by A. J. Quinn
“I want this over.”
Even in the shadowed room, she could see the strain around Evan’s eyes. Knew she was trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. Not only the encounter with John Anderson but her revelations about what Khalid had done to her in Afghanistan as well.
Tate didn’t want to think about that right now. Breathing in her scent, feeling her warmth was nothing short of a miracle.
“It will be over soon, love. And in the meantime, I’d like to start by calling the sheriff’s department in the morning. At the very least, they can advise us. And then we need to do whatever they suggest to make sure you’re safe.” She paused to pull Evan closer until her lips were only a breath away. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to suggest this but—I don’t suppose you’d consider going to DC and staying with your parents for a while?”
Silence stretched until the air grew tense between them. “No.”
Tate wasn’t surprised by the answer since she’d expected no different. She dropped a kiss on Evan’s shoulder and felt the ridged scars that marred her skin as she trailed her fingers over her back. Felt the faint ripple that coursed through Evan in response to her touch and the corresponding tingle of sexual awareness that danced across her own skin.
“Why don’t we put any final decisions on hold until we talk to the sheriff in the morning and see what he has to say?”
“You’re starting to repeat yourself.” Evan smiled faintly. “I know you’re expecting me to argue, but I’m not going to fight you on this. God knows we’ll need all the help we can get.”
“I know. I just don’t want anything happening to you. Did Alex say anything to you about his conversation with the sheriff?”
“He said he thought the sheriff was non-committal but interested in what Alex had to say and didn’t blow it off as the by-product of PTSD.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“I guess. And at the very least, the sheriff’s department will be able to help me get a concealed carry permit. One for you too.”
Tate shifted uncomfortably. “You’re serious, aren’t you? About the gun.”
“Never more so.” Evan’s intensity was palpable. “I lost more than four months, Tate, and I’m just finding my way back. To you. To my family. To my life. I’m not about to let anything get in the way of that happening. And if it means confronting Khalid, then that’s what I’ll do. But I’m okay with it because I know you’ll have my back.”
Tate stared at Evan and wondered if she would ever fully understand her. She didn’t say anything because there really wasn’t anything to say. She simply nodded and held on to her.
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about it anymore. At least not right now. It can all wait until morning.”
Tate started to say something, then thought better of it. Mostly because she couldn’t see a way around the truth. The one that said Evan would eventually have to deal with Khalid. A moment later, all thought left her as Evan found her mouth. At first, it was in gentle exploration, but then with an increasing hunger that all but brought Tate to her knees.
Oh God, she’s so good at this.
Tate recognized the jolt of desire, hot and sharp. Felt her control slip a bit more, and it suddenly seemed as though too much time had passed since they had last made love. Helpless to stop herself, she covered Evan’s mouth with her own, shivering as Evan’s hand swept up her spine.
When she pulled back and looked at her, she found Evan smiling a high-octane smile just like the one she’d had in her first memory of her. Sensuous and hungry. Tate didn’t think she’d ever seen anything as erotic. Or beautiful. And she wanted her.
“You’re a madness in my blood. You know that, don’t you?” she whispered. “Give yourself to me, Evan.”
“Anytime. Any place. Any way you want,” Evan replied, her eyes capturing Tate’s soul. “But first—” She released a low, guttural sound as she lowered her head and feasted on Tate’s throat. Devouring her as her hand slid provocatively across Tate’s heated skin.
It was a sound Tate loved, and she tipped her head back to give Evan better access. Fueling the fire until it consumed them both.
*
She felt warm and protected, safe, with Tate’s body pressed tight against her back. But it didn’t stop the dreams, and the nightmare that night was the worst one yet.
It had started with Tate. Making love with her on a beach. But it swiftly changed. Tate was pulled from her and her arms were tied, leaving her helpless and hurting. She could see Khalid, holding his bloody knife. But he was holding it against Tate’s skin, and she could feel herself fall apart in jagged little pieces.
