by Jillian Dodd
"All this is our first date."
"Admit it," Tory says, clinking my champagne flute with hers and bringing me back to the present. "You've still got a thing for him."
"Don't be silly. It was a long time ago."
"Based on the way you were eye-fucking the shit out of him, I'd say time doesn't matter."
"I was not! I shouldn't be here. It's all my fault Cade and I broke up. I should have apologized to him a long time ago."
"Maybe you should do that tonight. In the meantime, I've got my eye on groomsman number three. Do you know who he is?"
"Friend of the groom," I say with a sly smile.
"Yes, that was in the wedding program. Which is slightly bothersome as it probably means they went to college together, and I'm going to have to go cougar. Again. Don't care, though. He's hot. And I didn't see a ring. Come on, let's do a drive by."
"A drive by?"
"Yes, we're casually going to walk to that bar over there, and on the way, if he's as cute up close and doesn't seem like too much of a douche, we will ask him to join us for a shot in honor of the bride and groom."
"Um, no, we're not. Cade is standing right there next to him."
She grabs my arm and pulls me anyway.
Thankfully, Cash and Ashlyn arrive at the bar when we do, so instead of having to make eye contact with Cade, I'm able to congratulate the happy couple.
"I think this calls for shots!" Tory yells out.
Groomsman number three agrees. "How about some Fireball?"
"Go with tequila," Cade says. "Palmer is allergic to cinnamon."
Surprised he remembers, my gaze flickers toward his gorgeous blue eyes. When he meets my stare, I turn away. I have to stop looking at him. It's like I'm stuck in one of those bad dreams where something is just outside your reach. In this case, I'm standing on opposite sides of a glass door, staring at the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, but every time I try to open the door to be with him, I find the door is locked. Which is fitting. The door to Cade and me together is permanently locked, and I'm sure he purposely threw away the key. Actually, he probably torched the key and melted it down to nothing, so it could never, ever be used to unlock that door again.
And I deserve that.
The group gathers around the bar, minus Cash and Ashlyn, who move on to greet more guests.
"I'm Tory," she says, holding her hand out to groomsman number three. "If we're going to do shots together, we need to know each other's names."
"This seems like a no-names kind of night," he laughs. "In honor of the bride and groom."
"I don't get it," Tory says.
"Haven't you heard the story or seen the video of how Cash and Ashlyn met?"
"I saw the video from The Elle Show of how he proposed," Tory admits, but then she lies. "But I don't really know the whole backstory. I'm the plus one."
The groomsman glances at Tory's perky boob job, which is prominently on display in her low-cut, bronze cocktail dress, and apparently he decides she's worth telling the story to.
"It just so happens," he says, "that the bride and groom met at a wedding, just like we are now. They got drunk, hooked up, flew to Vegas, and got married. They didn't tell each other their real names."
"How could Cash not have known who Ashlyn Roberts is?" Tory inquires. "She's pretty famous."
I'm trying very hard to pretend to be enthralled with their conversation, but I can feel Cade's eyes on me.
"He knew who she was, but she didn't know who he was," the groomsman continues.
"But his brother, Cade, is her agent. Cash looks like him." Tory is playing dumb to keep the guy talking. She totally knows this entire story.
The groomsman waves his hand. "Doesn't matter. They figured it out, and now we are here at their wedding." He passes around the shots and says, "To a no-names kind of night."
We clink our glasses together then down the shots. The groomsman passes me a lime wedge, but I shake my head, causing him to pull me aside.
"My name's Jared," he says with a cocky smirk.
"I thought this was supposed to be a no-names night?" I reply, giving him shit, even though I have no interest in him.
"It is. But for you, I'll make an exception. You need to know what name to say when I make you scream later."
Cade comes up from behind Jared, clamping his big hand down on Jared's skinny shoulder.
Jared glances back at Cade. They share some kind of a look that causes Jared to immediately ditch me. He saunters over to Tory and throws his arm around her, which earns him a hint of a smile from Cade.
