Anxiety lodged in her throat and for a moment, vertigo spun her equilibrium. “She’s probably already in bed by now. My mother-in-law—er, former mother-in-law—is babysitting.”
His nostrils flared. “I didn’t mean right this very minute.”
“But y-you’ve already met her.”
“I signed a little girl’s baseball. And I didn’t know who she was at the time.”
She blinked mist from her eyes. “But—but, she…” She swallowed back the lump of panic. “In what capacity do you, um, want to meet her?”
His annoyance screamed at her through the set of his jaw, the fire in his eyes. “Relax, Beth. I’m not the big, bad wolf, despite what you think. I just want to meet her. That’s all. You can introduce me however you want, as an old friend, whatever.”
***
“Mommy, what’s his name again?”
Beth pulled an ivory cabled sweater over her head, then shook her hair out to fluff with fingers that were more than a little bit shaky. “I didn’t tell you?”
This was really happening.
“No.” Lindsey lay on her stomach on Beth’s bed, propped up on her elbows with chin in hands, skinny legs bent, feet sticking up in the air.
“Oh, I thought I told you.” There was no turning back. She needed to make the best of it. For Lindsey’s sake.
She forced a grin. Lindsey would flip if she knew who was coming over, but Beth thought it would be a fun surprise. For Lindsey, not for Beth. Besides, playing this little game with her daughter kept her from overanalyzing and freaking out. Too much. “See if you can guess.” She still couldn’t believe Lindsey was going to meet—officially—her biological dad. Beth had honestly believed this day would never come. She’d prayed it wouldn’t.
Guilt and anxiety collided in her gut and she pressed a hand to her lower belly. Relax and breathe.
Lindsey giggled, knowing the game. “SpongeBob?”
Beth checked her reflection in the mirror. Presentable but nothing special. Nothing like Jack was used to. “Nope.”
Who cared what Jack was used to? It’s not like this was a date. It didn’t matter what she looked like. It didn’t matter that she was having a bad hair day or that she had a small blemish on her chin.
It. Didn’t. Matter.
“Princess Elsa?” Lindsey kicked her legs back and forth, squeaking the mattress.
“Nope.” Beth rubbed at a smudge beneath her eye. The world’s thickest mascara couldn’t make her auburn eyelashes stand out.
“Wait. It’s a boy, right?” Lindsey giggled.
Beth’s mind conjured up Jack’s image. Boy? No. Man? Yes. Oh, yes. Butterflies flitted through her stomach, which was ridiculous. “Yes. It’s a he.” A super sexy he.
She slipped a fabric headband over her hair, then sat on the edge of the bed and slid her feet into loafers. “You’ve met him before.”
Lindsey began naming various men and boys in their lives. Finally, when she’d exhausted her memory, “Can we really go to Charlie Cheesie for pizza?”
Beth nodded as she stood up and tugged the sweater down over her jeans. Damn, her jeans were getting tight. She really needed to lay off the candy machines at the call center. “He said we could go any place you wanted.” She’d be sure to fit in an extra run this week.
Lindsey jumped to her knees and clapped her hands, unable to contain her joy. Oh, to be six years old again, and so easily excited. Although there was a time, not so long ago, that Beth felt that same excitement when she knew she was about to see Jack.
“Can I go stand by the window and watch for the person?” Lindsey peered up at her with pleading puppy dog eyes. “Please, please, please?”
Beth took a calming breath, realizing Jack would be here any second now. She nodded. “Sure, go ahead. But when he gets here, don’t answer the door until I tell you to, okay?”
As Lindsey raced off to the front of the house, Beth pressed a hand against her unsettled stomach. She needed to relax. This wasn’t the end of the world, even though it felt like it.
Just because Jack wanted to meet his daughter didn’t mean he wanted to be her dad.
***
Just because he was meeting a little girl who happened to be his biological child, didn’t mean he was going to be her daddy.
That thought made him break out into a cold sweat.
Jack’s hands gripped the steering wheel as he pulled up against the curb across the street from Beth’s house.
