[24] Ἀλλὰ καὶ τῶν πραγμάτων τὰ σπουδαιότατα εἰς γελωτοποιίαν μεταβάλλειν, ὅταν αὐτῇ δοκῇ, ὥσπερ ἐν σκηνῇ καὶ θεάτρῳ ἔργον πεποίηται.
[24] Indeed she also made it her business, whenever it seemed best to her, to change even the most serious matters to an occasion for buffoonery, as though she were on the stage in the theatre.
[25] καί ποτε ἦν τις τῶν πατρικίων γέρων τε καὶ χρόνον πολὺν ἐν ἀρχῇ γεγονὼς, οὗπερ ἐγὼ τὸ ὄνομα ἐξεπιστάμενος ὡς ἥκιστα ἐπιμνήσομαι, ὡς μὴ ἀπέραντον τὴν ἐς αὐτὸν ὕβριν ποιήσωμαι, τῶν αὐτῇ ὑπηρετούντων τινὰ ὀφείλοντά οἱ χρήματα μεγάλα εἰσπράξασθαι οὐχ οἷός τε ὢν ἐσῆλθε παῤ αὐτὴν, τόν τε συμβαλόντα αἰτιασόμενος καὶ δεηθησόμενος αὐτῷ βοηθῆσαι τὰ δίκαια.
[25] And on a certain occasion one of the patricians, an old man who had spent a long time in office — whose name I shall by no means mention, though I know it well, that I may not indefinitely prolong the disgrace which fell upon him — being unable to collect a debt from one of the Empress’ servants who owed him a large sum, appealed to her in order to lay a charge against the man who had made a contract with him and to entreat her to assist him to obtain justice.
[26] ὅπερ ἡ Θεοδώρα προμαθοῦσα τοῖς εὐνούχοις ἐπέστελλεν, ἐπειδὰν ὁ πατρίκιος πρὸς αὐτὴν ἵκοιτο, κυκλώσασθαι μὲν αὐτὸν ἅπαντας, ἐπακούειν δὲ αὐτῇ φθεγγομένῃ, ὑπειποῦσα ὅ τι αὐτοὺς ἀντιφθέγγεσθαι δεῖ.
[26] But Theodora, learning of his purpose in advance, instructed the eunuchs that when the patrician came before her, they should all stand about him in a circle and should listen attentively to her as she spoke, suggesting to them what words they should say in the manner of a “response.”
[27] ἐπεὶ δὲ ὁ πατρίκιος ἐς τὴν γυναικωνῖτιν ἦλθε, προσεκύνησε μὲν ὥσπερ αὐτὴν προσκυνεῖν εἴθιστο, δεδακρυμένῳ δὲ ἐοικὼς ‘ὦ δέσποινα’, ἔφη, ‘χαλεπὸν πατρικίῳ ἀνδρὶ χρημάτων δεῖσθαι.
[27] And when the patrician entered the women’s quarters, he did his obeisance before her in the customary manner, and with a face that seemed stained with tears, said, “Mistress, it is a grievous thing for a man of patrician rank to be in need of money.
[28] ἃ γὰρ τοῖς ἄλλοις συγγνώμην τε καὶ ἔλεον φέρει, ταῦτα ἐς ὕβριν τῷδε ξυμβαίνει τῷ ἀξιώματι ἀποκεκρίσθαι.
[28] For that which in the case of other men calls forth forgiveness and compassion is accounted outrageous in men of my rank.
[29] ἄλλῳ μὲν γὰρ ὁτῳοῦν ἀπορουμένῳ τὰ ἔσχατα πάρεστιν αὐτὸ τοῦτο εἰπόντι τοῖς χρήσταις ὄχλου τοῦ ἐνθένδε εὐθὺς ἀπηλλάχθαι, πατρίκιος δὲ ἀνὴρ οὐκ ἔχων ὅθεν ἂν ἐκτῖσαι τοῖς χρήσταις τὰ ὀφλήματα ἱκανὸς εἴη μάλιστα μὲν τοῦτο ἂν εἰπεῖν αἰσχυνθείη, εἰπὼν δὲ οὐκ ἄν ποτε πείσαι ὡς οὐχ οἷόν τε ὂν τῷδε πενίαν τῷ τάγματι ξυνοικίζεσθαι.
