by Angela Horn
Gigi frowned as she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling.
“I still don’t understand things,” she said, remembering her conversation with Anton. “If Anton hadn’t stood me up, we would have slept together. I would have thought the sex meant he would stay with me, but he was always going to dump me. Maybe I do think you’ll stay if we have sex, but it doesn’t matter, does it?”
“I want to stay with you. I’ve never been in love before though and I’m fumbling around like an idiot, trying to do the right thing. I’m confused too. It’s not just you. Still you need to realize I’m not rejecting you when I don’t rip off your clothes after a few minutes of making out. I want to do something right because I feel like I do everything wrong with you.”
Gigi rolled over and sighed. “You’ll stay tonight, won’t you? I know I’m supposed to be independent and not need anyone. Ella makes fun of girls who get lonely and need a male, but I am lonely and I do need you. I don’t care if that makes me stupid or weak. There’s something wrong with me and I can’t fix it. I just have to give it what it needs so I can be calm and feel safe.”
“First of all stop listening to Ella as if she knows everything. I know for a fact she’s desperate for a boyfriend, but Declan called dibs when she was sixteen and no male can date her. He wants to protect her, but he’s basically blocked all her dating options and she gets lonely too. Ella won’t admit it, but she would date anyone at this point, just to have some male companionship. So don’t put too much stock into what she says. Everyone lies to make themselves look and feel better.
“Secondly you live in the Circle and everyone has something wrong with them here. This isn’t a normal place and you don’t have to be normal to fit in. I actually think the reason so many people in the Circle like you is because you’re different and you can’t really hide it. So just relax and be you. You’re like a month old in some ways and I think you do just fine.”
Smiling, Gigi caressed his chest. “You’re a good boyfriend.”
“I do my best.”
“How come you never dated more? Michael’s always saying how you’re gay.”
“Yeah, if a male doesn’t sleep with a new female each week, he’s labeled gay. Collecting females is as important to a Were’s masculinity as fighting all the time. Yet female Weres can’t be whores while the males have to be. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years, so they keep saying I’m gay as a way to force me to do what they expect. Again you can’t put much stock in what people say because they lie and twist things. No one thinks I’m gay. They think I’m weak, but in their mind, it’s the same thing.”
“But how come you don’t date?”
“I’m just not good at dating.”
“You were good with me.”
“Because your standards were so low and you still ended up thinking I wanted to eat you.”
Gigi rolled her eyes. “It seems so stupid now, but it made sense at the time.”
“Dating’s tricky. Alphas make it look easy. I’d watch them even before they were Alphas and think, yeah, I can do that. Then I’d end up looking like I was drunk or something. I’m just not that guy.”
Gigi saw how even though Finn’s lips were in a smile, his eyes seemed unsure, tense maybe. While he was hiding something, she was hiding her plan to hunt down the monster so she wasn’t going to push him. Lies were helpful sometimes.
“Well you’re my guy, Finn.”
Finn smiled softly and pulled her closer. “Just because we’re not going to have sex, doesn’t mean we can have a little fun even with the audience.”
Grinning, Gigi thought to send the cats from the room, but they would just sit in the hallway and meow. Finn really didn’t seem to mind the audience and he kept his promise about staying the night. Falling asleep with him against her helped Gigi settle down and her last thought was whether she would get to have sex before or after she killed the monster.
Chapter Forty Three
Gigi was glad to find Tobin alone in his booth when her shift began. After playing with the children, hugging them and listening to their stories about chasing and eating frogs, she moved to Tobin’s table and waited for him to look up from his book. When he noticed Gigi, his blue eyes studied her before he smiled.
“I hear you killed another monster.”
Gigi glanced around then frowned at him. “How did you know about the first one?”
“Oh, I just assumed. At first, I thought maybe its master destroyed it. When you recovered so miraculously, I sensed you had a hand in its demise. Come sit down, Gigi.”
Sliding into the booth, Gigi studied Tobin whose handsome features often hid behind his mask of indifference and distaste for others. While he was always friendly towards her and Ella, he tended to treat the other waitresses poorly. Never rude, just cold, both Tobin and Murphy seemed especially distrustful of humans.
“Are demons real?” Gigi whispered.
“Of course.”
“Could a demon make those flying monsters?”
“Yes, but a demon would only do so if compelled by someone else. Demons do not live in this plane of existence and they must be summoned here. If they were allowed to run free, demons would not spend their time making monsters and stealing waitresses. So if you’re asking if someone might have summoned a demon and forced it to do these things, the answer is yes. If you are asking me if I think this is what has happened, my answer is no. Too much work for too little benefit.”
“Who could make those monsters besides a demon?”
“Necromancers, sorcerers, witches. I suspect a necromancer.”
“Could you make them?”
Tobin smiled slyly, understanding the implication behind her question.
“Do you think I am the one who is taking the waitresses?”
Gigi had considered Tobin as a possible culprit. She watched enough crime shows to know it was usually someone lurking in the background, someone introduced, but not overtly suspicious. Gigi also knew Tobin was lonely. He wanted a wife, but even though he possessed the power to make children, he didn’t seem as successful with making himself a mate. Tobin had means, motive, and opportunity, yet she didn’t think he was the monster she needed to destroy.
