I sighed and walked to the den to close the door. “That person who everyone thinks is a nut case because she thinks she can see dead people.”
“But you can see dead people.”
“You know that and I know that but not everyone believes in this stuff, you know? I don’t want to deal with that. Besides, I’ve got enough going on in my own life right now. I don’t have time for other people’s stuff.” I realized the selfishness in my comment, but I didn’t care. “I didn’t ask for this, Mel.”
“I know you didn’t, Ang, and I know you’re freaking out right now, but that’s because it’s still new. You haven’t had a chance to adjust yet. Give it some time and see what happens. We don’t even know how much it will happen, you know? So it may not even be as big of a deal as you think.”
I hadn’t really considered that. “Yeah, you’re right, but still. I’m not sure it’s something I can deal with. And honestly, I’m so pissed at my mother for not telling me about this years ago. I could have found a way to deal with it by now or at least had a better understanding of it all, you know?”
“Here’s what I think. I think that your mother was probably just as freaked out then as you are now. I think she probably thought she was protecting you and planned to tell you eventually, but since it wasn’t an issue again, life went on and she forgot about it. I don’t think she knowingly kept it from you, Ang, and I don’t think you really think that either.”
Damn her and her being right crap. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“Humph. It’s a curse, trust me.”
We made plans to go for a walk the next morning to make plans for the rest of my life and hung up. After Jake got back, he and I discussed the points Mel made, and I silently cursed him for agreeing with her.
“Why is it you’ll listen to her but not me?”
“I listen to you.” I snuggled up next to him on the couch. “You were there though. You saw what happened, but she didn’t. I wanted to see what she thought about it from that angle.”
He pulled me close to him. “Makes sense, but you know you can talk to me about this any time. It’s pretty amazing, what you did, Ang. I wouldn’t have believed it if it weren’t you, and I wasn’t standing there watching it all. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah, I know, and that’s what worries me about this. I don’t want some stranger...I mean, some ghost, coming up to me and convincing me to tell their spouse something and the spouse think I’m some crazy woman. I mean, seriously, I really don’t want to deal with this. I just want things to go back to the way they were before.” I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead.
“Yeah, I know, but we’ll figure this out. Have you talked with Fran any more about it?”
“I haven’t seen her since I made her get out of the car. I feel bad about that too. Amazing that she’s dead yet she can still make me feel guilty, isn’t it?”
“Not, really. Fran isn’t one to keep quiet for long so I’m sure you’ll hear from her soon.”
“Yeah, me too.” We chatted and snuggled on the couch a bit longer, and then decided to take it upstairs for something more...well, naked.
Seconds after what could only be described as absolutely freaking amazing sex, Jake was out for the count, and I was wide awake. It seems that he can always fall asleep seconds after sex, but I was so awake I could start my day all over again. Mel and I blamed this, periods, pregnancy, labor, and teenage daughters on the fact that Eve bit the apple first. If it weren’t for her, we’d be the ones snoring loudly and continuing the sex with some hot movie star in our dreams. Damn Eve.
Thirty minutes later, eyes still wide opened, I realized sleep wasn’t an option and shuffled downstairs to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Ma was floating in the far corner of the kitchen and I pretended not to see her. I knew I owed her an apology, but I wasn’t ready to give it just yet.
“Stop pretending you don’t see me, Angela.”
Busted. “I’m not pretending I don’t see you, Ma. I’m ignoring you. There’s a difference.”
“Humph. Well, stop ignoring your mother. It’s rude.”
I grabbed my favorite Starbucks coffee cup from the cabinet, dropped in a splash of French vanilla creamer, and poured in what the pot had already brewed. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to sit in the kitchen or the family room and stood there for a minute, dumbfounded at the absurdity of my confusion. Ma floated out of the corner and stared at me.
“What?”
“What, what?”
“Why are you staring at me, Ma?”
“I’m not staring at you. I’m waiting.”
