by Angela Horn
“I know I messed up and you have no reason to believe me, but I don’t want you to think what we have was a lie. I do love you. If I were my own male, I would have shown you how much I loved you from the beginning. I was wrong to lead you on because I always knew I wasn’t my own male. I was selfish though and being with you always made me happy. I’m sorry.”
Gigi looked like she wanted him to fix things and prove her wrong about him, but she wasn’t wrong and Anton couldn’t fix anything. He let her go and she left his office and kept walking out the front door and down the street.
The others were watching him, but Anton he didn’t care. He knew the night in the alley that he loved Gigi. He knew how he didn’t want just any mate, it had to be her. It was so clearly in front of him the night she was attacked, but as soon as she reappeared, he tried to lie about how he might have everything – his pack and power along with Gigi and children.
When he got the call about Roger, Anton understood on some level he was making a choice between his pack and a chance at a family. He understood and he made the choice, but as Gigi disappeared from view, Anton suspected he made the wrong one.
Chapter Forty
Gigi had considered going very fancy with her dinner for Finn, but Ella once said the O’Connor brothers loved stews. Ella even said no one cooked stews as good as their mother and Gigi wanted to test this claim. Now as she checked her stew, Gigi waited for Finn to appear from her bedroom in wolf form.
The kittens always went nuts when she cooked and they were staring at her now, hoping for some food beyond what was in their bowls. Gigi smiled at them and they all stood up, thinking they were about to get something good. Suddenly their little heads turned towards her bedroom door and their butts puffed into the air. Hissing, they walked in their prissy agitated kitty ways until a white snout appeared from the bedroom which caused the kittens to bolt into their room to hide.
Gigi stepped out of the kitchen to look at Finn who emerged from the bedroom. Falling to her knees, she was in awe of how the male she adored could turn into this beautiful creature. The big white wolf trotted over to her and Gigi immediately reached out to touch his face. Running her fingers through his thick coat, she laughed as she nuzzled his snout, loving how Finn was now a big dog. Finn stared at her with his gray eyes and whined.
Laughing, she asked, “Do you need me to take you for a walk so you can pee?”
Finn couldn’t roll his eyes, but he did growl at her then licked her face.
“You are so beautiful,” Gigi said, leaning her face against his coat and listening to him breathe. “The most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen.”
Finn let her pet him for almost ten minutes before she remembered the food and hurried to take it off the stove. By the time she turned back, Gigi found Finn gone and her door closed. Disappointed, she told the kittens to come out from under the bed. They obeyed and were sitting happily when Finn reappeared in his blue jeans and gray tee.
“Ah, I wasn’t done petting you,” Gigi whined with a grin.
“Dinner smelled ready and I get hungry when I shift.”
“Good because I made too much.”
Finn leaned over and smelled the stew. When he looked at Gigi, his eyes seemed dreamy.
“Are you shy about being a wolf?” Gigi asked, sliding her hands up his tee and enjoying his warm skin. “I think you’re a beautiful dog.”
“You’re never going to say wolf, are you?” Finn said, grinning.
“Wolf sounds scary. Dogs aren’t scary. They’re man’s best friend.”
Finn lifted her face up and kissed her softly. When he let her go, she thought maybe he didn’t care about dinner and instead would like to go back into her bedroom where they could both get naked this time.
“Dinner smells really good and it looks great. A little different than my mom’s though. She’s a purist.”
“How can your mom be Irish and an Arctic wolf?”
“Her family came from Ireland along with my father’s, but her clan goes back to the Arctic wolves. She’s very proud of the fact that both Declan and I take after her. She says my father was handsome as a man, but as a wolf, he looked like a mutt.”
“Do you remember your dad as a wolf?”
“Yes and I think he looked good. His coat was darker which I think meant it was easier to keep clean.”
Gigi laughed, whether Finn meant it as a joke or not. Based on his grin, he was clearly teasing her.
“Go sit down and I’ll serve you.”
