Midnight came and went, and though she fought it her eyes grew heavy out of the sheer exhaustion of worry. Unable to fight it any longer, she stretched out on the couch, still clutching the cushion, and within no time at all sleep claimed her.
CHAPTER SIX
‘KATHRYN?’
The soft sound of her name being gently repeated drew Kathryn from the depths of sleep. Rolling over, she stared blankly at the man who sat on the edge of the couch, one hand resting on the back cushion as he bent over her.
‘Joel?’ she murmured groggily, rubbing at her eyes. ‘What time is it?’
He brushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes, his gaze running over the lines of her face softened by sleep. ‘A little before three. Why aren’t you in bed?’
Memory returned with a rush. The emergency call. Her hours of anxious waiting. ‘I wanted to wait up for you. How did it go?’ Lord, she was so relieved to see him alive and well. Her eyes ate him up, noting the faint signs of weariness about his eyes. She wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him close, but was afraid of how much that would give away. All she could do was lie there and pretend she hadn’t been worried to death.
‘It went well. Lucky, our dog, found them without too much trouble, thank God.’
If Lucky were here, she would give her the hug she couldn’t give Joel. ‘And the walkers?’
‘One has a broken leg, the other cracked ribs, but apart from the effects of exposure they’re OK. They should consider themselves damned lucky.’
‘I’m sure they do. Did you read them the Riot Act?’
Joel dragged a weary hand through his hair, ‘Pat, our team leader, did that. Not that it will do much good. Some people never learn. We’ll probably be out rescuing the same group next year. I don’t know why I do it. It’s a mug’s game.’
This time Kathryn went with her instincts and sat up, slipping her arms around him in an all too brief hug. ‘You do it because you’d never forgive yourself if they could have been saved and you’d done nothing.’
He eased her away, looking at her quizzically. ‘Is that so?’ he queried, running an exploring hand up and down her spine, setting her nerve-endings tingling.
She nodded. ‘You’re a good man, Joel Kendrick. You’ll never get me to believe otherwise.’
‘How can you be so sure? You barely know me,’ he argued, and she sighed, using her fingers to comb back hair that fell forward over his forehead.
She couldn’t tell him it was because her heart knew him. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. All she could do was shrug carelessly. ‘I just know. Call it woman’s intuition.’ He smiled at that, and her eyes dropped to his lips. Before she could think better of it, she pressed her own lips to his in a swift kiss.
Their eyes locked, and all at once the temperature in the room rose by several degrees.
‘What was that for?’ Joel asked huskily, and she licked her lips, aware that by her action she had instigated a course of events that had only one ending.
‘I just felt like it,’ she returned, equally huskily.
‘Hmm. Is there anything else you feel like doing?’ The question was little more than a tantalising growl.
Her heart kicked. ‘We-ell, I could think of several things, but you must be exhausted,’ she responded, more than a little breathlessly.
His soft laugh shivered over her flesh. ‘Sweetheart, right now I don’t feel the least bit exhausted,’ he confided, his roving hands finding the hem of her sweater and slipping underneath, searing her with the heat of his touch.
Kathryn closed her eyes and moaned softly as her own hands forayed over the breadth of his back and shoulders, delighting in their latent power. ‘Aren’t you hungry? I made dinner. It won’t take a minute to heat up.’
His mouth found the line of her jaw and traced a path of kisses up to her ear. ‘Kathryn, Kathryn. What I’m hungry for is already hot,’ he sighed, nipping at her earlobe, making her gasp and shiver.
She rubbed her cheek against his. He needed a shave, but she didn’t mind. The slight growth of beard only added to his maleness. A faint smile curved her lips as they brushed his ear. ‘It will keep—unless you can’t wait,’ she teased, and he groaned, abandoning his exploration of her back to cup her face in his hands, looking at her with eyes that blazed with barely suppressed passion.
‘I’ve waited long enough as it is. I’m a starving man with a hunger only you can satisfy.’
