by Angela Horn
Gigi stared at Sara’s dead eyes. They were a milky blue and held no life in them. None of the heads were alive, yet they screamed – not in fear, for their fear was gone. Gigi’s rage told her how they screamed for vengeance, begging for retribution. Their rage mixed with Gigi’s, fueling it until she could barely breathe.
Turning away from the heads, Gigi stared at the necromancer who was smiling in the friendliest way. Gigi’s hands flexed out then back into fists then out again. Each movement fed the rage as her teeth grinded together. The female watched her with amusement.
“Angry, bitch?”
Gigi couldn’t answer for the rage was all she saw and felt and loved. A low growl erupted from within Gigi. When the growl deepened, echoing in the room, the necromancer finally lost her smile.
“I’m done playing with you.”
The monsters darted forward, planning to tear Gigi apart. The darkness inside her wanted to feel their claws tear at her flesh. She wanted violence and she wanted destruction and she wanted death.
When Gigi screamed – giving a voice to the still screaming dead girls behind her - the rage could no longer be restrained. Gigi reached out for the necromancer, wanting to feel her skin rip away, to feel the hot blood under her fingertips, to feel the life leave the female who took away those innocent girls.
The monsters squawked, not in rage, but suffering as their bodies flamed. Gigi ran past them towards the necromancer who waved her hands and did her chants and whirled her magical spells. Still screaming, Gigi grabbed the female and they both fell to the ground.
The necromancer scratched at Gigi and cried out for her magic. Instead of salvation, the female began to disintegrate as the magic she hungered for devoured her. Digging her nails into the female, Gigi screamed again and let the rage free.
The rage burned the walls and the floors, consumed the shelves with the now silent heads, and even charred the air. The surviving monsters fled, but the rage chased them down and set them ablaze.
Underneath Gigi, the necromancer broke apart, burning and flaying as both the rage and magic torn her to pieces, feasting on her as she had feasted on Sara. The magic faded as the female’s energy did, but the rage flourished. Sending waves of heat and destruction into every hallway, up the staircase, into the attic, burning every inch of the house, consuming evil with evil until only a three-story fireball remained. Burning for hours, long after the house was gone and the fire engines dumped gallons of water, the rage burned all night long, until the sun rose the next morning.
Standing hidden in the blaze, Gigi wept and growled and laughed and screamed and prayed. She could kill the necromancer a million times, but it would never return big sis. Sara was gone. They were all gone.
Outside the blaze, the creatures of the Circle marveled at the fire. They gossiped about the strange female who lived in the house – kept to herself but was friendly enough. The Alphas visited and surveyed the damage. The witch clans all came to witness the unending fire. Everyone wanted to enjoy the spectacle. While Gigi watched them, she let the rage rise up inside her because it felt good to let it free.
Just after dawn, as the sun threatened to burn as hot as the fire, Gigi sensed Millicent with her - felt a chill in the heat of the fire. The ghost’s white hair flowed in the furious breeze of the blaze and her dark eyes looked frightening against the paleness of her face. Millicent flinched at the rage which swirled around her.
“We should go before he comes and punishes you,” Millicent said and Gigi thought the ghost sounded very dignified like a lady from those movies where women wore corsets. “I will keep your secret for now, but you must make the rage sleep, Gigi.”
Gigi didn’t remember who “he” was, but she felt something cracking in her mind. Memories tried to push forward and she felt a sharp pain as what no longer wanted to be hidden tore at the walls. If “he” returned, those memories could be stolen again so Gigi did what Millicent asked and pulled back the rage.
Gigi thought of Mamma Celeste singing to her. She thought of Sara laughing. She thought of Finn kissing her with his soft lips. Gigi thought of cooking and her kittens and her polka dots and Crystal Gayle and Nina Simone and Mike throwing fits and Ella shaking her ass and all the happy things which survived even with death and evil all around her.
Gigi thought of joy and blessings and Sara in Heaven with Katia and all the other girls who were stolen away when they still had dreams to achieve. When Gigi filled her soul with love, the rage which hungered to burn everything forever instead smoldered then folded inside her and slumbered.
Chapter Fifty Three
Gigi couldn’t tell Finn why she was sad, couldn’t explain to him about what she had let loose the night before, couldn’t reveal what evil might be hiding inside her. Like Bethany, she was willing to deceive the male she loved so she could keep him.
Even without knowing, Finn comforted her by talking about cars and trying to bore away her tears. Gigi finally laughed when his descriptions became so technical she thought he was speaking another language.
“I love you,” he said. “You can tell me whatever is bothering you.”
Gigi knew he believed his words, but Finn loved her because she was sweet. What she did the night before and what she released from within wasn’t sweet. Evil and ugly, it needed to remain hidden from Finn and everyone else.
Maybe it was the Circle or something in the necromancer’s house which set off the rage inside her? Where she had created a blaze which burned for eight hours, she couldn’t even light a candle wick now. Gigi wanted to believe something the necromancer did in that house made the rage become what it did. Gigi needed to believe the rage was dead much like the female was, but it was a lie she had difficulty believing.
“I think Sara is dead,” Gigi finally said. “I’m grieving my big sis.”
“She might still be found.”
Gigi nodded, her eyes studying his handsome face. He was hers, but he would leave her. Finn wasn’t a tease like the other Weres, but he wanted her to be a certain kind of female. Just as Simon needed Gigi to be a Vamp so he could love her, Finn needed Gigi to be essentially human. She didn’t know what she was exactly, but she knew she wasn’t human and maybe never had been. The thought of Finn hating and rejecting her brought Gigi to tears.
Finn scooted around on the couch so he could take her face in his hands and force her gaze to his. He was so beautiful and so gentle and he would be repulsed by her evil.
“Does the reason you’re sad have anything to do with the fire from last night?”
