by Rachel Bach
“Sorry,” he said quietly, but he didn’t step back.
“Just give me some warning next time,” I scolded him. “Make a noise or something.”
Rupert shook his head. “No, it’s…” He trailed off with a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry for everything, but the memories especially. I would have kept them from you if I could, but the daughters can’t return memories without guidance, and whenever you go into someone’s mind, especially someone you care about and share a history with, you can’t help leaving things behind.”
I sighed as well. “It’s okay. I already forgave you, remember?”
“It’s not okay,” he said. “You shouldn’t be burdened with my past. It’s not a good place. You shouldn’t have to see that.”
His voice changed as he spoke, growing thinner and quieter just as it had when he’d told me the truth of what he’d done as an Eye. That in turn made me remember what he’d said before he’d taken my memories the first time, when he’d pulled me out from under the trauma shell to confess that he loved me even though he knew he didn’t deserve to, that he wasn’t worthy of my affection. Now as then, the idea made me angry, so much so that I had to take a deep breath to make sure I didn’t accidentally trigger the virus. Because while I might not be able to make the call just yet on what exactly Rupert was to me, it was still my call to make. No one decided who was worthy of me except myself.
I reached down and grabbed Rupert’s hands. He jumped a little at the sudden contact, but I held on tight, glaring at him until he met my eyes. “Listen,” I said when I was sure I had his attention. “If I say it’s okay, it’s okay. You did what you did to save my life, and I’ll take bad memories over a grave any day. So stop apologizing, because there’s nothing left to forgive. Understand?”
“No,” Rupert said sharply. “Devi, those memories will stay with you for the rest of your life. You might not have even seen the worst yet, so you can’t just forgive—”
“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t forgive,” I snapped. “It’s my forgiveness. And anyway, it’s thanks to you that I have a rest of my life to be worried about, so you’ll just have to put up with me not hating you.”
Rupert stared at me for a long moment, and then he bowed his head, leaning down until his forehead rested against mine. “How are you like this?” he whispered. “How can you just let this go?”
I took a deep breath. Other than our foreheads and our hands, Rupert and I weren’t actually touching, but it didn’t seem to matter. I could feel his warmth across the few inches that separated us, and my whole body was twitching with the sudden urge to wrap myself around him. But then, Rupert was always like this for me. The nearness of him was so overwhelming I hadn’t even noticed that he’d trapped me against the sink until I felt the cold metal lip pressing into my lower back. Worse, I couldn’t seem to make myself care. All the smart, careful plans I’d made to keep my head on straight and not let myself get burned by him again seemed suddenly pointless. And as his fingers tightened around mine, filling my body with the memory of just how good those fingers could feel, I began to wonder, why was I holding back again?
But just as I pushed up on my toes to bring my lips to his, Rupert’s head shot up.
I jumped in surprise, knocking my back painfully against the sink. “What?”
Rupert put a finger to his lips, looking pointedly toward the living room. I nodded, holding my breath as I listened, but I didn’t hear anything except the constant rustle of the soypen outside. I was about to push out of his arms and go investigate for myself when I caught the soft but very familiar hiss of a stabilizer. A Paradoxian armor stabilizer, shifting a large amount of weight.
That was all the warning I got before the back door of the house exploded.
CHAPTER 2
I ducked on instinct, covering my face with my hands, but with Rupert curled over my body, the hail of wood didn’t even touch me. He was up again a second later, turning around so that I was caught behind him. When I tried to wiggle out, he pinned me in place with his arm, forcing me to look over his shoulder as the soldiers walked in.
Considering the long list of people looking for us, I was expecting symbionts, or maybe Terrans. I should have trusted my ears, though, because the suits that came in to flank us were clearly Paradoxian. There were three that I could see, one at the back door, his foot still coming down from the kick that had splintered it, and two more who’d busted in through the front and were now moving to block the door to the living room.
