UNDER SIEGE (A Story Of Hope)

by Ciuri Di Badia

  Problems arise when they pass that stage and probably move in together or get married. They stop going out and only meet in the house. They stop looking forward to seeing each other since they are together every evening. Their excitement dies down and the relationship wilts. Their lives suddenly become so monotonous that it doesn’t delight them anymore. Their relationship suddenly becomes so predictable that they take it as a routine. Love slowly dies down and when it does, passion follows. There can be passion without love but there can never be passion after love. And if love dies, passion dies too.

  It’s at this point that the couple falls apart and their path becomes different. No more I love you’s, no more kissing, no more love making and no much talk. The only thing they share is just a house. A bed, I doubt. Separation or divorce follows and the cycle start all over again. It’s happening everywhere, so often, so fast and so real.

  Crash attractions are the most powerful emotional forces that leave our heads spinning. On the other hand, they can make you humble to a fault. But hey, have you ever put garlic or paprika into your lunch stew while you have neither pizza nor macaroni to supplement it?

  For grown-ups, lovers are a part of life. They have been there, they are there and in the future, they will always be there. That’s the way society operates. There exists a natural attraction between members of the opposite sex. It comes spontaneously.

  We all have felt fascinated by a certain girl or guy somewhere, sometime. No matter how old we are, the feeling of attraction is mutual. The way you respond to those forces of desirability determines how your dating life will become. Some get attracted to many people but choose to form a connection with only one. In contrast, others get attracted to only a few people and create a connection with all of them. The latter are the ones who are at times branded as players (for chaps) or loose (for ladies).

  Credence has it that most men always say that they are single. For that matter, they tell every girl they meet that she is their first love. Obviously, that is an outright lie. If it were so, where do dumped, booted or divorced guys go to? Do they not rejoin the gyrating, vicious group of spouse-hunters; often referred to as single and searching group? With a group consisting of such guys what can we expect? I bet it would be nothing short of trouble, liars, and cheating rogues.

  If you hear a man saying that he would keep off from the fact that it is a necessity that one has a lover in order to live pragmatically in this world, what would you think of him? A daydreamer? Yes! Tommy is a smashing broad daylight dreamer.

  The verity is that the more one alienates himself from that norm, the closer to it one feels. They even grow more and more penchant to the species from their opposite-sex. Eventually, they end up hurting because of breaking their own resolutions…..they promised themselves not to date anymore, and now, they find themselves dating…..it is so disappointing.

  To avoid all those displeasures, we should all be honest with ourselves and not make such mistakes as defying the rules of nature. Come on guys; let’s date, date and date. That’s the only strategy that can keep our hearts intact.

  That should teach us something: After a break up; the only way of getting over somebody is by hooking up with another person. Otherwise, they may find themselves in the itchy confines of loneliness. A lonely soul is a disturbed soul and it will ultimately seek solace in the arms they are used to-the arms of their EX. That should not confuse you though. When your see your ex coming back to you, it does not mean that they have suddenly changed their minds and fallen in love with you after they heartlessly dumped you….they are simply seeking a temporary shoulder to lean on. You just happen to be the most convenient person to provide that shoulder for them to rest their lonely soul on. But, be warned; the moment they get somebody and move on, they will trash the shoulder you provided just as they would to a sweet wrapper after they are done with it.

  * * * * * * *

  Chapter 6

  Tommy found himself paying visits to the run of the mill leisure parks and gymnasiums. It aided in killing his spare time. He also saw it as a self penance for his ‘bad’ habits of over-thinking about women and negative earthly ado’s. Besides being therapeutic, it diverted his attention and hence providing him with the stability that he was yearning for. He was then able to start putting his life back in order.

  There are two kinds of people you would find in such recreational places: The first group of people is that of the contented. It mainly consists of people of age. This people have achieved a lot in their long life and are out to have a nice time. Their minds are stress-free as nothing is bothering them. With their dreams having come to pass, they are done with lifetime plans. Also, they are through with self-esteem and most of them have actualized.

  The second group is that of losers in life, just like Tommy. Some of them are having nothing else to do or are just striving to turn a new leaf. Majority of them are young people who are either jobless, addicts or just something about them is amiss. They mostly have nothing to be proud of in their lives and so, they use those joints as a way of diverting their mind from harsh realities.

  It’s so uncomfortable to be in this group. Not knowing what one will do when he wakes up the following day, not sure of what might happen to him the next minute and not having any vision over his own life; it’s all unbearable. Not having anything positive to look forward to feels like one is psychologically dead. In such a scenario one has no motivation, no energy, no focus, no hope, nothing. He feels that he is just existing and not living and hence have nothing to loose. That’s why they are susceptible to finding themselves in high-risk behavior.

