For a few minutes they rode in silence. Chase stared out the window, fighting the wealth of need that pressed inside him. The need to hold her in his arms once again, the need to taste her mouth one more time.
“You don’t have to do this you know,” she finally said.
“Do what?” He looked at her curiously.
“You don’t have to go everywhere with me. You don’t have to be with me every minute that I’m away from the house. I know how to take care of myself. I’m a professional bodyguard.”
He looked at her, taking in the soft curve of her jaw, the long lashes that framed her impossibly green eyes. “It’s my professional opinion that the bodyguard needs a bodyguard.”
She flashed those gorgeous eyes his direction once again. “I think maybe we’re both overreacting to the notes. I mean, yes, it’s creepy that somebody wrote notes to my mother and apparently is now writing them to me. But that doesn’t mean it was the person who killed her.”
“I’m aware of that,” he replied. “But I’m also aware that we can’t know right now that the note writer wasn’t responsible for your mother’s death. I’d feel better if we could learn the identity of the person who wrote those notes. It’s possible he’s nothing more than a harmless eccentric who had a crush on your mother years ago and now has a crush on you.”
“That would mean he’s probably old,” she replied. She flashed him a smile that didn’t quite lift the shadows from her eyes. “If he’s old, then I could probably take him in a brawl.”
“There’s no guarantee he’s that old,” Chase replied. “Maybe he was just a teenager when he got a crush on your mother. That would mean he might be as young as forty.”
“Buck Harmon’s age,” she replied thoughtfully.
“Or a dozen other men in town.”
She pulled her car up in front of the house and turned off the engine. “For the last month or so I’ve had the feeling of somebody watching me.” She turned in the seat to look at him. “You know that prickly sensation you get on the back of your neck when you feel like you’re being watched.”
“But you haven’t seen anyone suspicious? Don’t have a clue who might be watching you?”
She shook her head. “Believe me, if I did I’d confront them.” She paused a moment, her expression thoughtful. “So, if this lead about Raymond Buchannan pans out, then you’ll probably be leaving soon.”
“We’ll see how things play out,” he replied. He got out of the car then, needing distance, fighting the ever-present desire for something he couldn’t quite define, something that scared the hell out of him.
He managed to keep his distance from her for the remainder of the day. He made the phone call to Agent Wallace, then spent the afternoon chatting with Red about ranch life, his children and the family business.
Even while he talked to Red, he was always conscious of where Meredith was in the house. It was as if he had a built-in radar where she was concerned. She spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen with Smokey and Kathy, then went to her room.
He didn’t see her again until dinner. Tanner and Anna arrived to share the meal, Anna glowing with happiness as she stroked the bulge of her pregnant stomach.
As they ate, Smokey and Kathy argued about the right way to make brisket, Tanner and Anna talked about their plans for their growing family and Chase found himself unable to take his attention off Meredith.
Instead of her usual jeans and flannel shirt, she’d changed for dinner into a pair of slim black slacks and a deep-burgundy blouse that did amazing things to her creamy complexion. She made it damn hard for him to concentrate on the meal.
It was after supper and after Tanner and Anna had left when Meredith said she was headed out to the barn to check on the horses.
Chase grabbed his jacket and fell into step with her. “I doubt I need bodyguard protection in my own stables,” she said as they walked toward the wooden structure in the distance. “Besides, I have my gun.” She moved the side of her jacket to show the weapon stuffed into her waistband.
“Armed women always turn me on,” he said teasingly.
“I think probably breathing women turn you on,” she retorted with a laugh.
“That’s not true,” he protested. “You make me sound like a helpless womanizer and I’m not.”
“I know you aren’t. I was just teasing.” She fell silent as they reached the stables.
He sat on a bale of hay and watched as she went from stall to stall. She seemed softer here, oddly vulnerable as she greeted the horses with a whispered voice and a stroke on the head. He could almost see the tension rolling off her shoulders, disappearing from her facial features.
It was as if the world shrank to nothing bigger than the interior of the stable with the scent of hay and horse and leather, and he knew by her posture and her facial expression that this had always been a safe place for her.
When she was finished telling each of the animals good-night, she joined him on the bale of hay, as if reluctant to go directly back to the house.
Instantly he was aware of her scent, that arousing smell of jasmine. “You like it out here, don’t you.”
She smiled. “This was always my place. You can’t imagine how difficult it was to grow up with five brothers who loved nothing better in the world than to torment and tease me. This was always where I’d run if I needed to cry or I needed to cuss.”
He laughed and tried to imagine her as a child. “But surely you had girlfriends who you could talk to, bond with.”
Her smile turned rueful. “That’s the other problem with having five gorgeous brothers. Most of the girls who wanted to be my best friend really just wanted to hang out here and be around my brothers.”
“It sounds lonely.”
She frowned thoughtfully, then turned to look at him. “I know you’ve said you have no intention of getting married or anything like that, but don’t you ever get lonely, Chase?”