“Ooh, fancy. Chez Gigi’s,” Finn said with a smile as he strolled to where the cats were already waiting since they knew this was the place for good eatin’.
Gigi carried a large polka dotted bowl filled with stew to the table and set it between their plates. She spooned a few serving with a ladle into the dish in front of Finn.
“Shifting makes me really hungry so keep spooning away,” Finn said with his gaze locked on the food. Lifting his beautiful eyes to her, he added, “Please.”
Gigi laughed at how desperately hungry he looked and filled his plate until it was ready to spill over. Finn leaned forward and inhaled the scent of the stew before taking a spoon and digging in.
“It’s hot,” she warned, but he responded by taking another large bite.
Gigi blew on her stew then spooned out a few bites of venison to cool down for the cats. They must have sensed something because they starting bouncing over one another.
“Settle down,” she told them and they sat and stared.
Gigi tore the venison into tiny bits and handed out the meat to each kitten. When they were all nibbling on their servings, she turned back to Finn who was watching her with a strange expression.
“Have you ever cooked for Silas?”
“No.”
“That’s why he doesn’t let you cook,” Finn said as he stood up and stepped next to her chair. His lips found hers and he kissed her deeply, his tongue tasting of the stew. When he finally let her go, Finn returned to his seat, looking flushed. “You cook him this and he’ll let you be head chef.”
“You like it?” Gigi said even though she knew he did, but she wanted to hear another compliment.
“One good thing about hiding you from my family is how you can’t repeat this, but your stew is way better than my mom’s,” Finn said then added like a dutiful son, “And my mom’s is really good.”
“Thank you. I heard you can make a man fall in love with you by cooking for him and I want you to fall in love with me.”
Finn eyed her and she saw several emotions swirling around in his eyes. She suspected he wanted to do the right thing and keep his distance, yet she also suspected he was going to let her take his shirt off tonight.
Thirty minutes later, after Finn devoured three plates of stew, Gigi did get his shirt off. A heated gasp erupted from her lips when she gazed upon his strong chest and hard stomach. She ran her fingers along the golden skin and shuddered.
Yet when Finn laughed, Gigi felt embarrassed like when Anton pushed her away after she became overheated from kissing him. Did Finn think she was acting like a whore?
“Why are you sad?” he asked instantly.
“I know I get horny and act weird.”
Finn exhaled and pulled her closer. “I wasn’t laughing at you. It’s just that you’re the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen. When you seem interested in me, I just can’t believe it.”
Gigi frowned, unsure if she believed him since Finn wouldn’t tell her anything he thought might hurt her feelings.
“In fact that’s why I wasn’t sure I wanted to shift for you. I worried you wouldn’t like me once you really understood what I am.”
“But you’re a beautiful dog, almost as beautiful as you are a man.”
Finn pulled her into his lap and Gigi felt her skin flush again. Watching her, he looked like he wanted to say something, yet Finn hesitated. Gigi noticed when she stared at Finn, really stared into his eyes, he had a tendency to calm down and
just say or do whatever he was holding back. So she stared and after a few false starts, Finn finally whispered, “I love you,” as if afraid she would be offended by his declaration. In fact his gaze immediately lowered, waiting for her to blow him off.
“You love me?” Gigi asked, breathing too quickly. “Romantic love, not friend love?”
Finn looked at her and nodded, still unsure of her response even with her chest rising and falling like she was about to hyperventilate.
“I love you too.”
“You don’t have to say it just because I did.”
For a moment Gigi did wonder if she only said the words because she was excited by him saying them. She thought to Anton who said them, but it wasn’t clear why he said them besides being lonely and needing to believe he might have a family one day. Finn knew her better than Anton did so she thought his love meant something else, something more permanent. Yet did she love Finn or just want to love someone so she wouldn’t be lonely? Was she doing what Anton did and just picking the first person who might fit?