I swore, shoving at Rupert in a futile attempt to break free, not that it would have done me any good. There were now two suits of Knight-class armor between me and my Lady, still charging in her box in the corner of the living room. I didn’t have a gun or thermite; I didn’t even have shoes on. The best I could manage was a kitchen knife, which wouldn’t even scratch Paradoxian plating, especially not these suits.
The soldier’s armor was painted in the red and silver of the Paradoxian Home Guard, which meant this was the king’s business. Considering he’d handed me over to the Eyes like a present, I could guess well enough what that business was. You can imagine my shock, then, when the soldier wearing officer’s colors stopped short, lowering his gun.
“Devi?”
I knew that voice, but I still didn’t quite believe it until the officer flicked up his visor to reveal a familiar, and very pissed off, face.
“Anthony?” I said, leaning into Rupert’s back as I tried to get a better view. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I…” Anthony faded off into a sputter. “What the hell is going on?” he shouted, pointing at Rupert with his gun. “Who’s he?”
I felt Rupert go stiff, but it was too late. I’d already hopped up on the sink and slid sideways, jumping down on the other side, out of his grasp. Anthony started forward to meet me, but Rupert cut him off at once, though he didn’t try to pin me again. Good thing, too, because I was in no mood for gallantry. Especially not when the man he was trying to protect me from had been my friend and lover for over seven years.
“He’s with me,” I said. “Now, why are you here?”
Anthony shot Rupert a nasty look before turning back to me. “I’m here for you. I got an emergency message from a Blackbird that you’d showed up here with some Terran, and I came as fast as I could.”
I gaped at him. “Why would you—”
“I thought you were dead!” Anthony shouted. “Goddammit, Devi, you send me that letter, then you brush me off, and then, before I can come pick you up, the whole universe goes nuts because Reaper’s laid siege to Montblanc on your account. And then the lizards get slagged by the damn lelgis and no one knows why and you’re gone for a year and what the hell was I supposed to think?”
I snapped my mouth shut. All of this had happened so recently for me I hadn’t actually stopped to consider what it must have looked like from the outside. Now that Anthony spelled it out for me, though, it did sound pretty bad.
“I wouldn’t even know you were alive if Hicks hadn’t tipped me off,” Anthony continued. “I almost didn’t believe him, but I was so desperate I came anyway. I flew all the way out to this dust speck on a hope, and when I finally find you, you’re shacking up with a goddamn Terran!”
“Rupert has nothing to do with this,” I said pointedly. “Look, I’m sorry—”
“Oh, that’s his name?” Anthony said, cutting me off with a nasty sneer. “So you have time to play house with him but you don’t even think of sending a note back home to let the people who’ve been worrying about you know you’re alive?”
“It’s not like that!” I shouted.
“I don’t care what it’s like,” Anthony said. “You’re coming home. Right now. You can tell me the rest on the flight back to Paradox.”
That was the last straw. Anthony might be a captain, but I was not his soldier, and he did not give me orders. I was about to tell him as much when Rupert stepped in front of me.
“T
hat’s enough of that,” he said in King’s Tongue. “Ms. Morris is not going anywhere.”
The words rolled out with the same smooth, authoritative, high-class Kingston accent he’d used back at the embassy. Unfortunately, it didn’t work as well this time.
“You shut up,” Anthony snapped, getting in Rupert’s face. Normally, that would have been hard since Anthony wasn’t much taller than I was. In his armor, though, he and Rupert were at eye level. “I don’t know who you think you are, asshole,” he snarled. “But you don’t dictate to me. This farce is over. She’s going home with me, so back off.”
Since Rupert had his back to me, I couldn’t see his expression, but it didn’t matter. I could practically feel the cold little smile that must have been on his face as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked like a thin, leather wallet. “No,” he said, flipping open his Royal Warrant. “She’s not.”
Anthony’s eyes went wide. “What the hell is this?”
“Thank you for coming all the way out here, Captain,” Rupert went on as though Anthony hadn’t spoken. “You’ve saved us a great deal of trouble. Now, under the authority of the Sacred King, I’ll be requisitioning your ship. You may give me your authorization codes now.”