Because she was unable to prevent what was happening. She was unable to save Tate.
She called to Tate, screaming her name as Khalid pushed her into the abyss. She scrambled in sheer panic, unable to contain the scream ripped from her throat as she tried to claw her way to the surface.
“Evan!” Tate’s voice was distant and strained. “Evan, it’s all right. Look at me. You’re all right. It’s just a dream. You had a nightmare. I’m right here.”
Slowly awareness returned, and she sensed when Tate moved closer, stroking, comforting. Her hands were gentle, but firm enough to hold her when she tried to pull away. She could feel Tate’s lips pressed against her temple. Hear the whispered words while she shook violently, waiting for the tremors to ease.
*
Tate glanced at the clock on the bedside table, but it really wasn’t necessary. The first pale hints of the new day were already visible through the window, and in the fragile light she could see Evan, sprawled across the bed, facedown and naked. One arm dangled off the mattress, and her sweat-dampened hair partially covered her face.
She was finally asleep. As Tate continued to watch her and listen to her soft breathing, something tightened in her chest. Drawing a shaky breath, she eased out of the bed and slipped into her favorite robe—a short blue silk Evan had bought in Japan—then quietly left the room.
“I’m glad she’s finally asleep. Why aren’t you?”
Tate started at the voice and turned to find Jenna standing there, concern evident on her face. “I thought I’d make a pot of coffee. After a nightmare, Evan doesn’t usually sleep long and, more often than not, wakes up with a headache. Coffee and aspirin are the only things that seem to help. I’m sorry if we woke you.”
“It’s all right. I heard Evan screaming,” Jenna said quietly. “I didn’t want to intrude. I only got up in case I could be of some help, but you seem to have it well under control.”
“I don’t know if I would go that far.” Tate released a soft laugh. “But I’m learning as we go. And Evan now seems to come out of it and realize where she is much quicker than in the beginning.”
“That’s good. Why don’t you let me make the coffee while you try and get a little more sleep?” she asked.
Tate shook her head. “Thanks, but I doubt if I could sleep, and besides, the odds are quite high Evan’s brother Alex will show up before long. He’ll want to hear all about our first date.”
“Your first date?” Jenna’s confusion was readily apparent. “I’m sorry, but I was under the impression from Kelsey you and Evan had been together for some time. And the chemistry between you—”
Tate laughed as she ground the coffee beans, measured the water. “Chemistry is something we had from the moment we met. A powerful thing. Still is. And Kelsey’s right. Evan and I have been together for some time. But we never got around to actually dating.” She shrugged and sighed.
“Why was that?”
“Where would you like me to start? She was a lieutenant commander in the US Navy. Her mother’s the secretary of state, her father a big-time lawyer. Her twin brother staged a very public coming out while they were still teenagers and is a prominent artist. But Evan never wanted to be a boldfaced name in the gossip columns. So discretion pretty much ruled everything she ever did.”
“Ah, but you had to see Evan in her dress whites.” Tate smiled. “She looked so damned hot she took my breath away the first time I saw her. At an embassy dinner in Bahrain, honoring her mother, of all things.”
“You fell in love at first sight,” Jenna said. “That’s wonderful.”
“Oh God, I did. I really did even though I fought it at first. I guess I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I finally realized the truth. That in spite of the constant separations brought about by her job and mine, and all the political baggage she came with, every time I so much as thought of looking at another woman, I was always looking for Evan. And none of those women were her.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Without question, except I’ve never actually told Evan how I feel and I don’t even know why. I mean, it’s not as if my feelings could change. Even when I thought she was dead. If anything, what I feel has only gotten stronger.”
She felt it then, the stirring in the air indicating Evan was near. Damn, she thought, not like this. Biting her lip, Tate slowly turned around. Her throat tightened.