Gigi wasn’t good at analyzing anything, but she knew Finn made her happy. He made her feel safe even though he wasn’t powerful like other Weres. Finn made her laugh and she felt like she could say stupid things to him without having him judge her. When she needed someone after Sara died, Finn comforted her. When she needed someone after Anton stood her up, Finn made her feel special. Was that love though?
“How do you know you love me?” Gigi asked.
“I need you. When you’re in the room, I’m happy. When you’re not, I’m just wading through life. I would give up everything to be with you. I don’t know how to explain it in a way you’ll understand. It’s not just that you’re beautiful or sweet or funny or strong. It’s that you’re you. Only you make me feel this way.”
“I love you too,” Gigi said after a few quiet minutes of holding his hand. “I thought really hard to make sure, but yes I love you too. That’s what I feel. Love, not lust.”
Finn’s expression shifted as he accepted this new situation. He clearly hadn’t expected her to love him. While he thought she wanted Anton and she did, desire and love weren’t the same things. Besides as much as she always hoped for Anton, she didn’t trust him. She trusted Finn.
Gigi climbed back into his lap and ran her hands down his chest. Those quiet moments of consideration dissolved into immediate heat. All the poker games when Gigi wanted to touch Finn, to yank off his shirt, to yank off all his clothes actually, had roused a need in her and now was her chance.
The moment her lips met his, Gigi knew Finn wasn’t uncertain. He wanted her and this was his chance too. His arms wrapped around her and Gigi immediately started thinking about ideas from the sex book. She had some plans for Finn.
“We’re not having sex tonight,” Finn whispered in her ear while kissing her neck.
“Why?” Gigi whined, trying to pull away as she wondered if he could read her mind.
“Because it’s our second date. A little anticipation won’t kill you.”
Finn was grinning as he said his words and she frowned at him. “You’re teasing me.”
Still smiling, he pulled her closer. “I’m going to lick your neck now. If you get scared, just remember how much stew I had for dinner. I’m stuffed.”
Gigi laughed then fell silent when his tongue tasted her. Shivering when his lips sucked at her neck, her hips grinded against his, wanting more, no matter what he said. She knew the key was getting his pants off. Yet no matter Finn’s arousal, he never let her hands anywhere near his zipper. Instead Gigi and Finn cuddled on the couch, kissing for almost an hour before they said goodnight and he slipped out of the building.
Blue balls or not, Gigi knew she was in love with someone who loved her back. That would have to be enough. Well it would be enough until operation “Get Finn’s Pants Off” was a success.
Chapter Forty One
Silas grunted which was his way of telling Gigi to come into his office. She put on a happy smile and hoped she wasn’t in trouble since Silas had never summoned her before. He looked up and grinned at Gigi like he sometimes did when he was in a good mood and she wasn’t asking too many questions.
“Tonight I’m switching you from the witch floor to the pack floor.”
Gigi said nothing, but her face must have done something because Silas frowned.
“Is that a problem?” he asked.
Shaking her head, Gigi didn’t want to see Anton so soon after she found out he was just using her for sex and never really intended to stay with her. Gigi needed to focus on Finn and staying angry with Anton helped, but something about Anton always soothed her. If she wasn’t careful, soon she would forgive him and start hoping his every sweet comment or meaningful glance actual meant something. Anton blinded her because she wanted to be blinded by him.
Finn was real while Anton was the fantasy she couldn’t let go of. A fantasy which would destroy the love she was building with Finn. Weeks earlier, Gigi couldn’t have Finn and she grabbed for every possible male to fix her loneliness. Now she had Finn and Gigi needed to let Anton go. She couldn’t tell Silas any of this, even though he was now scowling at her.
“Which one?” Silas growled. When Gigi just frowned, he sighed. “Declan or Anton?”
“Anton.”
“Want me to toss his ass out tonight?” Silas said with a serious expression, but Gigi sensed he was teasing her.
“Okay,” she said, calling his bluff.