Mainly because he looked at her sometimes the way the others males looked at her. He wanted her, but the bird monsters never attacked her because she wasn’t human. The master behind the monsters only hunted humans, but Tobin would be happy to have Gigi. She saw it in his eyes even now while he feigned humor at being accused of abductions and possibly murder.
“No, I don’t think it’s you, but you could make them, couldn’t you?”
“Yes and so could Murphy. Any powerful necromancer could create those things. Twisting magic and flesh is what necromancers do, but Murphy would never take girls from the club. He has a ‘don’t shit where you eat’ policy.”
Gigi sighed. “Are there other necromancers in the Circle?”
“Someone new is in the Circle, but it can be difficult to track magic here.”
“I plan to kill the monster who took Sara. She might be alive and I want to save her. I have to believe I can save her, but I’m worried whoever took her is the same person who took my memories and put me here. If my master is the monster, can I kill him?”
“In theory no. Yet I often wonder about your origins. I suspect you are a weapon hidden in the Circle for some future use. After all not only is your blood toxic, you seem immune to the toxins in the flying beast’s claws. Justine was incapacitated quickly, but I heard you were quite lively even after the beast got hold of you. I do think it’s possible you grew too powerful for your master to safely keep in his presence. If you truly have broken from your master’s grip, you could fight him, but it’s just as likely he would destroy you. Most powerful creatures who bend humans and beasts to their will tend to install a sort of kill switch in their creations. With a word or phrase, your master could destroy you. I suspect he doesn’t want this or else he wouldn’t keep healing you.”
“So if I find the one who took Sara, I might save her, but it’s not likely?”
“Even if he’s not your master, the necromancer who made those flying monsters will be very powerful and you have no magic. While I do not know what you are or why you were put here, I do know you have not even a hint of magic in you. After a month in the Circle, magic would have begun to cling to you like with all humans. Even tampered with, you are essentially human. I can’t imagine what else you could be?”
“Could I be a demon?” Gigi asked, remembering the show she watched.
Tobin laughed and patted her hand. “No, I don’t think so. Demons have a certain scent you don’t possess. My current theory is that you were a normal human child and someone got hold of you and twisted you into something else. You should have some kind of magic lingering on you, but whoever made you has hidden it much like they have hidden your memories. To do this though would take great power which is why the witches are convinced you aren’t human. Hiding magic is very difficult.
“On the other hand, the perfect healing you have shown after fatal wounds is also very difficult. A very powerful sorcerer or maybe a clan of witches could do it though. I have heard of witch clans out west who can twist magic in ways we have never seen here in the Circle. Possibly the locals think too small and so we can’t imagine what you’ve had done to you. Still I suspect you are human with a few minor tweaks by an overly curious clan of witches.”
Gigi sighed deeply which caused Tobin to smile.
“I haven’t been much help, have I?”
“I’m still confused, but at least I don’t think it’s a demon. I saw demons on TV and they looked really scary.”
“Don’t believe what you see on TV, but demons are very scary. Vicious creatures with only destruction in mind. It’s why I don’t believe one would be patient enough to take the girls from the club.”
Gigi watched the children while Tobin watched her. “Do you think Sara could be alive?”
“Yes,” he said softly. “Killing the girls doesn’t make much sense. If it were a human serial killer then I would understand, but whoever made those flying beasts is very powerful. I suspect the waitresses are being used for experiments.”
Gigi glanced at Tobin who was watching her in a very male way.
“If I could save the girls, but they have been tampered with, could they be fixed?”
“Depends. Powerful magic can often fix what other powerful magic has damaged.”
“Could you fix them, if I found them?”
“Yes.”
“Would you?”
Tobin’s gaze softened. “Just as I would have fixed you, if it was in my power to do so.”
Gigi watched him for a long time. “I was very lonely when I first got to the Circle. Some people like being alone, but I don’t. Why do you have to be alone?”
“Have you read the book Of Mice and Men?”
Gigi shook her head.
“There is a character in the book who is not very smart. He loves bunnies, but when he holds them, he holds them too tightly and they die. His love smothers as does mine.”
“You love the children though.”
“Yes, I do,” Tobin said with a smile. “They ask for less than a lover would though. They also give more than a lover gives. What I need is too much and I hold my loves too tightly until they leave or die.”
“Why do you hold them so tightly?”
“Because I know no other way. When something breaks in us as children and it never heals properly, the wounds which remain taint our decisions. I suspect you are still lonely unless you have the one you want with you at all times.”
Gigi nodded, thinking of how restless she became when Finn was away.
“Be careful not to smother him with your love. Most creatures are not as flawed as us. They love normally and our love can destroy them.”
“I’ll be careful, but it’s never enough. I need him with me always.”
Tobin nodded as his gaze caressed the children. “It’s why I have so many children. The longing inside me needs to be fed and one or two children would never be enough to satisfy it.”
“Maybe I should be alone then. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone,” Gigi said as tears stung her eyes at the thought of losing Finn.