Oh boy. I knew what she was waiting for, the apology. “Well, you’re just going to have to wait a little longer because I’m not ready yet. Besides, you owe me one first, so I’m not apologizing until you do.” I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her like a five-year-old, but I imagined it anyway, and it made me feel good. I sipped from my coffee and gave Ma the stare down. She shrugged her shoulders, floated up to the ceiling, which for me was still totally cool and floated back down, right next to me.
I got my super power stare-down ability from Ma so I’d be damned if I was going to cave first.
“Ah Madone, Angela. You want me to apologize for protecting you? What was I supposed to do, tell you when you were a child? Maybe I should have told you when you were a teenager? For all I knew, once I told you, it could have started up again and Madone, wouldn’t that have been fun? Didn’t we have enough drama what with your father and I divorcing? I could have told you when you were in your twenties or even before you married Jake. Yes, that would have been great. You were older and more mature. You would have understood then, right? Sort of like you’re understanding right now, all mature.”
“Ma, I –” She cut me off before I could finish.
“I am not going to apologize to you for trying to protect you, Angela. I’m your mother. It’s my job to protect you and even now, that’s what I do. You should appreciate me instead of giving me grief for keeping this from you.” She lifted her chin and turned her head to the right, effectively telling me to stick it.
She did sort of have a point. I probably wouldn’t have handled it well as a teenager, and as a young woman, even in my thirties it would have been tough to understand. Still, I was frustrated. “Ma, I get it. I do. It would have been tough on me at any age, but at least I’d have had time to deal with it and adjust, you know?” I knew I wasn’t going to win this one. I could feel it. Sometimes it took me hearing myself to realize I was saying something stupid. I leaned my head back and rubbed my forehead, fearing a migraine coming on. “You know what, you’re right. It would have sucked regardless of when you told me. I wouldn’t have wanted this no matter what age.”
Ma frowned. “I know, Ang. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to be upset or think of yourself as different or like you said, as a nut case. I just wanted to protect my little girl. I’m sorry I screwed it all up now. You’re right. I do owe you an apology...for that.”
I sipped my coffee and gave my mom a half-hearted smile. “May I ask you something?”
She floated closer and bent her head right next to my coffee cup. “Oh, how I wish I could have some coffee or at least smell it. I miss coffee.”
“You can’t even smell it?”
“Nope. I try but I get nothing. I can’t smell anything. No flowers. No gravy and meatballs...not that you ever make gravy and meatballs but if you did, I wouldn’t be able to smell them.”
I giggled at her attempt to guilt me. “Ma, you want me to make your gravy and meatballs? Is that what you’re saying? Fine. I’ll make them this weekend. But Ma, I need to know something.”
She floated over to the coffeepot and tried to smell it. “Oh, this is just sinful. I’m supposed to be in Heaven and I can’t even smell coffee. What’s Heaven without coffee?”
“Ma, you’re not in Heaven. You’re in my kitchen. Maybe if you actually spent s
ome time in Heaven you could smell coffee there.”
“Pfft. I got stuff to do here.”
Even in death my mother could avoid a question better than anyone I knew. “Ma, I know what you’re doing, so stop.”
She floated back over to me and hovered near the chair. “I know what you’re going to ask, Ang.”
“What? Can you read my mind now, too? Crap. Ma, if you can read my mind, then we have to –”
“No, Angela, I can’t read your mind. I’m a ghost. I’m not a psychic. You’re my daughter. That’s how I know what you’re going to ask me.”
“No, Ma, you don’t.” Okay, so maybe she did but I that annoyed me so I didn’t acknowledge it. My mother always had a knack for knowing what I was going to say before I said it. I didn’t know if that was a gift or a curse for either of us.
“You want to know why I showed myself to you after I died and opened up this door, don’t you?”
I really hated when she did that. I shook my head in defeat.