His heart raced and buzzed in his ears similar to the feeling he got as he stood at home plate, awaiting the next pitch. Excited. Nervous. In the game, this feeling was addicting, an adrenaline rush. But right here, right now, waiting to meet his daughter for the first time, was way different. It was like stepping up to the plate in the ninth inning with the bases loaded, two outs, and the game on the line. Knowing he’d played shitty the whole game. One more final misstep and the game would over.
Would Lindsey like him? Would he like her? What would Beth think?
Beth’s image washed over him and it made him nervous in a completely different way. He liked being around her, always had. Probably a little too much. He needed to watch that. Lindsey was enough of a distraction. He didn’t need her gorgeous mom hitting foul balls into his libido.
Jack peered across the street at Beth’s humble house. The soft glow from the porch light illuminated the walkway. A little girl appeared in the front window as he worked up the nerve to get out of the car, which was ridiculous for a grown man.
Lindsey. His daughter.
No. Not his daughter. Beth’s daughter.
His heart squeezed as if a giant rubber band encircled it. He couldn’t make out her features from where he sat, but he could tell she wore pigtails. When she waved at him, he slowly waved back.
Two outs. Bases loaded. You’re up, McCauley.
But this wasn’t a game. This was life.
Unfortunately, he’d always done better at the game of baseball than the game of life.
Chapter Five
Lindsey ran back into the bedroom. “The person is here, Mommy! He’s sitting in his car and I waved at him and he waved back.” Her smile got that much bigger when the doorbell rang. She raced toward the door in front of Beth. “Can I answer it, please, Mommy, please?”
Beth took a calming breath, then nodded.
Lindsey opened the door wide to reveal a nervous-looking Jack, which immediately put Beth more at ease. She supposed it wasn’t every day that you came face to face with the daughter you never knew about.
Lindsey’s eyes grew wide. “Jack-Mack!” She spun around to Beth. “Mommy, Jack-Mack is at our house!”
“I know, sweetie,” Beth said with a smile.
Lindsey jumped up and down. “Wow! You’re my favorite player in the whole world! In the universe! This is so cool!” She couldn’t get the words and compliments out fast enough. “Mom,” she whispered in a loud voice. “Is Jack-Mack the person?”
Jack looked confused.
Beth bit back a smile. “Yes, Mr. McCauley is the person I told you about. He’s taking us out for pizza.”
Lindsey squealed her delight. Jack just watched her with a bemused expression on his face, as if he didn’t know what to think. “Uh, she can, ah, call me Jack.”
He glanced over at Beth and for a moment, their gazes locked. She looked away first, not liking the way her heart rate had sped up just a bit more.
Lindsey tugged on her sweater.
“Can I show Jack-Mack the letter, Mommy?” Lindsey’s whisper was more like a shout in her excitement.
“Oh, sweetie, you can do that later.”
Lindsey tugged on her sweater again. “Please, Mommy, please can I show him?”
Beth knew her daughter’s stubbornness, so she gave in. “All right. Go get it. But hurry up, I’m sure Jack’s starving.” Lindsey ran out of the room so fast, Beth wasn’t sure she’d even heard the last comment. Not that it would’ve made a difference.
&n
bsp; “This is so… surreal.” Jack rocked back on his heels, his voice catching. “I can’t believe she’s... that she came from... me.” He looked like a father seeing his newborn baby for the first time, amazement and disbelief stamped plainly across his face.
The edge of Beth’s panic chipped away a bit. A thin blanket of guilt covered its place.
Lindsey ran pell-mell back into the room. She flung a dog-eared envelope into Jack’s hands. “Look! I kept it this whole time.”
Jack peered at the envelope and took out the letter. He scanned its contents, then looked to Lindsey, and up to Beth, before returning his gaze to the wrinkled paper in his hands.
“This is a letter from me to you. How did you—?” His sandy brows drew together.
“Don’t you remember? I sent you a letter after you got hurt, cuz I wanted to cheer you up.” Lindsey’s pixie face was crestfallen when Jack’s expression remained confused. “You wrote me back to thank me. See?” She pointed to the letter in his hands. “Don’t you remember?”