Evan stood in the doorway in dark baggy sweatpants and a white tank top. Dark hair carelessly finger combed, smudges under her eyes, pale cheeks, and a resolute set to her jaw.
Tate wanted to go to her. Wanted to erase those shadows and see her smile. But more than anything, she wanted to erase the last few minutes out of existence. Pretend they hadn’t happened. She wanted to pretend she hadn’t just told a near-perfect stranger she was in love with Evan without having said the words to Evan first.
Jenna cast a quick sympathetic glance in her direction then quietly melted into the shadows just beyond the kitchen as Evan stepped forward into the light. She didn’t stop until she was a mere breath away. Silent and intense, she tucked a finger under Tate’s chin, lifting her head until Tate had no choice but to meet her eyes.
Tate knew she should do something to break the tension humming between them. Laugh, talk, anything. But she didn’t. Couldn’t. It was as if she had fallen under some kind of spell. And when Evan lowered her mouth to hers, she automatically parted her lips.
It was the softest of kisses and much too short. She felt a moan lodge in her throat as Evan pulled back, and she wanted nothing more desperately than to bring her mouth back.
“Did you think I didn’t know?” Evan’s breath was soft and warm against her lips. “Did you think I couldn’t see it in your eyes or feel it every time you held me? Did you think I couldn’t hear it in your sighs whenever we make love?”
Evan let Tate pull away, watching as she stopped just beyond her reach. Thrusting her hands into the pockets of her robe, Tate looked skittish and nervous. Uncertain. Her shoulders were hunched as if she was cold, but it was more likely from tension. But the silky robe had fallen slightly open, exposing the swell of her breasts, and Evan thought she looked beautiful. Tantalizing. Infinitely alluring.
“You have to know this is not how I wanted you to hear,” Tate said after a long silence. “You have to know there were so many times I wanted to say the words to you.”
“Tate—” she said, offering a quick smile, wanting to ease the tension.
But Tate continued as if Evan hadn’t spoken. “It was just never the right time,” she said. “The last thing I wanted was to leave you distracted when you needed every bit of attention focused on surviving your last deployment. As it is, you very nearly didn’t.” She fell silent, her fatigue and distress evident. But Evan didn’t say anything, knowing there was more still to come. More Tate needed to say.
“When I found out your plane had been shot down—when I thought you’d been killed—I couldn’t believe I’d let you go without ever telling you how I felt. I couldn’t believe I’d allowed so many meaningless reasons to stand in the way of telling you I loved you, and probably had since the night we met.” She stopped as her voice cracked and she lost her way. “I wanted to die when I heard. As it was, I was dying without you.”
Evan stepped forward and put her arms around Tate, pulling her closer. Pressing her tightly against her body until it was impossible to tell where she ended and Tate began, she felt an incredible calm come over her.
“I’m right here,” she murmured softly, her lips close to Tate’s ear. “And I’m not going anywhere again unless it’s with you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Tate nodded wordlessly.
“Good, because when this thing with Khalid is over, I’d like to invite my parents to come for a visit. And your parents. I want to celebrate us with the people who matter to us. I love you, Tate. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time, and I’m planning on spending a lifetime showing you just how much.”
She felt the shiver running through Tate and slid her hands inside the silk robe, skimming her palms over her bare skin and setting them both on fire as their lips met.
Chapter Thirty
“If you two are done making out like a pair of hormonally crazed teenagers, some of us are hungry and, at a bare minimum, would like some coffee.”
“Alex! I can’t bring you anywhere.”
Evan and Tate both laughed as Nick tried to pry Alex away from the kitchen door without success.
“Go,” Tate whispered. “Take your brother out on the deck and let him entertain Kelsey and Jenna while I get dressed, and then Nick and I will make breakfast.”
Still laughing, Evan dropped a kiss on the end of Tate’s nose before grabbing Alex’s arm and pulling him out to the deck. She got there in time to see the sun slowly creeping over the tall pines, to hear the birds singing and to feel the breeze stirring over the water.