The confession was music to her ears. ‘Then eat,’ she invited huskily. ‘Everything I have is yours.’
It was all the invitation Joel needed, and he brought his mouth down on hers, kissing her with an almost desperate passion, taking her lips, parting them, seeking out the honeyed depths of her mouth with his tongue. And Kathryn welcomed him wholeheartedly. She wanted this—needed it. Whatever he might feel for her, she loved him, and the only way she could ever show it was in the giving of her body. Tonight they would make love, and it would be precisely that for her.
Joel broke off the kiss long enough to throw some cushions onto the floor before the low burning fire, then he laid her down on the rug and joined her there, taking her in his arms once more. Like a forest fire in a tinder-dry wood, passion needed only the faintest spark to ignite, and within seconds it was blazing. Feverish kisses were soon not enough, and clothes were a barrier that drove Kathryn wild with impatience. She wanted to feel him, touch him, know him in every way there was, and what her hands could find beneath his sweater was not enough. With a grunt of annoyance, she tugged at the sweater, hauling it up, only to meet the barrier of his arms. But they were two minds with a single thought, and Joel moved, sitting up to pull the sweater over his head and throw it across the room.
Meanwhile Kathryn was removing her own sweater, and he took it from her, tossing it to join his own. She would have reached for the front clasp of her bra, but Joel stopped her. Swiftly straddling her hips, he pushed her hands to the floor beside her head before trailing his fingers down the tender inner flesh of her arms and across her chest, finally hovering at the shadowy cleavage between her achingly sensitive breasts. Instinctively her body arched, inviting him to release the clasp and touch her as she longed for him to do. Her lashes fluttered as at last he undid the fastening and peeled the lacy scrap aside. He touched her then, but it was gentle, almost worshipful, and she shifted beneath him, needing more. After what seemed an age, yet was mere seconds, his hands cupped her tumescent flesh, his thumbs finding her turgid nipples and caressing them into aching points.
A whimper of pleasure broke from her as she watched Joel lower his head and take first one nipple and then the other into his hot mouth and lave them with his tongue. Unable to lie there unmoving, Kathryn lifted her hands to the thick dark mass of his hair and clung on as delicious frissons of pleasure chased paths through her body, starting up a throbbing ache deep within her. Then he moved, his lips and hands tracing scorching paths down her body, meeting the barrier of her leggings only momentarily as he tugged them down, and then they were gone, along with the rest of her clothes.
‘Beautiful,’ he murmured, as he retraced the trail up her legs to the juncture of her thighs, parting them to seek out the hot, moist centre of her, tightening the coils of passion from which there could only be one outcome.
‘No. Wait,’ Kathryn protested faintly, wanting this to be a shared pleasure. But Joel had other ideas.
‘This time is for you,’ he insisted throatily, and continued working his magic on her until one last stroke sent her tumbling over the edge.
Heart racing, she lay with eyes closed as the shattered fragments of her senses reformed. Only when Joel came up beside her, one hand gently brushing damp hair from her face, did she open her eyes and look at him reproachfully.
‘That wasn’t fair,’ she sighed, her desire momentarily appeased.
He smiled, his fingers tracing the ridge of her collarbone and its almost transparently silky skin. ‘All is fair in love and war,’ he argued
, and that brought a spark to her eyes.
‘Then it’s my turn,’ she declared, rising up so that he was forced to fall back, and in an instant Kathryn was straddling his body. Grinning dangerously, she met his gleaming blue gaze. ‘Scared? You should be, because I’m going to make you pay,’ she promised as her hands ran forays over the taut planes of his powerful chest.
Joel’s teeth flashed. ‘Do your worst. I can take it,’ he retorted, then his breath hissed in through his teeth as she found his flat male nipples and flicked them with her nails.
Smiling with satisfaction now that she had his attention, Kathryn dropped her gaze to his chest. It felt wonderful to touch him with such freedom, and she gloried in the way he responded to her, keeping nothing back. It was immensely arousing, and she felt her desire stir to life again as she set about tantalising him as he had her. Dipping her head she let her lips find his nipples, and her teeth nipped him, bringing a gasp of pleasure from deep in his throat, then her tongue traced lazy circles before flicking back and forth across the sensitised nubs.
