by K Alexander
When the dark woman frowned she reminded Helena of a moping little girl. "If you marry one of those men, Helena, then you'll be locked up in your own tower as much as if you came with me now."
"I don't actually have the luxury of very many great choices, Crispin!" The sudden anger startled them both. Taking a deep breath the princess tried to calm herself, sitting up and squaring her narrow shoulders. When she looked up her green eyes met the knight's in a defenceless gaze and held them pleadingly. "Crispin. Take me with you."
"I…" the knight could not tear her eyes away from the blonde woman's stare. She blinked rapidly, her eyebrows contracting into an expression that appeared to be on the brink of anguish. In that look the princess found her answer.
"Well." With the fingers of a slightly trembling hand she pushed a lock of hair away from her forehead stiffly. "I apologise for asking. I didn't want to put you in a difficult situation."
"Oh, Helena, I don't… "
"It's all right. I can't expect of you to be saddled up with… "
"Don't." Sliding off the settee Crispin hurried to the foot of the bed and knelt at Helena's feet, grasping a small hand in both of hers. "Don't think like that, Helena." She was shocked when the green eyes that lifted were bright with tears. "Oh, please don't."
"I thought you'd started to like me there at the end but…"
It was so soft that she almost didn't hear it. Reaching up she gently brushed one teardrop from golden lashes. "Helena, I did. I do. Who wouldn't? You're very unique."
"That's just a polite way of saying that I'm odd and impossible."
"No, it's not." Pressing Helena's hand lightly Crispin tried to catch her eye. "I'm not good at polite, Helena. You know that."
"You try."
"Yes, I try. But not very hard." Smiling at the slight crinkle of the princess's nose the knight sighed. "Helena, you are odd. And impossible. And infuriating. And such a great deal of fun to be with."
Helena clenched Crispin's hands in hers tightly. "Then take me with you, Crispin? Please?"
"I … can't."
"But why not?"
"My life isn't like yours."
"I know what your life is like! I've been there, do you remember?" Helena tried to catch Crispin's gaze, but the blue eyes skittered away from hers tensely. "I've been there, and nothing bad happened to me."
"Nothing bad happened to you because I was there to catch you!" Suddenly the bright blue eyes were focused on her, and their intensity almost burned. "What if I turn my back for a moment and something horrible happens? What then, Helena? The world is a dangerous place, and you are not ready for it! I can't take responsibility for you, Helena; I simply can't, because if something bad happened to you I would never be able to forgive myself."
The forcefulness of her words left a sad silence in the air.
"I'm so sorry." It was an overwhelmed whisper.
"No." With a shake of her head Helena rubbed the tense hands under hers gently. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about what I was asking you to do." Leaning forward she tucked a loose strand of black hair behind the knight's ear. "I understand, Crispin. I do."
The dark woman looked up at her with a miserable expression. "Anywhere you want to go, Helena, I'll take you there myself. Right now."
Slowly shaking her head Helena smiled sweetly. "No, you're right, Crispin. I'm not ready for the world, and the world's not ready for me. One day, maybe. Hey," she scolded, "don't frown like that. You'll wake up looking like that one morning."
"And I'll have deserved it, too." Drawing her hands from the other woman's the knight rose and dusted off her knees assiduously. "What did that Ivor do with my sword and saddlebags, do you know?"
It was a clumsy change of direction, but Helena let it go, sensing the nervousness in Crispin's behaviour. "It will probably be in the room next door, Crispin." Are you… are you going to leave?" She said it as smoothly and casually as she could.
Shrugging her broad shoulders the knight bit her lip thoughtfully. "I suppose I'm a coward, but I'd rather leave under cover of darkness. I don't want to go through any more ceremonial feasts. It'll be … easier this way."
"But if you leave tonight my father won't have the chance to give you your reward. And you came all this way."
Crispin waved the comment away. "I don't need it." She seemed on the verge of saying something else before she consciously straightened her posture and rolled her shoulders once. "Helena, it's time for me to go."
"I know." Before the knight could say anything more the blonde dashed forward and wrapped her arms around her waist. Pressing her face into the knight's shoulder she squeezed tightly - "I'll miss you, knight." - smiling against the smooth fabric of the shirt as she felt strong arms wrap around her shoulders and hold her securely for the briefest moment. Then Crispin loosened her grip and stepped back, her eyes soft.
"I have to go."
"I know."
She had hoped, if she were honest, for one of those moments she'd always imagined when reading her favourite stories, those moments when the hero stated an intention and go, and then never could. And hurled him -or her- self back into the other person's arms declaring that they would never ever leave them. If it was one of those moments then Crispin must have misunderstood the script, because with a small smile and a little nod of her dark head she turned around.
And walked out of the door.
It seemed like the middle of the night, and there was a sound somewhere that didn't belong there. Prying open eyes which had been crying just a little the princess scowled and reached out to light her lamp, knocking something off the table accidentally. Sliding out of bed she took the lamp and rose, almost dropping it in fright when she noticed the figure sitting in her window frame.
"What the…?"
The knight sat perched on the granite ledge as if it had been made for her, a pleasant smile plastered on her face. Putting her free hand on her hip Helena tilted her head at Crispin.
"Aren't you supposed to be off in a foreign country, petrifying little foreign children?"
"Well." The knight graced her with an even white grin. "In Lodelon, to be exact, studying the enormous statue of Pnifty Duke of Trout, where he's wearing cheesecloth on his head and missing vital bits."
"And?" Bending down the princess put the lamp on the floor and placed the other hand on her hip too. "Are you lost?"
"A little." The knight shrugged. "Can you point me in the right direction?"
"It's that way." Pointing a finger in a random direction the princess raised her eyebrows at the knight. "Now are you going to sit in my window the whole night?"
The knight raised her hands in mock surrender. "I'm going, I'm going… " and then she smiled, "… but I'm not going anywhere without you."
A slow grin spread across the blonde woman's face, lighting up her features like a fire. Taking a sharp breath she gazed incredulously at the other woman, who raised a wicked eyebrow at her.
"Oh, Crispin!"
"Don't run! I'm not… "
The warning came too late. The princess attempted to stop, she really did, but the momentum carried her into the knight, who summarily toppled backwards and disappeared from view.
"…. hooooolding …. Oof."
Anxiously the princess peeked from the window. In the topiary lanterns' lights she could just make out the knight lying sprawled on the back of a giant (and probably smiling) duck.
"Crispin?"
One hand lifted slowly and plucked a small branch from black hair.
"Crispin? I'm so sorry, Crispin, I didn't mean to… "
Helena's shoulders sagged dejectedly. The figure below sat up and sighed, and then tilted her head back and gazed up.
"My hand's bleeding. Princess?"
"I'm sorry."
"I missed you."
THE END
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