“I don’t know, Angela. Part of me wanted to let you know I was okay. That it didn’t hurt to die, and that I heard all of those wonderful things you said to me. I tried to tell you when I was lying there, but I couldn’t. My head wanted to respond, but my body wouldn’t work, and I was so tired. I didn’t think this would happen and I’m sorry you’re upset.”
Who was this woman? Ma didn’t apologize. She never considered herself wrong. Even when it was obvious she was wrong, she never acknowledged it. When OJ Simpson was on trial for killing his ex-wife and her friend, she insisted he was innocent. The whole glove fiasco solidified her opinion even though she was probably the only person in the world to think he didn’t do it.
I loved my mother. Her heart was golden, even if sometimes she was a royal pain in the butt. “I know, Ma. I know. So that’s why you’re still here then, to tell me all of that? Is that what psychic Linda meant about me being your unfinished business?”
“It’s more complicated than that. Madone. No one wants to die and leave their children, especially mothers, even if their children are adults, but it’s not really that. When you die, things happen. You see things. You know how they say you see your whole life pass before your eyes? Well, you do, but that’s not all. You see other things too, and what I saw made me feel like I needed to be here, for you.”
“What did you see?”
“That’s the thing, Angela. I can’t tell you.”
“You can’t tell me or you won’t tell me?”
“There are rules, Angela. I have to follow the rules.”
“Rules? What rules? I thought once you die and go to Heaven there are no rules? And I thought they’d have unlimited coffee and chocolate and no calories and tons of cupcakes.”
“Yeah, I thought so too and I thought your grandmother could make her spinach but she laughed when I asked her to." She tried to smell my coffee again. “Just one sniff. That’s all I want. One sniff.”
I stood up and stretched, tiredness finally hitting me, along with the realization that I wouldn’t win this battle. “I’m going to bed now." I poured the rest of my coffee down the drain.
Ma's eyes grew big and her mouth opened in shock to see the precious liquid disappear. “What a waste."
“I’m sorry, Ma. I love you.”
“Ah, it’s okay. It’s just coffee.”
“No, not about that, about how I behaved today. I’m sorry about how I treated you.”
“Pfft. You’re my daughter. I forgave you before you even did it.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and I and wanted to say something more but she’d already shimmered away.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning I woke up before Jake, fed Gracie and made a fresh pot of coffee. Josh got up shortly after me. “What are you doing up so early, little man?”
“It’s eight o’clock. It’s not early, Mama.”
“Seems pretty early for a boy to be getting up in the summer if you ask me.”
“I like getting up early. I feel like I’m wasting my day if I sleep too long. Can you make me a bagel with peanut butter, please?”
“Sure, little man. Want some milk, too?”
“Yes, please.”
I made Josh his bagel and said a silent thank you to God for my son. He was the easiest kid alive, not that I actually knew any dead kids. Yet. Yikes. If Emily were up right now, she’d be a total crab because it was so early, and she’d either want something full of sugar or nothing at all. I’d talk to her about metabolism and the importance of eating breakfast, she’d roll her eyes at me, I’d get mad, and she’d stomp to the family room, turn on some stupid reality show she taped the night before, and pretend I didn’t exist. Yes, Josh was so much easier.
Thinking that through made me understand how Ma knew what I was going to say the night before and I felt a renewed connection to her.
I spent a few minutes talking to Josh about his plans for the day. Basketball with friends and then maybe a little Xbox 360 topped his priority list, and I gently reminded him of his time limits on the game. He smiled and assured me he wouldn't go over and I believed him.
Josh ate his bagel and I fixed Jake a cup of coffee, my best tool for waking him, other than sex.
“’Morning,” Jake said as I snuggled up next to him. “Not looking for a repeat of last night?”
After being married for practically, ever, he knew what the coffee meant.
I laughed. “Absolutely I am. How fast can you shower and brush your teeth?”
Jake rolled over onto his side. “What happened to the days of sex in the morning, night and any time in between, dirty bodies and unbrushed teeth?" He pouted.