[29] For in the case of any other man in extreme destitution, it is possible, simply by stating this fact to his creditors, to escape straightway from the embarrassment, but if a man of patrician rank should not have the means to meet his obligations to his creditors, most likely he would be ashamed to mention it, but if he did mention it, he would never be believed, since all men would feel that it is not a possible thing for poverty to be a housemate of a man of this class.
[30] ἢν δέ γε καὶ πείσῃ, τὰ πάντων αὐτῷ αἴσχιστά τε καὶ ἀνιαρότατα πεπονθέναι ξυμβήσεται.
[30] But if he does win belief, it will fall to his lot to suffer the most shameful and distressing affliction of all.
[31] οὐκοῦν, ὦ δέσποινα, εἰσί μοι χρῆσται, οἱ μὲν δανείσαντες τὰ σφέτερα αὐτῶν, οἱ δὲ παῤ ἐμοῦ δεδανεισμένοι.
[31] Now, my Mistress, I do have financial relations with men, some of whom have loaned their substance to me, and some have borrowed from me.
[32] καὶ τοὺς μὲν δανείσαντας ἐνδελεχέστατα ἐγκειμένους οὐχ οἷός τέ εἰμι αἰδοῖ τοῦ ἀξιώματος ἀποκρούσασθαι, οἱ δέ γε ὀφείλοντες, οὐ γὰρ πατρίκιοι τυγχάνουσιν ὄντες, εἰς σκήψεις τινὰς ἀπανθρώπους χωροῦσιν.
[32] As for my creditors, who most persistently dog my steps, I am unable through the shame proper to my position to put them off, while as for those who are in debt to me, since they happen not to be patricians, they take refuge in certain inhuman excuses.
[33] ἀντιβολῶ τοίνυν καὶ ἱκετεύω καὶ δέομαι βοηθῆσαί τέ μοι τὰ δίκαια
[33] Therefore I entreat and supplicate and beg you to assist me in obtaining my rights and in escaping from my present ills.” So he spoke.
[34] καὶ τῶν παρόντων ἀπαλλάξαι κακῶν.’ ὁ μὲν ταῦτα εἶπεν. ἡ δὲ γυνὴ ἀπεκρίνατο ἐμμελῶς, ‘πατρίκιε ὁ δεῖνα’, καὶ ὁ τῶν εὐνούχων χορὸς ὑπολαβὼν ἀντεφθέγξατο,
[34] And the woman replied, in sing-song, “O Patrician So-and-So” (naming him), and the chorus of eunuchs, catching up the strain, said responsively, “It’s a large hernia you have!”
[35] ‘μεγάλην κήλην ἔχεις’. αὖθις δὲ τοῦ ἀνθρώπου ἱκετεύσαντός τε καὶ ῥῆσίν τινα ἐμφερῆ τοῖς ἔμπροσθεν εἰρημένοις εἰπόντος κατὰ ταὐτὰ πάλιν ἥ τε γυνὴ ἀπεκρίνατο καὶ ὁ χορὸς ἀντεφθέγξατο, ἕως ἂν ἀπειπὼν ὁ ταλαίπωρος προσεκύνησέ τε ᾗπερ εἰώθει καὶ ἀπιὼν οἴκαδε ᾤχετο.
[35] And when the man again made supplication and uttered words resembling what he had said before, the woman replied again in the same strain and the chorus chanted the response, until the poor wretch in despair made his obeisance in the customary manner and departing thence went home.
[36] ἐν προαστείοις δὲ τοῖς ἐπιθαλαττίοις τὸ πλεῖστον τοῦ ἔτους καὶ οὐχ ἥκιστα ἐν τῷ ἐπικαλουμένῳ Ἡρίῳ διατριβὴν εἶχε, καὶ ἀπ̓ αὐτοῦ τῶν ἑπομένων ὁ πολὺς ὅμιλος κακοπαθείᾳ πολλῇ εἴχετο.