Beth knew her daughter was about to cry. “Honey, that was a long time ago.”
“Of course I remember!” Jack’s words cut her off. He craned his neck to see Lindsey’s face because she hung her head so forlornly, the little drama queen. “I just can’t believe you’ve kept it all this time. I’m very lucky to have such a big fan.”
Good save, Jack.
Lindsey’s face immediately brightened. “You swear you remember?” she asked, needing to be reassured.
“How could I forget the nicest letter I ever got? It made my day.”
Lindsey flung herself into Jack’s unsuspecting arms. She had always been a demonstrative child and wasn’t shy, but Beth had never seen her take to someone so quickly. Jack’s sheepish smile over Lindsey’s shoulder as he hugged her back made Beth’s heart swell with emotion. And more than a smidge of guilt.
Suddenly, Lindsey pulled away from Jack and grabbed his hand. “You gotta see my room. Come on.”
Beth didn’t have time to object before Lindsey dragged Jack down the hall. She knew why Lindsey was so insistent. She followed along doggedly.
Lindsey pointed to a giant poster beside her bed. “That’s you in your rookie year,” she patiently explained, as if Jack couldn’t see for himself. Beth smiled behind her hand.
“Boy, you are a big fan, aren’t you?” Jack looked around the bedroom, clearly flattered and amused by what he saw. Except for the usual little girl’s décor of fluffy yellow bedspread and frilly curtains, the room was covered in baseball posters on the walls and baseball trophies on the dresser.
“What did you do, brainwash her?” Jack asked Beth over Lindsey’s head as she showed him her baseball card collection.
Beth shrugged sheepishly. “Not intentionally.” Jack gave her the crooked grin she remembered oh, too well, and her insides flipped a somersault.
After Lindsey was sure she’d shown Jack everything of interest in her bedroom, she said, “I’m starving. Can we go now?”
Beth told her to get her coat, and she raced to obey.
Jack nodded to the poster of himself as they left the bedroom. “I’m sure your husband loved that.”
Beth made a face. “That thing annoyed him to no end. He took it down once, but Lindsey wouldn’t speak to him until he put it back up.” She chuckled.
Jack narrowed his eyes at her. “Why did she have it in the first place? I mean, that seems kind of... odd.”
“Her Aunt Tara—remember my sister from the store?—gave it to her. She knew Lindsey was a fan, but I think it was more to bug David.”
Jack’s lips curled. “I take it she and David weren’t best buddies?”
She had to laugh at that. “That’s an understatement. She never liked him and didn’t understand how I could let myself be talked into—” She cut herself off. Jack didn’t need to know her personal business.
Lindsey’s “What’s taking you so long?” from the front room saved Beth from having to explain herself.
***
Lindsey babbled the entire way to Everett, about a thirty-minute drive away, telling Jack all about her baseball team, her school, her friends. The child was an open book. He wondered if all kids were so forthcoming.
Beth didn’t say more than a few words, only speaking when Lindsey asked her a question that needed answering. She spent most of the drive staring out her window, her hands clutched around the purse in her lap.
This had to be very strange for her, too. Neither one of them really knew how to act around the other, or what to expect.
Lindsey’s room had been quite the shock, seeing that life-size poster on her wall. It touched him that Beth had instilled the love of the game in their daughter. Her daughter. She’d said David hadn’t been happy about it. He could believe that. Jack had noticed several Darrow family photos in Lindsey’s room, too. It had dawned on him that other than the wedding photo above the fireplace, he hadn’t noticed any other photos of David in the house. And he’d looked. They were all in Lindsey’s room.
Is that because Lindsey wanted that, or because Beth did? Was it because seeing her late husband’s photos were too hard because she missed him... or because she didn’t? He wondered if all hadn’t been wedded bliss in the Darrow household.
That saddened him. Beth deserved to be happy.
But the mean-spirited, immature, jealous part of him was glad to think David might not have been the love of Beth’s life.
Wait. Jealous?
