“What happened?”
“Huh? Oh nothing,” I said, waving my hand dismissively. Amanda frowned, but she didn’t say anything. It made things awkward for a moment. “I was just, uh, sort of settling the bill.”
“Oh,” she said sheepishly.
I watched her pick at her cuticles nervously. “Hey, it’s really the least I can do. You wouldn’t have to be here if it weren’t for me.”
Amanda nodded quietly and looked forward out the doorway. I wondered if she really was anxious to be “done with me,” like she said earlier. It had certainly sounded like a joke, but for all I knew, she was being serious. I had been polite, responsible, and even tried to lighten the mood, but maybe it wasn’t enough. After all, I was the stranger who cut her nose open.
“I thought he was just getting paperwork,” Amanda complained.
“Sometimes that takes longer than everything else,” I told her with a shrug. “Are you really that ready to be done with me?” I tried my best to sound light-hearted.
“What?” She turned to me. She looked genuinely confused for a couple seconds and then realization hit her. “That was a joke!” She grinned, “Why would I want to get away from you? If anything, I should thank you for giving me such a lovely welcome to New York.”
“We-welcome? Oh no…”
Amanda nodded, but the grin didn’t disappear from her face. I had no idea she was new to the city. Whether she was visiting or moving here, this was her first experience. I had taken her to see the inside of a hospital and it wasn’t part of a tour.
I dropped my head and chuckled. “Go figure. Well,” I said as I leaned forward and put on my best cocky smile, “I can give you a real welcome to the city, you know.”
Amanda recoiled and looked at me in near disgust, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I laughed again when I realized how it came off. I wasn’t propositioning her. “I meant that I could take you out properly to see some of the best of New York. What were you thinking?”
Amanda’s face flushed as she turned away from me, but that did nothing to hide her blushing cheeks. “I, uh, wasn’t sure. Anyway. You’re asking me on a date?” I heard her voice go flat, but I took no offense to it.
“Hmmm… I guess it does sound an awful lot like a date.” I paused and stared her down until she finally met my gaze. She looked flustered. It amused me. Still, it had started as a joke, but now I felt like it was going into dangerous territory. A flip instantly switched inside of me and I quickly added, “But that’s not a good idea.”
“Definitely not.” Amanda agreed.
“Any kind of relationship would never work,” I said.
“In general or between us?”
“Both.”
Amanda nodded her head slowly, “That’s true, actually.”
That one statement of agreement from her really threw me off. I was under the impression that all women wanted relationships and they were always set on proving relationships could work. But here was a woman perfectly open about her disdain for relationships. Then I remembered that her boyfriend had dumped her just before she flew out to New York. I wondered if he had been really awful or if Amanda was just being dramatic.
There was a knock at the door. A nurse stepped in to give Amanda the paperwork and explain any care she needed to do on her own while the stitches healed. I took the opportunity to step out and settle the bill. Amanda stepped out of the exam room looking tired. I couldn’t blame her. It was a hell of an introduction to New York.
“Where should I drop you off?”
“Nowhere,” she said.
“Are you going to live out of your luggage or what?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she snipped, “I can just take a cab out to meet my friend.”
I thought about it for a moment. Was my duty really over with? I had brought her to the hospital and paid the bill. Something didn’t feel right to me so I asked again, “Are you sure? It’s really not a big deal for you to be dropped off wherever you’ll be staying.”
“That’s nice of you to offer, but I’m totally okay taking a cab,” she assured.
The two of us walked out of the hospital together and by the time we reached the street, where my limo was waiting, Amanda had at least agreed to let me pay for her cab ride. She got inside and waved goodbye to me from the window, after making sure to thank me for taking care of the hospital visit.
“It was the least I could do, Amanda,” I said with a genuine smile.
“Still. Thanks, Ethan.” She smiled back with warmth and affection. It was the first time she looked at me and I didn’t feel like there was bitter anger hidden underneath her expression. The cab peeled off from the curb. I turned to watch it drive away until I couldn’t make out the back of her head anymore.
It was strange, but as I got into the back-passenger seat of my limo, I felt a small pang of sadness when I realized she was out of my life forever.
Two Years Later
It was a Thursday night, but that didn’t stop a crowd of people to gather at the bar where I sat with Tina. The residents of the East Village, or really any area of Manhattan, didn’t let something like a weekday get in the way of having fun. Everyone needed to relax and going to a local bar to drink with some friends was the best way to do just that.
I was especially fond of this bar. It was less than two blocks from the apartment I shared with Tina and it was designed to look more like a café than anything else. The wooden bar top was lined with stools and across was a row of small tables for two. There was a diner-style booth in the corner of the bar. Instead of weird photographs or neon lights, the place was decorated with actual artwork from locals and there were shelves upon shelves of books. If I were in any other place I would have found it odd for a bar. But in the East Village, it fit right in.