[36] And she lived the greatest part of the year in the suburbs on the seashore, and particularly in the place called Herion, and consequently the large retinue of attendants were grievously afflicted.
[37] τῶν τε ἀναγκαίων γὰρ ἐσπάνιζον καὶ θαλαττίοις ὡμίλουν κινδύνοις, ἄλλως τε καὶ χειμῶνος, ἂν οὕτω τύχῃ, ἐπιπεσόντος, ἢ τοῦ κήτους ἐνταῦθά ποι ἐπισκήψαντος.
[37] For they had a scant supply of provisions and they were exposed to the dangers of the sea, particularly when a storm came down, as often happened, or when the whale made a descent somewhere in the neighbourhood.
[38] ἀλλ̓ αὐτοὶ τὰ πάντων ἀνθρώπων κακὰ οὐδὲν πρᾶγμα ᾤ�
�ντο εἶναι, ὅσον ἤν γε μόνον αὐτοῖς τρυφᾶν ἐξείη.
[38] However, they considered the ills of all mankind to be nothing at all, provided only that they should be able themselves to live in luxury.
[39] ὁποῖος δὲ ὁ Θεοδώρας πρὸς τοὺς προσκεκρουκότας ἐφαίνετο τρόπος, αὐτίκα δηλώσω, ὀλίγων δηλονότι ἐπιμνησθεὶς, ὡς μὴ ἀτελεύτητα πονεῖν δόξαιμι.
[39] And I shall straightway make clear of what sort was the character of Theodora as revealed in her treatment of those who had given offence, mentioning only a few details so that I may not seem to labour at an endless task.
XVI
Ἡνίκα Ἀμαλασοῦνθα τῆς Γότθοις ἀπαλλαξείουσα διατριβῆς μεταμπίσχεσθαί τε τὸν βίον ἔγνω, καὶ τὴν ἐπὶ τὸ Βυζάντιον διενοεῖτο πορεύεσθαι, ὥσπερ μοι ἐν τοῖς ἔμπροσθεν λόγοις ἐρρήθη, λογισαμένη ἡ Θεοδώρα ὡς εὐπατρίδης τε ἡ γυνὴ καὶ βασιλὶς εἴη, καὶ ἰδεῖν μὲν εὐπρεπὴς ἄγαν, ἐπινοεῖν δὲ ὅ τι ἂν βούλοιτο γοργὸς μάλιστα, ὕποπτον δὲ αὐτῆς ποιησαμένη τό τε μεγαλοπρεπὲς καὶ διαφερόντως ἀρρενωπὸν, ἅμα δὲ καὶ τὸ τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἐλαφρὸν δείσασα, οὐκ ἐπὶ μικροῖς τὴν ζηλοτυπίαν ἐξήνεγκεν, ἀλλ̓ ἐνεδρεύειν τὴν γυναῖκα μέχρις ἐς θάνατον ἐν βουλῇ ἔσχεν.
At the time when Amalasuntha, desiring to leave the company of the Goths, decided to transform her life and to take the road to Byzantium, as has been stated in the previous narrative, Theodora, considering that the woman was of noble birth and a queen, and very comely to look upon and exceedingly quick at contriving ways and means for whatever she wanted, but feeling suspicious of her magnificent bearing and exceptionally virile manner, and at the same time fearing the fickleness of her husband Justinian, expressed her jealousy in no trivial way, but she schemed to lie in wait for the woman even unto her death.
[2] αὐτίκα τοίνυν ἀναπείθει τὸν ἄνδρα, Πέτρον μόνον αὐτὸν ἅτε πρεσβεύσοντα ἐς Ἰταλίαν πέμψαι.
[2] Straightway, then, she persuaded her husband to send Peter, unaccompanied by others, to be his ambassador to Italy.
[3] ᾧ δὴ στελλομένῳ βασιλεὺς μὲν ἐπέστελλεν ἅπερ μοι ἐν τοῖς ἐγκαίροις δεδιήγηται λόγοις, ἵνα δή μοι τῶν πεπραγμένων ἐκπύστους ποιεῖσθαι τὰς ἀληθείας δέει τῆς βασιλίδος ἀδύνατα ἦν.
