She tried to keep her snarky comments to herself, even though she was tempted to say something. Her mother, in addition to being mayor of Shadow Creek, was also a realtor. Her priorities had always been work, money, and letting the town know she had plenty of both. “I don’t need large, and I don’t need bells and whistles. I’m not sure I’m buying anything, because I’m leaving in a year and won’t be staying here permanently.”
“Well, still. Buy now and even if you have to sell, I’m sure you’ll clear a tidy profit.”
“I’m staying at the inn because it’s easy and comfortable. If and when I look for a home, I’ll call Julia Donovan.”
Her mother’s perfectly manicured and bejewelled hand flew to her chest. “You’d go with Julia Donovan over me?”
Molly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “I was friends with Julia in high school.”
“I’m your mother.”
“We both know you failed me when I needed you most,” Molly said, backing up a step. She needed to leave. She had way too busy of a day to have her mother and their gruesome history railroad it.
“You have a selective memory. When the going got tough you called me first.”
Molly shut her eyes. When the going got tough. What a callous way of putting what had happened to her. “Goodbye, Mother.”
“Well, just to warn you, because I really do care about you, Ben Matthews is still in town. He’s worked his way up to captain.”
Molly wasn’t surprised. That had always been his dream. “So?”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “Stay away from him so you don’t make a fool of yourself. He’s never forgiven you, and he’s given me the cold shoulder ever since. I’m trying to spare you the humiliation of having him snub you.”
She didn’t know what her mother’s angle was but looking out for her was not it. She didn’t care enough to find out or to get involved in one of her plans. “Goodbye, Mother.” This time her mother didn’t call after her.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she opened the door and drew in a deep gulp of crisp, fall air as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. Luckily, she didn’t even have time to dwell in the anger and hurt because her phone indicated she had a voicemail. She marched down the sidewalk, her phone in one hand and her coffee in the other as she glanced down at her screen to retrieve the message. Then she proceeded to walk into a wall.
The wall had a voice, a deep, very familiar voice. The voice was cursing. “Hell, I heard you were back in town.”
Anxiety gripped her and she dropped her cup of coffee on the sidewalk. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to talk to him. It was too much too soon—first her mother then Ben. She refused to think about the first time she’d spilled coffee on him, because this time things were different. Now he hated her. Back then he’d laughed and flirted, and it had been the beginning of the most amazing time in her life. Now she was filled with shame for the way she’d treated him.
She wasn’t prepared to see him. She knelt down to pick up her cup, trying to get her emotions under control, and then stood, looking way up, past the well-worn jeans that hugged his athletic form, the coffee-stained T-shirt with the SCFD logo on the front that clung to a wide and solid chest, to the face that was even more devastating than in her dreams. She put on her professional serene doctor face and forced a smile, despite the churning in her stomach. “I’m so sorry, Ben. There must have been an uneven piece of sidewalk. Uh, nice to see you.”
His jaw was tight, his eyes hidden behind aviator sunglasses. “Sure.”
She ignored the snub and blurted out the sentiment she should have said in a card or email when she’d heard about his dad passing a few years back. She clutched the shoulder strap on her Kate Spade purse, her sweating hands a pathetic testament to his effect on her still. “I’m sorry about your father… I would have called but…”
His jaw clenched and unclenched a few times, and she didn’t know if he was going to answer. He pulled off his glasses and she felt so tiny, so insignificant, when his opinion of her shone in his eyes, louder and clearer than any words could ever vocalize.
Ben had the perfect family. He’d been raised by good people, and he and his brother had always been inseparable. They had followed in their father’s footsteps and had both become firefighters. She’d heard about his father dying in a building while trying to rescue a child. The child had survived, but he hadn’t.
Molly adored his mother and had spent many summer afternoons chatting with her on their front porch, sipping iced tea while waiting for Ben to come back from work. That had been the best summer of her life. She’d fallen in love for the first and only time, and her future had looked idyllic. She looked away from Ben’s gaze for a moment. She hated thinking of what their opinion of her must be now.
“How are your mother and Finn?” she asked.
His dark eyes clouded over. “My mother is sick.”
Her heart sank. “Oh, Ben, I’m sorry to hear that. Will she be okay?”
He gave a shrug. “We’re not sure.”
She didn’t feel right asking for details. She’d love to visit Marjorie and be supportive, but she didn’t think she’d be welcome after the way she’d treated her son. “Please let her know that if she needs anything…”
He looked like he wanted to make a smart comment, but he just gave her a terse nod.
“I should probably get going. I have a full day ahead,” she said.
“Wouldn’t want to keep you from your priorities,” he said, the bite in his voice hurting as much as predicted.
She forced a smile, determined to keep up the image she’d given him nine years ago. “Thank you. Nice to see you.”
She walked away from him on legs that felt like they weren’t strong enough to carry her away from him again.
…
Ben watched the woman who had once been the most important person in his life walk away from him. He had heard Molly was back in town, but today was the first time he’d actually seen her.
