“Guess Randy does have magic hands,” I muttered, deep blue eyes now open and peering at my reflection in the rearview mirror.
I sighed and chuckled at my next thought. It had been a struggle not to pop a boner on her table.
“Fuck,” I laughed, running my hand over my face. My scruff scratched at the palm of my hand and I thought it would be nice when the beard comes back in. It wouldn’t be long, considering my facial hair grows faster than a rain forest. I turned the car on and gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of my car. I couldn’t remember the last time I had to concentrate on football, multiplication tables, and random trivia facts just to keep from creating a situation for myself and, well, Randy in this case.
I ran the tip of my tongue over my teeth as I got lost in my thoughts. I thought about just how round and firm her ass looked. I wasn’t about to deny how incredible she looked. Randy sure did grow up well.
For a split second I felt grossly incestuous again, thinking of her in that way didn’t feel right. But the image of her perky breasts pushed that notion quickly out of my mind. Not only were we not actually related, years had passed since we had seen each other. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with appreciating her good looks now. I was a little taken aback by how much I liked seeing her again. It was rare for me to be so interested in a woman, but I figured it must have something to do with our history. She wasn’t a stranger. Plus, it probably wasn’t often people like us reunited like this.
Finally, I pulled out of the parking spot and started my drive back home, mind still full of thoughts about Randy. I laughed again and muttered, “Miranda.” I smirked. I wouldn’t be letting up on her Randy nickname any time soon.
I liked the way her cheeks get rosy and her mouth purses in annoyance every time I call her Randy. I would have liked to talk to her more after the massage, but I knew it was hard enough just to be around her. My tip showed her just how pleased I was though. I knew she had to appreciate such a sizeable amount of money anyway.
I turned on the radio and blasted music the entire drive home. I wanted to have a clear mind and good mood by the time I pulled into the driveway. As soon as I was home and heading up the walkway the front door swung open and Molly came shooting out to greet me.
“Daddy! Daddy!” She shrieked and Janice was running after her to make sure she didn’t fall. I picked up the pace and crouched down to scoop her up, bouncing her just a bit.
“Hey there, kiddo!”
She giggled, “What did you buy me, daddy?”
“Hmmm,” I hummed, pretending to look off in the distance in deep thought. She shrieked again and gripped my shoulder. I felt the tips of her tiny fingers dig right into my injured muscle, but somehow it didn’t bother me the least bit.
“I brought you something,” I corrected her.
She stopped moving and looked into my eyes with anticipation only a young child could have. I didn’t hold back and picked her up, flinging her upward toward the sky. She cried out in glee as Janice walked back inside. I laughed and caught her, noticing just how great my shoulder felt. I sat her down with a pat on the head
I looked at her with a grin, “I think it’s present time.”
She jumped up and down more frantically so I took one of her hands and led her over to the car. I popped the trunk and pulled out a gift bag. I was going to have her wait until we were inside the house before she could yank it away from me. I bundled her under my arm like I was carrying a football and ran to the front door, expecting Janice to be there watching and open the door for me like she always did.
But when I reached the top step the door remained shut in my face even though Janice had been outside with us earlier. I sat Molly down and pushed it open.
“Hello?” I called out
Then I saw Janice sitting primly on the couch with her bag on the coffee table. There was no sign of dinner being ready either. I was confused. Janice got up and ran a flat hand over her skirt to smoothen it out before starting a report on what she and Molly did during the day. I noticed she was speaking very formally, but I was quickly distracted by Molly going absolutely wild.
She was eagerly pulling out the contents from the gift bag and squealing loudly in delight. She tossed up and handful of the dresses for her dolly before running across the room to retrieve her toy. I barely heard anything Janice was saying.
Finally, I teared my eyes off Molly. “How much sugar did you give her?” I demanded, interrupting Janice from whatever she was prattling on about.
Janice nearly scoffed and held her nose up high, “the entire box of fruit snacks.”
“What? Why the hell would you do something so stupid?” I was in complete disbelief. I paid her good money to take care of my daughter. How could she have done something so irresponsible. I paid her well! I was already making a mental note to consider searching for someone else when she shut me down.
Janice smiled oddly and said, “Because I quit.” There was satisfaction written all over her tone of voice.
I was dumbfounded as I watched her walk out the door. I didn’t go after her though. I was in shock, but when my mind finally caught up to what had just happened, I was beyond pissed. I had invested so much into good childcare and my little girl forged a bond with Janice only for her to walk out like this—and so abruptly.
I automatically thought she was ungrateful and stupid. I didn’t understand how she could just throw everything away like this but, ultimately, it was her loss. For what I was paying her, I was sure I could pick from a roster of very well qualified nannies. Molly was young and friendly enough to bond with a new one anyway. I walked over to the front door and slammed it shut, making Molly jump up in the air before running over to me and hiding behind my leg. I placed my hand on her head reassuringly before picking her up and walking over to let her do a little fashion show with her doll.
