And with a bit of luck he wouldn’t find out Jesse had paid off his store account until Jesse was long gone.
Jed’s pride would take a hit initially, but Jesse hoped his brother would eventually appreciate what he’d done—or at least take advantage of the renewed line of credit to take care of some outstanding maintenance issues around the ranch.
It didn’t matter if he was pissed off with Jesse, as long as paying down the account took some of the pressure off.
The truck loaded up, Jesse climbed behind the wheel and headed for home.
Chapter Seventeen
CJ half expected Jesse to make some joke about her being a sleepyhead when she woke, or to simply pounce on her the way he had every morning so far, but he didn’t say a word and when she rolled over she discovered why—the bed was empty. She sat up and glanced toward the bathroom, but the sliding door was open, and there was no sound of anyone moving around.
She flopped back onto her pillow, aware of a sense of disappointment. Making love to him in the mornings had swiftly become her favorite way to start the day. She loved the sleep-warm smell of his skin and the roughness of his whiskers, and she especially loved how eager and urgent he was.
But not today, apparently.
Someone’s getting a little spoiled.
Indeed.
She checked the time on her phone and saw it was just after seven. Definitely time to get up. Thanks to the lack of supplies there was no fencing to do today, but she was sure there’d be something else she could lend a hand to—there was always work to be done on a ranch.
She was about to slide out of bed when she saw Jesse had left her a note on the counter near the bed: Gone to town, back soon. J.
That explained that, then.
She had a quick shower, smiling every time little flashes from last night came back to her. She’d had such a good time going out for dinner with Jesse, and it had been hotter than hot making out with him in his truck. All the fun of teen nostalgia with the perks of being an adult thrown in.
And then he’d made the night perfect by telling her he didn’t want to let her go at the end of the week. The memory was so sweet she closed her eyes, savoring it.
He’d been braver than her. She’d been busy protecting herself, trying to guard her heart, telling herself not to invest too much and that she didn’t need this in her life right now—and Jesse had just put it out there, no bullshit or games.
One of the many reasons she was so besotted with him.
The only faint, far-off cloud on her horizon was the tickle of unease she felt every time she thought about their disagreement regarding Jed. She’d pushed a little, stuck her toe into deep waters, and he’d locked down, tight. It worried her a little, how firmly he’d held her at arm’s length. Especially when he was prepared to be so open about his other feelings.
But surely that would change, now that they’d committed to each other. Surely now they’d both admitted this was no fling, that this was real, he’d feel safe enough to talk about what was clearly a deep wound where his brother—his family—was concerned.
CJ stilled in the shower, warm water sliding over her skin, a frown on her face. Then she shook off the shadow of worry. Last night had been amazing. She refused to be a glass-half-empty person, not today.
She finished her shower, then dressed in her work clothes and headed up to the house. Sierra looked up from where she was eating toast at the table as CJ entered the kitchen.
“Morning. Coffee’s fresh, and I made bread last night and it’s pretty damn fine, if I do say so myself.”
“Yum. I’m going to miss your cooking when I go,” CJ said, pouring herself a cup of coffee before walking across to top Sierra’s up. She’d learned over the last few days that Jesse’s sister was a caffeine fiend, never passing up a chance to mainline more.
“Guess you’ll just have to come stay again,” Sierra said with an arched look.
“Guess I will,” CJ said.
Sierra put down the piece of toast she was holding. “Okay, I want to say something, and it’s probably going to come out sounding weird. But here goes—whatever you did to Jesse, please keep doing it, because I haven’t seen him this happy in years. Plus I really like you. In fact, I might have a lady crush. Hope that’s okay.”
CJ nearly snorted coffee out her nose when Sierra tacked on the last part of her speech. “I really like you, too. And I didn’t do anything to Jesse. Apart from the, um, obvious.”
“Well, I guess you should just keep doing that, because this is the longest he’s stayed home since he left, and it’s been really, really nice having him here,” Sierra said.
“How long does he normally stay?” CJ asked.
“Forty-eight hours, max. Every time. And then he’s out of here. So we’re at an all-time record right now. Almost clocking up a full week.”
Her tone was light, but her eyes were sad.
CJ hesitated, but she and Jesse had committed to each other last night and she needed some background to guide her. She sat at the table, nursing her coffee cup between both hands.
“What’s the problem between him and Jed?” she asked boldly.
Sierra sighed. “You noticed that?” she asked dryly.
“Just a little.”
“When Jesse was eighteen, Jed kicked him out,” Sierra said.
“Ah,” CJ said. She hadn’t anticipated that. She’d thought maybe there’d been some dispute over managing the ranch, hence Jesse’s reluctance to tackle Jed regarding any financial problems the ranch might be experiencing.
“Mom and Dad had only been dead a year. It was a horrible time. Casey disappeared into himself. I cried so much I was pretty much permanently dehydrated. Jed threw himself into managing this place. And Jesse…Jesse took it hardest out of all of us, I think. He was so unhappy, and he never seemed to want to be here. He was always out with friends from the football team, coming home stinking of beer and weed. He was messing up at school, too, and they told him he wouldn’t graduate if he didn’t get his crap together. Of course, Jesse took that as a challenge and played up even more. Jed tried to talk sense into him, but mostly they just yelled at each other.”