He wanted to answer her with a resounding no, but the very question itself illuminated the loneliness he’d struggled with for a very long time. And it irritated him, that somehow in the past two weeks at the West ranch, she’d made him feel that loneliness again.
“Never,” he replied curtly. He stood. “We should probably get back to the house. It’s getting dark.”
He didn’t look at her, was afraid that if he did she might see the lie in his eyes, might know the depth of loneliness that had always been with him.
Chapter 10
That night Meredith lay in bed fighting against a restlessness she’d never known before, and she suspected the restlessness had a name and its name was Chase.
It had been days since he’d touched her, since he’d kissed her, and there was a burn of want in the pit of her stomach. There was no denying the tension that existed between them every moment that they were together. But he’d made no move to act on it.
And that’s good, she told herself as she rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling where the moonlight danced with faint silver hues. It was good because she was falling in love with Chase McCall.
She hadn’t planned it; she didn’t even want it, but there it was. He’d gotten to her with his sharp blue eyes and edge of arrogant confidence. He’d touched her with his easy laughter and sexy flirting. But more than anything, he’d crawled directly into her heart when she’d seen a flash of his wounded soul.
She wasn’t a rescuer, knew that there was no way to take away the pain of his past. But, God help her, she wished she could be part of his future.
It wouldn’t be long before he and Kathy would pack their bags and leave Cotter Creek behind. Meredith had a feeling Smokey would miss Kathy desperately. She’d never seen him so animated, so ready with a smile as he was when Kathy was around.
There would be hearts needing healing when they left. And they would heal…eventually. She squeezed her eyes closed, willing away thoughts of Chase.
Instead she focused on the question of who migh
t be her secret admirer. He could be as young as forty or as old as her father. That certainly didn’t lessen the list of potential suspects, rather it pointed a finger to almost any man in Cotter Creek.
The notes held the quality of obsession rather than love. If she were to guess, the person had been obsessed with her mother, and because Meredith was the spitting image of her mother, she’d now garnered the attention of the same person.
So what did he want from her? Why hadn’t he made himself known yet? Was it possible that he’d identified himself to her mother, and Elizabeth had rebuffed him? Had that been the end of it, or was he the man who had flagged Elizabeth down on the side of the road and strangled the life out of her?
Meredith wasn’t even sure if her fear was warranted. But warranted or not, she couldn’t help the cold chill that gripped her heart each time she thought of those notes. She couldn’t help the instincts that screamed that something bad was going to happen.
A soft knock fell on her door. She reached out to turn on the nightstand lamp, then slid out of bed and to her bedroom door. She opened it an inch to see Chase.
“I lied,” he said softly. “I do get lonely. I’m lonely right now.”
She knew she had two choices. She could either open the door all the way and let him in or she could tell him to go back to bed and shut the door.
If she let him in, there was no question that they would make love again. There was no question that her feelings for him would only intensify. But if she sent him back to his room she had a feeling she would regret it for the rest of her life.
She opened the door wider and once he was in her room she closed it behind him. He stood for a long moment, his gaze searching hers as if seeking the answer to a question he hadn’t voiced.
Taking his hand, she led him to her bed. He laid the condom he’d brought with him on the nightstand, then took off his boxers and slid beneath her sheets.
He was going to break her heart, this man with passion in his eyes. He was going to break her heart and there was nothing she could do about it.
With a sense of both resignation and sweet anticipation, she pulled off her nightgown and joined him in the bed. He reached for her and she went willingly into his arms even knowing that there was a piece of her heart she would never be able to claim back from him.
His kiss was achingly tender, his lips soft against hers. It was impossible for her to think when she was in his arms, impossible to do anything but feel.
He seemed to be in no hurry but rather moved with a languid sensuality, as if he recognized they had all the hours of the long night ahead of them.
As he caressed her breasts first with his hands, then with his mouth, unexpected tears pressed hot at her eyes. This would be the last time she’d feel his touch, taste his mouth. As much as she cared about him, she wouldn’t, couldn’t do this again.
This knowledge made each kiss, every touch more intense and tinged with a bittersweet element. They didn’t say a word, but no words were necessary as the kisses grew deeper and the caresses hotter and more intimate.
He knew just where to touch and kiss her to evoke the most intense response…her inner thigh, the skin just behind her ear, the back of her knees.
And she responded in kind, finding the places on his body that produced a deep moan and tightened all his muscles and made him hoarsely whisper her name.
When they were both gasping and aching with need, it was she who put the condom on him, she who urged him to move over her and take her.
She wanted to be lost in him, and as he stroked deeply into her she was lost. She gave him everything—her passion, her tenderness and her heart. And at least while they made love she felt as if she had his in return.
Afterward she expected him to get up and creep back to his own room, but he didn’t. He went to the bathroom, then returned and got back beneath her sheets.
The lamp that she had turned on when she’d heard the knock on her door had remained on during their lovemaking. He now reached over her to turn it off, then gathered her into his arms.