I was tired the next morning. More like exhausted, but I needed to head to practice anyway. Having to show up and adhere to the strict schedule even though I just sat on the bench was one of the only things I was bitter about. My optimism of getting back in the game had quickly disappeared over the night; likely because of how little rest I got.
I came to practice like always, but I was a yawning wreck. I could feel the others shooting me curious looks; a couple of them were a little judgmental. I ignored them all. I was the best on the team and they all knew it. There was no room for them to judge me for a few extra yawns. One of my teammates finally trotted over during a five-minute break.
“Out partying last night, bro?” The large man, with a little more pudge than muscle, asked me as he chugged down a bottle of water.
I glared at him for a moment, “No, I was up with Molly.”
As soon as the ‘ee’ sound fell from my lips when I said Molly’s name he erupted into jeers and laughter. I crunched the plastic water bottle in my thick fist before slugging him in the shoulder. I managed to catch the attention of a couple other teammates, who bumbled over and stood by watching.
“And who is Molly?” He asked with a wink, but it just made me want to punch him square in the jaw and shut his dumb jock mouth up for good.
“She’s my daughter, dickhead,” I muttered. I stood up and towered over the guy with a pretty menacing look in my eyes. My teammates immediately apologized and gazed down at their shoes.
Dr. Killian came up and the three guys walked off to join the others to leave me alone. I nodded at the Razorsharks’ team doctor knowing he was there to see me. He took a moment to quickly look out and survey the other players before asking me how I was feeling.
“I gotta say I think I’m all healed, Doc.”
Dr. Killian scrunched his eyebrows in a doubtful expression. “You can't be healed after one session, Axel. But if you feel it’s working then you should keep going back to the new therapist.” The doctor reached out and pressed his hand to the affected muscle and nodded. “Look, let’s not get too eager here. If yo
u’ve found a therapist you can actually work with who helps, keep it up.”
I knew the doctor was well aware of my reputation for firing pretty much everyone. That’s probably why he seemed quite keen on me going back Randy. I felt a slight pang of guilt when I thought back to her. I was maybe a bit of an ass to her last time. I couldn’t stay to chat with her, but I left her a generous tip anyway.
She should have nothing to be upset about and was probably looking forward to our next session.
I know I was.
I was spacing out and wasn’t looking at Shellsea, who was hanging out in my office doing yoga. I heard a noise outside the door and it brought me back to reality, just in time to see Shellsea settle into a cat-cow pose.
“Mmm,” she let out blissfully, eyes closed.
“That really helps,” I mumbled under my breath, mostly in poorly veiled sarcasm. I wanted to live the life of ‘moderation’ and find my ‘inner peace’, but all I could think about was that third cup of coffee I denied myself earlier and how great it would feel if I had just downed it. Shellsea would, of course, be affronted if she knew any of this. She’d remind me that indulging in multiple cups of coffee wasn’t the path to happiness. I don’t know, it would probably make me pretty happy.
Shellsea either didn’t pick up on my sarcasm or she completely disregarded it. She just launched into an explanation about one of her favorite poses, “If you just opened your mind and gave it a try, you’d understand the wonders of the gentle flow between these two combined poses. Mira, it warms the body and increases flexibility. It’s like opening yourself to full calm and stress relief. Honestly, you have no idea.”
I stared at Shellsea for a second, watching the way her blond hair pulled into a ponytail fell perfectly in the concave crevice of her back. I let out a long sigh and leaned my head back to stare up at the ceiling instead. Sure, inner peace sounded amazing and all, but I figured it was hard to actually achieve it when quietly fretting over the rent that was due soon. I didn’t know how much longer I could get away with barely making ends meet. Even with my office way out in the suburbs, it still wasn’t cheap enough to be feasible. I clenched my eyes shut and rubbed my temples as I let out another gust of breath.
“I’ve told you all that sighing is bad for your health,” Shellsea muttered as she stretched her body into another pose.
I ignored her; it wasn’t like I wanted to feel that way.
“You’re just not working hard enough. State of mind is a choice.” Shellsea said as she stretched and balanced on one leg. She had mentioned state of mind being a ‘choice’ before. I started to feel guilt well up in me. Still, the pressing matter of the rent was very real and very serious no matter how I framed it in my mind.
“Times like these make me wonder if I made the right choice,” I said as I looked down at the floor in defeat. “Maybe I should have just sucked it up and gone on a date with ‘Dr. Creeper’. I mean, honestly, what’s the worst that could have happened? At least I’d have rent money in hand now.”
The doctor I was referring to was actually named Dr. Kyle. He was my boss at my last job where I stormed out of the office as I told him how much of a self-righteous pig he was. That’s what led me to opening my new place in the suburbs. I was in a constant state of worry ever since I pulled the trigger and left. I was starting to wonder now if I really made the right decision.