"So does this mean you're not married?" Tory asks Jared.
"Nope, I'm single as a Pringle," he replies.
I expect Cade to say something to me, but instead he turns away.
I'm not sure what just happened, but I think it was some guy-code thing.
And it pisses me off.
Tory sees the rage on my face, takes my hand, and drags me off to the bathroom.
"What's wrong?"
"Did you see that!?" I rant, as we step inside the ladies' room, finding a long line. "Cade cock blocked me! Not that I wanted that guy's cock, because you already called dibs on it, but Cade didn't know that!"
"Since you don't have a cock," she replies. "I think it's called blocking the box."
"Oh, no," the girl in front of us says. "It's called twat blocking."
"I thought it was boxed," another woman says.
"Baseball players call cock blocking stealing signs."
A voice from inside one of the stalls yells out, "It's called clam jamming."
Pretty soon everyone in the bathroom is giving us their opinions.
"Twat swatting or twat stopping."
"Beaver dammed."
"Va-jected!"
I shake my head at Tory. "Whatever. It really shouldn't matter what part you have. I got cock blocked because I will be having no cock tonight."
"There's still time," Tory says. "You can have the groomsman. You need to get laid worse than I do, honey. It's been far too long."
"But why would he cock block me and then walk away?!"
As soon as the words tumble out of my mouth, Cade's mother steps out of one of the stalls.
I put my head down, hoping she won't notice me and, thankfully, she squeezes past us without saying a word.
"Holy buckets," Tory says when the door closes behind her. "Wasn't that his mother?"
"Uh, yeah. You can kill me now."
By the time we get back from the ladies' room, everyone is being seated for dinner in the elaborately decorated ballroom. We find our table assignment then discover we're seated next to Jared--who probably switched our cards--along with a group of he and Cash's rowdy fraternity brothers.
The dinner conversation is bawdy and fun. The toast Carter gives is heartfelt and funny. Dinner is four courses of deliciousness. Then we watch as the happy couple shares their first dance and then as they cut the cake.
Tory and I immediately head straight for the cake while the boys opt for the bar, promising to bring us back more shots.
"Tell me why you broke up," Tory says. She wasn't my assistant back then, and I've never told her. It's not something I like to talk about, and I usually avoid the subject.
But tonight I comply.
Must be the shots.
"I got my first big break in a starring role. The contract had a nudity clause. I said yes. Cade said no. We fought about it. Broke up. End of story."
"That's not the end of the story," Tory says, putting a forkful of cake in her mouth. "I see the way you look at him."
"If I had a shrink, he'd probably tell me I'm standing in the way of my own happiness. That I need to let go of the guilt I feel about it. It's just that when we broke up--even though I was the one who did the breaking--it destroyed me. I hated myself. Hated him. But, mostly, I hated my heart. I think I'm still grieving. I've dated since then but never had more than a casual relationship. And it doesn't help that he's an ag
ent. That he's hot. That we seem to end up at a lot of the same events and parties. It's like a constant reminder of my idiocy."
"Take a bite of cake," she says. "It's divine. Remind me again--when was the last time you ended up at an event together. The time before Fashion Week." I roll my eyes. She knows the answer to her question. Probably wrote it on my calendar. She grins at me then snaps her finger like she just remembered. "Oh, I know. We both saw him at that charity 10K. He ran, right?"
"Yeah," I say flatly. "He and Carter ran in it together."
"Those boys shirtless. Jogging. It was better than a Chippendales show. Remember the way all those women were gawking at their muscles? You'd think they had their dollar bills ready."
"If I recall, you were the one taking photos of their abs from afar."
She giggles. "Those Crawford boys are scrumptious. I'd like to take a bite out of--"
"Tory!"
"I'm just saying. Hard to believe no one has snagged them yet."
"Well, one did. Ashlyn. Thus, the wedding..."
"Whatever, all I know is we are going out for the bouquet toss."
"You can take part in that craziness," I tell her. "I'm not. That's the last thing I want to do."
