Something catches his eye and he gives me this grin. “I don’t know, man, look at that girl there,” he says, pointing to the crowd walking by. When they clear all that’s left is one girl reading in the lounge. “She looks better than damn near perfect.” I smile at her and she smiles back, giving me a small shy wave.
“That’s Fate,” I say proudly and Scott’s mouth drops open.
“You’re screwing with me,” he says while he looks for any of the signs that I’m lying.
“I wish I were. That’s her and now you see why I’m screwed.” He just keeps looking at her and I feel something I’ve never felt before. Jealousy.
“Oh, you are so fucking screwed. That girl is going to chew you up and spit you out for fun, but I’d risk it for a chance with that,” he says plainly.
“If you keep checking out my girl I’m going to tell Cecilia and I won’t have to worry about you trying to get my girl because there won’t be any of you left after Cecilia is done with you.” Scott shakes his head as if he’s trying to clear it. That asshole better not be thinking about Fate.
“Okay, I’m done. Don’t tell Cecilia,” Scott says jokingly. He might be talking a big game, but he loves her more than life itself. He’d do anything for her and he’d never screw that up.
“Don’t tell Cecilia what?” We are both startled and there is Cecilia, staring at us. She knows she’s just caught us with our hands in the cookie jar.
“That someone has taken Cameron’s man card and he doesn’t even want it back,” he says to her as she takes a seat with us. Cecilia and Scott have been together since they were fifteen. They are that couple that everyone hates because they make their relationships look like dog shit in comparison.
“This I have to hear,” she says enthusiastically, and Scott fills her in on everything I told him. “So what is it that broke this girl?” she asks and I’m not sure what to say. Not because I don’t know. I have some ideas, but I’m not sure I want to share that part of Fate. I want her to trust me.
“I think someone hurt her. I’m not sure how, though. She can’t be touched, so if you guys come around don’t try to. It’s really bad and she can’t handle it.” Scott is stunned, but Cecilia just nods. “I’m going to help her.”
“Well, just don’t go falling for her,” Scott states while Cecilia just keeps looking between Fate and me as we keep going back and forth, catching each other staring.
“I think that advice might be a little too late, Scott,” Cecilia says and that catches my attention.
“What are you talking about, Cecilia?” Could I already be falling for Fate? “I just met her.”
“That doesn’t matter and you know it. Sometimes there are just people who get right in under your skin from day one or like that one pebble that stands out in the river. You just know it’s for you.”
“Pebbles and rivers. Well, if you talk that way around her, she will have lots to talk about,” I say plainly and she gives me a perplexed look. “She has a thing for nature. Not like hippie shit, but she’s into wildlife, fish and marine animals particularly it would seem.”
“Well, she loves animals, maybe that’s why she can’t stop staring at you,” she says and my eyes quickly dart to Fate’s. Cecilia was right, she is watching me. When she notices I caught her, she looks down at her book. I see that she is blushing as she discreetly pulls her hair down to try and cover the evidence.
“Fuck, you’re right, Cecilia,” I say as I realize that I’m overjoyed that I am having that effect on Fate. I’m already falling for this girl and I don’t even know her secrets. I don’t give a flying fuck what they are either. From everything I’m already feeling, I know that this isn’t just some girl to me. “How did that happen?”
“Sometimes you have no control over things. Someone will come into your life and you lose yourself.” I look at her because I’m confused by whatever the hell she’s trying to say. “You have no control because that ‘right’ someone comes in and they take it all. That ‘right’ girl for you might just be Fate.” Glancing back at Fate, I see her looking at me again and she quickly diverts her eyes again. Damn, she’s right. That girl is Fate.
“He is just needing to get laid. He hasn’t got any since Fate caught him banging the neighbor. He almost put the chick through the wall just to prove he wasn’t a big man whore like the media says he is,” Scott replies, and Cecilia gives me a disapproving look.
