by Sky Corgan
I round his desk. As soon as I’m in front of him, he grabs me by the hips and turns me around.
“Bend over and place your hands on top of the desk,” he instructs. “And spread your legs.”
I hear his chair give a small sigh as he stands and the wheels roll effortlessly across the hardwood floor away from him. I get into position, placing my hands on either side of his keyboard. As I stare down at it, I take note of how immaculately clean it is. There’s not a crumb in sight. No grime on any of the keys. Though some of the letters are nearly worn off from use.
I see Xan’s hand move in my peripheral vision. He picks his phone up from the desk, and the buzzing between my legs blessedly stops.
“Did you enjoy your punishment?” he asks in a seductive tone, his fingers circling the globe of my ass. Just his touch ignites something inside of me—the need for more. When I hesitate because I can’t decide if the answer is yes or no, I feel a firm slap on my ass. Pain blooms in my backside, the unexpectedness of it causing me to yelp. “I asked you a question.”
“No, sir,” I decide.
“Are you sure?” he hums. “Because I’m pretty sure that when I pull my toy out of you, you’re going to be soaked.”
Again, I’m not sure how to respond. I brace myself for another spanking, closing my eyes in anticipation. Instead, I feel Xan’s fingers sliding beneath the waistband of the harness.
“Shall we take a look?” he asks before beginning to pull it down.
My pussy clings to the plug, not so much consciously as that the design keeps it well seated. It gives resistance as he begins to pull it out, and I hiss from the soreness, thankful that my self-lubrication has made the extraction more bearable.
As soon as the plug is out, I feel a thick digit take its place. “Definitely soaked.” Another finger comes up beside it, and my breath hitches as Xan stuffs them both into me, feeling my inner walls. “Still sore? The more we do this, the more you’ll get used to it.”
I chew my bottom lip as he curls his fingers and pets over the sweet place inside of me that might as well be called the orgasm button. It’s torturous how slowly he’s moving. Enough to keep me on edge but not enough to allow me to come. I fight the urge to move my hips with him, just wanting release.
“Aren’t you a needy girl,” he teases. “You can’t even pretend you don’t want it anymore.”
That strikes a chord of conflict within me. I don’t want it, do I? For him to be touching me like this? We’re nothing to each other besides boss and employee. And yet, I can’t stop my body from craving him, no matter how sinful it is.
Xan’s fingers leave me, and seconds later I hear the deafening sound of a zipper being pulled down. I turn my head to look at him, and he strikes me across the ass again. “Don’t look. Don’t you fucking turn around,” his tone is oddly menacing.
Not being able to see him, I feel a strange disconnect between us. His cock head nudges between my folds. I close my eyes, longing for release. He teases at my entryway for several moments, swiping his glans between my pussy lips and probing at my opening before finally bucking forward to fill me. My back arches and I shudder from the sensation. Hearing a curse word slip from Xan’s lips only heightens my pleasure.
He grips my hips as he begins to thrust. I long to see his face but don’t dare turn around. Long to kiss his lips. To thread my fingers into his hair. To feel him writhe on top of me like he did last night. This feels good, too, but it’s different; an impersonal way of having sex. Sight unseen, I could imagine any number of men behind me. I don’t let my mind wander that far, though. Because there’s only one man that I want. Him.
Every time I open my eyes, I lose focus, so I keep them closed. I picture Xan’s gorgeous green eyes and remember how soft his lips were. Just thinking about the full package that is Xander Sanderlin is enough to make me climax, though the orgasm isn’t as intense as the one last night. And as soon as I do, Xan groans and pulls out of me to spray his seed all over my back. It feels hot and wet and wasted—like it should have been inside of me. That’s an insane thought, though. At least, this lets me know that the torture with the plug is probably over.
Xan sighs as he steps away from me. He pulls a few tissues from the box on his desk and wipes my back off before cleaning himself and shoving his cock back into his pants. I stay in position until he tells me I can move. When I’m finally allowed to look at him, he pays me no mind. He simply brushes me aside to return to his desk, nudging the lingerie in my direction. “Put that on.”
