by Mary Hooper
Mistress Midge, invited to share this dilemma, suggested that some artificial flowers might suit and brought out a grand old hat of hers with a spray of roses on the side. When we removed these and pinned them on to the blue dress, however, they merely made it look shabby – and the only sashes that either of us had were in such dull workaday colours that they did not enhance either gown. I therefore put the matter to one side, thinking that I might find the very thing: some feathers or a lace collar, on a peddler’s tray at the morning market. But how should I dress my hair? The ladies of the Court wore an array of head coverings: little velvet caps, nets of pearls, feathers, stiffened hoods, coifs of linen spangled with silver – so anything might be put on one’s head and not look out of place. Perhaps a wide ribband tied in a bow would suffice?
The next day dawned bright and looked like staying dry, which at least meant that I’d be able to walk to the palace without the hem of my gown getting covered in mud, and wouldn’t need to wear clumsy pattens over my shoes. Completing all my duties at lightning speed, I sought Mistress Midge’s permission to go to market and was just about to leave, Sonny beside me carrying my basket, when I glanced out of the window and saw, to my absolute horror and disbelief, Dr Dee at the other end of Green Lane!
I shrieked for Mistress Midge and she joined me at the window, where we saw Dr Dee walking slowly alongside a man pushing a handcart filled with boxes, rope-nets of books and small pieces of furniture, and, seated on top, Merryl and Beth. Craning my neck I could just see that this cart was followed by a plain horse-drawn carriage, which had Mr Kelly seated in the front beside the driver, and Mistresses Dee and Allen huddled behind.
‘Lord preserve us!’ Mistress Midge said. ‘They must have come downriver on a wherry overnight!’
‘But why didn’t they warn us?’
‘To try and catch us out, no doubt!’ Mistress Midge gave a scream. ‘We must put the house to rights, lay down fresh rushes, stock the larder, prepare dinner, make up the beds and beat the Turkey carpets!’
‘What about me?’ Sonny piped up, but neither of us took much notice.
‘They’ve stopped at the other end of the lane,’ Mistress Midge said. ‘The girls are jumping down and going into a house.’
‘Oh!’ I exclaimed. ‘They think the house is the other end of Green Lane.’
‘What about me?’ Sonny asked again. ‘Where shall I hide?’ We looked at him and gave sudden gasps as we remembered that we weren’t supposed to have him there. ‘I don’t like that Mr Kelly,’ he went on plaintively. ‘He said he’d skin me alive if he ever saw me again.’
‘Lord!’ said Mistress Midge. ‘What are we going to do with you, lad?’
I shook my head, worried, for we couldn’t just push him out of the door and leave him to fare on his own. I looked out of the window again. ‘Dr Dee is going inside the house now. That will give us a few moments’ grace before they realise their mistake.’
‘To do what, though?’
‘To spirit Sonny away!’ I said. I hadn’t really had time to think through any of my ideas, so I’d just have to hope for the best. But before I began doing so …
I ran into my room and, leaving my blouse and loose jacket intact, slipped out of my everyday kirtle, put on breeches and a flat cap and emerged as a boy. Then, bidding Mistress Midge to tell the Dee family that I’d gone shopping afar – to the poultry market at Leadenhall – Sonny and I left the house in the way which was fast becoming normal for me: out of the kitchen door and across the back courtyards.
Sonny pulled at my hand. ‘You’re not taking me back to Christ’s Horspiddle!’
‘No, I promise I’m not.’
‘Where are we going, then?’
‘Somewhere you like,’ I said, for I was sure he did, and holding his hand tightly I pushed my way through the sunny squares, markets, dark back-alleys and slums of the city, to make our way to the Curtain Theatre at Shoreditch.
When we arrived the company were rehearsing, so we sat quietly at the side of the stage while Mr James entreated an assortment of sprites and spectres to ‘flutter and fly, flap and float!’ from one side of the stage to the other. As several of these ethereal beings were heavily built and considerably weightier on their feet than the real thing might have been, the sound of their pounding on the floorboards was similar to that of heavy horses. Mr James made them leap and twist in the air this way and that, however, wave their arms gracefully and endeavour to give the impression that they were flying, but it took some stretching of one’s imagination for this illusion to be achieved.