"Oh, yes you are. Even if I have to drag your ass out there."
"You can drag me, but I'm not even going to attempt to catch it. I shouldn't even be here. This is ridiculous. I brought a gift. Made an appearance. Let's go."
"We're not going anywhere. One of us is getting laid tonight. And if you don't want Jared, I'll take him for myself. I'm pretty sure he wants to get naughty, and I think mama can teach that boy a thing or two."
Tory glances behind me and grins.
I turn to see what she's looking at, expecting to see a hot guy, but instead finding Cade's mother approaching us. I look for a way to escape, but I can't find one.
"Palmer, it's so good to see you," she says, giving me a warm embrace.
"Thank you, Mrs. Crawford."
"It's been too long since we've seen both you and that handsome brother of yours. We've had to resort to watching your movies and seeing Pike play baseball on TV. It's just not the same."
"I've just been--" I glance at Cade, whose eyes I can feel from across the room. "Um--"
"Busy?" she asks.
"Yes, work has kept me busy." I shove cake in my mouth, hoping she won't say anything else.
"Just because you fired Cade as your agent, doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Our families were friends for years. I'm glad you're here, dear. Who did you bring with you? Are you dating anyone?"
"Uh, no," I fumble over my words. Mostly because Cade just winked at me. It's an old habit--something he did even before we dated--when I was starting out in the movie industry. When people thought I was just an airhead model. It used to give me confidence. Now, it simply unravels me. "I brought my, uh, my friend--"
"I'm Tory," Tory finally says, extending her hand. "Palmer's assistant. Delighted to meet you."
"Very nice to meet you, too, Tory. Oh, look. They're getting ready to do the garter and bouquet toss." She pushes both Tory and I out onto the dance floor. "Go on. It's a silly tradition, but everyone can use a little luck in the dating scene these days--what with Tinder and all those hooking up apps. It's no wonder a man doesn't want to marry."
Tory and I end up in a group of single women.
"Guess we're both going out to catch the bouquet," Tory quips.
Cash leads Ashlyn out to the center of the dance floor where she sits in a chair. Cash drops to his knees and starts digging through the fluffy layers of Ashlyn's ball gown. When he finds the garter, he gives her a naughty smirk--one that looks exactly like Cade's--leans down and sexily pulls it off with his teeth.
The frat boys all go nuts, cheering and whistling.
Cash shoots the garter up into the air, and I watch as it literally drops into Cade's hands. Like, he didn't even try to catch it.
"Shit. Now I have to catch the bouquet," I mutter.
"If catching it means I get that ridiculously handsome man for myself," Tory says, "I'll fight you for it. I'd cut a bitch for a piece of that."
"You can't go against me, Tory! Besides, look at all the women eyeing him now. And that one--" I point, "--she's giving him flirty eyes. She needs to stop that!"
Tory pushes me into the center of the dance floor as Ashlyn takes her place, turns her back toward us, and tosses the bouquet high into the air.
I'm tall, and my brother used to make me play catch with him in the backyard. Screw Miss Bedroom Eyes, he's mine.
I jump up, stretching my body out like I'm going up for a pop fly to center field.
A flower hits my hand, I grasp it with all my might, and come down with it.
"Woot!" Tory yells, cheering me on. The rest of the girls let out a collective sigh, scowl at me, and then disperse.
The wedding photographer grabs me by the arm. "We need a photo of you with the guy who caught the garter." She drags me over toward Cade, telling him the same and pushing us together.
"That was quite the leap," Cade says to me.
"You didn't even try. The garter pretty much fell into your hands."
"You know what this means, right?" the photographer asks. "You two will be the next to get married."
I look into Cade's beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that haunt my soul. Eyes that invade my dreams. Eyes I thought would be my future.
"I wouldn't bet on that, Delilah," Cade replies to the photographer. And I swear, he's flirting with her. Is he hitting on her in front of me? After he just cock blocked me? What the fuck?
"Cade is a perennial bachelor," I say, wanting to wipe that smile off her face. "No woman will ever tie him down."