Gigi flinched and panic ravaged her as she tried to find a way to keep him.
“Why would you think that?” she asked too strongly.
Finn smiled softly. “It smelled like you.”
“What?”
“You have a very distinct scent. The fire last night was so hot and it lasted for so long that the whole Circle smelled of you. I was sitting at Mike’s and heard about the fire, so we stood out on the balcony and watched it from his place. When I smelled you, I called, but you didn’t answer. I was terrified something happened to you. You were there, weren’t you?”
Gigi couldn’t avoid the truth, couldn’t keep Finn with her, and so she wept. He held her and told her it would be okay, but she knew he was lying.
“I killed her,” Gigi whimpered.
“Was she the one who took Sara?”
Gigi nodded and shook with panic. “She ate Sara. She ate them all like they were food and she didn’t even care. She killed my friend and thought it was okay because someone hurt her first. She was evil and I got so angry and…”
Unable to look at him, Gigi hid behind her hair and waited for him to leave.
“You had to kill her. Even if you weren’t angry and didn’t want revenge, you had to kill her. Once she knew you had found her, she had to die. Anyone would have killed her. If you had told someone where she was, they would have killed her. Instead you did.”
“You’re not mad?”
Finn studied her with his beautiful eyes and smiled. “You scared the shit out of me last night. I couldn’t get hold of you and I was sure I’d lost you. That part upset me, but I’m not mad that you killed some murderer. Why would I be?”
“Because I have evil in me.”
Finn gave her an oddly sympathetic smile like when he had to explain how things worked. It was the same look he gave her when she asked why the light didn’t turn on anymore in the bathroom and he had to explain about light bulbs.
“I know you don’t understand what I am, but Weres aren’t dogs. We have to work hard to keep our beasts in check so we can live normal lives. If someone hurt you, I would lose control. I would kill that person and I wouldn’t do it in some reasonable way. I would tear them apart and I’m sure if anyone saw me do it, they would be scared and think I was evil. The Circle is full of darkness. What you did was ugly, but it was necessary. That bitch needed to die. Everyone knew that.”
Remembering the rage and how it only wanted to destroy - not just the necromancer but everything - Gigi wasn’t sure Finn truly understood what she was capable of. “I think I might be evil though.”
“I have evil in me too. Everyone does. I know you’re still learning things and so you think what you feel is wrong, but you didn’t hurt someone innocent. You didn’t kidnap young women and eat them. You killed someone who came to the Circle and started feeding off the locals. I would have killed her, if you had told me where she was. Does that make me evil?”
Face still wet, her crying was over. Finn stood and pulled Gigi to her feet. Walking to the bedroom, he kept her wrapped in his arms.
“How did you make the fire though?” he asked quietly as they reached her dark bedroom.
“I don’t know. I got so angry and I’m not supposed to get angry. I guess I know why now.”
“And you just kept it burning all that time?” Finn said, pulling her shirt over her head. “Could you not stop it?”
“I didn’t want to,” she admitted. “The power felt good and I was still angry, but Millie said I needed to stop or else the male who hid my memories would punish me.”
“And you just turned the power off?”
“Yes.”
Instead of looking horrified, Finn seemed impressed. “You have some mad skills, don’t you?” he teased as he joined her naked in bed. “Toxic blood, able to take down flying monsters, and the power to burn a fire like that. Pretty badass, Gigi.”
“You’re really not mad?”
Finn sighed. “You didn’t just stumble upon the evil bitch, did you?”
Gigi shook her head. “My hands tingle when I’m around those monsters the necromancer made. I’ve been tracking her for a week.”
“Did you not tell me because you thought I would stop you or because you didn’t think you could trust me to understand?”
“Both.”
“I probably would have wanted to come with you, but if she was a powerful necromancer, a Were wouldn’t have been very helpful. Still next time you need to do something awesome, let me know so if I can’t get hold of you, I won’t worry. Look at my poor nails,” Finn said as he ran his fingers down her neck to her breasts. “Gnawed them off worrying.”
“I’m sorry,” she cooed.
“I forgive you, but only because you destroyed a serial killer and came home safe to me. Now I think we should stop talking since you have trouble keeping up the conversation once my tongue starts licking.”
“I love you.”
Finn grinned and whispered, “I love you too,” before using his tongue as promised.
Hours later, after so much lovemaking Gigi’s body felt boneless, she lay with Finn. Even as her body relaxed, her mind raced with memories of the night before. No matter what Finn said about everyone having evil in them, Gigi knew the rage only hungered for destruction and it was hiding inside her waiting for another chance to break free.
Gigi didn’t think she would ever fall asleep, but Finn had dozed off and his face was peaceful. She studied how his golden skin retained its hue even in the moonlit room. She brushed back his soft blond hair and laid her hand on his chest. His breathing was deep and steady and soon her breathing followed his rhythm until she began to doze. His love warmed her and his tranquility eased away her worries.
When the dream took her, it was a dream of Mamma Celeste. She was singing so softly as she cooked her pot of food. Dark skin moist with the heat from the kitchen and the hot summer day, Mamma Celeste glanced down at Gigi and sang to her.
“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
Gigi sat on the floor, watching Mamma Celeste sing. She smelled the food and licked her lips with hunger. Somewhere a dog growled and Gigi turned her head to look for the animal. Instead she found the stove door, shiny from the light of the day.
In the door was the reflection of a child looking back at Gigi. The child growled and hissed even as Mamma Celeste sang so softly. The child yanked at her long blonde hair and clawed at her face. Staring at the reflection, the child tore at the thick metal collar wrapped around her neck.
Scratching at the restraint, the hissing child stared up towards Mamma Celeste’s sweet voice.
“Don’t scratch, Baby Boo. Scratching only makes it worse.”