This over, Mr James greeted me effusively, declaring that I had arrived just in time and could have a role that very evening. ‘My dear boy, you are so slim and elegant of figure that you will make an excellent sprite!’ He stood back and looked me up and down. ‘Indeed, you must be queen of all the sprites!’
‘I fear I cannot,’ I said. ‘My employer has newly arrived in London and I must return to my …’ I stopped dead, for in the midst of all the excitement of the Dees’ arrival, I’d forgotten that I was to attend the palace that evening. How was I going to get out?
‘Then why have you come?’
‘I … I wanted to ask if you would take on my brother as an apprentice,’ I said, pushing Sonny forward.
Sonny looked at Mr James, awestruck, and then at me.
‘He’s a very good boy,’ I said to Mr James. ‘Most willing, and a hard worker. He can turn his hand to anything. Mistress Hunt likes him and I wondered if he could help with the costumes, or sell tickets, perhaps, or fetch and carry when you’re performing outside.’
‘But don’t your parents need him at home?’
I’d thought of this. ‘Father’s dead,’ I said truthfully, ‘and Ma can’t afford to keep him.’
‘I suppose he can’t read …’
I shook my head. ‘But he’s very quick to learn.’
‘We do take on children sometimes,’ Mr James said, walking round and round Sonny and looking him up and down. He lifted a strand of hair, seeking signs of infestation, and nodded approvingly when he found none. ‘He seems a sturdy little chap.’ I nodded, for Sonny had indeed grown quite rotund since coming to live with us. ‘I hope he doesn’t eat too much?’
I crossed my fingers behind my back. ‘Hardly at all. He has the appetite of a shrew.’
He nodded. ‘Good. Well, if he wants to learn our trade he’s welcome to join us by day and bunk down at night with the other two youngsters under the stage.’ He addressed Sonny, ‘How would that suit you, lad?’
Sonny gave a deep bow from the waist, making me feel immensely proud of him. ‘It would suit me very well indeed, my noble Sire!’ he said grandly.
‘Then you may take this young man to Mistress Hunt and leave him to her careful ministrations,’ said Mr James, and I did this, promising Sonny that both Mistress Midge and I would visit often and bring him food – for he was concerned that, in view of what I’d said about his appetite, he wouldn’t get enough to eat.
In the rush I’d not thought to take coins out with me but, not wanting to return home from the ‘poultry market’ empty-handed, went to a local poulterer I knew gave us credit, and took a fine Aylesbury duck to the house on Green Lane. Arriving back, I found a different Mistress Midge. Since we’d been in London with no one to oversee us I’d lived alongside an easy-going woman, but with the sudden arrival of the Dees, the old Midge – a scowling, harassed harridan – was back. She had, however, thought to hide my kirtle and, as I peered around the back door, hissed at me to go to the privy and change before coming into the house. I did so, and also removed my cap, smoothed my hair and put aside my laddish swagger to assume a more maidenly aspect.
‘Are they all well?’ I asked in a whisper.
She grunted.
‘Why did they give us no warning?’
‘Just like I said: to try and catch us out,’ said Mistress Midge. She was chopping vegetables and stopped to fan herself. ‘I thank the Lord
I wasn’t seated outside, a-selling of my mice. And to think they could have found you up and acting with your players!’ She frowned at me. ‘But what have you done with Sonny?’
‘That’s just where I’ve taken him: to the players, where he’s set to learn a trade upon the stage,’ I told her. ‘And I promised him that we’d visit as soon as we could.’
‘Lord knows when that will be,’ she said in a fierce whisper, ‘for they’ve not stopped giving commands and issuing instructions in all the two hours they’ve been here. Their voices are ringing in my ears!’
‘What shall I do about tonight?’ I asked anxiously. ‘How shall –’ I stopped as Beth and Merryl suddenly hurtled into the room and flung their arms around me.