No. Don’t even think that way, McCauley.
As they arrived at Charlie Cheesie, Jack realized his sporty Audi was an anomaly in the parking lot full of mini vans and SUVs. Clearly, this was a family place. He was not a family man. Jack’s stomach churned. And he, Beth, and Lindsey were not a family.
His skin began to itch and he wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d broken out in hives.
When the three of them entered the restaurant, the sounds of happy children—very loud happy children—having a good time blasted Jack’s ear drums. They had to dodge running and out-of-control kids on their way to the order counter. He felt like he’d stepped into another dimension, one full of pizza parties, toys, scraped knees, and God knows what else.
Blood screamed through his ears. This was a world he’d never expected—or wanted—to enter. A few adults seemed to recognize him and Jack returned their smiles and nods, but everyone was too busy keeping track of their children to pay him much attention, which was good.
Lindsey grabbed his hand. Beth saw the gesture, and frowned. What? Did she want him to yank away his hand? That would be rude and hurt Lindsey’s feelings. Beth would just have to deal with it.
“Jack-Mack, what kind of pizza do you like? My favorite is pepperoni. It used to be sausage but that’s when I was a little kid, when I was only five. Did you like pepperoni when you were a kid? My mommy likes Canadian bacon cuz pepperoni makes her burp.”
“Lindsey!” Beth admonished, her cheeks turning a cute shade of pink.
“Well, then I suggest we get a pepperoni pizza for you, and a Canadian bacon pizza for your mom.” He smiled down at her.
“What pizza are you getting, Jack-Mack?”
It amused him how Lindsey called him Jack-Mack, as if he weren’t a real person, just an image. She seemed to idolize him, which, while good for his ego, made him more than a bit uncomfortable. When you put someone on a pedestal, they were bound to fall off eventually.
“Can I share the pepperoni with you?” he asked.
Lindsey bounced up and down on her toes, her pigtails swinging. “Okay. That means Mommy gets a pizza all to herself.”
“I don’t know if your mommy can eat an entire pizza. I might have to help her.”
Lindsey shook her head. “Nope. She can eat a whole pizza. That’s why she says her jeans are too tight.”
Beth emitted a strangled sound that was a cross between a gasp and a giggle.
Jack couldn’t help chuckling as he looked Beth up and dow
n. “Oh, I don’t know, short stuff. I think your mom looks pretty darn good in her jeans.”
Lindsey flashed him a huge smile. “Me, too.”
Beth’s flush deepened but she didn’t look at him. “What does everyone want to drink?” she asked, her voice sounding unnaturally light.
After ordering, they poured their drinks at the beverage machine, then maneuvered their way through tables of loud families, loud children and crying babies. Beth held her soda in one hand, and the other was wrapped firmly around Lindsey’s shoulders. She was a great mother. He could see it in the way she and Lindsey interacted. She looked like a kid herself with her hair pulled back in that headband. Although she wore just a trace of makeup, she made even the wholesome, natural look sexy.
Just then Beth turned her head to see him watching her. Her smiling face clouded, and something washed over her features.
It was panic. And fear.
She was right to panic and be scared. He wouldn’t want him in his kid’s life either.
They finally found a table. As they waited for the pizza, Lindsey filled the space with conversation. He never knew kids could talk so much and change the subject so quickly, boom, boom, boom. But he found himself asking her a lot of questions, wanting to know everything about her.
“So how come you don’t play for the San Diego Stingrays anymore?” she asked after the pizza arrived at their table. “Did you get fired?”
“Lindsey.” Beth shot him an apologetic look as she dished a slice of pepperoni for Lindsey and one of Canadian bacon for her.
But Jack didn’t mind the question. Lindsey didn’t know any better. “Actually, Lindsey, I have to prove to the team that I’m healthy enough to go back.” He pulled a slice of the pepperoni pizza from the metal tray, and swiped at the long, gooey strings of cheese still connecting his piece to the rest of the pie.
“What does that mean?” Lindsey asked, her eyes wide.
Summer on Main Street Page 87