The blood drained from Anthony’s face as Rupert spoke, leaving him chalk white. The two soldiers he’d brought with him were also looking spooked, and I didn’t blame them. Royal Warrants were serious business, as good as the king’s own command. Seeing that, I fully expected Anthony to back off and bow out like a captain should, but he did no such thing. Though he was pale as death, he held his ground, glaring at Rupert with more hate than I’d known he could muster. “I don’t think so, pal.”
“Sir!” one of his officers said, just as I yelled, “Anthony!” But it was Rupert’s voice that cut through everything else as he said, “Shut down.”
Anthony’s guards froze as their armor locked up, and I flinched in sympathy. But while his men were frozen, Anthony’s armor stayed online, and he gave Rupert a bone-chilling smirk as he recited, “Override One. Voice Authorization: Captain Anthony Pierce, Home Guard Unit Nine, Kingston Division.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the soldiers’ suits came back online. Not a second later, both of them had their guns trained on Rupert, and Anthony, standing between them, was grinning like a gladiator standing over his fallen opponent.
“Nice try,” he said, lifting his own cannon of an anti-armor pistol, the one I’d helped him pick out three years ago. “But that trick doesn’t work on the king’s Home Guard. Not that you have any right to that Warrant in the first place, you Terran piece of shit.”
“Anthony!” I shouted, horrified. “Are you insane? You can’t just ignore a Warrant! It’s blasphemy! They’ll hang you!” I paused to let that sink in, but Anthony wasn’t even looking at me. “Back the hell off!” I shouted, shoving out from behind Rupert. “So help me, I will report your ass if you don’t stand down!”
“Report me to whom?” Anthony said, never taking his eyes off Rupert. “This isn’t the king’s space, Devi. It’s a little cash colony in the middle of nowhere, and the chief of security is a loyal Paradoxian who values the goodwill of a Home Guard captain far more than some Terran agent’s hide.” He lifted his arm, aiming his gun at Rupert’s head. “I could shoot him right here and no one would ever know.”
Even knowing normal guns couldn’t really hurt him, Rupert looked remarkably calm for someone who had three giant anti-armor pistols pointed at his face. He just folded his Warrant and slipped it back into his pocket before shooting Anthony an indulgent smile. “Last chance not to make a mistake, Captain.”
His face was all sincerity, but the quiet anger in Rupert’s voice made me wince. I was used to him being cold, but Rupert pissed was something new. I opened my mouth to tell Anthony he didn’t know what he was messing with, but before I could get a word out, Anthony said, “Kill him.”
After that, everything happened at once.
The soldiers fired first, but they were still miles too slow. Rupert was moving the moment Anthony spoke, and it was only because I was used to symbiont speed that I looked fast enough to see what he did.
He sidestepped both shots, coming up directly beside the soldier on Anthony’s left. The boom of the gunfire was still ringing in my ears when Rupert’s arm reached out to grab the man’s shoulder. After that, all I saw was a flash of black before Rupert’s claws ripped the man’s suit straight down the side.
The soldier fell with a surprised yelp, using the last of his busted stabilizers to try and grab his attacker, but Rupert was already gone. He slipped around Anthony like water, coming up behind the soldier who’d come in the back door. The man was still trying to turn around in a last-ditch effort to land a shot when Rupert lashed out, ripping out the back of the man’s suit from the base of his helmet to the motor at the small of his back.
Rupert must have fought armor before, because that was a pro shot. The soldier didn’t even have time to squeeze the trigger before his suit went black. By that point, though, Rupert was back to where he’d started, standing in front of Anthony with his hands perfectly normal again as both soldiers toppled over.
Anthony’s eyes went wide as the armor crashed to the kitchen’s plastic floor, but he didn’t fire again. That struck me as odd, because the Anthony I knew would have been emptying his clip into Rupert’s chest by this point. But other than that first missed shot, Anthony hadn’t used his gun at all. He was just staring at Rupert like he was seeing him for the first time, and then he tossed his gun away.