‘Where were you? We’ve missed you! What have you been doing? Is it exciting living here?’
I hugged them back. ‘It is,’ I said. I paused for reflection. ‘Sometimes a little too exciting.’
Glancing past them into the hall I now saw what appeared to be the contents of the hand-cart tumbled on to the floor in an untidy heap, awaiting attention.
‘You are to sleep in our room!’ said Beth.
Merryl tugged at my hand. ‘Yes, you’re sleeping with us now! You must come and make up the beds.’
‘Wait! Make up the bed in the mistress’s chamber first!’ Mistress Midge called. ‘The poor lady has not travelled well and is sick. And then get fresh straw, stuff a mattress for Mr Kelly and put it in the blue room …’
I shot her an anguished look. ‘Mr Kelly is staying here?’
She returned the same look. ‘Unfortunately, his own lodgings are not yet ready.’
As she spoke the door to the study opened and the man himself appeared, wearing a stained travelling gown and looking disgruntled. ‘Is the girl yet returned?’ he called, then saw me and snorted. ‘About time. Dr Dee and I are waiting for our books to be brought in.’
‘Yes, Sir,’ I murmured, and curtseyed in the slightest, most perfunctory manner possible.
Speaking to Merryl and Beth, I found that the girls had been well looked after by Isabelle, who’d not only cared for them and cooked for the family, but had also bawled out the two village girls when they’d eventually arrived, and made them return the several items of kitchen equipment that they’d stolen.
‘We saw your mother again,’ Beth said as I shook out bed linen. ‘Isabelle told her that we were leaving for London, and she came round to speak to Papa.’
‘She’s living in our house now,’ Merryl said, ‘sleeping in your room!’
‘Is she?’ I said, and smiled with pleasure at the thought of Ma tucked into my own little bed at the magician’s house. She’d sleep soundly there, I knew, for she was a sensible woman. She would not be troubled by skulls, bird corpses or floating ally-gators.
Mistress Midge and I did not stop working all day, but went from one job to the next, with much muttering, swearing and blaspheming on Mistress Midge’s part and not a little on my own. We missed Sonny doing the heavy jobs: the chopping of firewood, the collecting of water and the sweeping of floors, and also discovered that the family had saved up all the tiresome tasks we hadn’t been around to do in Mortlake and brought them to London for us. I didn’t get a moment to go down to the local market for dress trimmings and, from supper time onwards, was in an agony of concern not only about how I was going to put on my finery (which I’d decided would have to be the green velvet), but how I was going to attend the palace at all. I found a moment to ask Mistress Midge’s advice, and was answered by her throwing her apron over her head and calling down a plague upon me for giving her more problems.
After supper that evening, the house settled a little. Dr Dee and Mr Kelly were in the study, Milady and Mistress Allen were upstairs conversing in low and serious tones (for I could hear their murmurs through the floorboards), while I sat with Beth and Merryl, uneasily telling them stories of when I was a girl in the country while listening to the watch mark the hours.
At seven of the clock I knew something must be done. Darkness had fallen, but it was still too early for the three of us to retire to bed – and anyway, as I was sleeping with the girls I couldn’t hope to escape until they were fast asleep. And I had to put on my best gown, for I could hardly appear before the queen and Court in my grease-spotted kirtle. I paced about, chewed my lip, tried to remember the tale I was supposed to be telling and paced about some more. I had to get out of the house. I had to …
‘Shall we play dressing up?’ I asked the girls in sudden desperation.
‘Dressing up …’ Merryl repeated curiously. ‘What is that?’
‘It’s just a game,’ I said. ‘Like blind man’s buff or ducking apples. The actors in plays do it. You have to dress as … as different people.’
‘But I hate being pinned and unpinned,’ Merryl said.
‘Then I’ll dress up,’ I said. ‘I’ll put on my best gown and you can try and guess who I’m supposed to be.’
‘I still can’t see why,’ Beth said.
‘But if you wish,’ her sister added politely.