I disrobe in front of him, desperately wanting him to acknowledge me. He takes no interest. Have I become just the means to an end for him? A tool? No better than the tissue he just used and discarded?
It takes me several minutes to figure out that a bit of string is actually the top for the French maid costume. When I put it on, Xan barely affords me a glance before telling me where all the cleaning supplies are and picking up his briefcase to head for the door. I’m left with a soreness between my legs and an emptiness in my heart as I wonder what’s wrong with him. Did something happen between last night and this morning? Perhaps he figured out that I took the plug out and is punishing me for it by being distant. Or am I misreading this entirely?
Isolation is the worst punishment I could possibly receive. Crueler than the plug or the spankings or even the taking of my innocence. Xan has meetings all week. Most nights, he comes home so late that he eats dinner out. We still have breakfast together, but the majority of our meals are spent in silence. Each morning, he gives me a list of tasks to accomplish, but I typically finish them all before noon. I’m beginning to feel useless. Worst than that, I feel ignored.
He hasn’t wanted sex since he took me from behind in his office. I want to ask if I did something wrong, but that seems too needy. I have to remind myself that this is a job. I have to tell myself that I haven’t gotten attached, that I don’t worry when he comes home late it’s because he’s with another woman. I have to tell myself that he doesn’t belong to me—that we’re nothing to each other. I have to lie to myself over and over again to the point that it corrodes my very soul.
The truth is that each night is pain. Each night is tears. Each day is spent sucking up my feelings and praying that the tides will turn and he’ll touch me or even just give me a longing look.
And then I’ve finally had enough. I’ve had enough of being alone, so I start going home during the daytime to be with my family.
I don’t tell Xan’s driver. I don’t tell anyone. I simply change into my regular clothes, lock up and leave; hike a mile down the street to the nearest bus stop and don’t look back. And when I get to our apartment, and my mother’s face lights up as I walk through the door, I know it’s totally worth it—worth the chance of getting fired.
We start to fall into a lazy, comfortable routine. Knowing that Xan probably won’t get home until late, I don’t mind sticking around if either Dorothy or Ruby has an errand to run and can’t watch my mother. Being here gives me the companionship that I’ve been missing. Mom and I play hangman during the day or paint pictures with dollar store watercolors and blank sheets of notebook paper. I eventually stop worrying about Xan figuring out that I’ve been sneaking out.
Until the day that he does figure it out.
I come home with plenty of time to spare, but I know that something is wrong the second I see the limo parked in front of the house with Xan’s driver sitting inside. Panic spikes my heart as I try to figure out how to sneak back in without being noticed.
I decide to go through the backdoor. The house is quiet as usual. I tiptoe as quickly as possible up the stairs and somehow manage to make it to my room unnoticed. Xan must be in his office. I suppose that being invisible to him has its advantages. If I’m lucky, he won’t even know I was gone.
I change into my lingerie for the day, a teddy so bright green that it makes me feel like a giant booger. I’m pulling the second strap over my shoulder when he storms into my roo
m, flinging the door open so hard that it slams against the wall.
“Where were you?” His nostrils flare.
I play coy. “I was outside trimming the rose bushes.”
He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t take you for a liar.”
“I’m not lying.” I knit my brow.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve been trimming the rose bushes all week...for several hours a day.”
My chest tightens. I’ve definitely been busted.
“Where have you been going during the day?” he demands.
I feel backed into a corner. Trapped. There’s no lie that would make sense. All I have is the truth.
“I’ve been going home. Okay?” I confess.
“No. It’s not okay.” Xan shakes his head. “Your job isn’t that fucking difficult, Christiana—”
“I know, Xander,” I cut him off, using his full name to shut him up. “And I do my job before I leave. I promise you, there’s nothing left on my list when I walk out that door.”
