jerked her head at Conner. “Well, he already knew, so the danger was over. And everyone was guessing that it was Billy Joe or Bobby, because we’ve been seen with them so often. No one would believe me when I said they had it all wrong.” She shrugged. “So I gave them a few details.”
“Like…”
“The father of your baby’s new in town, someone they’d never suspect, stuff like that.”
“In other words, you led them straight to Conner.”
“Would you rather have them think it was Billy Joe or Bobby?” Rebecca asked.
“No,” Conner said. Then he shoved away from the wall and left the room.
“No?” Rebecca repeated, her eyes round. “What are we supposed to make of that?”
Delaney shook her head. “I really don’t know.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WITH DELANEY and everyone else gone, the night was far too quiet as Conner sat in his study, halfheartedly flipping through the latest issue of Idaho Cattlemen. Since coming to Dundee, he’d pored through every ranching magazine he could lay hands on, trying to learn the business, trying to gain some bit of information that might help him put the Running Y in the black. But now that his grandfather had listed the ranch for sale, he no longer saw any reason to bang his head against that wall. Roy might think he was giving up too easily, but he knew his uncles. They wouldn’t be happy until they had the money from the ranch to invest in another hotel or office building or winery in California. They didn’t care that the Running Y hailed back to Clive’s roots, that it stood for something beyond profit. To them, it was all about dollars and cents. Nothing else mattered.
So why was the idea of letting go bothering him so much? With the ranch on the market, he no longer had to worry about failing. The big question—whether or not he could follow in his grandfather’s footsteps—would never be answered, and he could simply tread water until the ranch and all its problems disappeared. For whatever reason, his uncles had given him a graceful out. But somehow, taking that out made Conner feel more like a failure than if he’d kept fighting.
He tossed the magazine aside and considered calling his mother. He wanted someone to tell him there wasn’t anything more he could do, that the fate of the Running Y was out of his hands. Then maybe he could really let himself off the hook. But he knew she’d probably agree with Roy about giving up too soon, so he frowned and shoved the phone away. He couldn’t beat Stephen, Jonathan and Dwight. Not when they stood together. They’d always had too big an advantage.
“You gonna sit there all night, staring into space?” Roy said, poking his head through the doorway. He smelled as if he’d doused himself with an entire bottle of Brut cologne.
Conner blinked and focused on his foreman. “I thought you went into town with the others.”
“No, Isaiah has a date, and Grady and Ben say they’re too tired. What about you? You wanna go to the Honky Tonk?”
Conner winced at the memory of his last visit, when he’d sat alone for hours and drunk himself silly. It had hardly been a rip-roaring good time, and he hadn’t been back since. “I don’t think so. Place was dead when I was there.”
“That’s because you went in the middle of the week. No one here parties in the middle of the week. We got too much work to do. But it’s Friday night, and the Honky Tonk’s always packed on Friday night. Come see for yourself.”
“I don’t know,” Conner said. “I should really…” He let his words fade because he wasn’t sure what he should be doing anymore. Now that the ranch was passing out of his control, almost everything on his “to do” list seemed to have little point.
“Come on,” Roy said, adjusting the new hat he wore on social occasions. “It’s time you got out.”
Conner had never dreamed someone would say that to him—to his grandfather, yes, but not to him.
“Delaney will probably be there,” Roy added.
Conner shrugged as though that didn’t matter, but she was becoming such a regular fixture at the ranch that he was beginning to feel her absence whenever she was gone. Especially when she went home on the weekends….
But that was only because he couldn’t look out for her if she wasn’t around, couldn’t make sure she was taking care of herself for the baby’s sake, he decided.
“So?” Roy demanded.
“Sure,” Conner said. “Why not.”
“DON’T LOOK NOW, but Conner just walked through the door,” Rebecca said, nudging Delaney as they waited at the bar for their drinks.
“Great,” Delaney said. “I can’t escape him anywhere.”
“Why do you think he came? I’ve never seen him here before.”