Molly was more beautiful than he remembered. Her blonde hair had been pulled back into a sleek ponytail and her dark skinny jeans and navy sweater had clung to her slender body. Her eyes had been the same Montana sky-blue eyes that held so many secrets. But he didn’t need to find out what they were. He knew enough to stay the hell away from Molly. She’d made a fool of him; she’d broken his heart, and even though it was a lifetime ago, he’d never had a connection with a woman like he’d had with her.
He made his way to the fire station, determined not to let her derail his day. He had too much on his plate with the promotion he wanted and the fact that his mother was in the hospital recovering from surgery.
He rarely had a morning off, and this one was important because he was on his way to sit down with the fire chief and apply for the position of chief when he retired next year. That’s what he needed to be thinking about—not Molly Mayberry. Hell.
He opened the front door of the station a few minutes later, nodding to Carol at reception and taking the stairs two at a time, focused now on what was ahead of him. He needed this. If he didn’t get the promotion, he’d be waiting another decade until the next chief retired.
He stopped outside the chief’s door and gave a knock.
“Come in.”
Ben opened the door and walked into the small office. He always thought about his dad when he walked in here—the room hadn’t changed that much. Just the pictures on the old desk and different mugs. “Morning, Chief.”
“Morning. Have a seat. How’s your mother doing?”
Ben sat down across from his boss, long-time family friend and fire chief, Darren Wade. Both he and his brother were taking turns sitting by her side at the hospital. “She’s holding her own. There’s been a delay in her waking up from surgery, but her doctor says it’s not that abnormal at her age after surgery. Not out of the woods yet, but she’s tough. We’re very hopeful.”
Darren nodded, the already deep creases in his forehead becoming even more
pronounced. “I uh,” he coughed, “was hoping to go by the hospital to visit. I wasn’t sure she’d be up for the company though.”
Ben shrugged. “You’re like family, sir. I’m sure she’d appreciate the visit. Those flowers you had delivered are her favorite. It’ll be a nice surprise for her when she wakes up.”
Something flickered across the chief’s green eyes, but he couldn’t make it out. “Okay. Thanks, son.” Darren shuffled a stack of papers around and then linked his hands in front of him and stared at him intently.
Ben shifted in his seated and waited. When Darren didn’t say anything for another few seconds, his gut told him it wasn’t going to be the news he was expecting. “I know you want the job of fire chief when I retire in the spring. I’ve got you and Dan both applying for the position.”
Ben sat up straighter, maintaining eye contact with the man he’d grown to admire as a person and as a leader. “You know I’m made for this, Chief.”
“I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, Ben. I know you’ll make a great fire chief. One day. But not now. You’re not ready.”
Ben grit his teeth and fought to control his temper and not say how wrong he thought he was. He needed to be calm and rational. He sat up straighter and loosely gripped the worn wood handles of the chair across the chief’s messy desk. “Can you tell me why?”
Darren leaned forward, his faded green eyes holding a hint of compassion, but a whole lot more of determination. “Because you’re too young and too reckless. You’re a hothead.”
Ben gripped the arm chair tighter. “I would never put my team in jeopardy.”
“You lead by example, you know that. Your father was chief here for twenty years, and you know he was my best friend. You and your brother are like family to me. Your mother is recovering from surgery. I bet Marjorie would throttle me if she even knew I was considering giving this position to her oldest son.”
All true. But still. His mother understood him; she knew that this was his dream. This was what he’d always wanted. His father had been the best man and firefighter he had ever met. He knew this was his only chance to make his case before Darren made his final decision. “You know I’ve proven myself as a leader. I’ve been captain for three years. I’m the only candidate who has their masters and command-level leadership training.”
“It wasn’t a waste. You have many years ahead of you. Your father always believed a family man was best for this job,” Darren said, leaning his large frame back in his chair.
Ben looked passed him slightly, through the slats of the dusty vinyl blinds, and onto the familiar streetscape of Shadow Creek, Montana. This had always been his home. The town, the fire station, the people.
“Well, being a family man didn’t really do my dad very much in the end, did it?”
Darren stood abruptly, showing his strength, his power, even though the man was approaching seventy. “I think we’re done here, Ben. We don’t want to go down this road. Your father was the best damn firefighter I’ve ever worked with.”
“I know. You know this is in my blood. You know I’m the perfect candidate for the job, sir.”
Darren swore under his breath and then rifled through a stack of papers he had on his desk. Dread filled the pit of Ben’s stomach, as he had a suspicion of what the chief was looking for. Maybe he should walk out of the office now. Darren made a noise and then unfolded and slapped a copy of the Shadow Creek community newspaper down on his desk. Ben didn’t need to see the front page, because he knew he’d find his face there. “You walked into a burning building without any gear on,” Darren said, his voice shaking with rage.
Ben stood so that they’d be at eye level. “This is old news. This was over a month ago. We’ve been through this before. I was off-duty. I was acting as a civilian. A good Samaritan. I was in the bar beside the building. The trucks hadn’t arrived yet, and I knew it would be a while because they were on the edge of town for that collision. What would you have done?” He didn’t say anything. Ben knew that article had made him out to be a hero; it was what anyone would have done. Civilians were going in, trying to help, trying to see that the building was clear. The mother had been screaming outside that her two-year-old daughter was still inside. He was the most qualified. He had known in his gut that the kid trapped inside would have died by the time the trucks arrived. He had gone in four times and had to retreat three times because the smoke had been so heavy.