We went to our bedchamber and I took the green velvet gown out of its box and endeavoured to shake out its creases. Beth and Merryl sat on their bed, staring, bewildered, as I first pinned the sleeves on to the bodice, then stepped into the petticoats and kirtle and fastened them around me. Pinned to my satisfaction, I walked up and down a little (for my ankle had improved greatly from Mistress Midge’s herbal remedy and now hardly pained me at all).
‘This is my finest gown,’ I said to the girls. ‘What do you think? Do I look like a nursemaid, or do I look like a lady at Court?’
Beth frowned. ‘Well, a little bit like a lady …’
I took a ribband, fashioned it into a bow and fastened it into my hair. ‘Now, does this look very fine?’
‘Quite fine,’ Beth said, head on one side.
‘You need some jewels to be a real lady!’ Merryl said suddenly. ‘And an embroidered bolero and a feathered fan. And satin shoes and a pomander on a chain.’
I shrugged, suddenly feeling despondent. ‘Those things I do not possess.’
‘Well, never mind,’ Beth said, ‘because you are only a maid.’
‘What happens when you play this dressing up?’ Merryl asked. ‘When do you change back to yourself again?’
‘Oh, a bit later,’ I said. Stomach churning, I wondered exactly what the hour was, and at what time I was supposed to be at the palace, for Tomas hadn’t thought to inform me of this. Oh, why was everything such a mess and a muddle?
Suddenly, the handbell rang from the study.
‘Papa wants something,’ Beth said.
I took off my hair decoration and went through to the hall to find Mr Kelly shaking the handbell for the second time. From within the study I heard Dr Dee’s voice chanting something – one strange, foreign-sounding word – over and over.
‘Quickly, quickly! Our fire is almost out!’ Mr Kelly said, not seeming to notice I was in all my finery. ‘It seems you have been growing negligent in these weeks out of your master’s sight.’
I curtseyed and murmured something which might have been Sorry, Sir, but was actually an impolite expression I’d heard one of the watermen use.
‘Come on, girl!’ he said, clapping his hands.
I turned to go and get wood from the kitchen, but at that moment there was a knock on the door.
‘Answer that,’ said Mr Kelly, although he was standing right beside it.
The chanting from Dr Dee stopped. ‘Quickly with the firewood,’ he called from within. ‘’Tis damned cold in here.’
I hesitated a moment, then opened the front door to discover – to my enormous surprise – a man wearing the royal colours and a livery badge. Mr Kelly saw him at the same time and elbowed me out of the way, bowing and asking in a fawning way if he might be of service.
‘I have instructions to bring a Mistress Lucy to the palace,’ the man said, while I stood, amazed and immobile.
‘I have instructions to convey her hence,’ the man said.
Dr Dee appeared. ‘What is it? Does the queen want me?’
‘I fear not, Sire,’ the carrier said. ‘I come for Mistress Lucy.’
I suddenly found the means to speak. ‘I am Mistress Lucy.’
‘Then, Madam, may we proceed?’ said the carrier.
‘Of course,’ I said grandly, and without more ado stepped under Mr Kelly’s arm, curtseyed to my employer, then climbed on to the litter (one bearer at the front, two at the back) which had been placed on the cobbles. I had a wool rug tucked around me and two cushions were placed at my back.
‘Aloft!’ the bearer called, and I felt myself lifted rather unsteadily into the air.
I glanced back at the house, gave my girls (now at the door also) a goodbye wave, and felt myself propelled forwards at some speed.
I lacked a fancy hat and had neither satin shoes, pomander nor fashionable outfit – but nevertheless, was on my way to the palace …
Chapter Twenty
I would, I decided, concern myself later about what Dr Dee and Mr Kelly might have to say regarding my being collected by a royal litter, for I was so very excited by what had happened, so full of anticipation, that I did not want to think on anything which might spoil the occasion. The curtains on my litter were open, so I sat back and, once used to the unsteady motion, enjoyed my new elevated aspect, the indoor scenes viewed through undraped windows and the envious glances of those we passed on foot. As we neared the Strand the houses grew more stately, with countless candles lit within, and I could scarcely take in their costly interiors, their tapestries, paintings and polished furniture quickly enough.