Tina and I sat at one of the little tables, the single pink flower in a small drinking glass doubling as a vase pushed off to the side. I had two empty glasses in front of me and was working on my third cocktail of the night.
“So are you finally going to talk?”
“I’ve been talking,” I told Tina rather snappily.
Tina jerked her head back, “No need to be snippy. I’m not the one who dumped you. I’m not the jerk here.”
“I know you aren’t,” I said with a sigh before taking a long drink. “What is there to tell, though? He’s just another asshole out of a million.”
“Pretty sure there are more than a million out there,” Tina quipped.
I made a noise of agreement before downing the rest of my cocktail. I stood up to order another and that’s when the three drinks really hit me. I stumbled to the side a bit and had to grab onto the edge of the table beside ours for balance. There was a young couple sitting at it that looked up at me in confusion. I raised my hand apologetically before giving them a look. I walked off to the bar shaking my head. “They won’t last,” I muttered under my breath.
I came back a few minutes later with a stronger cocktail than the last and plopped it down in front of my chair. Some of it sloshed onto the tabletop, but I didn’t care.
“Fine,” I said, “I’ll tell you what happened with ‘asshole’.”
“From the looks of it, it must have been pretty messed up.”
“Pretty messed up? Try really fucked up. It happened just today, Tee. I wasn’t supposed to meet him until dinner, right? Well, I got out early and I thought I’d pop in to surprise him with one of those smoothies he likes so much. You know which ones, right? It was one of those weird hyper-healthy smoothies from one of the organic juicers by the little theater where the auditions were held today. Anyway, there I was going up to his damn fifth-floor walkup, carrying his gross shit, when I heard a moaning noise from outside the door. I guess that’s the drawback of living in a studio apartment.”
“The drawback,” Tina prompted after I took a long pause.
I drew in a long breath, “The drawback, Tee, is that when you’re moaning loud l
ike some crazy ghost having an orgasm, the person on the other side can hear you. I didn’t have to walk in to know he was fucking someone who, obviously, was not me. But I did have to walk in to see him porking some blonde bimbo with tits spilling out of a nurse’s uniform. And not a real nurse’s uniform either. It was one of those slutty Halloween costumes.”
“Mandy,” Tina said sadly, but I could tell she was trying to hold back a grin.
“Yeah, I didn’t even know fucking a slutty nurse was a fetish of his! I actually didn’t know he had fetishes to begin with, seeing as how sex was always so damn vanilla and boring with him.”
“Mandy,” Tina repeated, a sad frown taking over her face.
“I guess being burned this bad only once in the two years I’ve been in New York isn’t too bad of a track record, right? Gotta look at the bright side…”
“Mandy, he’s a pig,” Tina said.
“Surprise, surprise,” I said with absolutely no amusement in my voice. “It took less than six months for him to cheat on me. Well, it took that much for me to find out he was cheating on me. For all, I know that asshole could have been fucking around the entire time.”
Tina grimaced, “I honestly wouldn’t put it past him. But, Mandy, it’s not you. It’s just that men are despicable.”
“They really are, aren’t they! What the hell, Tee? Why do I keep getting involved with them? It feels like it always ends so shitty.”
“I don’t know. They’re gross and heartless. They’re overall terrible creatures. They’re animals with only one thing on their mind.”
“Oh, give them some credit, Tee! They’re interested in more than just one thing,” I said sarcastically as I pointed at my breasts.
Tina laughed before taking a long sip of her drink. I eyed the couple next to us for a moment. They were way too involved in their budding romance to eavesdrop on our conversation. I could tell from the look in Tina’s eyes that she was thinking the same thing—those two wouldn’t last and it wasn’t real love keeping him around. The young lady with him was obviously attractive. There was no doubt in my mind that he was with her for one reason only. It was only a matter of time before he hurt her just like all men did to women.
“Have you heard of Yue Lao or ‘the old man under the moon’.” I said, still staring at the couple next to us.
Tina looked at me with apprehension. I could tell she was getting ready for me to go on yet another wild tangent of mine. “Can’t say that I have.”
“I was just reading an article about him today. He’s the god of marriage in Chinese mythology. He always shows up as an old man under the moon and he unites couples with ‘red silken cords.’ Then nothing can tear their love apart. He always has ‘the book of marriage’ in one hand, and a walking stick in the other.” Tina was humoring me and nodding along. “There are temples where people actually go and pray to the guy in order to find love or have a happy marriage. Can you believe it?”
“Okay, why are you telling me all this Amanda?”
“The point is that it’s all bullshit!” I held my hands up before smacking them back down on the table. Tina busted out laughing. She had been my best friend forever so I knew how to humor her. “That’s the point! The old man under the moon? Marriage? Paranormal, mythical, gods of love? It’s all a bunch of bullshit. And I’m finally admitting to myself that love is bullshit too. It doesn’t exist.”