[3] And as he was setting out, the Emperor gave him such instructions as have been set forth in the appropriate passage, where, however, it was impossible for me, through fear of the Empress, to reveal the truth of what took place.
[4] αὐτὴ δὲ τοῦτο ἐπήγγελλε μόνον, ὅτι τάχιστα τὴν γυναῖκα ἐξ ἀνθρώπων ἀφανιεῖν, ἐπ̓ ἐλπίδος ὀχεῖσθαι μεγάλων ἀγαθῶν, ἢν τὰ ἐπηγγελμένα ποιοίη,
[4] She herself, however, gave him one command only, namely, to put the woman out of the world as quickly as possible, causing the man to be carried away by the hope of great rewards if he should execute her commands.
[5] καταστησαμένη τὸν ἄνθρωπον. καὶ ὃς ἐν Ἰταλίᾳ γενόμενος ῾οὐ γὰρ οἶδεν ἀνθρώπου φύσις ὀκνηρῶς ἐς ἄδικον φόνον ἰέναι, ἀρχῆς τινος ἴσως ἢ χρημάτων ἐν ἐλπίδι κειμένων μεγάλων̓ οὐκ οἶδα ἥντινα Θευδάτῳ παραίνεσιν ποιησάμενος διαχρήσασθαι τὴν Ἀμαλασοῦνθαν ἀνέπεισε. καὶ ἀπ̓ αὐτοῦ ἔς τε τὸ τοῦ μαγίστρου ἀξίωμα ἦλθε καὶ ἐπὶ πλεῖστον δυνάμεώς τε καὶ μάλιστα πάντων ἔχθους.
[5] So as soon as he arrived in Italy — and indeed man’s nature knows not how to proceed in a hesitant, shrinking way to a foul murder when some office, perhaps, or a large sum of money is to be hoped for — he persuaded Theodatus, by what kind of exhortation I do not know, to destroy Amalasuntha. And as a reward for this he attained the rank of Magister, and acquired great power and a hatred surpassed by none.
[6] Τὰ μὲν οὖν κατὰ τὴν Ἀμαλασοῦνθαν ἐς τοῦτο ἐτελεύτα.
[6] Such, then, was the end of Amalasuntha.
[7] ἦν δέ τις Ἰουστινιανῷ ἐπιστολογράφος, Πρίσκος ὀνόματι, ἄγαν πονηρὸς μὲν καὶ Παφλαγὼν καὶ πρέπων τῷ προστάτῃ τὸν τρόπον ἀρέσκειν, λίαν δὲ πρὸς αὐτὸν εὐνοϊκῶς ἔχων καὶ πρὸς αὐτοῦ τυγχάνειν τῶν ὁμοίων οἰόμενος: διὸ δὴ καὶ χρημάτων μεγάλων ὧν κύριος ὑπῆρχεν οὐκ ἐν δίκῃ τάχιστα γέγονε.
[7] But Justinian had a certain secretary, Priscus by name, a thorough villain and a blusterer, and very well qualified by character to satisfy his master, but very well disposed towards Justinian and believing that he enjoyed a similar goodwill on his part. Consequently, by unjust means, he very quickly became possessed of a large fortune.
[8] τοῦτον δὴ ἅτε ὀφρυάζοντά τε καί οἱ ἀντιτείνειν πειρώμενον ἡ Θεοδώρα ἐς τὸν ἄνδρα διέβαλε.
[8] But Theodora slandered the man to her husband, alleging that he bore himself with supercilious pride and was always trying to oppose her.
[9] καὶ τὰ μὲν πρῶτα οὐδὲν ἤνυσεν, οὐ πολλῷ δὲ ὕστερον αὐτὴ μὲν τὸν ἄνθρωπον χειμῶνος μέσου εἰς ναῦν ἐμβιβάσασα ὅπῃ ἐβούλετο ἔπεμψε καὶ ἀποθρίξασα ἱερέα οὔτι ἑκούσιον ἠνάγκασεν εἶναι.
