by Nikki Duncan
Burke had been in surgery for nearly three hours when a sweet-looking, older couple came in and sat in another corner about an hour ago. They held hands and leaned against one another, but never said a word. She might’ve asked why they were there, if the new foundation of her world wasn’t shaking.
The interminable waiting grated her nerves quicker than an electric meat grinder. What could be taking so long? Why weren’t they finished yet?
She alternated between pacing and sitting, twisting her ring the whole time. She’d thought about going for a drink, but didn’t want to leave the room and risk missing the doctor.
Not that they seemed concerned about her fear growing with each minute. Yeah okay, so their attention was good for BD, but it sucked for her.
“Young lady,” the older man said, “whatever it is, pacing won’t make it better.”
The man she loved was having a bullet dug out of his chest and some stranger wanted her to sit still? She started to give him her opinion, but bit back her nasty remark since they more than likely didn’t come to the hospital in the middle of the night for a good time. “Forgive me.”
She sat and fidgeted with her ring. Her knees bounced. Her skin crawled as images of Burke bleeding on her floor flashed in her mind. Shaking her head, she tried to dislodge the image. It wouldn’t budge. The sight of his blood still on her hands brought it all back.
Come on, Burke. As if he could hear her thoughts, she cried out to him in her mind. You have to get through this. I need you.
“Is your husband here?”
Maggie shook her head at the woman’s question, but couldn’t sit still. Lurching from her seat, she straightened the chairs and magazines on the tables she’d already straightened several times. “My husband’s dead.”
“I’m sorry.” The woman’s blue eyes glittered with sadness as she moved toward Maggie. She had a kind face, but Maggie wasn’t interested in chit chat. “I know how hard it is to lose someone you love.”
Maggie gripped the back of a chair until her knuckles turned white. She’d lost her husband and Burke’s life lingered in jeopardy. She pointed to the man gripping the woman’s hand. “That your husband?”
“For fifty years next month.” Pride and love shone in her eyes.
“Then you don’t know what I’ve lost.” Or stand to lose again. Maggie swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I have a pretty good idea.” The woman slid her arm around Maggie’s waist and led her to a chair. “My son lost his wife a couple of years ago. I watched grief rip at him the way fear’s ripping through you now.”
Maggie choked back her tears and studied the woman. Her tender touch sent familiar warmth through Maggie’s heart. Familiar cobalt eyes met her own. “You’re Burke’s mom.”
Surprise flickered in her eyes. “You know my son?”
Maggie found herself regaining the control she’d felt slipping further and further from her grasp. “He moved into my house last weekend.”
“Maggie.” The woman squeezed her hand. Pleasure, despite the circumstances, lit up her face. “I’m Sydney Harte. My husband, Tommy.”
The man moved to sit on the other side of Maggie. His smile soothed her nerves as easily as Burke’s could. “I wish I could’ve met you under better circumstances, but I’m glad you’re here for him.”
“Tell me, Mrs. Sullivan.” Tommy sat back and smiled. “Do you know how BD got shot? We haven’t been able to talk to Craig long enough for details.”
Her heart clutched. These people loved Burke. As nice as they seemed to be, they wouldn’t welcome her after hearing what role she’d played in his ending up in an operating room. So fine. She’d see for herself he was recovering and leave them alone.
“Yes.” She ignored her fear and told them about Adalia. The more she talked about it, about the time spent with Burke, the more she relaxed. The image of him bleeding on her floor receded to the background. Images of the ways he’d kissed her, made love to her and taunted her to keep her distracted from the crap going on around her moved to the forefront. He’d been her hero from the start.
A doctor dressed in blue scrubs, a paper hat and shoe covers stepped into the room and ambled toward them. Exhaustion stamped his face. Her heart rate kicked up.
Sydney and Tommy stood as a unit, obviously ready for whatever news they would hear. Maggie moved to the side, keeping enough distance between herself and Burke’s family to be reminded she wasn’t a part of the inner circle. They mattered most.
Sydney turned and reached a hand out to her. A simple gesture from a virtual stranger erased her loneliness. Swallowing another wave of tears struggling to break free, she stepped forward to join his parents. No wonder she’d fallen in love with Burke.
The doctor pulled his scrub cap off his head. His kind brown eyes were pinched with fatigue. “BD’s in recovery and will be moved to a room shortly. He’ll be with us for a few days, but he’ll be fine.”
“How much damage?” Tommy asked.
“The bullet punctured a lung. He’ll have a chest tube while that heals. It missed his ribs, but we had to sew some muscle back together.”
Tommy continued asking the doctor questions. Burke’s parents had been kind to include her, but she needed out. Now. Ignoring the tension building in her neck and shoulders, Maggie eased out of the room. Just a quick peek to see for herself he was okay and she’d be out of their way.
She rounded a corner and ran into a young nurse. Maggie forced a smile she didn’t feel, nodded politely, and headed toward the recovery room. Stepping into a large room, she saw several empty beds. Burke lay in one close to the door. Covering her mouth, she stood at the end of his bed and let the relief he was alive wash over her.
