All or None

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All or None Page 6

by Tara Sue Me


  But she hesitated.

  You intrigue me.

  In that moment, the truth hit her. He intrigued her as well.

  And, she told herself, that didn’t have to mean anything. It could be exactly what it was without pretense or explanation.

  This wasn’t forever. Not even close. It was just dinner with a man she’d admitted to herself on several occasions that she was attracted to. A man who admitted that he was attracted to her. Simple attraction. That their sexual needs were similar was secondary.

  She ripped up the train tracks on that thought process very quickly. Sex wasn’t on the menu here. It wasn’t even severed in the restaurant. She hadn’t had sex since the divorce, and she didn’t envision Eric being the one to end her dry spell.

  But he could, her body whined. If she let him. If she gave the slightest hint of interest, there was no doubt he’d jump at the chance to reintroduce and reeducate her on carnal pleasure. Her belly tightened at the thought. Of having sex again or having sex with Eric? She didn’t take the time to determine the answer.

  Ty would no doubt hate the idea of her going to dinner with Eric, and would pitch high holy hell when she told him, but that wasn’t her fault. His reactions weren’t her problem or concern.

  “Looks like a lot of thought going into the answer for a simple question,” Eric said, but Lillian didn’t answer. “Lillian, listen, if you’re not attracted to me or if you don’t want to go out and spend time with me, just say so, and I’ll never bother you again. And I promise, I can take it, and not be a jerk about it. But I want to know more about you, and maybe I’m being prideful, but I think you want to spend time and perhaps get to know me as well.”

  She could take his word to the bank. She knew that much about him. If she told him she wasn’t interested in him at all, he’d nod, tell her goodbye and that would be the end of it.

  It would be so easy to tell him no. One breath and it’d be done. One breath.

  But she didn’t want to tell him no. She wanted to get to know him better, and God help her, she might even be willing to go as far as exploring their similar interests together.

  “Dinner would be lovely,” she said. “When were you thinking?”

  Erics’s face lit up in excitement. “I was thinking tomorrow night, if that would work for you?”

  “Tomorrow night would be perfect.”

  Chapter 11

  Lillian

  At the job site the next day, everything on the surface appeared to be the same. But one didn’t have to look hard to see the undercurrent churning and its ability to change everything. Lillian didn’t have to look for it, she was living it.

  Ty had still been in a pissy mood that morning, and she’d done her best to ignore him. She’d given serious thought to riding the van, but decided that would be childish. He was a grown man, and he’d just have to find a way to deal with the fact that she wasn’t his anymore. He’d had plenty of time in London, she couldn’t figure out why it seemed like such an issue now. She didn’t think for a minute he’d been celibate the entire time he was overseas.

  So it was a tension filled day. At least to her, anyway. It wasn’t as bad when they were working. That was enough to keep her mind occupied and off of the two men. But whenever there was a break and during lunch, she felt both sets of eyes on her. She was thankful Eric ate with some of the other guys and didn’t ask to sit with her again.

  Part of the reason he did so might have been because Lillian started up a conversation with Penny, one half of the retired couple, as soon as lunch was announced and ended up sitting next to her and her husband.

  Ty was quite on the way back to the resort after they called it a day, which wasn't like him at all. Lillian breathed a sigh of relief when, after parking the car, he said he’d planned to talk with one of the college grads about employment opportunities overseas. She’d hadn’t been looking forward to getting ready for a date with him in the cabin, scowling the entire time.

  Shake it off, she told herself. It was his choice to follow her here; she hadn’t forced him to come. It wasn’t her responsibility to keep him entertained, and for damn sure she would not change the way she lived her own life for fear of upsetting him.

  * * *

  At six-thirty on the dot, Eric knocked on the cabin’s door. Lillian took one last look at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She’d have to do. In a moment of ridiculousness while packing, she’d thrown a casual sundress - from the back of her closet, aka a brightly colored one - in her bag. She didn’t think she’d have the opportunity to wear it, but you never knew, and it was always a good idea to be prepared. Of course, her preparations hadn’t extended far enough to makeup, which meant all she had with her was loose powder and a few tubes of lipstick.

  Eric’s gaze took her in when she opened the door. “You look incredible,” he said.

  She felt her cheeks heat. How long had it been since a man complimented her on the way she looked? So long she couldn’t remember. “You don’t look half bad yourself.”

  And he didn’t. His hair was still a little damp from his recent shower, and he’d changed from the blue jeans and SPF shirt he wore at the job site into a crisp pair of tan shorts and a blue collared shirt matching the color of his eyes.

  “How does seafood sound?” he asked once he’d helped her into the truck he’d rented, and they were on the main road.

  “Sounds divine,” she replied, and her stomach growled in response. “I haven’t had any seafood since I got here.”

  “We can’t have that. There's this little out of the way place I know of, and you’ll love it.”

  “I know nothing about the area. I’m in your hands.” As soon as the phrase was out of her mouth, she realized how it sounded. “I mean….” Damn her stupid mouth.

  Eric didn’t turn to look at her, but she saw his smile. “Not totally,” he said. “Not yet anyway.”