Sierra looked down at her coffee.
“Things came to a head when Jed finally convinced me to have a birthday party. It had been just over a year since they’d been gone, and we were all starting to get used to the sadness. I knew Jed wanted me to be happy, so I said yes. Had a couple of friends over to stay the night. And Jesse rolled up, drunk as a skunk, being loud and obnoxious. Jed told him to go to bed, Jesse took offence, and wound up punching Jed in the face.”
“Oh, wow,” CJ said. She’d seen her brothers scuffle over the years, but they’d never had an all-out fight where they’d thrown punches meant to truly hurt and maim. “You must have been terrified.”
“It was awful. Jed just stood there, didn’t put his fists up. Casey got between them. Jesse looked devastated, as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. The next morning, Jed talked to him out in the barn. I don’t know exactly what went down between them. Jed told us that he gave him an ultimatum—shape up or ship out, because Jed had his hands full with everything else and didn’t have the time to carry Jesse as well. Anyway, Jesse came up to the house afterward and started throwing stuff into a bag. Then he drove off, and we didn’t hear from him for months.”
Sierra’s eyes were shiny with tears at the memory and CJ reached across to squeeze her forearm.
“Sorry for bringing back bad memories.”
“I’m fine. It’s just I know those two idiots love each other like crazy. Jed was sick with worry after Jesse left. Used to stay up late, searching around on the Internet, trying to find some clue where he was. He’d ring Jesse’s friends, ask if anyone had heard from him. When Jesse finally called, Jed walked outside and when he came back his eyes were all red.” Sierra shook her head, her mouth twisting with frustration. “Why do men always try to hide their soft side? It drives
me nuts.”
“Because they get told they have to be tough all the time,” CJ said. She’d seen it with her brothers, heard her father telling them to suck it up and toughen up.
“Well, the world could do with more softness as far as I’m concerned. I’m over the tough-guy shit.”
“So Jesse obviously came home again at some point?”
“Only because I harassed his ass. Called him every week, cried on the phone, begged him to please come home for Christmas. And he finally agreed. I thought the two of them would sort their crap out if they could just be in the same room. It had been four years since Jesse left by then. He was working as a pickup rider with the rodeo, hadn’t started riding saddle bronc yet. Jed was older; everything was more settled here with the ranch. I figured they’d be able to talk calmly and put it behind them. But they didn’t talk at all, as far as I can tell. Not about anything important. It was like they were strangers, they were so polite and careful with each other. Unless Jed said anything big brotherly, then Jesse’s back would go up so fast… And it’s never really moved on from there, even though Jesse has been home half a dozen times since then.”
CJ nodded. She’d seen Jesse bristle, and she’d witnessed Jed’s regret that he couldn’t seem to get it right with his younger brother.
“Thanks for filling me in. I’ve been wondering, and Jesse doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“If I could lock them in a room, I feel in my heart that they could work it out, but they’re both so freaking stubborn and stupid… It drives me nuts,” Sierra said.
CJ considered the other woman, mulling over what she’d seen of the two brothers, thinking about the way Jesse had gone into hard shutdown mode yesterday when she’d dared to probe a little. Whatever had gone down between him and Jed, Jesse had taken it into his soul.
The sound of booted feet had them both looking toward the door as Jed entered. He looked tired, even though it was first thing in the morning, but he gave them both a small smile.
“Morning, ladies.”
“Morning,” CJ said, fighting the urge to squirm in her seat. There was no way Jed could know they’d been talking about him, but she felt guilty just the same.
She didn’t regret asking Sierra to fill her in, though. She needed to know what was going on with Jesse if she was going to be with him.
Sierra cleared their plates and left to have a shower and CJ was about to ask what was on the agenda for the day when the sound of a pickup pulling up outside drew Jed’s gaze to the window.
“Where’s Jesse been this early?” he asked.
“He left a note saying he was going into town. Not sure why,” CJ said.
Jed’s gaze narrowed, his focus on whatever was going on out in the yard and CJ watched as his face got tight and hard.
“What the fuck,” he said under his breath, the words only audible because the kitchen was so quiet. Then he turned on his heel and strode for the front door.
After a moment’s shock, CJ pushed to her feet and followed him, exiting to the front porch just as Jed approached Jesse by his pickup in the yard.
“What’s all this?” Jed asked, and CJ realized Jesse was unpacking more fencing wire.
That was why he’d gone into town—to collect and pay for the supplies he suspected his brother couldn’t afford. No doubt he’d been operating on the old “easier to apologize than ask permission” maxim, but by the looks of it, Jed was not thrilled about Jesse going behind his back.
“Figured we could get the fencing finished while CJ and I are here to help,” Jesse said.
He shot a look at his brother, and even from fifteen feet away CJ could see the challenge in his eyes. He was daring Jed to make an issue of it, daring him to throw the subject of the ranch’s finances on the table.