“No need for that. Just be careful. If he is not the one, another male will fill your needs,” Tobin said then added, “Do you wish to be a mother some day?”
“Yes, but Sara put me on birth control before she was taken. She wanted me to be safe because she said I was going to end up pregnant by some dog. She doesn’t like Weres.”
“The Weres do tend to be overbearing with their females and usually don’t marry their human lovers or acknowledge their half breed offspring. They don’t make very good mates, no.”
As Gigi wiped her tears, she realized Tobin thought he would be a better mate. Maybe his assessment of Weres was true, but not with Finn. If he didn’t have the threat hanging over them, Finn would want her forever. He would love her and marry her and they would have children and he wouldn’t care if they were half breeds. He would just love them because Finn would make a good father and be there for his children like his father couldn’t be there for him. He would make a perfect mate, but Gigi couldn’t tell Tobin any of this.
“Maybe you’re right. I might be dead soon though, so I don’t really think about children and marriage,” Gigi lied, unwilling to hurt Tobin’s feelings. She knew how it felt to be lonely and she often ached at the thought of Anton’s loneliness.
Tobin glanced at his children then back at Gigi. “If you do find the monster, you should just tell someone like myself and I will handle it. There are a great many powerful creatures in the Circle who could deal with a powerful necromancer or even a clan of witches. If witches are behind this, you can not destroy them all. You will die and it would be a waste of a cherished life.”
Smiling, Gigi nodded. “Maybe you’re right. I think I know how to find the monster, but maybe I’m not the one to destroy it? Killing those flying beasts was a fluke and besides they’re just henchmen. Their master is very powerful so I’ll ask for help if I find him.”
Tobin smiled, accepting her lie. “If you find the monster, the powerful of the Circle will destroy him. If possible, we’ll save your friends too.”
Gigi grinned brightly, wishing Tobin might find a female he could love without smothering. Someone who could love his ghoul children like the human children they once were. When Gigi first walked onto the ghoul floor, she expected to find horror. What she found instead was eternal loneliness. They were all so lost and forever searching for something to fill the emptiness inside them. Gigi saw herself in these ghouls and hoped she too could soothe her emptiness without suffocating the one she loved.
Chapter Forty Four
Gigi’s plan was to search for the monsters by driving around the Circle and waiting for her hands to tingle. While it was a simple plan, the Circle was a big place. Using a map to break the Circle into sections, Gigi gave herself a chunk of territory to search every day. The monsters would likely be hiding inside during the day, making them a stationary target.
On her first day out, Gigi decided to begin in Roger’s territory because his area was considered the rough section of the Circle. She just assumed the master and his monsters wouldn’t live somewhere nice.
After the gym and before Anton’s office, Gigi spent a few hours slowly driving up and down street after street. Boring as it was, Gigi felt this was the only way to find the master on her own. By lunch, she realized she wouldn’t benefit from beginner’s luck. The day was a bust so she parked on a street lined with little restaurants. Since she was unsure what to eat, she strolled the block, hoping to find something good.
Gigi didn’t respond to her name because she was so deep in thought about Finn’s shirtless chest. Suffering from a bad case of lust, she finally heard someone calling her and turned to find Roger right behind her.
“He
ad in the clouds?” he asked with a grin.
“I don’t know what that means.”
Roger’s grin widened and he ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. “What are you doing in my territory?”
“Am I not allowed here?”
“Oh, it’s not that. I just figured you’d be too stuck up to hang around down here.”
Gigi thought to how she chose his territory because it wasn’t as nice as Anton’s and Declan’s. While she was stuck up, she didn’t share this information to avoid hurting his feelings.
“I was looking for a place to eat.”
“Will wonders never cease,” Roger said and his blue eyes lit up. “I was just trying out some new chefs at my restaurant. Want to come in and give me your professional opinion?”
Knowing Roger desired her, Gigi didn’t want to lead him on. Plus she wasn’t sure she wanted to critique someone else’s food, but the Alpha nudged her towards his restaurant and she couldn’t find a reason to say no.
The restaurant was small, seating probably no more than sixty. The décor was pretty blah and she wasn’t entirely sure what kind of food they served.
“I told you it was Gigi,” Roger said to Kyle who was leaning back in a chair.
“I stand corrected.”
Gigi didn’t think Kyle was happy to see her, but she was just guessing. He was a difficult Were to read because his hazel eyes seemed bright and hazy at the same time as if he were tense and relaxed simultaneously.
“Now I want your honest opinion about these chefs, okay?” Roger said as he pulled out a chair for her. “I’ve been trying to get this place out of the red for over a year, but I’m just drowning in it now.”
Gigi nodded, but she felt awkward around Kyle. He was the only male Were who didn’t check her out. Michael claimed not to and insisted he only stared at her boobs because he was guessing her cup size.
Still most male Weres would at least take a peek or smile a little too much at her, yet Kyle’s gaze avoided her. Even though she was with Finn, Gigi wished Kyle noticed her. Was she so vain she needed every male to swoon for her? She didn’t think so, but she wanted Kyle to pay attention. She craved his eyes on her.