by Tawna Fenske
Ben let the words wash over him, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. He dropped his hand back onto the bed, not sure he felt right touching her. So it was all about the money all along. He’d known that, on some level—he’d signed the damn check himself. But still, he’d hoped it was evolving into more. Had he been naive?
“So this whole time, I was just a paycheck?” he said slowly. “A chance to save your real estate investment?”
She looked up at him, alarm flashing in her eyes. He waited for her to argue, to tell him he was wrong and that it had become so much more than that to her.
But instead, she shook her head. “I would hope you think I earned that money,” she said. “Every penny of it. I worked hard for you.”
“I’m not questioning that. But this whole job was just another business transaction for you.”
Again, he waited for her to argue. He stayed silent, wanting to hear her say those words. She didn’t speak for a long time, so Ben reached out again and touched her hand once more. “I wanted a shot at a real relationship with you. Something real. Something meaningful.”
Was it his imagination, or did she flinch?
She looked at him long and hard. Then she looked away. “Yes.” He watched her throat move as she swallowed. “To answer your question, it was always just a business arrangement.”
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. “Nothing more?”
“Nothing more.” She looked down at the comforter, plucking at a loose thread. “I’m sorry, Ben. Our careers and our personal lives have gotten too tangled up together and I think it’s time we said good-bye.”
He stared at her. Would an alpha male CEO catch her by the hand and ask her to stay? Would he demand she sit here and listen to all the reasons they should give this thing a shot? He started to open his mouth, then stopped.
She looked at him then, and the sadness in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Her mind was made up. If she was really ready to walk away from this, maybe she wasn’t the woman he thought she was.
You’re just like your father after all. Relationships can never turn out to be more than career-building tools.
As if to emphasize the point, Holly stood up and smoothed her hands down her skirt. She took a step away from the bed, and the look on her face nearly broke his heart.
“Good-bye, Ben,” she said, and took another step back. Then another, her gaze still on his face like she was trying to memorize him. Then she turned away and moved toward the door.
As the door clicked shut behind her, Ben took a deep breath.
Then he swallowed his alpha male ego, and let her go.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben glared at himself in the dressing room mirror. The tuxedo he wore made him look like an angry monkey, which only served to piss him off more.
“You look fabulous!”
Ben turned to see Marcus the salesman smiling at him through the open doorway. Ben pivoted and checked out his side view in the mirror, but that wasn’t much better. From this angle, he looked more like a disgruntled penguin.
Marcus didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he was too discreet to say anything. “The fit is almost perfect,” he said, hustling forward to straighten Ben’s lapels. “A little tailoring through the shoulders and we’ll have you fixed up in a jiff. When did you say this charity gala is happening?”
“Saturday.”
“Perfect. We’ll have you all squared away. Do you need any more ties?”
“Ties,” Ben repeated. “Let me think on that.” Christ, he’d bought more ties in the last month than he’d purchased in his entire life up to that point, which wasn’t saying much. Still, he had no idea when he’d ever get around to wearing them all. Dinner dates with Holly?
That wasn’t going to happen.
He’d tried to get up the nerve to call, but each time he heard her words echoing in his ears.
It was always just a business arrangement.
So that’s how it was. He didn’t know why the idea had caught him by surprise. It was how all his father’s relationships had been structured, and Ben had been doing his best to master his dad’s job. He was fulfilling his own destiny here.
A rustling behind him pulled Ben from his thoughts. “I think he needs one of those snot rag things.”
Ben turned at the sound of his best friend’s voice, and smiled to see Parker ambling toward the open dressing room.
Marcus eyed Parker and gave an uncomfortable little laugh. “Snot rag?”
“I think he’s talking about a pocket square,” Ben said. “And the fact that I even know what a pocket square is means I’ve effectively become my father.”
“Pocket square! Yes, of course,” Marcus said. “I have several I can show you if you’d like?”
“That’d be great,” Parker told him. “It’ll give me a chance to talk to this dumbass.”
Marcus looked back at Ben, probably wondering if it was safe to leave the two of them alone together. Ben gave a silent nod, so Marcus turned and hurried toward the door.
“Absolutely,” the salesman said, scurrying down the hall as he chattered on about silk paisley while Ben turned back to the mirror and straightened his tie.
“You know, you couldn’t become your father if you had a million snot rags,” Parker said, leaning against the wall. “And you couldn’t be a bigger dipshit if you put catnip in your pockets and crawled into a lion’s den.”
“Thank you. Is this heartwarming little pep talk almost over?”
Parker shook his head and slugged Ben in the shoulder. It was enough to make him turn around and look his friend in the eye again. “What?” Ben demanded.
“I knew you were a mess when you texted me to bail on our gym time because your dad ordered you to get a new tuxedo. Don’t you have enough monkey suits?”
“Not an actual tuxedo, apparently. Who knew that was a thing?”
