“Fate.” He sighs and starts to take small steps toward me. When he gets close enough to me, he bends down so he’s down on the floor with me. Slowly, he brings his hand up like he’s going to touch me, but he changes his mind and withdraws his hand. The agony slices through me.
Without thinking, I let everything Clarissa told me slip. “I wouldn’t want to touch me either,” I say with disgust.
“Fate,” he chokes out and I feel it then. The loss.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cameron
When I walked in and saw her, I was wrecked. My girl was huddled up like her world was destroyed. I destroyed her. My anger got the better of me and I hurt her. Then I took off because I was so blinded by my rage I didn’t want her to get caught in the crossfire again. That was worse. I only got so far before I realized who I had left her there with. I’m an asshole. The moment I went back and saw she wasn’t there, and neither was he, I lost my damn mind.
I wanted to reach out and pull her to me the moment I saw her, but I don’t deserve that. Protecting her was the one thing I was supposed to do and I failed her. My rage clouded that need and I will never forgive myself for that. Now she’s sitting here in pieces because she thinks I look at her with repulsion.
“Fate,” I choke out and I feel the tears I was holding back trying to break free. “I am so sorry,” I whisper to her, and she nods her head. My girl sits there shattered and then my brain checks back in.
“I don’t blame you, you didn’t ask for this. Any of this and some things are just too much to overlook,” she states, and I crash. Those tears I was barely holding in begin to fall.
“You are so fucking stupid,” I say when I finally get my breath steady. She looks up and sees the tears in my eyes that are identical to hers. “I didn’t leave to get away from you, I was trying to get a check on my anger because I wanted to kill him and I hurt you. I don’t deserve these tears. I know you don’t cry for shit so to see you like this is damn near killing me. Please, babe, stop crying. Talk to me, don’t shut me out.” I am begging her to just let those walls down and bring me in. “I don’t care if you shut the world out, but shut me in there with you,” I say, hoping it gets through to her.
“It’s a pretty scary place to be. Are you sure you really want to know?” she whimpers, and I want to end this here. I wish I could take this pain away from her.
“Nothing you’re going to tell me will change anything. I can promise you that, Fate. You could never say anything to make me not love you.” She gasps at my proclamation of my feelings. Not because I don’t feel it but because I know she can’t say it back and that will eat at her. She needs to hear it now. Someone needs to show this beautifully destroyed girl that they love her no matter what, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone who isn’t me be that person for her.
“After my mother died my father began drinking. I remember him drinking when I was a bit younger, but he went away for a while and when he came back everything was fine. I assume he went to rehab. After my mom died, he relapsed and started drinking every day. My mother’s death destroyed him,” she says. Looking to her it’s like I can see right inside to that scared little girl. “He came into my room one night and…” I feel her panic coming on and I want to comfort her, but I don’t know how without causing more pain. “He molested me until I finally told someone and they took me away. He went to jail and I never saw him again until today.”
Pieces begin to come together in my head of the things she’s said.
“He only came at night in the dark,” I say and she nods. “Music, how does that come into this?” I ask because we have been working on it and now I feel like I pushed where I never should have.
“I would scream or call out for help. So he started turning on music before he came in and woke me. It’s why I panicked when I woke to your music being on.” So much makes sense now. Hell, I wish I had known. I could have done things so differently. “It’s why I don’t cry too. He either liked that he had that power over me or it would only make things worse. So I stopped crying. I got out before he could have…” That fucking annihilates my heart. I’ve made this gorgeous girl cry a few times that I know about, so for that to happen, I must have caused her so much pain. That asshole took from her everything and she has never known a loving touch since that day. Luckily, she got out before he could…Damn it. That eats at me.
“I don’t care what that animal did to you. You were a child, Fate. Do you hear me? You didn’t ask for this shit and he has no excuse. Don’t give him one. He was your dad. His job was to protect you. The only blame and disgust is for him. Never you.” With my words, I see her walls come crashing down and I feel as if I can finally breathe again.
“You aren’t just saying that, are you? I don’t need pretend shit, Cameron.” Damn, I love it when she swears at me. It makes me feel like I’m rubbing off on her and that makes her mine.
“Look at me, Fate.” Her eyes look into mine, they are swollen and red. She’s never been more beautiful to me because I can see the real Fate without all the bullshit she puts up to protect herself. “I don’t do pretend shit, not with you. I love you, so get that through that adorably, thick head of yours and stop pushing me out. I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere,” I say firmly. “Do you hear me? No matter what comes, I’m not leaving. You’re going to have to make me and even then no. There will never be another Fate for me, but you. I fucking love you.”
“I…” I can see her struggling and I know what she’s trying to do. Panic takes over me that she might break down again and I hate that my love could do that to her. Not again. She feels like she has to say it back.
“Fate, don’t. I didn’t say it for you to say it back. Someone can say it and they don’t need the words to know it’s real, okay. I will never love anyone as much as I love you and I don’t need to hear you say it right now.”
“Say it again,” she whispers.
“I. Fucking. Love. You.”