Perfection. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the clean morning air as she watched the day arrive while listening to the waves and the gulls.
“How are you doing, Evan?” Jenna asked softly. “I imagine yesterday was tough. For you, especially.”
“I’m doing okay, thanks.”
Alex sat up. “Something going on I should know about?”
But Evan shrugged. “Nothing we’re going to talk about before I have Tate sitting beside me and at least two cups of coffee in me. You remember Kelsey don’t you, Alex? This is her partner, Jenna.”
*
Looking out the kitchen window, Tate watched Evan, sitting in a patch of bright sunlight, her face turned up to the warmth. Listening to something Jenna was saying, Evan stretched the tight muscles between her shoulder blades like a cat and her lips parted slightly before easing into a full, sensuous smile.
God, Tate loved her beyond anything she might have imagined.
“You’re burning the bacon.”
Nick’s words jolted her back to the present, and she grinned sheepishly as she quickly switched the heat off under the pan, removed the sizzling strips of bacon, and placed them on a rack.
“You look happy.”
“Deliriously,” Tate responded, adding butter and pots of maple syrup and honey to the tray Nick was loading with plates and cups and cutlery. “Can you manage the pancakes and coffee?”
Nick nodded and they went to the deck to join the others.
Evan jumped up to help her as soon as she saw Tate and the pile of food she was carrying. “Think you’ve got enough food there?”
Tate laughed, just a little breathless. “I’m still trying to fatten you up a bit, and besides, your brother is here. He more than makes up for your lack of appetite.”
“Only where food is concerned,” Evan whispered and laughed as Tate felt a heated blush spread across her face.
“Be good,” she admonished, but there was no rebuke in her tone.
Alex served himself a healthy stack of the wild blueberry pancakes and munched happily before asking, “So, who’s going to tell us what’s going on? Obviously you two finally figured out what Nick and I’ve known since the trip to Chamonix. That you’re in love with each other. Hallelujah. But there’s something else. I can see it in
both of you. What’s going on?”
With her brother’s eyes watching her intently as if he could guess she was about to complicate his life, Evan nibbled on a piece of bacon, drank far too much coffee, and relayed her conversation of the previous evening with John Anderson. To Tate’s surprise, she left nothing out. Not even the threat Khalid had made to finish what he had started with her in Afghanistan.
“Have you called the sheriff yet?”
“We thought we’d do that this morning after we finish eating,” Tate interjected, trying to give Evan some room to breathe.
“I’d like to go for a run before we make the call,” Evan said, placing her napkin next to her barely touched plate. When Tate looked at her questioningly, she shrugged. “I think I’ll be in better shape to talk to the sheriff if I can work off some excess energy first. And I wouldn’t mind checking out the trail. It’s where I last saw him.”
“I’ll go with you,” Alex said, pointing out he was already dressed in jogging pants and a T-shirt. “Plus I still want to hear all about how your date went before your unexpected visitor showed up and derailed it.”
“If I can borrow some running gear, I’d like to go with you too,” Kelsey added. “We’re about the same height, and if you have anything kicking around from before you got skinny, I’m pretty sure it’ll fit. God knows I’ll need to run a half marathon just to work off all the food I just ate.”
Tate felt unseen undercurrents tugging at her. She looked at Evan, close enough that she could see the tiny black flecks in her smoke-gray eyes, and suddenly needed to make sure she understood.
“You do know you didn’t imagine him, right?” She waited nervously until she saw Evan respond with a brief nod. “Then what do you expect to find?”
“Maybe ghosts. Maybe nothing. I’m not sure.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. “All I know is everyone’s trying to give me the space and time to get on with my life except Khalid. And I’m afraid I won’t be able to do that—I won’t be able to move on—until I settle things with him, once and for all. Maybe he knew what he was talking about. It’s what he said, after all. That there’d be another place and time. Now we need to finish things.”