His eyebrows tugged together in a frown. “It’s complicated.”
“Yeah, right.” She turned back around as tears fell onto her cheeks.
“Meredith.” He grabbed her arm and forcefully turned her to face him once again. “Don’t you get it? It’s not about you. It’s about me. Any man would be damned lucky to have you in their life. But I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t put any women at risk.” He reached up and rubbed his thumb against her cheek. “Especially not you.”
“At risk? What are you talking about?” She searched his features.
He dropped his hand and stepped back from her. “You know my history. You know what kind of man my father was. His blood runs inside my veins. He was my role model for too many years.”
She stared at him in surprise. “And you’re afraid you’ll be like him?” He didn’t reply, but his jaw tightened and his eyes grew darker. “When was the last time you hit somebody? When was the last time you were abusive?”
“That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I love you too much to take a chance.” There was implacability in his voice.
Joy battled with despair at his words. He loved her. He loved her and he wasn’t going to do anything about it. Tears once again misted her vision as despair won out. And on the heels of that despair was a hint of anger.
“You love me so much that you aren’t going to reach out for happiness? You’re going to turn your back on me and my love?” The anger inside her grew. “Then your father wins. He’s managed to totally destroy your life.”
“It’s important to me that I don’t destroy yours,” he replied.
She needed to get away from him. The tears that she’d tried so desperately to contain needed to be released and she refused to allow them more freedom in front of him. “You lied to me, Chase. You told me that the scars your father left behind didn’t even hurt anymore. But that was a lie. They must hurt like hell for you to choose to live your life alone.”
She didn’t wait for his reply, but instead turned and ran inside the house, needing the privacy of her room to cry, wanting the seclusion of her space to grieve for what might have been.
Sleep didn’t come easily to Chase that night, and he got out of bed late the next morning with the self-loathing of a man who’d kicked a puppy in a temper fit and now regretted his actions.
But it wasn’t regret that weighed heavy in his heart. He told himself that turning his back on Meredith was the right thing to do. She would eventually find another man who would love the woman she was and she would build a life with him that would banish him from her memory.
That’s what he wanted for her. Happiness and love. He just knew she couldn’t have that with him. Today would be his last day here. He was well enough to travel, and it was time to get out of Dodge.
Before he left he’d make sure Meredith told her family about the notes she’d been receiving and he’d get a personal assurance from each of her brothers that they would watch over her, make sure she remained safe.
He was still stunned over the fact that Kathy intended to return to Kansas City, retire, then come back out here to be with Smokey. He hadn’t tried to talk her out of it when she’d told him. He’d seen the light of happiness in her eyes and knew that for the first time in her life she was following her heart.
By the time he washed and dressed, it was after ten-thirty. Breakfast had passed, but he found Smokey and Kathy sitting at the kitchen table lingering over coffee.
“There’s our lazy man,” Kathy said as he walked into the kitchen.
“I can’t believe I slept so late,” Chase replied. He walked over to the cabinet, withdrew a cup and poured himself coffee.
“Want me to rustle you up some eggs?” Smokey asked.
“No, thanks, this will be just fine.” Chase joined them at the table and took a sip of the hot strong brew.
“We were just sitting here talking about Raymond Buchannan and George Sharp,” Kathy said. “I spoke with Agent Tompkins this morning and he said both men confessed to everything.”
“I never trusted Mayor Sharp, but I would never have suspected that Raymond Buchannan would have been involved in anything like this,” Smokey said.
“Love or money, those are the motives for most crimes,” Kathy said.
“In this case love of money,” Smokey replied.
“Where’s Meredith?” Chase asked.
“She left about twenty minutes ago to go into town,” Kathy replied.
“By herself?” Chase frowned.
Smokey released a gruff laugh. “Last time I looked she was a grown woman.”
“I think she was meeting Savannah.” Kathy paused and took a sip of her coffee. “She probably wants to hear all the gossip about what’s happened over the past twenty-four hours.”
Although there was no reason for it, Chase had a bad feeling. “I think I’ll give her a quick call,” he said, and excused himself from the table.
He went back to his bedroom and grabbed his cell phone, then punched in the number for hers. She answered on the second ring.
“I don’t like you wandering around all on your own,” he said without preamble.
“I’ll be fine.” Her voice held a distance that ripped through him.
“I still don’t like it.”
Her sigh was audible. “I’m not a fool, Chase. I don’t intend to stop for anyone or anything along the side of a deserted road. I’ll be around people. Believe me, I’ll be fine. I’m meeting Savannah for lunch, then I’m coming back home. I should be back around two or two-thirty, long before dark.”
“When you get home we need to have a talk with your family. You need to tell them about the notes before I leave here in the morning.”
“No problem,” she replied, then before he could say anything else she disconnected.
He closed his phone and tossed it on the bed, the feeling of disquiet growing inside him. He had a feeling he wouldn’t feel good until Meredith was back at the ranch safe and sound.