“That’s not the point.” He tears his hand through his hair.
“No.” I step up to him, feeling bold. “The point is that you want to keep me here all alone in isolation like some pet. I do my job. When most people finish their job, they’re allowed to go home and spend time with their family.”
“The point is that you didn’t fucking ask,” he shouts over me and then sighs.
I cower back. “I didn’t think you’d let me.”
“Why? Because I’m such a monster.” His gaze slices right through me.
When I don’t answer, he turns away. The iciness that fills the room makes my chest tighten. It’s dismissal on a different level. He’s about to fire me; I just know it. I hold my breath, waiting for the ball to drop.
“In my office in ten minutes.” His voice is so hard that my guts twist with discomfort from the sound of it. This is the end. It has to be. And I’m not even sure I care anymore.
He leaves the room, and I sit on the side of the bed to hug myself. It only takes a few minutes to find my resolve. I’m not going to let him stomp me into the ground for needing the love and kindness of a normal human being. Somehow, he’s okay going through life alone, but I’m not.
Everything about this job has been wrong from day one. I’ve bent over backward to please him. Have thrown my morals to the wind. Have given him my body. I even came close to giving him my heart. If he can’t afford me this one kindness, then I shouldn’t be here.
I’ll go home a ruined girl, but what does it matter to him. Men like him are monsters. They take and take, not caring about the destruction they leave in their wake.
I pull off the stupid lingerie in jerking motions. He’ll know my intentions the second I walk through that door in my regular clothes. I won’t give him the satisfaction of firing me. If I’m going down, then it will be in a blaze of glory.
I gather up my nerve and take long strides to Xan’s office. Despite my new resolve, each step brings me pain. Lord only knows how I’m going to get through this. No doubt, Xan will screw any chance I have of getting a good job in this city again. Oh well. There’s always the ranch or baking bread and selling it on the street like my mother did. No one checks your references when you’re self-employed.
When I get to Xan’s office, I march right in like I own the place, though I keep my arms crossed for protection. It’s a small barrier of security against his intimidation. And oh does he ever look intimidating. He’s sitting in his office chair, his ankle crossed over his knee. One hand rests lazily on top of his desk. He was expecting me. Waiting, by the looks of it.
His eyes rake up my body, and disapproval contorts his expression. “Where’s your uniform?”
“I quit.” The words come out in a pathetic stutter.
“You...quit,” he repeats them as if he’s never heard them before.
I swallow hard, averting my gaze. Why does it hurt so much to look at him? I have to say my peace before I leave though. It’s the only way I can walk out of here with my head held high.
“You don’t know what it’s like.” I shift my weight. “You don’t know what I sacrificed for this job.”
“What did you sacrifice, Christiana?” Amusement is plain in his voice. It pisses me off.
“Everything.” I snap at him, my eyes shooting up to meet his. I want him to feel the full depth of my words. “I sacrificed everything. My morals. My soul. I’ve bent over until I’ve broken just to please you.
“I left my family. My mother who’s in recovery from crippling pneumonia. You know she cried the first time I came home to visit her. It hadn’t been that long, but I was just happy she remembered me.” Tears come to my eyes as I think of the memory. “We almost lost her. I almost lost her. That’s the only reason I even agreed to take this job. She needs round the clock care because she can barely walk. Oxygen tanks don’t pay for themselves. Her lungs were damaged so badly that she doesn’t get enough oxygen without them. We’re in so much debt...” my voice trails off as it begins to shake, my grief overwhelming me. What am I going to do now?
Xan stands and crosses the space between us. I cower back, waiting for him to kick me out of his office. Instead, strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into an unexpected embrace. He holds me tightly, stroking my hair. “Christiana, I had no idea.”
Of course, he didn’t. I never had any intentions of burdening him with my problems. And we never made it far enough into a conversation for me to tell him about this part of my life.
I push him away. “I don’t need your sympathy.” For the first time, I see something in his eyes resembling hurt. “You don’t care about me. My situation is none of your concern.” I turn to leave, but he grabs me by the hand, pulling me back to him.