Jed eyed his brother, his jaw working. Then his gaze went to the rolls of wire, the lengths of rebar hanging out the back of the pickup’s bed.
“I’ve got a meeting in town this morning,” he finally said. “You’ll have to get started without me.”
Then he turned and walked back into the house, eyes downcast as he passed CJ. She joined Jesse at the back of the truck.
“That went well,” she said dryly.
“Better than I expected, to be honest,” Jesse said, one corner of his mouth tilted slightly. “Wait till he finds out I paid off the account.”
“Was it bad?” she asked.
“Bad enough.” He hefted another bale of wire and headed for the barn.
Leaving CJ standing blinking in the early morning sunshine, astonished at the brevity of the exchange.
That was it? That was all the information he was going to give her? A few crumbs, even though she was stuck in the middle of all this drama and he’d told her last night he wanted a future with her?
She started to go after him, then stopped in her tracks when she saw Casey was in the barn, dealing with the horses. She’d never been a fan of public scenes, and that’s what this would become if she tried to talk to Jesse about this now, in front of Casey.
She would wait till later to tackle him. After all, this was a tangle eleven years in the making. Twelve years, if she counted from when the Carmodys’ parents had died. And CJ’s gut told her that she should, that today’s unhappiness had its roots in the tragedy of the past.
Did anyone ever get over such a sudden, devastating loss? She didn’t think so, especially when it happened during a formative period in a person’s life. And Jesse had had that loss compounded by being kicked out of home a year later, consequently losing the rest of his family. Was it any wonder he had big walls keeping the world at bay when it came to this stuff?
Packing her frustration and concern away, she pulled on her yellow leather work gloves and turned to grab a bundle of rebar.
It took them ten minutes to load the trailer with the new supplies, then Jesse went inside to change into his work gear while she and Casey added all the necessary tools to the haul.
They were just saddling the horses when Sierra and Jesse joined them, and a few minutes later they were on the move, Casey once again in charge of the four-wheeler. CJ kept sneaking looks at Jesse, trying to discern something—anything—from his neutral expression.
He was good at covering his thoughts and feelings, though, and she was glad when they arrived at the section of fence where they’d stopped work yesterday so she could concentrate on something concrete. There was only so much spinning of mental wheels that one person could do.
Maybe it was the fresh air or the warmth of the sun, but after an hour or so she felt her shoulders relax, and Jesse became more playful, teasing his sister and goading Casey into a competition to see who could drive the rebar into the fence post the fastest. They’d just finished lunch and were lazing in the grass when the sound of an approaching horse came to them on the breeze.
Jed, CJ guessed, come to pitch in now that his morning appointment was dealt with. She wondered if they’d left any sandwiches for him and stood to go check the cooler, dusting off the rear of her jeans. Which was when she caught sight of Jed’s face as he approached.
She’d never truly understood the term “thunderous” before today. Jed looked as though he was on the verge of exploding, his face rigid with suppressed emotion, his eyes glinting dangerously.
Exactly like a storm about to break.
She took a step toward Jesse, instinctively wanting to protect him, but he was already standing, his gaze on his older brother. Braced for what was coming.
Maybe it was her imagination, but it felt as though the world held its breath as Jed came to a halt and dismounted. Throwing Pedro’s reins over the horse’s head, he jerked his chin toward Jesse.
“We need to talk.”
Jesse simply nodded, following Jed with measured steps when the other man walked out into the field. CJ watched, anxiety a knot in her belly, her gaze never leaving Jesse’s tall figure.
This moment felt dangerous, loaded, even though she didn’t fully
understand what was going on. All she knew was that these two men had problems they refused to confront or talk about—and right now, one of them was aching for a fight.
*
“You want to tell me why the Big Z just emailed me a receipt for payment in full of my store account?” Jed demanded the moment the two of them were far enough away not to be heard. His chin was high, his face taut.
Jesse was pretty sure he’d never seen his brother so angry.
“I saw a problem, I had the solution. I took care of it,” Jesse said, making a point of keeping his tone calm. He’d anticipated some version of this conversation once Jed got wind of what he’d done—he’d just hoped they’d be having it later rather than sooner, preferably down a phone line instead of face to face.
“You didn’t think I might have something to say about that? That I might have a fucking opinion about my brother paying my debts?” Jed asked.
“That debt belongs to all of us.”
Jed took a step forward. “I run this ranch. I decide what gets paid, and when.”
“Even if it means we can’t finish the fencing?”
“You think that’s the priority around here, Jesse? You think if I had ten thousand to spare I’d choose to sink it into an account I can pay off once we send our next stock shipment to market?”
“How would I fucking know? You treat ranch business like it’s top secret. How the hell am I supposed to know anything about this place?” Jesse asked, his temper finally getting the better of him.
“You walked away. You don’t get to stick your nose in whenever you feel like it.”
Jesse’s whole body got hot at his brother’s mischaracterization of their shared history. “Oh, yeah, I just walked away.”
“I gave you a choice, and you took the easy way out because you didn’t have the balls to stay.”
The Cowboy Meets His Match Page 22