Slowly, she begins to move toward me until she is so close we are almost touching. Her breathing begins to increase and she is making me so damn nervous. Then she says something I never thought I’d hear.
“Touch me, please, make it all go away.”
Shaking my head, I try to back away, but she only moves forward, closing the distance between us. “I can’t. You’re upset and this might make it worse. I couldn’t handle losing you, Fate,” I say, begging her.
“The need is all I feel, the need to wash it all away. To start new, and please, just…” She has never been so sexy and she is here before me, broken, asking me to make her whole. She pauses briefly and my mind is spinning. “Love me, Cameron. Touch me, please make me yours.”
Slowly so I don’t spook her, I bring my hands behind her head and her lips to mine. When they meet, I feel how soft and swollen her lips are and I have to hold back. She begins moving her lips against mine, increasing the intensity and I feel like this girl is going to be the death of me. Her hands begin to move and I feel her lay them against my chest. The heat from her touch burns right through my shirt and then she begins to trail her fingers down to the hem of my shirt and I feel her touch as she grazes them against my bare skin. I groan as she caresses me and she takes that chance to deepen the kiss, and I feel her tongue move against mine.
Fate starts moving the hem of my shirt up and I pull back briefly to allow her to lift it over my head. Her hands go down to the hem of her shirt and I watch as she brings it up and quickly discards it. I don’t even have a chance to enjoy the view before she is climbing on top of me, almost straddling me. She starts kissing me again with only her pants and bra still on. I feel her push her hands against my chest, pushing me back down to the ground and she follows me down, never breaking our kiss. Fuck.
“Cameron,” she moans and without thinking, I place my hands on the bare skin of her back. I wait for her to flinch but it never happens. Instead, she starts moving against me and I feel her whole body grinding against
mine. Damn, I almost lose it right there.
“Fate, we have to stop,” I plead with her. Shit, I only have so much control.
“Why?” she murmurs.
“Fate, I only have so much willpower. At some point I won’t be able to stop. I already don’t want to,” I say honestly, hoping she understands how much control she has over me.
“Then don’t,” she says and tries to kiss me again, but I pull back. Holding her face in my hands, I try to look into her to see what my girl is thinking. I’ve never seen this side of her.
“Do you have any idea how much you control me? You could bring me to my knees at any moment. That’s how much. I don’t think I could stop loving you if we don’t slow down.” Never have I sounded like such a pussy, but I don’t even care. This girl needs to know how real this is for me.
“Love me, Cameron,” she says, with her eyes holding me in place as she climbs back on top of me, placing her hands around my shoulders. “If I’m in control, then do what I say. It’s time you fucking love me, Cameron McAlister.”
Yeah, that’s it, all willpower is blown out of the water and I grab her legs, wrapping them around my waist. Holding onto her hips, I bring us up from the ground and move us to my bed. Slowly, I lay her down before bringing myself over her. I feel her hands start to undo my pants and I groan at her touch. Her hands wrap around my waist as she slips her hands in my pants. Did she just grab my ass? Fuck. She begins to slide my pants down and I kick them off, never breaking away from kissing her. This girl needs to feel how much I love her. I need her to never doubt that for a fricking minute of this.
Gently, I bring my hands down to her waist and slowly move my fingers to the button on her jeans. I’m almost losing it here because my girl has her hands firmly on my ass like she’s damn well claiming me as hers. Fucking right, baby, I’m all yours. I groan and I feel her skin shiver against me. “Oh, Cameron,” she says as I slip her pants and panties off, touching her the whole way down. Looking at me with this cute little smirk on her face, she says, “We’re naked. Now what, rock star?”
“There’s no going back from here, Fate,” I say because I can’t believe this girl is naked before me, asking me to be with her. Trailing my hand down her stomach, I continue down until I’m right where she wants me to be. I slip inside, and she moans, digging her hands into my back and that only further entices me. Slowly, I move until she is comfortable with my fingers being inside her. Each time I pick up the pace her breathing gets more intense. One of her hands begins to run up and down my back. The other hand begins to stroke me and nothing can compare to being touched by Fate.
“I don’t ever want to go back to a place without you, without this with you,” she whispers, and I stop what I am doing. Grabbing both her hands with mine, I put them just above her head as I hold myself above her.
“I won’t let you,” I promise her and release her hands. I don’t want her feeling trapped in this moment. I just want her to feel us. “This might hurt at first. I will be gentle.” As I lower myself to her, I never break eye contact. “It’s just me and you, babe,” I whisper as I slip inside her and I groan. She is so damn tight, I’m scared to move and hurt her. Gently, I begin to push through her barrier and begin to get a rhythm going. “Fucking always,” I groan as I find myself going deeper inside of her. It’s like finally coming home and I never want to leave.
“Cameron,” she says and I feel her pushing into me to bring us closer. There isn’t an inch between us. My hand moves to her breast and she closes her eyes, moaning loudly as she places her head against my chest. “Forever in a day is what I feel.” Her words rip through me. Those are lyrics I wrote about her and it tells me all I need to hear. This girl loves me.