When our eyes lock, he’s looking at me with so much emotion. He caresses my cheek, and I have to resist the urge to lean into his touch. I desperately need to be comforted right now, but not by him.
“But I do care, Christiana. I care so much.” His eyes move over my face tenderly, stopping at my lips. I feel weak. He’s giving me that look that I’ve been longing for ever since the last time we were together. And when he leans in to kiss me, I don’t pull away.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CAN A KISS MAKE EVERYTHING right again? I’m not so sure. All I do know is that Xan has somehow managed to suck me back in.
Being with him like this, I feel less alone. Less like he’s my boss. More like we’re something else.
He pulls me to his desk and clears it with a swipe of his hand. I can’t help but smirk as I break free from the kiss breathlessly, thinking about how everything on his desk takes a beating when he’s horny. It must be nice to have so much money that you don’t care about breaking things. Or maybe it’s not such a good thing. Because the entire time I’ve been here, I’ve worried that he hasn’t cared that he’s broken me. Right now he’s showing me that’s not the case, but should I actually believe him.
His mouth is hard against mine. Our lips barely part as he lifts me onto the desk, his hands clawing under my skirt to get to my panties and pull them down. I don’t help him. I want him to work for it.
My fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt. “Don’t you have a meeting to go to? I saw your driver waiting outside.”
“This is more important,” he whispers against my cheek before kissing a path to my neck.
Is it? I wonder. Am I more important to him? Is he just doing this because he knows it will keep me here? When his teeth sink into the flesh at the base of my neck, I stop caring. I wince from the pain, knowing that he’s marking me his. There’s a strange satisfaction in that.
By the time I have his shirt unbuttoned, he’s already pulled his cock out. It’s hard with desire, and my cunt clenches from the sight of it only moments before he lifts my skirt to force his way inside.
I gasp his name when he enters me. It’s been so long that he has to break through a ring of pain before pleasure consumes me. The stretching sensa
tion is phenomenal—the way he fills every part of me. Not just my cunt, but my heart. When we’re coupled like this, I feel such affection for him.
He takes my face in his hands, his lips touching mine tenderly. I don’t want tender right now, though. I curl my fingers into his hair, pulling him down to me. I clip his bottom lip between my teeth, feeling carnal need take over, and he groans as he begins to thrust.
His hands find my ass, drawing me to him. He’s so strong that he’s practically lifting me onto his dick. I wrap my arms around him, thinking about the neck bite he gave me earlier. For the first time ever, it feels like we’re on equal footing, like I have permission to do whatever I want because he’s asking me to forgive him with his body. I decide to take advantage of it, sliding my hands beneath his shirt and clawing my nails down his back until I feel skin bunch beneath them.
Xan tosses his head back and curses. The feeling of his cock slamming into me is absolutely delicious. I work quickly to remove a hand from his shirt and slide it behind his neck, leveraging my grip on him to lick up his Adam’s apple. The way I have to angle my body to reach him makes him feel even deeper inside of me. My pussy sucks at him, tightening to no avail.
“Wicked woman” He looks at me like he could tear me apart, pausing to pull his tie from around his neck.
He grabs my hands and holds them in front of me while he loops the tie around my wrists until they’re bound. Then he pushes me down onto my back and takes hold of my thighs to continue pumping into me. I close my eyes, so pleased with myself that I’d be all grins if my mouth weren’t busy whimpering and moaning.
The desk scratches against the wood floor beneath us. I can see his computer monitor shaking lightly with each buck of his hips. His hand reaches between my legs to play with my clit. A few deft flicks across the tiny bundle of nerves makes me see stars. My toes curl inside my shoes, making me wish my feet were bare. None of this was ever part of my plan, though. I had no idea that I was going to come into Xander Sanderlin’s office to quit my job and would end up on my back on his desk. I still have no idea what any of this means.