“Kids and a dog. Oh, and errands, and work and cleaning, and PTO and laundry, and...shall I continue?”
Jake lifted up his head to see Gracie lying on the bed, staring at him. “Growing up sucks.”
“Yeah, buddy." I got up to get dressed.
“What’s your plan for the day?”
“Heading out to the greenway to walk with Mel, then run some errands, come back and do laundry. All that exciting stuff that gets in the way of sex. What about you?”
“I’ve got a conference call at ten o’clock and then have to catch up on my expenses. Are the kids up yet?”
“Josh is. Apparently he’s setting his alarm now because he doesn’t want to waste his day by sleeping. He’s going to play basketball in a bit but is eating his fantastically prepared breakfast.”
“A bowl of cereal?”
“No, I made him a bagel with peanut butter on it. I cooked.”
“You toasted.”
“Close enough.” I pulled a tee shirt over my workout bra. “If Emily gets up while I’m gone, which I hope she does, can you make sure she eats something reasonably healthy and find out what her plan is for the day?”
Jake swept his legs off the bed and rubbed his eyes. “Sure. What do you consider reasonably healthy, a Pop Tart?”
“Not so much.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she has some fruit or yogurt or something.”
“Thanks." I kissed him. “I gotta run. The dog has been fed and let out, but you need to make sure she goes out a few more times, please.”
He saluted me. “Yes, ma’am.”
“That’s a good boy. Love you." I walked out of the bedroom.
“Love you too.”
###
“Hold on,” I said to Mel after we’d started walking. “My watch isn’t starting up.” We stopped and moved to the side of the path, and I reset my Polar watch. It took a few tries, but I finally got it to give me a heart rate over zero, indicating that I was in fact, alive. “I think I need to send this thing in or something. My heart rate is zero more often than any other number.”
“Maybe you’re a ghost and you don’t know it.”
“That’s all you’ve got?”
“Yeah, that was pretty lame, wasn’t it? I guess I’m still tired.”
“You d
isappoint.”
“Sorry, I’ll work on it. So how’s things?”
“You know,” I paused to figure out what I actually felt but couldn’t come up with much. “I don’t really feel anything specific. I’m not really mad anymore, but I’m not gung-ho to go out and ghost hunt and heal the emotionally wounded either. I talked to my mother and I think that actually helped a little.”
“You did? When? What did she say?”
“I couldn’t sleep last night and ended up in the kitchen where she was floating around.”
“Had sex, huh?”
“Yup and of course Jake was out less than five minutes after. How do they do that?”
“It’s Eve. It all comes back to her eating that damn apple first. Screwed us all. That beyotch.”
“I hate Eve.”
“Me, too. She’s the reason for PMS and every other annoying and bad thing we have to deal with. I hope she has cramps for all of eternity. So tell me what Fran said.”
I filled her in on the conversation with Ma.
“So you’re not mad at her anymore?”
“I wasn’t really mad at her to begin with.”
Mel tilted her head and gave me a funny look. “Um, yeah, you were. Actually I’d say you were more like furious.”
She was right. “Okay. Maybe I was a little mad, but I wouldn’t say furious. Seriously though, wouldn’t you be? The whole situation is way out of my comfort zone.”
“I don’t know. If it were me, I’d like to think I’d be pretty psyched about it. You’ve got a gift and that’s pretty cool. I can see how it would freak you out, though.”
“You have no clue. I don’t even know if the people I’m looking at anymore are real. This isn’t part of the life I imagined for myself.”
“You imagined yourself wearing a tiara Ang, and that’s not gonna happen. And life threw you a curve ball but you’ll adjust. You may even end up liking it.”
“Maybe.” I didn’t really think that but this was one of those times when discussing it more wouldn’t make a difference.
Unfinished Business An Angela Panther Novel (A Chick-lit Paranormal book) (The Angela Panther Series) Page 11