“It’s a thing in your dad’s world. It doesn’t have to be in your world.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean you’re the CEO now, Ben. Over the last few weeks, I’ve watched you turn into a corporate badass in ways that have nothing to do with your father. I’ve watched you land business deals and make professional contacts and give speeches that knock people’s socks off. That’s all you, buddy.”
“It’s not all me,” he said, still straightening his tie for no apparent reason. The damn thing was straight as a yardstick. “I couldn’t have done it without Holly.”
“Holly,” Parker said fondly, and Ben fixed his friend with a scowl. “Sorry about that,” Parker said. “If it helps, I think she was the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“Nope, doesn’t help. Try again.”
“I suppose it doesn’t,” he said. “And maybe she’ll change her mind. But in the meantime, she’s given you the best gift she possibly could.”
“A kick in the balls? That wasn’t on my Christmas list.”
“No, dumbass. A chance to stand on your own two feet in the family company. With or without Holly, now’s your chance to show everyone what you’ve got.”
Ben studied his best friend, appreciating the earnestness in his expression and the truth in his words. Appreciating the fact that Parker had stood by him these last few days while he’d grumbled and snarled and done his damnedest not to think about Holly.
But Parker had a point. Now wasn’t the time to think about her. It was the time to prove he could do this CEO thing, with or without her. It was time to prove he could be a leader his way.
Ben reached up and grabbed the edge of his tie. He hesitated a moment, thinking about his dad. Then with a quick yank, he pulled the tie out of the shirt collar. He stared at it for a moment like it was a well-used tissue.
Then he dropped it on the dressing room floor.
“In that case,” Ben said. “I’ll start by ditching this.”
Holly paced slowly across the front of the room, pausing to r
est her palm on the purple conference table before smoothing a hand down her black pencil skirt. Her posture was perfect, her voice was commanding, her mastery of the subject matter was impeccable.
The rest of her wasn’t feeling so hot.
“As you can see, we’ve mapped out an aggressive rebranding plan for Sunstone Lemonade,” she said, projecting an energy she didn’t feel. “It’s fresh, it’s edgy, and above all, it’s guaranteed to grow your business by more than fifteen percent within the first six months of campaign launch. Are there any questions?”
“I have one.”
Holly turned to Miriam, the only other person in the boardroom and the only team member brave enough to sit through this dry run of her next account presentation.
“Yes?” Holly pointed at Miriam, pretending not to know her name. “Ma’am, you had a question?”
“I do. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Holly rolled her eyes. “Come on, Miriam. I need to practice. I’m trying to nail this presentation.”
“And you think that’s better than nailing Ben?” Miriam shook her head, making her chandelier earrings sway like wind chimes. “You’re off your game, sweetie. No offense, but it shows.”
“So give me feedback. Do I need to dial up the zing in the PowerPoint slides or wear something a little more edgy?”
“You need to stop looking like someone backed over your dog with a bulldozer.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean you look miserable.” Miriam sighed and leaned forward across the table. “Look, Holly—I know you’re bummed about what happened with Ben. But do you think maybe you overreacted just a little?”
“No.”
“Way to keep an open mind.”
Holly dropped into an empty chair and kicked off the stupid stilettos that had been pinching her toes all afternoon. Belatedly, she realized she was seated in the exact chair she’d been in when Ben’s presentation prompted her to strip naked in the conference room. She stood up again, feeling twitchy and annoyed.
“Look, it was never going to work,” she said. “Things were doomed the second we crossed that line between business and pleasure. I should have known better than to let those two things get all mixed up together.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Miriam argued. “Just because Chase screwed you over at the intersection of love and money doesn’t mean every guy is destined to do that.”
“But he was becoming his father,” she said. “Ben, I mean. The sports car, the golf game, the assertive personality—”
“Hon, guys can have those things without being raging dickheads like your ex or like Lyle Langley. That’s like concluding that because Ben has testicles and Chase has testicles and Lyle has testicles—”
“Stop. I don’t need this many mental pictures of testicles.”
“Well you need something to slap you out of this stupid belief that there’s a correlation between businessmen with a commanding presence and guys who want you to trade in your career for six inches of man meat and two feet of cable chaining you to the stove.”
“It was more than six inches,” Holly muttered, then shook her head. “That’s beside the point.”
“What is the point then?”
“I was starting to fall for him,” she said softly. “The real Ben. The geeky Ben, not the schmoozy, in-charge CEO, but the real him. At least the him I thought was the real him. The one who thinks a Star Wars DVD is a romantic gift.”
“It was a romantic gift.”
“I know!” Holly smacked the table in frustration at her own inability to form a coherent argument. She was usually so good at this.
“You weren’t just falling for the geek, though,” Miriam said. “You were falling for the sexy gym rat with the commanding presence in the boardroom and the G-spot locator in his middle finger.”
Holly buried her head in her hands. “Why did I tell you that?”
“And you’re petrified that all these different versions of the guy can’t peacefully coexist in one body.”
Holly kept her head down, considering. Did Miriam have a point? She looked up to see her friend watching her with a disturbing mix of sympathy and clever calculation.