  She waited for a twinge of arousal to warm her body, but nothing of the sort happened. Instead of dwelling on why, she chalked it up to the after effects of two days spent laboring in the sun. Surely, she’d react differently when she was more rested. Though that didn’t explain why she didn’t feel tired at the moment.

  If Ty had said something similar to her, would her body react differently? Would the same words spoken in his voice have the power to arouse her? She wanted the answer to be a resounding no, but in her mind, she heard Ty say, 'Not yet anyway,' in that seductive Dom voice of his. The resulting shiver down her back showed something different.

  But, she tried to convince herself, it was only different in that she knew Ty better and had been intimate with him. It was the familiarity of Ty that made her body react. Nothing else. Even in her head it sounded like an illogical argument and made no sense at all, but that was what she was going with for now.

  Not long after, Eric pulled up to a building that looked almost like the widow’s house they were working on. Not quite as bad, but enough to make her question if it was open. And she would have asked Eric if there hadn’t been so many cars parked outside. So many they suggested there was something of interest going on inside.

  He didn’t miss her raised eyebrow when he walked around to her side of the truck to help her down. “You’re in my hands, remember?” he whispered. “Trust me.”

  The inside of the restaurant surprised her. Though crowed, it was clean and neat. The decadent aroma from the kitchen had her tastebuds doing cartwheels.

  “It’s a seat yourself kind of place,” Eric said, leading her to a corner table a busboy just finished cleaning. “Is this okay?”

  The food smelled so good, and she was so hungry, she’d eat standing up if she had to. But all she said in response was, “This is perfect.”

  “I try to eat here at least once whenever I’m down this way.” Eric opened his menu. “You really can’t go wrong with anything here. It’s all good.”

  A memory popped into her head at his words. She was with Ty in Amsterdam, sometime sh
ortly after college graduation. Ty searched the city looking for patatje oorlog, a popular food an international student had mentioned he should try. “He said all the food was good, but the patatje oorlog was the best.”

  As it turned out, the dish in question consisted of French fries covered in ketchup, mayo, chopped raw onions, and peanut sauce. She’d thought it might be edible up until she heard about the peanut sauce. At that point, she informed Ty that he could eat all he wanted, she was going to pass, and he would have to brush his teeth before kissing her.

  She forced the memory out of her head. Ty wasn’t here, and they weren’t together. Across the table, Eric was still looking over his menu. Hopefully, her journey back in time had been unnoticed.

  “What’s your favorite here?” she asked.

  Eric placed his menu down. When he looked at her the way he was now, it was as if there was nothing in the world more important than the discussion they were having. “Without question, the crab stuffed snapper. They don’t use any breadcrumbs for the stuffing, it’s mostly fresh crabmeat.”

  Lillian smiled and closed her menu. “You had me at crab stuffed.”

  “An excellent selection,” he said, amusement clear in both his voice and eyes.

  “Have you ever had she-crab soup from Charleston?”

  “No,” he said. “But I’ve always wondered why only the female crabs for soup? Do the males taste bad? And how can you be sure they didn’t sneak a he crab in your soup?”

  The question was both so unexpected and ridiculous, she sat stunned for the beat of a few seconds before giggling and saying, “I have no idea.”

  The server appeared to take their orders. Lillian went with the snapper and wasn’t surprised when Eric did the same.

  “Tom said you’re an architect,” Lillian said when they were alone again. “I don’t think I’ve ever known an architect before.”

  “No matter how many times I tell him, he always leaves part of if off,” Eric said with a grin. “It’s not that he was totally wrong, but he wasn’t totally right, either. I’m a remote solution architect. Not the type of architect most people have in mind. Basically, I work with code as opposed to blueprints.”

  “I see,” she said. “You’re one of those smart computer people. I’m always amazed at how much I don’t know about information technology.” It was the only thing she could think of to say other than never in one trillion years would she have pegged him as a computer guru.

  “I don’t know how smart I am, but I seem to do all right.”

  She had a feeling he was doing more than a little all right, but she didn’t say it out loud. “Where do you live in real life?” she asked instead. “When you’re not off repairing the homes of widows and fatherless children, that is.”

  It was a reasonable question. After all, she had first met him at The Club, and, as far as she knew, they didn’t offer membership to many people who lived out of state.

  “I have an apartment in Tribeca,” he said, and that confirmed her assumption he was doing better than all right.

  He lifted an eyebrow. “I assume, based on our first meeting, you live around the same area?”

  “Yes,” she answered, right as they delivered the snapper to their table.

  Whatever conversation they were having stopped while they took the first bite of their fish. Both the fish and crab were deliciously fresh, and while she couldn’t place the spice used to season everything with, she knew she’d never forget its taste.

  “Oh, my God,” Lillian said, after her initial taste. “That might be one of the best dishes I’ve ever had.”

  Eric chuckled at her expression. “Right?”

  She took another bite and closed her eyes in bliss. “I’ll never doubt you again.”

  “Be careful,” he said. “I might hold you to those words.”

  She needed to watch herself around Eric. Something told her if she opened the door for him just a smidgen, in less time than it took to snap her fingers, he’d have her convinced to throw it wide open. Having done that once with Ty, she wasn’t in a hurry to repeat the experience.