His heartbeat was strong and steady against hers and she nuzzled her head into his shoulder, wishing for things that would never be, wanting something different than she knew the future contained.
But she couldn’t change anything that might come. All she could do was grasp with both hands the moment happening right now.
“I spent a lot of years being lonely,” he said softly as one of his hands stroked the length of her hair. “I sometimes think I invented lonely.”
His words pierced through her, and once again she wished she could go back in time and fix the pain and isolation he’d felt as a child. As the only girl in the West family, she’d certainly at times felt isolated and alone, but she’d always known that she had a houseful of people who loved her, people who would never really hurt her.
“Was there nobody you could talk to? Nobody to tell about your dad’s abusiveness?”
He sighed. “Looking back now there were probably people I could have told. Maybe a teacher or a neighbor. But at the time it never occurred to me. And even if it had, I think I would have been too afraid to tell. Besides, as crazy as it sounds, there was a part of me that was fiercely protective of my dad.”
She knew he’d gifted her with a piece of himself that he’d probably never shared before and she was honored by that.
“Anyway,” he continued. “I learned to live with the loneliness. It’s been a part of my life for so long I’m not sure I’d feel right without it.”
She tightened her arms around him, wanting to memorize the feel of his body next to hers, the scent of his skin that filled her head. She closed her eyes as she matched her breathing to his.
For the first time in her life she felt as if she belonged where she was, in Chase McCall’s arms. And all too quickly he’d be out of her life.
He leaned against the side of the house, fighting the rage that swept through him. His tight chest made it hard to breathe, and he fisted his hands into balls at his side.
He’d come here hoping to get a glimpse of Meredith, just a quick peek of her to feed him, to sustain him until he could make her his forever. Her shades had been drawn but one of them wasn’t completely down and gave him a tiny peephole into her room.
He’d looked in and had been shocked as he saw Meredith and Chase McCall moving intimately together beneath the sheets on the bed.
He now squeezed his eyes tightly closed as if he could banish the image.
It was his fault…Chase McCall. He’d seduced her, just like Red West had seduced the sweet Elizabeth so many years ago.
He’d pay. Chase McCall would pay. There was no way anyone was getting in the way this time, especially not some big-city boy with his sweet-talk and charm.
He stole away from the house the way he had come, melting into the shadows of the night.
Chase awoke with the dawn, for a moment disoriented as he gazed at his surroundings. Then he remembered he was in Meredith’s room. He turned his head to see her curled up on her side facing him, her features relaxed with sleep.
He watched her for a long moment, taking in the strong features that worked together to create beauty. He’d told her more than he’d ever told anyone about himself and his past. Something about her had encouraged trust and confidence.
It was time to leave, time to escape before she got any further into his heart. She drew him toward her with the promise of no more loneliness, with the promise of happiness. But he was scared of that, afraid that eventually that happiness would shatter and he would show himself to be nothing more than his father’s son.
He crept out of bed, careful not to wake her, and stole out of the room. As he stepped into the hallway he was shocked to see Kathy, clad only in a long nightgown, sneaking down the hall toward her bedroom. For a moment they stood and stared at each other, then she quickly disappeared into her room.
So, it’s like that, Chase thought as he got dressed a few minutes later.
He had no doubt that his partner had spent the night in Smokey’s room. It would appear that neither of them had been able to withstand the charm of certain members of the West family.
They were all at breakfast when Clay came in and joined them for coffee. “Where’s Libby and Gracie?” Meredith asked her brother.
“They had an appointment over at the Curl Palace for hair cut and styles and manicures and pedicures. I figured I’d come and hang out here with dad while my two girls are doing their girl thing.”
“I’m glad,” Red said with a smile at his son. “I always like it when you boys come to visit.”
“What’s everyone’s plans for the day?” Clay asked and looked around the table.
“Smokey and I are going into town to buy some groceries,” Kathy said while Chase looked at Meredith expectantly. Whatever she had planned he wouldn’t be far away. He’d told her the truth when he’d said that the bodyguard needed a bodyguard.
“I thought I might do a little riding after breakfast,” she said.
“Riding?” Chase frowned. “I hope you’re talking about riding in your car.”
A faint whisper of a smile curved her lips. “No, I’m talking about getting on my horse. I haven’t taken Spooky out for over a week. She needs a good ride. Besides, I figured it was time you got on the back of a good horse.”
“Do you ride, Chase?” Clay asked.
“Never in my life,” he replied.
“There’s almost nothing better than being on the back of a horse on a fall morning,” Red said. “Meredith’s a fine horsewoman. She’ll get you set up and you’ll never forget the experience.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he said dryly.
As they finished breakfast, Clay told them about a new advertising campaign his stepdaughter, Gracie, had been offered. “It’s a new line of kids’ clothes. They’re using her for the print ads and then in November we’re flying to New York to do a television commercial.”
Chase knew that Clay had gone to California to work as a bodyguard for eight-year-old Gracie who was a successful child star. In the process of caring for the child, he’d fallen in love with Gracie’s mother, Libby.
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