His skin was almost as pale as the sheets, but he had more color than he had while lying on her floor. Tubes running from his chest and arms were taped to his skin. A monitor beside the bed beeped and showed his vitals. He looked like hell, but he was breathing and slept peacefully thanks to meds. That’s all that mattered.
Moving to his side, careful not to touch any of the tubes sticking out of him, she brushed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Burke. More than I thought possible.”
BD dreamt of Maggie bent over him, saying she loved him, asking him to stay with her. Somewhere in the midst of all the pain and disjointed sounds and smells of the hospital he’d been enveloped by the warm scent of vanilla. The brush of her lips on his hadn’t been imagined. The jolt of awareness that had shot through his achy body had been real. He’d just been unable to move, open his eyes, or speak.
Now, he had nothing but time on his hands. Time he spent sleeping, trying to convince his family he was all right, and torturing himself with the memory of Maggie.
She had grabbed his interest and captured his heart before he could stop her. She’d been at the hospital during his surgery, but had stayed away since. Why? Did she plan on coming back?
He wanted to yank the tube out of his chest and go find the answers for himself. An attempt to sit up in bed had his chest burning until he admitted defeat and slumped back. Damn Adalia.
“You know, Detective Harte. You’ll heal faster if you stop moving so much.”
He shrugged at his nurse. Then he winced, because as usual he moved the wrong shoulder. Beth Sanders was cute, something men in hospital beds wanted, but he only wanted to see one woman. “The walls start to close in on you after awhile. Even the windows don’t help.”
“Perhaps knowing you’re being released tomorrow will?” She moved to his side and helped him adjust the pillows behind him. “Better?”
He nodded. “What time?”
“We’ll get the tubes off you this afternoon. If all goes well the paperwork should be ready in the morning.”
“Good.” With a light at the end of the tunnel he could plan his attack on Maggie.
She wasn’t going to get away with invading every square inch of him, turning him inside out, and then walking away. He’d given up o
n his happily ever after and stopped reaching out to people. She’d shown him he couldn’t stop living and fighting.
“Now rest.” Beth jotted notes on his chart and headed for the door. “Visiting hours start soon and I’m sure your family will break the rules on the number of visitors.”
He settled back against the pillows, knowing she hadn’t really tried to enforce the rule. It wouldn’t have held up against his parents, Craig, his sister Laurel and her husband John. The downer of their visits was they couldn’t bring his niece. He missed seeing her.
A short time later as Beth predicted, the crew that was his family showed up to crowd his room again and keep his mind occupied. Searching their faces as they came in, he missed the face of the woman who’d captured his heart, and terrified him to the bone with her courage.
“If I didn’t know better,” Laurel said with a smirk, “I’d think you didn’t like me. You always frown when we come in.”
“Sorry. I was sort of hoping to see someone else.” Or that he could escape the four walls and medical chains of his prison. He adored his sister, but hers wasn’t the face he needed to see.
Splitting up, his mom took one side of the bed and Laurel claimed the other. His dad and John nodded and settled in the two chairs in the room. They’d settled into the routine the first day of letting Mom and Laurel fuss while they watched whatever he had the TV tuned to, and that was never exciting because he didn’t give a damn about anything on TV.
“I think,” Mom said, “he’s waiting for a beautiful woman to come kiss his wounds.”
His mind perked. Alert. Hopeful. Had they talked to Maggie? Did they know why she was staying away? “I wouldn’t complain. Do you have one in mind?”
“Your nurse is cute enough,” Dad put in.
“A little young I think.” Not to mention he apparently liked them with an edge of temper these days.
“Young’s good, she’ll have lots of energy.”
“I might consider her if she’d let me have some decent food.” Or if she aroused him by walking in a room. Forming a plan, knowing he needed his dad’s help with the first phase, he winced as he looked between his mom and Laurel. “This hospital crap blows.”
“You rest.” Mom brushed her hand over his arm.
“We’ll go get you something,” Laurel said. “John, you have the keys?”
“Yeah,” John grinned and rolled his eyes behind Laurel. His brother-in-law made his sister happy with his quiet support, and he had an uncanny way of knowing what people needed. “I’ll drive.”
Dad chuckled after everyone left. “It isn’t nice to use their concern.”
“They’ll forgive me.”
“That they will.” Dad moved to sit on the foot of the bed. “So what’s up?”
“I need you to go to the bank for me.”
Dad stroked his chin like he always did when he suspected something. “You going to do some shopping in here?”
“I need Granny’s ring from my safe deposit box. You’re on the list to be granted access.”
“Would this have anything to do with a lovely young woman with brown hair and chocolate eyes?”
“You’ve seen Maggie?” Forgetting his pain, he straightened in the bed. “Was she here? What’d she say? How did she look?”
Dad laughed and pushed him back down. “She was in the waiting room while you were in surgery. She left when she heard you were all right.”
And hadn’t been back, but he’d swear he heard her say she loved him. The pain meds they had him on didn’t cause hallucinations. She had to be real. “How did she look?”
“Scared and worried. Tell me about her.”