Chapter 13
Meredith tossed the cell phone to the car seat next to her. She’d awakened that morning with a fierce restlessness that urged her to get out and away from the ranch, out and away from Chase.
After their conversation the night before, she’d spent the remainder of the evening in her bedroom. There was nothing more to say to him, and just the thought of looking at him had caused a stab of pain to bolt through her.
Before meeting Savannah for lunch, she intended to go to the Wild West Protective Services office and beg Dalton to find her a job, something that would take her far away from Cotter Creek, something that would take her mind off Chase McCall.
She’d told Chase the truth. She intended to be careful, to make sure she was surrounded by people throughout the day. “It’s time.” She clenched her fingers more tightly around the steering wheel as she thought of the note Savannah had delivered to her the night before.
“It’s time.” What did it mean? There was no question that the two words portended something happening. But what? Maybe after lunch she’d stop into Sheriff Ramsey’s office and find out if the reports had come back from the lab on the other notes.
She told herself that surely nothing bad could happen to her on such a gorgeous autumn day. As she drove toward town she noticed how the sun dappled light through the vivid red and yellow leaves on the trees. It wouldn’t be long before the leaves would fall to the ground and winter would move in with its icy grasp.
Rolling down her window she allowed the sweet scents of fall to fill the car, hoping to banish the smell of Chase that seemed to linger in her head.
He’d be gone tomorrow. Kathy had told her that morning that they planned to catch the bus back to Kansas City the next day.
She told herself she couldn’t wait for him to be gone, that she was sick of his presence and tired of looking at him. But her heart knew the truth. Telling him goodbye would be the single most difficult thing she’d ever done in her life.
Pulling into a parking space in front of the Wild West Protective Services office, she consciously willed away thoughts of Chase McCall. She had to stop thinking about him. She had to stop mourning for what might have been, for what would never be.
Dalton was behind the front desk, tossing balled-up paper into the waste-can basketball-style. “You look productive,” she said dryly.
“Two points,” he exclaimed as the paper hit the rim, then fell into the can. “Boredom is a terrible thing. What are you doing here?”
She sat in the chair opposite the desk. “Boredom is a terrible thing,” she echoed. “I need to work. Please find me a job.”
“I didn’t realize you were wanting to go out. Something came in last night but I sent Joshua this morning.”
“Where?”
“Oklahoma City. It’s just for a day or two. Senator Abraham’s son is attending a concert, and the senator wanted us to send somebody to go with him and make sure he stays out of trouble.”
“Doesn’t he already have bodyguards?” Meredith asked curiously.
“Yeah, but the senator wanted an outsider to keep an eye on things. Anyway, that’s all I had, and now it’s gone.” He smiled sympathetically. “Maybe something else will come up in the next day or two.”
“I hope so. If it does, I’ll take it.” She tried to keep the desperation out of her voice. “I never asked you, how did your date go with Melinda?”
Dalton sighed. “That woman could talk the ears off a mule and, to be perfectly honest, I found her boring. It took me months to get up my nerve to ask her out, then the date was excruciating. Thankfully she felt the same way. We agreed to be friends.” He grinned at her. “It’s just you and me, kid. We’re the last of the Wests to find love.”
She’d found it. Oh, how she’d found it, but it apparently wasn’t meant to be. “As far as I’m concerned, love is vastly overrated,” she replied.
“Spoken like a true cynic,” he replied with a laugh. “So, what are your plans for today?”
“Lunch with Savannah.”
Dalton winced. “Don’t mention my name to her. She wasn’t thrilled that I talked Joshua into taking the job.”
“Ah, she’ll be all right. She knows how important this kind of work is to Joshua.” She stood and looked at her watch. “And speaking of Savannah, I’d better get out of here. I’m supposed to meet her at the café in ten minutes.”
“See you later, sis.” Dalton balled up another piece of paper, apparently intent on returning to his one-man trash can hoops.
Even though Savannah was rarely on time, Meredith headed for the café. She waved to Sam, who sat in his usual spot on the bench outside the barbershop, then went into the café where a lunch crowd had begun to arrive.
She found an empty booth, slid in and told the waitress she was waiting for a friend. As she waited for Savannah she caught snippets of conversations going on at other tables. The topic of the day was definitely the arrest of Mayor Sharp and Raymond Buchannan.
She’d always hoped somewhere in the back of her mind that it would be discovered that the person or persons responsible for so many deaths would turn out to have no ties to Cotter Creek.
It was hard to digest that the men responsible had been born and raised right here and had betrayed the entire town with their evil intentions. She was glad it was over, glad that the town could now begin the healing process.
It was exactly quarter after eleven when Savannah flew through the café door and beelined to Meredith’s booth. As her friend slid in across from her, Meredith saw the lines of exhaustion that rode her features.
“Remind me again of why I wanted to be a newspaper mogul,” she said as she motioned to the waitress. “I was up all night getting a special edition of the paper ready.”
“I hear you’re single for the next couple of days,” Meredith said.
“It’s probably a good thing Joshua’s gone because I won’t have time for anything but the paper for the next two days. By the time he gets back from his assignment, the worst of the furor will be over.”