“It’s you,” he said, reaching up to grab the handle that was sticking out over his left shoulder. “You’re the one she was talking about!”
I always knew the letter I’d sent Anthony about symbionts would come back to bite me in the ass, but I don’t think I could have foreseen it playing out like this. Rupert glanced at me in surprise, but before I could say anything, Anthony pulled a thermite sword off his back and fired the blade. I jerked back, temporarily blinded as the kitchen lit up with white fire. By the time my eyes had recovered, Anthony was swinging for Rupert’s head.
Rupert dodged easily, but I didn’t hang around to watch. I was already scrambling to find a weapon, any weapon, because with that move Anthony had just taken this fight to a new level. I hadn’t actually been worried about Rupert getting shot, but that thermite blade was another matter. I still didn’t think Anthony could take Rupert in a straight-up fight, thermite or no, but neither Anthony nor Rupert looked like they were going to back down, which meant unless I did something soon, one of them was going to end up dead. Probably Anthony, which I couldn’t allow, because even though he was being a dick about it, he’d come here for my sake, and I couldn’t let him get killed for that.
Unfortunately, my options were limited. Both soldiers and Anthony had dropped their guns, but they were all serious armor-rated pistols that kicked even harder than my Sasha. I’d be lucky to hit anything firing one barehanded, and I didn’t even want to think about what it would do to my arm. Also, the rapidly escalating fight was quickly forcing me into the corner of the kitchen, cutting me off from the living room where my armor lay tantalizingly out of reach. I was about to try jumping out the window and going around that way when I saw Rupert’s disrupter pistol sitting on the kitchen counter.
I lunged for the gun, my fingers closing on the smooth pearl handle. As before, the weight surprised me. It felt more like I was holding a lead model of a gun than an actual working weapon. But it was what I had, so I picked it up and whirled around to find my shot.
I’d only looked away for a few seconds, but that was enough for the fight to turn ugly. Rupert was a symbiont, but Anthony was a captain. His suit was as nice as my own Lady, and it was keeping pace with Rupert’s lightning-fast dodges. Anthony was no slouch either, his skills still top-notch despite his years behind a desk. Plus, he was pissed, and every time Rupert dodged, he only got angrier. He was go
ing for Rupert’s legs when I came around, and though Rupert dodged with room to spare, Anthony changed direction instantly, pivoting on his heel to follow Rupert’s retreat.
For Rupert’s part, he seemed to be trying to get Anthony into a submission hold, which was probably the only reason Anthony was still alive. If Rupert had been serious, I’m pretty sure Anthony’s head would have been off before he’d pulled his blade. But while Rupert clearly didn’t want to kill Anthony, I could tell from his scowl that the effort to keep him alive was quickly becoming more trouble than it was worth, especially when he ducked a fraction too slow, allowing Anthony’s thermite to singe the tips of his hair.
Between Anthony’s suit and Rupert’s speed, there was no way I could take time to line up a shot without my targeting system. Even with my computers, I’d probably have been too slow. But I’ve never needed a computer to shoot straight, so I took a deep breath and watched the fight, trusting my instincts until, in a flash, I saw my opening.
I fired before I could think, squeezing the trigger on reflex. I braced for the kick a second later, but it never came. The disrupter pistol didn’t even twitch in my hands. What it did was get fantastically hot, singeing my hand so fast I couldn’t have dropped it if I’d wanted to. But though the pain was intense, I was too distracted to care, because a second after I fired, Anthony’s thermite sword exploded.
Ignited thermite was a finicky thing. There was almost nothing you couldn’t slice with the stuff, which was why I loved it, but its power was also its weakness. In order to keep that crazy cutting edge, the thermite had to maintain an even temperature: too cold and it went brittle, too hot and it got unstable. But I remembered from Rashid that a disrupter pistol was a heat weapon, and though I’d known it wouldn’t do shit against Anthony’s suit, his thermite blade was another matter entirely. One shot of extreme heat was all it took to shatter it completely.