“She’s…” The words he needed escaped him. He couldn’t think of a way to do her justice. She’d been in his soul, her face, her soft touch, her encouraging voice, giving him a reason to fight back when his body begged him to let go. “She rescued me from a depressing life by showing me there are still things worth fighting for. I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
“Really? What happened to your vow never to love again? And Craig mentioned she has kids.”
“She’s it for me. And her kids.” BD relaxed deeper into the bed knowing she was okay. “I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid. I can’t let her go without a fight.”
“Your mother and sister will be thrilled. I liked her.”
“I love her.” He rubbed his fingers over his lips, sure the memory of her touch made them tingle again.
“I’ll get you the ring before we leave town.”
“You’re going home?”
“We have to. I have a court case I can’t miss, and John needs to get back to his clients.”
“The day’s work for a judge.” Missing his family even before they left, BD sighed. “One last favor, Dad. Don’t mention this to anyone just yet. Maggie’s had a rough road and may take some convincing.”
He hadn’t given her any reason to think he would stick around when the case was over. And with the way he’d treated her at times, he no doubt had a lot of work to do to make things right with her. He would start as soon as he got out of this bed and found a way to make her listen.
Maggie turned the car off and rested her head on the steering wheel. She doubted the country air would do much to clear her confusion, but she’d needed to escape. The farm was the first place to come to mind.
Walking to the tree where her favorite bench now sat in shambles, she saw the lights at her parents’ home. They’d be settling in with a bowl of popcorn to watch the news as if the depressing broadcast was great entertainment. They were weird at times, but they were a team who faced everything together. She wanted that.
Sitting on the ground with one of the bench legs across her lap, breathing in the night air, she thought about the last year. Everything she and her kids had been through. The things she’d learned about herself, including the new inner strength she’d come to recognize.
In the moonlight shining through the tree branches, she rubbed the ring on her finger. “Oh, Mike. Moving on shouldn’t hurt this bad. But I fell in love with a man who risks his life every day, and that scares me.”
For the first time in her life, she felt completely alone. No one would tell her what to do this time. Breathing deeply, she fought back the tears and refused to feel sorry for herself. She was a big girl and could make her own decisions. “How am I supposed to deal with this? What if I lose him like I lost you?”
“Does he ever answer?”
Jumping at the hushed sound of her dad’s voice, she looked up with her hand on her chest. “Sheesh, Dad. Do you have to sneak around?”
“I’m not the one coming onto the property at night without calling first.” He sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “What are you doing here?”
“Thinking.”
She’d sat here with her dad after Mike had died. He’d listened silently while she told him about the accident and all her fears of the future. Thinking back on it, she felt more like crying now than she had then—because she realized how much Burke had changed her from the first moment.
She hadn’t needed to cry over Mike once Burke had let her weep. His tenderness had helped her find the control she’d needed to survive. Then he’d shown back up and made her want things she’d never believed existed, and was afraid to hope she could have.
“What’s going on, Maggie?”
“Burke gets out of the hospital in the morning.”
“I heard.” Dad laid his cheek on her head and squeezed her close. “That’s good.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Rubbing her arms, he gave her the comfort he’d always offered. “You’re scared of loving him.”
She closed her eyes and willed the tears not to fall. She sniffled when they did anyway. “This was all just another day on the job for him. I don’t even know if he intends to come back.”
“Maggie.”
She laughed despite her mood. Good ole Dan Malone, always able to pin
her thoughts without an effort and call her bullshit with one heavily toned word. She never stood a chance of hiding things from him, had given up most of her attempts years ago.
He sat her away, grabbed her chin and then made her look at him. “Stop doubting yourself and BD. What you could have together.”
“I’m…”
“Scared. Worried about getting close and losing him.” Dad kissed her nose. “And you worry about your kids and how they’ll adjust if he stays.”
“Yeah.” Unable to sit, Maggie rose and walked a few feet away. She stood a good chance of having to live without Burke. If not now, then at any time because of his job.
“What do you see when you look in BD’s eyes? How did you feel when you were with him?”
She thought about how to put her answer into words. “I feel safe and special. I’d like to think I see the future.”
“Then you can’t live in fear of what might happen.” He moved to her, placed his hands on her shoulders, and turned her toward him. “Only you can decide if he’s the right choice for you. And yes, a life with him will be tough at times because of his job. You’ve already lived through some heavy stuff with him.”
“So am I supposed to pretend his work doesn’t bother me?”
“No. If he’s the right man, you owe it to him to shoot straight. Trust him.”
There’d been a lot of discussions about trust with him. “Why can’t I find a man like you? One without a dangerous job?”
“You had that. Mike’s job is not what kept him safe, and Burke’s isn’t necessarily what he’ll die from. Life happens with or without us. It guarantees us nothing.”
“That doesn’t help me much.” She had more questions than answers. Dad always had a strange way of helping.
“Then ask yourself how much he means to you. Think about what your life was like without him, and how it might be with him. And know whatever you decide, we all approve.” He kissed her forehead before walking away.
A tear slid down her cheek as she watched her dad disappear in the darkness. Even if she could accept Burke’s job, nothing said he wanted a long-term relationship with her. He was a special man, and though he tried so hard at times to be an arrogant jerk, deep down he was kind. Hot. Passionate. Amazing in so many ways.