Slowly, slowly she traced a moist pathway down over his flat stomach, feeling the tension grow inside him as she approached the waistband of his jeans. She rose then, her bottom lip caught between pearly teeth as she dealt with the clasp and zip, releasing the aroused male flesh that thrust against his shorts. It was no accident that her hand brushed him as she tugged his pants and jeans down together, and his body jerked up from the floor, a bitten-off curse remaining strangled in his throat. Then she tossed the clothes aside and he lay before her in all his naked male glory. There was no doubting his wanting of her, and she felt her own body start to throb with awakened desire.
It was no longer easy to keep her movements slow and tantalising. Her hands trembled faintly as she ran them over his thighs, getting closer but never quite reaching the place she instinctively knew he wanted her to. Finally she relented, and, as he had done to her, she caressed him, driving him inexorably towards the edge. Joel moaned aloud, and reached for her.
‘No more!’ he gritted out through clenched teeth as her head came up, and she looked at him, meeting the fiery blaze in his eyes. Knowing he could take no more, Joel clasped her hips, holding her to him as he sought to keep some measure of control.
‘Joel.’ His name was an ache of longing on her lips, and with it his immense control finally broke. He pulled her down, rolling over so that she was beneath him at last, and he claimed her with one powerful thrust. The presence of him inside her made her feel complete for the first time in her life, and Kathryn clung on, matching his thrusts, seeking an ending that suddenly overwhelmed her, sending her plummeting out into the vortex on a wave of incredible pleasure. Seconds later Joel joined her, climaxing with a groan that seemed to be drawn from the very depths of his being.
Clinging together, they rode out the stormy seas of passion until at last they washed up on the shore, replete and exhausted.
It was a long time later that Joel stirred and became aware that he still lay on top of her. Shifting to one side, yet seemingly unwilling to release her, he hauled her in to his side, settling her head on his shoulder. Then he closed his eyes, and within seconds was asleep. Poised on the edge of sleep herself, Kathryn sighed and laid her hand over his heart.
‘I love you,’ she whispered, needing to say it and safe in the knowledge that he could not hear her. Then, closing her eyes, she followed him into sleep.
She was jerked awake abruptly, hours later, and lay still with heart thumping as she tried to work out what was happening. Her back was warm, and she realised that some time during the night they had shifted; now Joel lay sleeping with his body cupped around hers, spoon-fashion. She became aware of other things. The room was warm, although the fire had gone out, which meant the central heating had kicked in. Just as well, as they were both lying as naked as the day they were born.
Her lips quirked, but an alien sound quickly wiped it away. It was the sound of a door closing, followed by the unmistakable sound of a car driving away. In a flash she realised that it could only be Agnes returning, and she was sure that in a few minutes or less she would be walking into the sitting-room, where the sight which would reach her eyes would be intensely embarrassing for all concerned.
Looking around desperately for something to cover them with, she caught sight of a throw folded over the arm of a chair. Footsteps crossed the hall as she reached for it and hastily shook it out over them. It didn’t cover everything, but enough for modesty, which was just as well—for in the next instant the door was being opened and Agnes came in.
Their eyes met, one pair in surprise, the other in dismay. Yet though her cheeks were burning hot enough to start a fire, she didn’t want Joel to wake up. He had had a busy night, what with one thing and another. So she held her finger to her lips to prevent Agnes from saying anything, and indicated that she would join her outside in a moment. At first she thought the other woman would not comply, but in the end she turned and quietly left the room again.
Kathryn eased herself away from Joel, freezing when he murmured something in his sleep, but he merely turned over and she scrambled to her feet, pausing only to drape the throw over him so that he didn’t get cold. Dressing took some time, as her clothes were scattered about the room, but less than ten minutes after Agnes had arrived Kathryn left the room and went in search of her. She found her in the kitchen making tea.