  The impartial group in between the losers and the winners seldom sets their feet in those time-passing areas. This is the most joule-de-vivre group we have in the society. Besides being lively and agile, the members are usually occupied with what they do in their lives. Most of their time is spent at work or with their esteemed families at home, enjoying an indoor bliss. There are yet others who are always going out with friends and lovers to have a good time. They frequent night clubs and bars where they talk and laugh, sometimes at the top of their voices. They then take rounds and rounds of drinks before ending their outings with dances in the discotheque. As they head back home, they discuss the events that transpired in the club.

  Persons in this group are consecrated in chasing their auspicious dreams that they see time as moving faster. They enjoy their lives and at the same time, make most out of it.

  Between the gym and the recreational park, Tommy preferred the former. He enjoyed the routines in the fitness center especially when they did some squats, bench presses and back rows. Those moves soothed his mild slipped-disc that usually resulted from the long hours he spent seated at work. Lifting heavy dumbbells invigorated him after a long and arduous week of plenty of work.

  He found himself dedicating all his spare time to his new found art. And it was worth it, both for his physical well being and his mental organization. He was therefore able to divert his attention from the negative, earthly temptations like clubbing and chasing skirts to positive things such as thinking about his future or even his own health.

  He regularly took a habitual point in the right nook of the exercise hall. He got used to that corner so much that he couldn’t think of taking any other spot. His work-out became more of an excitement than a routine. With time, each progressive visit to the gym felt like he was picking up from where he left the previous weekend. That way, he was able to be consistent.

  On some Saturdays, he overdid his stunts so much that his muscles cramped after exercises. It was a perfect moment for him to go for a massage or at times, yoga lessons. Those kinds of treats left Tommy relaxed and restored thus suppressing his insatiable libido. In that state, he no longer had to fight his raging hormones that usually drove him into making irrational decisions.

  After enough acclimatizing time at the gym, Tommy noticed that most trainees did not roll up in a regular manner. A new entrant would tu
rn up for a day or two and after that never to be seen again. Others would disappear for weeks and later come back again. But most would show up any other weekend. He wondered what those people wanted but he couldn’t really figure it out.

  Maybe some got bored and lost the passion to go on. On the other hand, others may have been on an adventure. They probably wanted to experience what gyms had to offer the moment they were done, they would erase it from their diaries.

  A few others are those who always go along with others as if they have nothing to do with their lives. They follow their friends everywhere as they go about their businesses. When their friends decide to do riding during weekends, they buy bikes too. When their friends stop biking and enlist as members of some gym, those zealots buys track-suits too. They just don’t want to be left behind. They want to be identified with their ‘cool’ friends. Unfortunately, they cannot initiate something ‘cool’ on their own. So, as their friends are quitting the gymnasium to probably start clubbing, those adherents are pulling down their track-suits and in its place, they bling-up for the dance floor; all in the name of being a self-made disciple. They usually get me wondering; if their friends got frustrated with life and probably decided to poison their way back to their creator, would they walk to the nearby drug store to also buy the deadliest dope?. Your guess is as good as mine…yes they would!

  The next and the last but not least clique of attendants were a little better than those who played disciples. They were on pursuit of some lady or guy who attended the fitness lessons and used the venue as a seduction platform. That is what I call fake fatalism. It is usually employed by obsessed men. When they are eyeing a certain lady, they plot some bumping-on incidences that seem natural. They make them happen frequently and in many places. To the girl, it looks like fate is pushing them to meet.

  For example, let’s look at a scenario at a train station; if a guy eyes a girl who got into a train in a lot before him, he would try to make it earlier the following morning so that they would get into the same train. If it is him who got into the train in a lot preceding hers, he would adjust his schedule such that he would be a little late the following morning; all for the same reason-being in the same train with the gorgeous girl.

  When they get into the gym, they make sure that they take a position behind the person they admire. With that, they not only have an opportunity of ogling at them without being noticed, but also have a great chance of partnering with them when stunts require them to. It’s what brought them to the fitness center in the first place-not to learn, but to seduce. Their only undoing is that, with their intentions to seduce, they kill the main purpose of the gym.

  The obsessed group of people follows their interests in a bid to benefit themselves by winning the hearts of the people they follow. On the other hand, the disciples follow their friends just to get affiliated with what they are doing. That’s why I said that the former is better than the latter. In another contrast, the obsession group takes initiative to work towards their goals whereas the disciple group does what their friends decide to do. Please, don’t misunderstand me; I’m not approving what those seducers do but am just stating what happens. In short, I’m just saying that when you seduce a killer, you kill the seducer.

  The last group of attendants was that of guys like Tommy who were interested in the gym for what it had to offer. Those guys were diligent and they did whatever was required of them. They pushed themselves to the limit as they maximized their time there. Some of them were preparing for some competition while others wanted just to be physically fit. There were those who seriously wanted to loose weight whilst others aimed at strengthening their bodies so that they could cope with some ailments that they were suffering from. All in all, they had genuine reasons for being in the gymnasium.