“Gosh. You’ve always been a little bitter when it came to relationships, but now you’re on a whole new level.” Tina laughed.
“I know.” I hunched down in my seat and took another long sip of my drink.
“Really, though, Mandy. I think you’re right in many ways. Men are always just after sex. Once they get it they’re done, unless it’s good enough that they want more than one helping. Even then, it’s not like they work all that hard for it. Once they’ve roped in a girl it’s like a buffet for them or something.”
“True. I should just stop expecting anything more from any of them, no matter how nice one of them may seem,” I said as I stared at the tabletop in defeat.
“So then let’s stop expecting anything more from them. Let’s stop wanting anything more from them. Let’s just go after the same damn thing they go after every time.”
I slowly put my glass back down to study Tina’s face. She was serious. This was a real idea that she was putting forward. I tipped my glass back and took a drink as I mulled it over. The more I thought about it, the more I concluded that it wasn’t a half-bad idea.
“Let’s do it!” I said. And then, with a devious grin, I corrected, “Let’s do them.”
Tina giggled and took another quick drink from her glass. She glanced over at the young guy sitting beside her and then at his date. “Let’s do it. No relationships. Just sex.”
“What about a ‘sex relationship’?”
“You mean friends with benefits… Yes. That’s fine. That’s totally fine so long as there are absolutely no feelings in that little setup.”
“Right. NO feelings.” I said as I leaned back in my chair with a smile. It was the first time in a while I actually felt good. I was taking control of my ‘relationship life’.
“Feelings just get you in trouble.”
“I still can’t believe you brought me here,” I said as I looked around the place. “It doesn’t look like a bar. You brought me here under false pretenses.”
“Dude, it’s a bar. Maybe it’s not one of the ritzy bars you like, but there’s liquor so shut your trap and start drinking.”
I laughed as the two of us ordered beers at the ‘bar’ before taking the nearest open stools. The chatter was lively and the crowd was different than the one I was used to, but the ambiance was cool nonetheless. I wasn’t snobby; I just usually had drinks for business and those meetings took place at swanky lounges. Outside of that, I usually went out in different parts of Manhattan that weren’t the East Village. Still, I had to admit, the place was interesting.
“So what’s up with, uh, what’s her name?” I asked.
“Rosa,” my friend, Mike, reminded me with a scowl.
“Right. What’s up with Rosa now?”
“Man, why you gotta say it like that?”
“I’m not saying it like anything, Mike. I’m just pointing out that you two are always at odds for one reason or another and, well, most of the time it seems like it’s because of her. It’s just an observation.”
“Whatever,” he said before chugging half his beer in one gulp. He looked at me and then gave in, head hanging. “You’re right, man. She’s always pissed about something.”
“I’m telling you she is. I don’t know why.”
“I don’t either, that’s the thing. Like today, I got back with groceries and she started yelling at me for getting the wrong milk. She was super pissed right from the moment I walked through the door. So I asked her what this was really about and man, I fucked up by doing that.”
I laughed and shook my head, “What was it?”
“She told me I never pay attention to her needs. I asked her why she said that and she just started listing everything I do wrong. Some of the things didn’t even make sense! Like picking the wrong milk. I’m sorry I picked up two-percent instead of one. And when I would agree to some of what she was saying it just made her even more pissed. Then she started straight up insulting me, right down to our sex life. It was harsh, dude.”
“Did you really think about it?”
“Think about what?”
“Think about what she was telling you.”
“I did. I’m tellin’ you I even agreed to some of it, but honestly she’s just pissed at me all the time. I tried to be reasonable and fair, but I don’t think she was. Then I thought about when she started acting like this and I'm pretty sure it's guilt. Man, I don’t know what it is, but I think she’s keeping something from me.”
“Why do you say that?”
Mike paused for a moment and took a drink. I could tell he was debating
whether or not to tell me whatever was on his mind. “Her ex-boyfriend Dave started working in her office again. She doesn’t have a lot of contact with him, but I know she still sees him.”
“Damn.” I whispered, taking a sip of my drink.
“I know she isn’t cheating on me or anything, but I wonder if she’s constantly comparing our relationship with their old one. I think she feels guilty about that and takes it out on me.”
“If she did something wrong you’re not supposed to be the one getting attacked, Mike.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, some of the things she says to you aren’t right. She’s crossed a lot of lines with her words and how she flies off the handle. You two aren’t even happy with each other anymore. You aren’t even comfortable where you live. Women like to say mean and hurtful things because they feel justified for one reason or another. And when their millions of tiny, nitpicking, hurtful words finally make you snap and call them a bitch they freak out like you were the bad guy all along.”
Just Sex Page 4