Shellsea took a deep breath and stood in mountain pose. She pressed her hands together and whispered, “Namaste.” Then she turned to look at me, "Working in that toxic environment would have poisoned your soul, Mira.” Her tone was very matter-of-fact.
To me there was only one matter-of-fact thing in my life. And that was the current state of my finances and career. I sighed again and pointedly ignored the look of disapproval Shellsea shot me. She couldn’t seem to understand what it meant to leave a very high-priced, high status physical therapy clinic with benefits and security only to wind up like this.
It wasn’t exactly nice to worry about some fifty-something year old doctor, who happened to be the head of the clinic, propositioning me. But it was great to have the memory of flipping him off as I walked out the door. He had to know he couldn’t get away with pulling that kind of shit. But now I had to worry about making it on my own—not just making the rent and bills, but making it in the field as a private start up with no client base. I had lost every client I had and it was starting to weigh down on me and shake my confidence a bit. None of it was my fault entirely, but I certainly felt like I was the one paying all the consequences.
“You know it’s true,” Shellsea said, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah, it is, but you know what else is true? That place was doing a bang up job of paying the rent and covering my bills.”
Shellsea looked at me sympathetically, “You'll get new clients, Mira. You’ll get back on your feet. You just need to put that intention out into the world.”
“And that’ll land me a long roster of clients?” I knew there was a bite to my tone of voice, but at that point I was too anxious to care.
Shellsea recoiled a bit, “My, my. That is not the intention you want to put out there, my darling. Rent is important, but how do you expect to solve any problems if you’re just a big ball of nerves?” She placed her hand on her flat stomach and took a deep breath. “Sometimes we just have to give in and wait. And that’s okay. Take me, for example. Jude’s on a kick about cleansing his soul and honoring his body so he’s abstaining from sex for thirty days.” Shellsea paused for another deep breath and then another before going on. “His restraint is admirable, but I'm struggling here. I just have to wait though. He has to do what he has to do.”
My eyebrows shot up as I watched her for a minute. She closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths, hand still flat on her stomach. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I busted into laughter. Shellsea quickly opened her eyes and looked affronted. I covered my face and let out muffled laughter into my hands.
The fact that she was hard up for sex but was trying to deal with it through her healthy lifestyle and good vibes was too funny. Sometimes biology wins over “good vibes” and kombucha tea.
“Why are you laughing?” Shellsea finally snapped and looked away from me. She looked miffed which wasn’t typical for her. I tried not to laugh, thinking I was witnessing the rare spotting of a wild animal in its natural habitat. “You know the body is sacred.” Shellsea said with a huff.
I wanted to joke about Jude honoring Shellsea’s body since it was so sacred, but I didn’t have it in me. “I'll tell that to my clients... You know, if they ever show up.”
Shellsea stood up and stretched before going over to my desk. She sat across from me and reached out to grab my wrists. I glanced down, but wasn’t surprised. This was the sort of thing Shellsea did when she was trying to comfort someone. She stared at me until I met her gaze. We looked into each other’s eyes in silence for a couple moments.
I had a feeling this was supposed to ease my nerves, but I just found it awkward even though it wasn’t the first time she had done it. There was something about direct eye contact that made me feel like I was standing naked on a stage with a million people staring at me. Needless to say, it was hard not to tense up even when Shellsea did it.
“Okay,” she said softly. “Let’s breathe deeply. Chant along with me.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line and held back the urge to giggle. This was at least teetering on the line of ridiculous. I knew my best friend only wanted to lessen my ‘anxious energy’. I knew it would do me well to be a less frazzled person. So I took a deep breath in time with Shellsea and allowed myself to be directed, no matter how close I was to laughing.
I repeated the chants after her before we started to say them together. We sat and chanted for a few more minutes before going silent and sitting still. Then Shellsea drew in one last, long breath and let her hands fall away as her eyes fluttered open.
“See? Not only was that relaxin
g and great for our connection, now the intention is out there. It’s just a matter of waiting for the universe to answer at this point.”
I could already feel my eyes start to roll and just when I was about to make some snide comment about the universe’s long waiting times—
Ring!
I nearly jumped out of my seat as the loud sound filled the office. I stared at the phone, unable to believe it really worked. I took a moment to chastise myself inside my head for being so doubtful. Then I reached forward and grabbed the phone. I pulled it up to my ear and saw Shellsea smiling at me with smug satisfaction.
My eyes went squinty as I shot her a warning expression. She mouthed the words, “I told you so.”
“Miranda Bach,” I answered. Even though there was a hint of pleasant disbelief in my voice, I sounded quite professional. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. I could only hope when the voice came in on the other end that it was bearing good news.
Just Sex Page 30