Cade puts his hand across the small of my back and leans in toward me, his touch causing me to jump.
"One woman did, once," he whispers, going a step further and pulling me completely into his arms.
Goosebumps instantly form, even though I feel quite flush.
"Are you cold?" he asks, sliding his hands up and down my arms to warm me.
"Yeah, ocean breeze, I guess." A stupid thing to say since we are inside a ballroom.
"Okay," the photographer says. "Smile and say, I'm getting married soon!"
Cade reaches out and brushes his finger down my cheek. "You just have a little frosting--"
I gulp when he touches me.
Neither of us is paying any attention to the photographer. We're just gazing at each other, our eyes locked, conveying words we don't dare to speak. I haven't been in his arms in years, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Like our breakup never happened. He glances at my lips, causing me to lick them and tilt my head upward in anticipation of his kiss.
"I need you to look at me," the photographer growls, snatching away our brief but beautiful moment.
Cade and I turn toward the camera and smile.
She clicks and leaves.
"You winked at me--from across the room," I stutter.
"Old habit, sorry," he states. "Nice to see you, Palmer, and good luck with the bouquet."
October 16th Pike
"Hey, Peaches," I say, using the nickname I've called my little sister since she was a kid.
"Hey, Pike! Are you on your way to Texas? Can I come to the game?"
"You came to the playoffs two years ago, and we didn't make it to the big game. I want you to wait and come when I pitch in the first game of the World Series. It's my year. I can feel it."
"I'm so happy for you, Pike. It was hard on all of us when L.A. traded you to Tampa."
"To have them practically blame me for losing the playoffs after playing there for most of my career was a blow. But Tampa took a shot on me even knowing I needed shoulder surgery. We have a great team. Seriously, sis, I feel good about our chances. So put Tuesday, October the twenty-eighth on your calendar."
"Is your shoulder really holding up?"
"It is. I know I'm getting old for a pitc
her, but at thirty-four, I'm in the best shape of my life. And for the first time in years I'm not in pain with every pitch."
"And how are things with Britney?"
"It's Bethany. And she's pushing to get married."
"And you're resisting as usual?"
"I'm not convinced I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Speaking of that, do you ever see Cameron?"
"She was in Milan for Fashion Week. We had lunch."
"How is she?"
"Maybe you should call her and ask her that yourself."
"Did she ask about me?"
"Pike, you dated her off and on for almost a decade. Every time she stops dating someone, the tabloids wonder if the two of you will get back together. Of course she asked about you."
"And?"
"We just talked about life and love, fashion, and the movie industry. She's close to wrapping up the movie she's working on and then she's taking a few months off--going to her place in Hawaii to just surf and chill."
"Is she seeing anyone?"
"If that's what you really wanted to know, why didn't you just ask me that in the first place?"
"Just answer the question," I say.
"No, she's not. Not seriously, anyway. She says lately she's had a string of bad dates, and she's given up. But she said it in that way she does. She's so animated and funny. We laughed all through lunch."
"She always made me laugh, too."
"Maybe you should call her and catch up."
"I gotta get through this season, first. Then, maybe. But I have to be honest. I like living in Florida. It's quiet and people respect my privacy--as opposed to when I was in L.A. where the tours buses drove by my house. Maybe I'll settle down and buy a place on the Gulf."
"Settle down--like retire?"
"Not for a few more years."
"You and Cade always joked that when you made the big leagues you were going to share a house like the Playboy Mansion." She laughs. My sister has a beautiful laugh. One that always makes me feel happy. But hearing Cade's name immediately pisses me off.
"Asshole," I say.
"I saw him a few days ago. Ashlyn Roberts married his brother, Cash. I went to the wedding."
"Carter told me about that. I see him quite a bit. He's the agent for a kid on my team. I actually called him for advice on my last contract. I felt like Jimmy had been my agent for so long that he was just phoning it in."
"I danced with Carter at the wedding."
"How is their family?
"They're doing well."