“Are you stupid? Seriously, sometimes you only think with your dick, Cameron. You better not do that with this girl or you are going to lose her and I’m sure someone else will gladly take your place,” she says with a smirk, and I scowl at her. “Look around for yourself. Men notice her even though she’s trying to blend in. That girl was born to stand out and if you mess this up there will be a line of men to take your spot.” Looking around, I notice Cecilia is right. The guys are watching her and she doesn’t even notice that some are trying to get her attention. Cecilia stands up and grabs her bag.
“Where are you going?” I ask her.
“I’m going to meet Fate because clearly she needs a friend who she can talk to about all the shit you put her through.” With that, she takes off in Fate’s direction and all I can do is sit and watch.
Chapter Nine
He’s like no one I have ever seen before. I can’t stop watching him from across the room. When he caught me a moment ago staring at him, I felt my whole face go red. I almost got up and went back to the apartment. To be honest, the only reason I stayed was because I didn’t want to give up the view. If he was in the apartment, that’s where I’d be right now because I enjoy watching him more than anything. He’s a mystery to me and I feel drawn to him in a way I never have before.
Taking a quick look up again, I see the girl who was sitting there get up and make her way toward me. Crap. He probably has a girlfriend and I’ve just pissed her off with my unwanted interest in him. When she approaches me, I wait for it, but she just stands there. “Well, come on, I don’t want to stand here all day,” she says to me and I feel lost. What am I supposed to be doing?
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” I reply.
“Pack your stuff, you’re coming to sit with us.” Her words shock me.
“Shouldn’t you be running me off or is this one of those keep your enemies close things?” I say to her, and she just laughs.
“I see what he likes about you, but I’m still not quite sure what the hell you are talking about.” She is striking. No wonder she’s not worried about me, I’m nowhere near competition to this girl. Her hair is a chocolate brown and curly, cascading all around her, framing her face nicely. She has matching brown eyes that pop out and her body is one most people have to work very hard for. Everything about her looks perfect.
“I’m sorry if it bothers you that your boyfriend has a female roommate. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, but I do now and I can assure you I will not interfere,” I say, trying to show her I’m just being friendly. Maybe we can all be friends, even though I think it would break me to watch him be with another girl.
“He banged the neighbor so loudly that you had to yell at them to shut the hell up. Trust me, we are not together. I’m with the band’s drummer, Scott. He’s the one sitting next to him. But I know all about you. Let me tell you, if anyone can play the ‘I’m his girlfriend’ card that would appear to be you from the way he keeps watching you.” My mouth falls open at her candor. “He’s a fuck up, but we keep him anyway. So get your shit, girly, you’re coming to sit with us and you might as well get used to it.”
Quickly, I gather my things up because honestly I’m worried if I don’t this girl will just drag me over there. Once I’m done, she nods toward the table, and I begin walking over there with her. Cameron is watching me the entire time and I can’t seem to pull my gaze from his. When I get up to the table Cameron pulls out the chair beside him and motions for me to take the seat next to him. “Oh, and I’m Cecilia. We’re friends now and yes you can call me anytime t
o tell me he’s a jackass.” Scott just laughs and leans over, giving Cecilia a kiss as she sits down next to him. Scott has jet-black hair and these crystal green eyes. He’s not as lean as Cameron, but he’s definitely not bad to look at. He and Cecilia match in every level of beauty. I glance sideways, catching Cameron’s eyes again and I feel as if he is constantly watching me. Smiling at him, I can’t help the happiness he has been bringing me.
“Hey,” he says to me, and I can’t help the warmth that floods my cheeks.
“Hey,” I reply, and he just gives me that smirk I’ve started to enjoy.
“Awe, look, they just did that cute awkward ‘hey’ thing,” Scott says and then his face scrunches up in pain as I hear him get kicked under the table by Cameron while Cecilia elbows him in the chest at the same time. “You both suck and that hurt like hell. Fine, I will try something else. I’ve heard a lot about you but not everything I want to know. How old are you, Fate?” he says, and I’m not sure exactly what to say.