  And, she further lectured herself, never for one minute could she forget Eric was a Dom. Because when it came right down to it, it wouldn’t be his intellect, his apartment, or that he was an undeniably attractive man who spent his vacation helping those less fortunate that would draw her to him. Oh no. It’d be the Dom part of him she’d find irresistible.

  That deep secret need he held in check so well, no one would ever discover it unless he revealed it to them. She knew about it, but only by happenstance. If she hadn’t gone to The Club that night, if she hadn’t met Eric until her arrival in Florida, would they still be sitting here tonight? When would he choose to mention his need to dominate? He would, wouldn’t he?

  Having no experience in the BDMS dating scene, she wasn’t sure how things typically went. Maybe Eric wouldn’t have asked her to dinner if they hadn’t met in a place that laid bare their mutual interest.

  “Are you okay?” Eric asked.

  She kicked herself for getting lost in her thoughts again. “Yes, of course.”

  “Sorry to imply you looked anything other than stunning, but you appeared a bit quizzical there for a second. Or your expression gave that impression.”

  “No, it’s fine,” she assured him, playing with the napkin in her lap. Might as well tell the truth from the beginning. For one, if she told the truth, she wouldn’t have to remember any lies. Secondly, he was a Dom, and would find the truth out eventually, anyway. Best to start with it from the beginning. “I’m not offended. It’s only this whole dating thing is new to me.”

  He looked surprised with her answer. “I thought your divorce was finalized some time ago?”

  “It was,” she confirmed. “I haven’t been very active in the dating scene.” She felt her cheeks heat. “Actually, it’s more like I haven’t been active at all.”

  His eyes grew so wide she feared they might pop out of his head. “You haven’t dated since the divorce?”

  Why did it sound so much worse when he said it as opposed to how it sounded in her head? “Until a few weeks ago,” she said, hating she felt the need to justify her nonexistent dating record. “I worked as a personal assistant, and since my boss was a workaholic, I had little down time. When I had it, all I wanted to do was curl up with a book or sleep.”

  “Don’t feel as if you need to explain anything.” He reached across the table and brushed her hand with his fingertips. “But thank you for not turning me down.”

  His touch was soft and his words sincere. She found no fault in him, other than he wasn’t who she wanted.

  Chapter 12

  Ty

  Ty paced to the front window of the cabin, peeked out, and paced back to the opposite wall. Lillian had left with Eric a little over an hour ago, and though it was too early for them to have returned, he couldn’t stop himself from looking out to check every damn time he passed the window. He hadn’t stepped a foot inside the cabin until he was certain the couple had left. Instead, he’d made himself busy, chatting with a few other of the volunteers and grabbing a leftover sandwich from lunch for his dinner.

  The wrapped ham and cheese sat untouched on the small table in the cabin’s living area. He couldn’t bring himself to eat at the moment. Not while Lillian was out on a fucking date. With a Dom, no less. Ty took a deep breath, paced back to the widow, lifting the curtain again, just to be sure.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket and he let the curtain fall back into place. He didn’t want to talk with anyone, but on the off chance it was important, he pulled the phone out to check the display.

  Isaac.

  About damn time.

  “Isaac,” TY answered with. “What do you have for me?”

  The guy he’d known for what felt like forever gave a half snort, half chuckle. “And a hello and good evening to you was well.”

  “Whatever.” Ty was not in a mood to deal with Isaac being a sm
artass.

  “I can tell you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

  “Shows what you know,” Ty said. “I didn’t even sleep in a bed last night, and I don’t think it’s possible to wake up on the wrong side of the floor.”

  Isaac laughed on the other end of the line. “She put you on the floor? Classic Lillian.”

  Much as he liked Isaac, and as close as they were, Ty didn’t want to discuss her with him. Partly because his friend knew more about the last few years of Lilian’s life than Ty did. A fact that didn’t sit too well with him at the moment.

  “I couldn’t blame her,” Ty finally replied. “I’m thankful she’s letting me sleep on her floor. She’d have been well within her rights to have kicked me out.”

  “True, but she’d never do that.”

  Which Ty also knew and had used that knowledge to his advantage. Not that it’d helped him at all so far, since Lillian was at that very moment out with another man. “No, she wouldn’t,” he agreed. “Now, tell me what you found out since I’m assuming you called me for that reason and not to be a pain in my ass.”

  “Correct,” Isaac said. “Being a pain in your ass is just an added benefit.”

  Ty remained silent. Trying to get him to stop would have the opposite effect.

  “Damn,” Isaac said. “You used to be more fun.”

  Ty didn’t tell him it was because Lillian made him fun, or that nothing had been fun since the divorce. “Get on with,” he said instead.

  “Eric J. Barnes is completely clean,” Isaac said. “No record of anything. Nothing criminal, no traffic violations, not even a parking ticket. He’s about as clean as they come.”

  It was welcome news since Lillian was out with the guy at the moment, but damn, part of Ty wished Isaac had found something. An overdue library book. Something.

  “And before you bug me,” Isaac. said. “I asked around about him within the community.”

 

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