Their conversation halted as the waitress arrived to take their orders. After she left, Savannah chatted about the stress of being the new owner of the Cotter Creek Chronicles and the biggest news break the town had seen in years, but it was obvious she loved her new position.
“Now, tell me what’s going on with you. What’s wrong?” Savannah asked abruptly.
Meredith leaned back against the booth. “What makes you think anything is wrong?”
Savannah leaned forward, her gaze holding Meredith’s intently. “I can see it in your eyes. Something has happened.”
Unexpected tears sprang to Meredith’s eyes and she hastily wiped at them. “I feel like such a fool.” She stared down at the top of the table. “I made the terrible mistake of falling in love.”
“With Chase.” It wasn’t a question but rather a statement of fact.
She looked up at Savannah. “Is it that obvious?”
Savannah smiled. “Only every minute the two of you are together. He looks at you the same way you look at him. So what’s the problem?”
“The problem is he isn’t in the market for a relationship with anyone. The problem is he has no desire to take things any further with me.” Meredith sighed unhappily.
“Men never think they want a long-term relationship. It’s up to you to convince Chase that he can’t live without you.”
Meredith shook her head. “You know the old saying, ‘You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.’ He’s leaving tomorrow to go back to Kansas City and I’ll go back to my usual life.”
Usual life. She wasn’t even sure what that was anymore. At that moment Buck Harmon entered the café. As his gaze fell on her, he jerked his cowboy hat off his head.
He hurried over to their booth, a shy smile stretching his thin lips. “Savannah.” He nodded his head with a fast bob, then turned his attention to Meredith. “You look nice today,” he said. “I was sorry we didn’t get to finish our dance at the Fall Festival.” He worried the brim of his hat between his fingers.
“Buck, you didn’t by any chance send me flowers the morning after the dance, did you?” she asked.
“No. Why? Should I have?” He looked at her in surprise.
Meredith studied his features carefully. He was over the age of forty. He obviously liked her. Although he professed not to have sent the roses, she wasn’t sure if she believed him or not. “I got some flowers that morning but there was no card. I’ve been trying to figure out who was nice enough to send them to me.”
“If they made you happy then I’m sorry it wasn’t me,” he replied.
At that moment the waitress arrived to deliver their orders and Buck moved away from their booth and took a stool at the counter.
“He’s definitely working up his nerve to ask you out,” Savannah said when the waitress had left. “But he’s way too old for you. You’re twenty-eight and he’s on the wrong side of forty.”
“I’m not exactly in the mood to go out on a date with anyone right now,” Meredith replied. Was Buck Harmon just a shy man trying to get up the nerve to ask her out or was he her secret admirer?
“It’s time”. Never had two simple words brought with them such a feeling of quiet alarm. Never had two words evoked such a feeling of impending doom.
As she and Savannah ate lunch, she was grateful that the conversation moved away from Chase and love. Savannah talked about the challenges ahead of her in running the only newspaper in town.
“I’m going to be so involved with the daily operation that I need to hire a couple of reporters to do the actual stories. You don’t have a secret burning to be a reporter, do you?” Savannah asked.
Meredith laughed. “No way. Besides, I’m not sure I’m going to stick around here for long.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Savannah, I know how much you love it here, that when you came here from Scottsdale yo
u felt as if this town was finally home for you. But it’s different for me. I have a need to head to a bigger city, someplace where I won’t be one of the West kids but just Meredith. I really don’t expect you to understand.”
Savannah drizzled ketchup across a pile of fries. “Where would you go?”
“Not far. I’d never want to be so far away that I couldn’t come home pretty regularly to see everyone. Maybe Tulsa or Oklahoma City.”
“Or Kansas City?” Savannah arched a copper-colored brow.
“No, not Kansas City,” Meredith replied firmly. There was no way she could be in the same city as Chase and not feel his presence. There was no way she wanted serendipity to work so that she ran into him in a grocery store or at a shopping mall.
They chatted until they were finished eating, then Savannah looked at her watch and frowned. “I hate to eat and run, but I’ve got tons of work waiting for me at the office.” She opened her purse to get out her half of the bill.
“Don’t worry about it,” Meredith said. “It’s on me today.”
Savannah paused a moment, her expression somber. “If you do move away you know I’ll miss you dreadfully.”
“You’ll be too busy to miss me,” Meredith replied with a forced lightness. “Go on, get out of here.”
“Call me,” Savannah said, then she whirled around and walked toward the exit.
Meredith watched as her friend left the café. If she did decide to move she would definitely miss Savannah. The two women had bonded from the first moment they’d met.
She turned her gaze toward the counter. Buck was gone. Even though he seemed like a nice enough man, she was glad he had already left. Something about him just gave her the creeps.
“It’s time.” How she wished she could get those two words out of her head. Tonight she’d tell her family about the notes. She knew Chase wouldn’t leave unless he knew safety measures were in place for her.
Safety In Numbers Page 14