“Eighteen,” I answer, and Scott spits out his coffee everywhere. “I turned eighteen right before school started,” I blurt out. Scott is a bit pale. Glancing over at Cameron, I see that he is just watching this with amusement.
“Robbing the cradle much, man,” Scott says, and I have to look away from them. It never crossed my mind that age may be an issue.
“No, I just know what I like,” Cameron says, and I glance up, seeing him give Scott a disapproving look that currently mirrors Cecilia’s. Cecilia diverts the conversation and begins talking about how they all know each other. Scott and Cameron started off as childhood friends. Cecilia moved to their school at fifteen, and Scott just couldn’t resist her. They both have been in school since they graduated, but Cameron was too busy with the music world being the face of Ten Ways Gone. “I didn’t tell her who I was, that’s one of the other reasons she didn’t talk to me. She didn’t know who Ten Ways Gone was and it was awesome.”
“Well, did you grow up under a rock or not read? He’s been in the tabloids for all the shit I’ve had to get him out of,” Scott says. “Oh, thank you, by the way. You’ve made my life pretty easy since school started. He’s staying out of trouble so keep it up, Fate,” Scott says with an appreciative smile.
“I’m from Florida so no, not under a rock, and I read all the time, just not about who’s who and all that nonsense. As for music, I don’t really listen to it. You could be a Rolling Stone and I wouldn’t really know. However, once I met Cameron I did look up all your lyrics, which by the way are incredible,” I say with such admiration. “They aren’t all about raising hell or what a beautiful thing love is. They are about life. I like that.”
“Well, that would be all Cameron. I help with the beats but all those words come from this little shit eater, if you can believe that,” Scott says and I am a little stunned. Reading about the band I did see that it comes from the lead man but that’s not an unusual thing to say to bring the music to a new level with the fans. It builds the persona of that individual. I see Cameron squirm under my gaze and I wonder why he appears so nervous.
“Well, I should get back to the apartment. Fate, do you want to walk back with me?” Cameron asks, and I nod in response. Sitting here with his friends, without him, makes me very uncomfortable. “You might as well give Cecilia your number or she is just going to hound me till I give it to her. Or she will show up raising hell at home,” he says and I have to admit when he says home it makes me ecstatic that this man’s home is where I live too.
“He’s right, so you might as well fork it over, Fate,” Cecilia says, giving me a wink. Quickly, I write it down and hand it to her. This girl is opposite of me. She seems to be able to pull things from me similar to Cameron. That’s a scary thought. Cameron points to the door, and I nod as we walk off together out of the building.
Once we arrive at the apartment, there is silence between us. I can sense that Cameron wants to say something and I’ve never really seen him this unsure of himself. “Cameron, what’s wrong?” I ask, worried I’ve done something wrong. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends. When Cecilia came over she didn’t really give me a chance to say no.”
“She has that effect on people. You didn’t embarrass me. Don’t worry, that could never happen. I was worried they’d say something to scare you off and you’d shut me out again,” he says with such honesty I feel as if I can see inside this man. He’s no longer a rock star but just a man.
“I have pretty much stalked you online, there isn’t much I don’t know. We all have a history. No judgment, remember…” I say as I walk to the couch and sit. Cameron follows me over and sits beside me.
“You are looking so tired. Beautiful but tired. How is the sleeping working out for you?” he says and I feel this urge to be brutally honest with him.
“It’s not going well at all. When I was back home I was homeschooled so I could work around my issues, but here I’m finding it difficult to get into a routine.” He looks at me with such sadness I feel my inner walls begin to shake and come down. Mentally, I reinforce them because if they come down, I don’t know if I will be able to put them back up. “Don’t worry, I’m beginning to figure it all out. I might try to work my schedule differently when I pick my next set of classes.”