Silas gave her one of those big grins he saved for when she survived death. “I guess I could leave you on the witch floor, but Roger’s back and his guys have talked you up and he really wants to meet you. If you were willing to deal with seeing Anton, I could have Ella work his section tonight.”
Nodding, Gigi smiled. “Okay, but can I have the earlier shifts for the rest of the month?”
Silas’s smile disappeared. “Why?”
“Because I want to get home earlier. The other girls like the later shifts because they get better tips. I bet any of them would be happy to switch with me.”
Silas scowled. “Fine, but I want to half your shifts. Half on one floor, half on another. I get a lot of pissy complaints from each group about not seeing you enough.”
“I thought the girls couldn’t switch floors.”
“The other girls can’t, but you’re special,” Silas said with a hint of malice even though he was grinning. “We got a deal?”
Gigi nodded and started to leave when Silas spoke. “Oh, yeah, and tonight is Picnic Night on the pack floor. You’ll need to wear a different uniform. Ella will tell you which one and don’t let her know about whatever Anton did to piss you off because she’ll just act like a fool all night.”
Nodding again, Gigi headed to the locker room, wondering about the uniform she needed to wear. Soon she and Ella were decked out in jean shorts as tiny as their normal ones and a white and red checkered shirt which they tied in a bow so their stomachs were bare. Gigi realized she was actually more naked than in her normal uniform which meant Picnic Night must be very popular with the Were males. Her outfit was finished off with cowboy boots which was the only part Gigi liked since the heels on her normal boots made her feet hurt.
Ella loved her outfit and danced around the floor, shaking her ass to the beat of every song. The guys alternated between laughing at her behavior and looking horny. Declan had to keep smacking his guys in retaliation for all the lewd comments, but they would just chuckle and start up again.
Gigi didn’t wiggle her ass because she never found it fun and she didn’t care if she received good tips. Her mind was on seeing Anton and forcing herself to stop wanting him. When the door to the floor opened, Gigi prepared for the beautiful Were, but instead found two other beautiful Weres.
Gigi assumed the blond Were was Roger because he nodded at Declan then sat in Roger’s pack section on the floor. The Alpha was thick with muscle like the other Alphas, but maybe a bit shorter and a few years younge
r. His body looked strong, yet his face had delicate, almost pretty features. His blue eyes were very hard as he sized up the room, forcing away the gazes of the males from the other packs.
The second Were must be the secret weapon Roger went looking for and he was the one who caused a flush to her skin when she first gazed upon him. Even though Ella talked about him in the locker room, Gigi couldn’t remember his name. He was taller than Roger and his muscular body seemed leaner, tighter. While Roger’s hair was short and spiky, the other Were’s hair was a golden brown and long - past his ears, though not quite to his shoulders. His face was relaxed and his hazel eyes appeared almost bored, but he was intensely handsome and rugged without trying. While Roger glared and dared, the other male easily exuded a quiet menace.
Gigi knew all Weres weren’t so handsome, but the Alphas were and of course Finn was stunning. Even Michael and Silas were fun to stare at so maybe Gigi shouldn’t have stared at Roger’s secret weapon. She was also in love with Finn and trying to get over Anton, not to mention her feelings for Simon. The last thing she needed was another male to fawn over, but she did fawn, though she hid it well.
Strolling towards them, Gigi still felt anxious, only because Roger specifically wanted to meet her and the pressure of making a good impression left her feeling insecure. Or maybe Anton’s rejection made her insecure. Either way she felt silly under the gazes of the two males.
“Good evening,” she said, wearing her best, non-crazy smile.
“Gigi,” Roger said and his smile immediately shifted his face from menacing to pleasant. “Apparently I missed all sorts of fun and most of it revolved around you.”
Gigi didn’t think Sara and the other girls disappearing was fun, but she didn’t say this to him. Yet she instantly disliked him.
“Everyone talked about you while you were gone. They said you’re the weakest of the three Alphas.”
Roger’s smile faded for only a second then returned with gusto. His friend smirked.