[9] And though at first she met with no success, she not much later, in the middle of the winter, put the man aboard ship and sent him away to a destination which the Empress had selected, and she caused his head to be shaved and compelled him quite against his will to be a priest.
[10] αὐτὸς δὲ δόκησιν παρεχόμενος ὅτι δὴ τῶν ποιουμένων οὐδὲν εἰδείη Πρίσκον μὲν οὐ διηρευνᾶτο ὅπῃ γῆς εἴη οὐδὲ ἐν μνήμῃ τὸ λοιπὸν εἶχεν, ἀλλὰ σιωπῇ ὥσπερ ληθάργῳ ἁλοὺς καθῆστο, τὰ μέντοι χρήματα ὀλίγων οἱ ἀπολελειμμένων
[10] Justinian himself meanwhile gave the impression that he knew nothing of what was going on, and he made no investigation as to where in the world Priscus was nor did the man enter his thoughts thereafter, but he sat in silence as if overcome by lethargy, not forgetting, however, to plunder all the small remainder of the man’s fortune.
[11] ἐληίσατο πάντα. ὑποψίας δὲ συμπεσούσης αὐτῇ ἐρωτολήπτῳ εἶναι εἰς τῶν οἰκετῶν ἕνα, Ἀρεόβινδον ὄνομα, βάρβαρον μὲν γένος, εὐπρεπῆ δὲ καὶ νεανίαν, ὅνπερ ταμίαν αὐτὴ καταστησαμένη ἐτύγχανεν, ἀπολύσασθαι βουλομένη τὸ ἔγκλημα, καίπερ, ὥς φασι, τοῦ ἀνθρώπου δαιμονίως ἐρῶσα, ἐν μὲν τῷ παρόντι πικρότατα αὐτὸν ἀπ̓ οὐδεμιᾶς αἰτίας αἰκίζεσθαι ἔγνω, τὸ δὲ λοιπὸν οὐδέν τι ἀμφ̓ αὐτῷ ἔγνωμεν, οὐδέ τις αὐτὸν ἄχρι νῦν εἶδ
εν.
[11] And at one time a suspicion arose that Theodora was smitten with love of one of the domestics, Areobindus by name, a man of barbarian lineage but withal handsome and young, whom she herself had, as it chanced, appointed to be steward; so she, wishing to combat the charge, though they say that she did love the man desperately, decided for the moment to maltreat him most cruelly for no real cause, and after we knew nothing at all about the man, nor has anyone seen him to this day.
[12] ἢν γάρ τι τῶν πρασσομένων ἀποκρύπτεσθαι αὐτῇ βουλομένῃ εἴη, τοῦτο δὴ ἄρρητόν τε καὶ ἀμνημόνευτον ἅπασιν ἔμεινε, καὶ οὔτε τῷ ἐπισταμένῳ ἀγγεῖλαι τῶν τινι ἀναγκαίων ἔτι ἐξῆν οὔτε τῷ μανθάνειν βουλομένῳ πυνθάνεσθαι, κἂν πάνυ τις περίεργος ἦν.
[12] For if it was her wish to conceal anything that was being done, that thing remained unspoken of and unmentioned by all, and it was thenceforth not permitted either for any man who had knowledge of the matter to report the fact to any of his kinsmen or for anyone who wished to learn the truth about him to make enquiry, even though he were very curious.
[13] τοιοῦτο γὰρ δέος ἐξ οὗ γεγόνασιν ἄνθρωποι ἐκ τυράννων οὐδενὸς γέγονεν, ἐπεὶ οὐδὲ λαθεῖν τινα τῶν προσκεκρουκότων οἷόν τε ἦν.
[13] For since there have been human beings there has never been such fear of any tyrant, for there was not even a possibility of concealment for one who had given offence.
[14] πλῆθος γὰρ κατασκόπων αὐτῇ τὰ λεγόμενα καὶ πρασσόμενα ἔν τε τῇ ἀγορᾷ καὶ ταῖς οἰκίαις ἐσήγγελλον.
Delphi Complete Works of Procopius Page 560