Agnes paused long enough to give Kathryn a speaking look. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she said forthrightly, though there was neither reproof nor dismay in her tone.
Kathryn combed her dishevelled hair with her fingers and folded her arms defensively. ‘I think I do,’ she responded, feeling uncomfortable at having been found in a compromising position.
Setting the pot of tea on the table, Agnes quickly produced cups and saucers, milk and sugar, then indicated Kathryn should take a seat. She joined her, but said nothing until two steaming cups had been poured out, then she sighed and looked Kathryn squarely in the eye.
‘I love Master Joel, but I’m not blind. He plays with women. I’ve seen them come and go. Some, quite frankly, I was glad to see the back of, and others I thought might make him a good wife. A few of them even loved him, but the majority didn’t. They used him, and one by one they changed him from the loving boy I remember. One in particular…’ She broke off, biting her lip uncertainly, and Kathryn held her breath, because from the demeanour of the other woman it was obvious there was something she should know.
‘What about her?’ she probed carefully, and Agnes looked at her sombrely.
‘I’m telling you this because I like you, and I can see you’re a good girl. He won’t let himself fall in love with you because of that woman. I could see she was a flighty piece, but he was crazy about her. They were to be married until he discovered her with another man. One she was in love with but who didn’t have Joel’s money. The idea was that she would eventually get a divorce, and the pair of them would live on her settlement. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when Joel broke it off, she got her revenge by telling him she had aborted his child. Was quite blatant about it,’ Agnes revealed with a shudder of distaste.
Kathryn gasped, horrified. She had been right to suspect there was a woman behind Joel’s attitude, but she could never have suspected this. ‘Oh, dear God, how could she?’ That was something she could never do.
‘Easily, because she was a cold, evil woman. It sent him crazy for a while, and we all despaired of him. Then he sobered up, and when he did there was a wall around his heart inches thick, and it’s getting thicker year by year. Love doesn’t exist for him. He won’t let anyone get close, and that will destroy the woman who loves him. He will be kind, and generous, but he will keep his heart locked away. I’ve seen it happen before, and I don’t want to see it happen to you,’ Agnes said gently, as if she knew Kathryn’s secret.
‘What makes you think it will?’ she charged, trying to keep her voice steady, but it wavered
tellingly.
Agnes sipped at her tea carefully, then looked at her over the top of the cup. ‘Because you’re here and he isn’t. Your thoughts are for him, not yourself.’
Kathryn felt heat rise in her cheeks again, and knew how revealing that was. ‘He had to go out onto the hills yesterday, for a rescue, and didn’t get in until this morning. I thought he needed the sleep.’ She explained away her actions, but Agnes was no fool, as was becoming clear.
‘Maybe, but most of the others would have woken him and sent him out to deal with me and cover their blushes.’
Kathryn didn’t want to be reminded of the others, and refused to think of those who would come after her. She was with him now. This was her time. ‘I’m not like the others.’
Agnes reached out and patted her hand kindly. ‘No, you’re not. I only wish I could believe it would make a difference.’ She sighed and shook her head sadly. ‘I’m afraid Master Joel won’t change.’
Kathryn stirred her tea for a second in silence, then sighed. ‘You’re right, I do love him,’ she said honestly. ‘But he’ll never hear that from me. He must never know, and you must promise not to tell him either. You see, I don’t expect him to love me. He’s made that quite clear. So as far as he’s concerned, this is just another affair. I know it’s going to hurt when it’s over, but it would hurt a lot more if he was to pity me. I believe I can take anything but that,’ she added with a wince, and Agnes’s expression changed to one of compassion.
‘Don’t get yourself into a fret. I’m no tattletale. Your secret is safe with me,’ she promised. ‘I wish there was something I could do, but it’s gone too deep with him. I’ll pray for you, though. Pray that he comes to his senses and sees what’s staring him in the face. You’d be good for him. I can only hope he will come to see that, too.’
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