I feel her tightening around me and it causes me to slow as I gently push myself in and out. “Don’t stop,” she says and I want to groan out in frustration. I want her to enjoy this and I’m ready to bury myself in her. “I…I’m almost there,” she moans as her nails dig into me. I feel her tighten around me again and I love it. I bury myself in her, not stopping, feeling every beat. I feel her come undone beneath me.
“I love you, Fate,” I moan as I find my release with the girl who has ruined me for the rest of the world. There will never be another Fate. Her fingers begin to trail across my face and I lean into her touch.
“Forever in a day,” she whispers as she moves over and I cuddle up beside my fucking world.
Just as I hear her begin to drift off into sleep, I whisper to her, “One day I’m going to make you mine in more ways than this. Forever in a day, babe.” Placing my hands on her, I begin to drift into a peaceful sleep with my Fate.
We haven’t been asleep long when knocking at the door wakes us. I slowly pull on a pair of jogging pants and hand Fate one of my shirts to put on. “Who is it?” she asks. I just shrug in response. Who the hell knocks on a door at this time?
When I open the door, I’m floored as to what is in front of us. Two police officers are standing there and before I even have a chance to say anything one of them speaks.
“Cameron McAlister?” I nod. “You have to come with us. You are under arrest for the assault of Kurt Bishop.” Behind me, I hear Fate cry out and the officers put me up against the door and cuff me. The whole time I can hear Fate wailing behind me and there is nothing I can do for her now.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Standing in the police station I am pacing back and forth. Nothing prepared me for that knock on the door. I thought it was Clarissa and she had taken an earlier flight. As soon as I got here I called Scott and Cecilia and they both showed up here raising hell. I couldn’t get a hold of Clarissa to tell her because she was already through security and on board before I thought to call her, but I left her a voicemail saying I was here.
An officer comes and asks me to come into an interview room. I follow without question. I go in and the officer shuts the door, leaving me alone with the officer waiting for me inside of the room. Taking my seat, I try to remain calm but being in here brings me back to when I had to do all this because my father was being arrested and charged.
“Miss McKenzie, my name is Officer Davidson. I was wondering if I could speak with you about what happened last night between your boyfriend and your father,” he asks, and I start telling him how the incident happened while he is jotting it down. “So you felt threatened?” he asks.
“Yes, my father was drunk and was making comments about killing me before going back to jail. He is still on parole, I believe, and he wasn’t to be here anyway. Cameron’s actions were a result of his fear for my safety and my father provoking him with his vulgarities of the sexual abuse I endured as a child. Then, after the fight broke apart, my father again tried to provoke Cameron by disclosing that he still had pictures of me as a child, inappropriate pictures.” The words just flow from my mouth as if it’s nothing. I feel cold.
“Your father admitted to having child pornography?” I nod my head, and he continues to write on his pad. “Well, he’s going back to jail. He broke parole by coming here and the local police will be doing a search of all of his possessions. If he has those pictures, we will find them and that will be another charge,” he says, and I feel relieved that my father is again returning to the cell he deserves.
“What about Cameron?” I ask.
“With your witness of the events in question we will be dropping the charges as I believe he acted in your defense. I’m sure your father won’t be pushing too hard for those charges to stick either. We should be able to get Mr. McAlister released in a couple of hours.” The officer brings me back out to the lobby and leaves me with Cecilia and Scott.
Without thinking, I walk over to Cecilia and hug her. I feel her stiffen at the contact from me. Softly, I feel her arms wrap around me, giving me a warm embrace. It doesn’t calm me instantly like Cameron, but it makes me feel as if I’m not alone. I fall apart and the sobs return.
“Fate.” I hear coming from behind me. Turning, I s
ee Clarissa behind me, looking about how I feel right now. Leaving Cecilia, I walk up to her and when she sees that I’m crying it’s like I’ve broken her. Tears begin to pool in her eyes too. “Oh, Fate, honey, it will be okay.” I feel that too, this was just one more stop on the train of chaos for us, but I have this nagging feeling in my chest that it’s not that simple.
Clarissa pulls me into a hug, and I let her. “Thank you for coming.”
“Fate, you don’t have to thank me. I will always come running when you need me.” Pulling back, she looks at me, watching the tears fall from my face. “It is okay to need someone, honey.” She knows how hard that is for me, and I surprise her when I finally speak.
“I need Cameron.”
“I’m here, babe,” Cameron whispers behind me, causing me to turn around. As soon as I see him, I take off running until I’m crashing into his arms and I finally let go. The tears seem endless. “Everything is all worked out and you’re here in my damn arms again where you belong,” he says, as he gives me a tight squeeze. “We are going to be okay.”
“We should get out of here,” Scott says, and Cameron nods. Cameron never lets go of me as we walk out of the police station. It’s as if he can feel it too, so much has changed. Cecilia suggests we go to her place, but Cameron says no and that he wants to get me back home. Clarissa stays closely beside me until we reach her rental car.
“Are you coming, Fate?” she asks, but I see Cameron looking at the cab he just waved down. Something in his eyes tells me he wants to be alone with me and I feel that need too.
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