“It doesn’t matter. We’re talking about you.”
“There was a kid in there, sir.” Kids were his weak spot. He would have gone in anyway, but knowing there was a girl trapped in that building had pushed him to take the risk. He could still hear the mother screaming that her baby was inside, he could still smell the smoke, still feel the little girl’s weight as he held her, unconscious in his arms. There was a point where he’d thought he’d fail, that he’d have to abandon the building. Smoke had drawn him to the back hall, where he’d thrown up until his lungs had refilled with clean air. He’d finally found her hidden in a closet. She hadn’t been breathing. When he’d reached the outside, relief had flooded him as the paramedics started rushing to the scene. He’d had nightmares for two nights after that, not that he’d ever admit it. When he’d gone to visit the little girl and her parents at the hospital, he’d been happy to see them all doing so well. The nightmares had stopped.
“You’re a damn fine firefighter and you’re a good man. Your father would be so damn proud of you, Ben, but you’re not ready. I can’t do that to your mother,” he said, his eyes with a suspicious sheen in them.
Ben cleared his throat. “My mother is tough—she knows this is what I’ve always wanted.”
“I need a sensible, family-man kind of a chief.”
Family man. He had always wanted a wife and kids. There just hadn’t been anyone he could see himself settling down with and raising a family. “So you’re saying if I was married, I’d be your man for the job.”
Darren placed his palms facedown on the desk and leaned forward. “I’m saying you might not make such rash decisions if you had a family at home to think twice about. You need to mature. Prove to me and your mother that you think more with your head than your heart. Prove it to me.”
Ben stilled. “My mother?”
Darren sat up a little straighter, and Ben could have sworn his cheeks looked slightly red. “I just mean that I know how much your mother must worry about you and your brother.”
He really didn’t want to think about Darren having some kind of feelings for his mother. Not that he’d mind… He didn’t need to go there right now. He had enough of his own problems. He made a mental note to ask his brother later. “So, I should get married?”
“Get a life beyond this damn job. By caring enough about your life because you have a wife and kids to get home to at night. I haven’t seen you with the same woman more than once, and not outside a bar.”
Ben averted his intense stare. All true. But not because he wasn’t looking for marriage, he just hadn’t found the one. This job was his life. Sure, at one time he’d been a sap, he’d fallen in love with a girl he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with. He thought he’d raise a family, that he’d make a great father. That was all in the past. He’d learned a helluva lot since Molly Mayberry had walked out on him without warning. Ben looked back at Darren and cleared his throat. “Well, I haven’t said anything, but I’m seeing someone.”
Darren crossed his arms in front of his wide chest. “Really.”
Ben shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well…”
“That’s what I thought. You haven’t even brought a woman to the damn fair.”
He didn’t like anyone encroaching on his personal life. The short-lived relationships he had did not involve feelings or any personal details. “I’ll be bringing my…significant other to the county fair and Twilight Dance.”
Hell. He was a liar now.
The chief’s lips twitched. “Significant other?”
Ben shrugged. “I gotta get going to the hospital. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You do that. Say ‘hi’ to your significant other for me,” he said, his deep voice shaking with suppressed laughter.
“I will. You’ll meet her at the dance,” Ben said, ignoring the chief’s laughter. He needed to get the hell out of here before he said something he’d regret later. He walked past the kitchen, the clanking of pots and the voices of his peers floating through the corridor. He needed a decent coffee, and more than that, he needed a bloody plan. He knew his brother would be at the hospital, so while they were sitting there waiting for their mother to wake up, they could hash something out.
He’d worked his ass off with the goal of becoming fire chief. When his father died, he’d promised himself to carry on his legacy. He wasn’t going to let a small detail like marriage get in the way of his goal.
He had one month to find a fiancée.
Chapter Two
Ben handed his brother a coffee in their mother’s small hospital room. The white walls seemed extra depressing this morning, and the room was dim, the blinds closed. There were flowers from him and Finn, Darren, and her posse of friends, which masked a bit of the sterile hospital smell.
“What, you can’t drink coffee and walk?” Finn asked, pointing to his shirt.
He refused to answer him as he settled into one of the uncomfortable chairs beside Finn. He also refused to think about the first time Molly had spilled coffee all over him. It had been love at first sight for him. God, what a moron he’d been when he was young.
He stared at their mother instead of looking at Finn, the sounds of the bustling ward floating through the open door. The automatic doors whooshed open every few minutes or so, a gurney would go by, and the varied voices floated in from a different corridor. Hell, he hated hospitals. Sure, he’d been in and out of the ER and sometimes he’d visit people he’d helped, but he still hated them. He never failed to think of the night they’d lost his father.
He focused his eyes on the IV bag that was dripping fluids and the plastic cup with straw that sat on the tray table along with a stack of Get Well Soon cards. Their mother looked the same as yesterday—pale, tired, but at least peaceful. “Has the doctor been by yet this morning?” he asked his younger brother. “Do they know if the tumor was benign?”
The Firefighter's Pretend Fiancee (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 2