“You think he can be both,” Holly said. “The geek and the powerful businessman.”
“I’ve never met him, remember? But I do think it’s possible.”
Holly took a shaky breath and looked down at her hands. Had she completely blown it with Ben? Was it too late to find out?
When she looked up at Miriam, her friend wore a sympathetic expression. Holly licked her lips. “I think it’s possible I love him,” she said softly.
“I know it is.”
Holly shook her head. “So what do I do?”
Miriam reached out and patted her hand, her lacquered red nails bright against Holly’s pale skin. “I have a plan.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Nice one!” Ben clapped Joe Kleinberger on the shoulder, beaming as the old man did a fist pump and turned away from the vintage Pac Man game in the corner of Ben’s office.
“I can’t believe I beat my high score from thirty years ago!” Kleinberger grinned. “I also can’t believe you knew about my secret passion for old school arcade games.”
“I saw it on your Facebook page,” Ben said. “I just got these babies a few days ago, so when I heard you were coming out for the event tonight, I knew I had to get you up here to play a few rounds.”
Kleinberger laughed. “If we get bored with all the stiffs in suits downstairs, maybe we can sneak back up here and try out the Frogger game next.”
“Deal.” Ben cleared his throat. “Speaking of deals—”
“Yes, I suppose we should talk a bit more about the contracts.” Kleinberger ran a hand over his snowy white hair, then straightened the lapels of his jacket. Like Ben, he wasn’t wearing a tie, which Ben took as a good sign.
“There’s no rush,” Ben said. “You can take all the time you need looking over the changes I proposed.”
Kleinberger shook his head and gave a dry little chuckle. “Boy, you sure are different from your father. ‘Take all the time you need.’ You wouldn’t believe how seldom I hear that in business these days.”
Actually, Ben would believe it. He’d read an interview Kleinberger had done in Forbes magazine two years ago where the old man had expressed dismay at the rushed and thoughtless nature of modern business transactions. Never let it be said that CEO Ben Langley didn’t pay attention.
You learned that from Holly. Among other things.
“I’m just glad I got to spend the afternoon with you, sir,” Ben said. “I’ve really enjoyed learning more about how you and Mrs. Kleinberger built the company from the ground up.”
“Please, call me Joe.”
“Joe,” Ben repeated. “Beyond all the negotiations and business dealings, it’s been great getting to know you.”
“Likewise. Maybe once all this business is settled, Margaret and I can have you out for dinner sometime.”
“I’d like that,” Ben said, meaning it. How many times had his dad closed a deal, then closed the door on any further personal relationships with the players involved? But that wasn’t how Ben planned to run things. No way. Relationships mattered. They mattered a helluva lot, regardless of what they got you in the business world.
He’d learned that from Holly, too. He was still learning, even after a week of not seeing her.
The thought of Holly’s absence made his gut twist a little, but he shook it off to give Kleinberger his full attention as the old man spoke again.
“The contracts look great,” he was saying. “I’d like to spend a little more time with them if that’s okay, but I’m really happy with some of the changes you’ve made. The whole team looked them over the other day and we’re very impressed.”
“Good. I’m glad.” Ben cleared his throat. “I suppose we should get downstairs for the event.”
“I suppos
e so.” Kleinberger cast a longing look at Ben’s collection of arcade games, and Ben made a mental note to slip the guy his office key later.
Then the old man turned and nodded to the door. “Go ahead, son. Lead the way.”
The words echoed a little in Ben’s mind, taking on a meaning well beyond what Joe Kleinberger had intended.
Lead the way.
For the first time in his life, Ben Langley was sure he knew how to do that.
“My pleasure,” he said, and strode toward the door.
Outside in the parking lot, Holly sat in her car staring through the windshield. Her gaze was focused on a smudge of bird poop above her left windshield wiper. How long had it been there? When was the last time she’d had her car cleaned?
You’re stalling. And this is hardly the right train of thought for a professional woman getting ready to crash the event of the year to apologize to the man she loves.
At least she looked good. Miriam had seen to that. Holly glanced down and smoothed her hands over her dress, willing the butterflies to stop banging around against the walls of her stomach. She was decked out in a teal evening gown that Miriam insisted made her skin glow. The hemline skimmed her knees and she wore a pair of killer heels Miriam promised would accentuate her calves.
She wondered if Ben would notice.
Her mind drifted back to that blue silk dress and her first event with Ben. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She felt the pinprick of tears in her eyes, and she ordered herself to stop thinking about that.
The past wasn’t the issue here. She was done letting old ghosts tell her how to run her life, watching them hover over her shoulder as they whispered words of doubt and deception in her ear.
Those spooky bastards could go to hell.
She was living for the present now. And the future—with Ben, if he’d have her.
What if he’s not interested?
Holly shook her head to clear the negative thoughts. You’re a smart, savvy, career woman who just saved her own business. Now it’s time to save something more important than that.
She took a deep breath and pushed open the car door.