Delaney frowned and allowed herself a covert glance across the room. She could easily see Roy and Conner cutting through the crowd, making their way to a table. Roy had scrubbed up and was wearing a western shirt and his dress hat, which added a few inches to his height. Conner looked more casual. He wasn’t wearing a hat, just the Wranglers that fit him so well and a thick fleece sweatshirt that he probably considered dressing down but went a long way toward accentuating his powerful shoulders and drawing female attention. Sliding a hand in one pocket, he paused to respond to someone who’d spoken to him, and when he shifted, Delaney saw it was Gloria Palmer, an old friend of hers from high school.
“He’s probably here for the same reason we are,” she said, feeling a stab of possessiveness she told herself she had no right to feel. “Just looking for a little entertainment.”
“Ignore him,” Rebecca said. “Don’t let him ruin your fun.”
Delaney accepted the soda water Rebecca handed her and pressed through the crowd until she reached the darts area in the corner, where Billy Joe and Bobby waited for them.
“I just hit a triple bull’s-eye,” Billy Joe announced, pointing at a red-tailed dart smack in the middle of the board. “See that and weep, ladies.”
“It doesn’t count,” Rebecca said with a shrug. “We haven’t started another game yet.”
“What do you mean, it doesn’t count?” Billy Joe complained. “I knew we were going to start another game, so I went first.”
“There’s your problem,” Rebecca told him. “I was supposed to go first.”
“What do you think, Laney?” Billy Joe asked.
Only half listening, Delaney returned to the conversation. “What?”
He gestured at the dartboard. “I think I should get to keep that triple bull, don’t you? This is our third game, and it’s my turn to start.”
“You started last time,” his brother told him.
“So?” Billy Joe argued. “If Rebecca was marrying me, I might let it slide. But she’s rejecting us both for some guy in Nebraska, as if anybody would want to live there. Anyway, Laney thinks I should get to keep it, don’t you, Laney?”
“Sure,” she said, “whatever,” and threw another glance over her shoulder to see Conner laughing with a small group near the jukebox.
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to her. She lost her ability to reason about five minutes ago.”
“No, I didn’t,” Delaney protested. “What is it you wanted to know?”
Billy Joe cocked an eyebrow at her. “You’re not drinkin’ now, are ya, honey? Because that’s not good for the baby. Even I know that.”
She held up her soda water. “I’m not drinking.”
“Then, what’s wrong?” Bobby asked. “You feelin’ sick again?”
“No, not tonight.”
“Well, if you’re feelin’ sad ’cause you wanna give that baby a daddy, darlin’, you just let me know,” Billy Joe said. “Because you don’t want no millionaire’s grandson, no siree. You want a real man like me.”
Delaney laughed. Thanks to Rebecca, just about everybody she saw knew about Conner and the baby. Billy Joe and Bobby had been teasing her all night, telling her she had to name the baby Billy Bob, after both of them. But she didn’t mind the secret being out in this setting. It was the people who decided her job future who worried her. When they learned about her situation, she doubted there’d be too much laughter.
“Your turn,” Rebecca said, after throwing her three darts and winding up with a double seventeen.
“Nice start,” Delaney said.
“She didn’t start, I did,” Billy Joe corrected. “And I got a triple bull.”
Delaney threw her own darts and landed a bull’s-eye on her first, and a twenty on her third. But she was having a tough time concentrating with Conner Armstrong only half a room away and every available woman in the place—and some who weren’t so available—fanning herself at the sight of him.
“He’s not that handsome,” she muttered, but even Rebecca seemed to disagree.
“Laney, you can call that man a lot of things, but unhandsome isn’t one of them.”
“Whose side are you on?” Delaney asked, looking over her shoulder yet again. Only, this time she found Conner staring right back at her and nearly dropped her drink. Immediately glancing away, she set her glass on the small round table where they kept their darts, grabbed Billy Joe’s arm and demanded he dance with her. He seemed a little befuddled by the sudden move, but he obliged, and a few minutes later, his brother and Rebecca joined them on the floor.