  Tommy observed many people there. They would come and go. Better still, others would come, stay for a while, then go. However, he noticed that a certain lady showed up on a regular basis. Her name was Angie. She was not only young but also beautiful and attractive. She always paid attention to the instructor as he demonstrated gymnastic moves. She would sedulously follow each step while playing along with the instructor. That’s the part she enjoyed most. She would learn the concept behind each callisthenic and do it in her own way. I tell you, it worked.

  At first, she had difficulties in maneuvering the basic Akimbo-hop-jumping and ankle slaps, but with time she loosened up and they all sunk in. She soon sharpened her skills, becoming one of the best in the art. On one of her signature stunts, she was able to limbo dance at a half a meter; an act that challenged many people considering the body flexibleness that was required.

  Many a times, Tommy marveled at her stunning agility, especially when the Spanish trainer used her as an exemplar to illustrate intricate military tactics. He admired her arms, legs and more so, her body. He did not know why, but he just knew he did. Sometimes he got disrupted as he struggled to ogle at her.

  In each woman, there is something unique that a man sees that he has never seen in any other woman. For Tommy that thing was Angie’s body. She had the most entrancing body that many men have never seen. It was so eye-catching that it was almost impossible not to notice her. Lo, each time Tommy looked and internalized her proportionally endowed burst and curves, he would almost let go, there and then. In her sports track suit, her narrow waist diverged towards her protuberant back. Male trainees would bite their index nail on the sight of that….and so would the trainer.

  She was just more than a Gods gift for men. More so, men like Tommy; not Tommy of then, but the Tommy of six months before. Ya, the kind of Tommy who would go ga ga in the presence of a beautiful woman like Angie.

  Slowly, Tommy nurtured a fad on Angie. He constantly felt an inescapable force within him that was compelling him to make a move. On the flip side, the force was also telling him that he should act quickly lest a hungrier hawk snatch the fish before him. Nevertheless, he still wouldn’t bring himself to breaking the promise that he made to himself after his trial. He thought of it but, he just couldn’t do it.

  As times passed, numbing temptations fell on Tommy like tiny drizzling droplets of nauseating sand beads. Those temptations confused him even more. He was torn between clinging to his post-trial resolutions and starting a voyage into Angie’s world. He didn’t know which way to go. It was as if destiny was playing a dirty trick on him. It was only offering him with limited choices; he either had to succumb to its calling or continue being a macro-deficient-thigh-admirer: either way, he was damned. He was in an ill-fated limbo that only he would save himself.

  Tommy was resting on a hammock on one Sunday evening, when strange thoughts came to his mind. They were so spontaneous that they set his heart on fire. As he ruminated about his recent cogitations with the young woman from the aerobics studio, his face lightened up with admiration. He liked her but he didn’t know how much.

  His mind went over and over his encounters with Angie but he couldn’t bring it to a halt. He just loved the feeling. Visualizing her image fulfilled his spirit as remembering her voice soothed his every inch. It was as if she was the cure to all his troubles. He longed to see her face, he longed to hear her voice, he longed to hold her hand; he just longed for Angie.

  Tommy continued to careworn with his thoughts. Not sure of where they were leading him to, he just went along with them, just as he would to his instincts. Later, found himself in retrospection about his own feelings when he sought to understand what has been happening to him lately. It roughly went like this…..

  “How can this stupid fascination with Angie develop during my love-fasting period? A similar enthrallment recently led me stumbling down till I ended up in jail. The down driving brought me to love-fasting; now that love-fasting want to take me back to the beginning? How can it boomerang back to me? What a backfire?”

  Tommy’s mind razed in muddle as prosaic questions continued pounding on.

  “I am now betraying my own conscience by ha
ving an interest in the females of my own species. I’m becoming a prisoner to the lascivious encores of my past. It’s like I’ve taken elixir paraphernalia that keeps on perpetuating my predicaments.

  I cannot help myself; I either avoid love in totality and risk ending up forlorn in solitude or be heartbroken when chasing it. No choice is better than the other. If I completely seclude myself from the lovey-dovey, I’ll experience an opposite-sex-infatuation-syndrome. On other hand, if I continue chasing women, I’ll I risk having my hopes shattered and being left with a broken heart.”

  Tommy paused for sometime before he continued with his rhetorical telltales.

  “Am I retarded in any way? Whatever the case, I feel that I will impassively fall for love once more and possibly continue with my ever-tragic-love-endings. Be it remaining single or resuming dating; let the one with softer viciousness take its precedence. I am done with weighing up the issue.”

  Time passed before Tommy’s mind settled with a decision to go for Angie. He sorted his long-kept tactics before laying down his plan. After setting conducive conditions, he was ready to give his fluke a go. First, he made sure that they met every Saturday after work-out. At those times, they habitually exchanged greetings, experiences and opinions. It’s those simple interactions that triggered an initial chemistry that opened them up and finally set the ground for them to be drawn to each other. And when two people are drawn to each other, they tend to snuggle together and it’s from there that things kick off. The rest is up to destiny. You see, all you got to do is to play your part, and when it ends, destiny will take over and play the rest.