Glancing away from me, Cameron is staring into the wall like it’s going to do something crazy. “I was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to let me try and help you.” I give him a look, asking him what he means, and he continues, “Well, your room seems to be an issue for you at night. So what if you keep the lights on and sleep in your bed at night?”
Shaking my head, I tell him the facts of my condition. “It’s my bed too, not just the dark,” I say plainly, hoping he won’t ask for the reasons behind my issues.
“Do you trust me?” he asks, and I hesitate. Do I trust Cameron? He hasn’t given me a reason to not trust him. Continuously he has worked with my limitations and never tries to push me into something I can’t handle. Nodding, I give him a tiny smile. He gets up and goes to his bedroom, coming out with a pillow and a blanket. I give him a questioning look as he goes around our common area, turning on every lamp. Looking outside, I can see that the darkness of night has taken over the skies. “These are for you,” he says as he hands me his blanket and pillow. “Since the dark and your bed are issues, let’s take them both off the table. The couch won’t be as comfortable, but it’s all about baby steps,” he says with a grin and my smile grows. “The lights will stay on all night. I will leave my door open and if you need me you can just call out to me.”
“I’m not sure that I won’t have nightmares or scream. I’ve never tried anything like this before,” I say truthfully, showing him my real weaknesses.
“Baby steps,” he repeats. “If you do have a nightmare, I will be right here to wake you up, and if it becomes too much, we try another route. Go get some pajamas on.”
Doing as he asks, I walk away, closing my door behind me. Once I’m dressed in my comfy kitty pajamas, I head out. There is a sheet on top of the couch and a pillow is set out for me. He is still holding the blanket, and I lie down on the couch as he watches me. “You and your damn kitties,” he says with a wink, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes me. Placing the blanket over me and tucking me in, he bends down and lightly kisses my hand the same way he did before. “Goodnight, Fate,” he says, and I want nothing more than for him to stay with me, but I have to try this alone.
Chapter Ten
Cameron
“Don’t, please.”
Waking, I hear Fate crying out and I jump out of bed, racing to the living room. I never thought that night with her in her bed screaming could be trumped, but man was I wrong. I see her twisting and struggling still asleep. She looks so damn distressed, this unbearable need to hold her comes over me. I did this. She trusted me and blew it. Bending down, I slowly bring my hand to hers and give it a small squeeze. “Fate,” I say and her eyes pop open. The fear is s
till very present in those broken blue eyes that have taken hold of me.
“Cameron,” she whispers and the sting of her pain is aching in me. Shit. I want to reach out to her, but I know it has to be her way. “Please,” she murmurs and I’m not sure what she is asking me for.
“What, Fate? What do you need? Anything, it’s yours.” Dammit, this girl is in pain because I thought I could get her past this piece of her past.
“You,” she says as if at any moment she’s going to be shattered to pieces. I watch as she reaches out and grabs my hand. I squeeze her gently, letting her know I am here for her in the only way I can.
“You never have to ask me for that. I’m sorry I pushed you to do this.” Her eyes are filled with sorrow and I want to beat the hell out of myself for putting her through this.
“It’s all about finding different ways. Maybe we could try something, I’m not sure if it will work, though.” She sounds so unsure I almost want to tell her to not even think about it, but at the same time I want to do anything to get her through this pain.
“What is it?” I ask and her eyes go to my bare chest before finding my eyes again.
“Maybe you could sit with me, but…” She takes a deep breath and I feel like I’m not even taking any at all. “First, I need you to put a shirt on,” she says and I can see a smirk trying to break free from her. Letting go of her hand, I go grab a shirt quickly, putting in on.
“Now what?” I say, looking at her with such uncertainty. She sits up and moves her pillow, then pats her hand on the couch. Following her direction, I sit on the couch next to her. Slowly, she puts the pillow down over my lap and begins to lie down on it. Her hands come to mine and brings them down to her. Holding them, she places them next to her face and just continues to squeeze them tightly within her grasp.
“You don’t have to stay this way if you don’t want to,” she says shyly.
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