“What are you asking me?”
“Well, I came here for two reasons. One was because I didn’t want to spend the holidays without at least one member of my family. The other was because I want to let you know in person that you’re always welcome to live with me. I know you probably want to stay here because I’m sure you’ve settled in at school, but if you ever need a place to stay or just want to see your sister, you’ll have a home.”
“Thank you. I think I need to stay here for now. I’ve got something really good going on with Olivia and some new friends. I don’t know what I’m doing for college, though. I was thinking about going to Miami after high school. Whether I do that depends on how things work out with Olivia. If I go there in a year and a half, would that offer still stand?”
“Of course it would. I’m glad you’re happy here.”
“I’m happy that you’ve found your way, too. I have to admit something, however. I can’t picture you as a broke college student working as a waitress at some restaurant. It’s just bizarre to think about when you consider who we were a few months ago.”
“I know what you mean. It was definitely an adjustment. When you’ve always had more than enough, it can be a shock to live paycheck to paycheck. What about you? I’ve been writing Aunt Kristen, and I heard all about your little all-nighter with that girl next door. From what I’ve been hearing, my brother is actually in love.”
“Why is that so odd?”
“Let’s just say that you never struck me as the type to fall in love so easily. Chastity loved you back at home, and I never got the feeling that you even cared for her. She still asks about you. She actually found me a few weeks ago. I think she misses you. I guess what I’m wondering is what makes this girl so special?”
“Everything. Sometimes you just know when you’re with the right person. I’m hoping when I come back after I graduate that she’ll come with me.”
“Eric, you’ve still got a lot to learn.”
“What do you mean?”
“High school relationships don’t last. They fizzle out. I’m not saying that what you have with her isn’t special, but I don’t want to see you count on your relationship with her being what defines you. There are other options, and one day you might have to explore some of them.”
“I hope you’re wrong about that.”
“Me, too. If I’m not, though, I hope you’ll still explore the option of coming home. I miss you.”
“I’ve missed you, too, and of course I’m going to come home eventually. Mom and Dad will get out sooner or later, so I have to come back.”
“I would count on the later option. I think they’ll be in there for at least the next decade. Let’s not talk about that, though. It’s Christmas. What do you say we do the thing we always used to do on Christmas Eve?”
“You mean our tradition of blowing off all the family get-togethers to go to a movie? I thought you were just using me to get away from all of our relatives back then,” I teased.
“I was. I think I would miss it if we didn’t keep that tradition, though. Even if you are a little weird, you’re still my brother. You can even invite Olivia if you want to. I hear that she’s had a hard time lately. She could probably use a pick-me-up.”
I agreed and got ready. When I went over to Olivia’s house to invite her, she seemed more than happy to come along. Truthfully, I think getting out of the house was the best thing for her. Doing nothing but staring at her mom only reminded her of what she still felt like was stolen from her. Going out, on the other hand, provided her with the opportunity to pretend that nothing had ever happened, if only for a couple of hours.
Once we were at the movies, we quickly got our tickets and went inside. The girls said they didn’t want to get any snacks, so we went into the screening room immediately. We were early, though, and after a few minutes, my sister changed her mind, or at least I thought she did.
“Hey, I think I’m going to get something, after all. Why don’t you come with me, Olivia? I wouldn’t mind talking to you about my brother for a minute,” Catherine said.
Olivia agreed to walk with her. I had no idea why she wanted to talk to my girlfriend, and honestly, I was a little worried. What could they be talking about? My mind ran wild with thoughts of what my sister could possibly be saying. Olivia would end up telling me everything later on. When they left the screening room, my sister started asking Olivia a few questions. She had to know that I was with a good girl.
“You don’t know me very well, but we both care about Eric. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions to make sure he’s in good hands here?” Catherine asked.
“I don’t mind. Go ahead.”
“First off, are you all right? I heard about what happened with your dad.”
“I’m fine. Actually, that’s not true, but I don’t want to talk about it. I want to try to forget everything that’s happened for tonight.”
“Well, I’m really sorry for your loss. I probably shouldn’t ask you these kinds of questions right now considering . . .”
“No, it’s fine. You’re his sister, and I understand if you want to get to know me.”
“All right, then. Tell me this. What does my brother mean to you?”
“Everything. I love him. Without Eric, I don’t know how I would have gotten through this. He makes me laugh when I need to, and he’s always there for me when I need a friend. He’s my best friend, but he’s also so much more.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I only asked because I think he’s really into you. When he talks about you, his eyes light up in a way I’ve never seen before. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t expecting more out of your relationship than you were.”
“He’s not. We’re still very young, and I know anything can change, but I wouldn’t mind being married to someone like Eric one day. In fact, I think we’ll end up together when it’s all said and done.”
“So you don’t mind coming to Miami then?”
“What do you mean?”
“Eric plans to go to college there. I’m sure he would stay for you, but I know he always wanted to go there. I guess what I’m asking is this. Are you willing to follow him if he does leave?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. I didn’t even know he wanted to go there. I guess it makes sense that he would go back home at some point. I can’t say what life will be like then or if I would be willing to follow him, but I know this in my heart. Our paths are intertwined. If he has to leave and I can’t go, then we’ll find our way back to each other eventually.”
“I like you, Olivia. I think you really love my brother, and I can see you’re not going to hold him back from anything. I’m glad he’s found someone so wonderful,” Catherine said and talked about other things while they got some popcorn.
While they were walking back to the screening room, Olivia kept coming back to what Catherine said. She couldn’t shake the thought of me leaving her. Olivia hadn’t known when, but at some point, she had grown more attached to me than she knew was possible. During the movie, she grabbed my hand and held it tightly. It was as if she thought that if she let go, I would be gone forever.
When the movie was over and we went back home, Olivia asked me to stay with her for a moment. After my sister drove across the street to my aunt and uncle’s house, we sat down on the porch, and she sighed. I could tell that something was wrong. She had been looking at me strangely since she and my sister went off alone.
“What’s going on, Olivia? I know Catherine can be a bit much, and I don’t know what she said, but you can’t let it get to you.”
“She only asked me what I thought of you and told me you might be going to Miami in the future. At first, I was fine with that. I thought that if you left we would find our way back to each other just like before. The more I thought about it, the more I felt insecure, though.”
“It’s not written in stone that I’m going to Miami. It’s just an option. You shouldn’t feel insecure either way. I fo
und my way back to you once. I can do it again.”
“I know that, but what if you don’t? A lot can change over four years, and I don’t want to be away from you that long. I don’t know how it happened, but I think I grew to love you a little more than I meant to. I wanted us to have the type of relationship where it was just fun. I didn’t want to have a serious conversation about our future this soon. With everything that happened with my dad, though, I’ve changed. I’ve learned that you can’t waste time not being with the people you love. I’m going to ask you for something that’s selfish, but I feel like I have to. Eric, don’t leave me. Go somewhere close. If there’s one person I don’t want to leave, it’s you.”
“I promise that I’ll never leave you. I think my sister wants me to come home some day, but I’ll never leave this place unless you’re with me.”
“No, you don’t really need to promise me that. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t be that controlling girl who holds her boyfriend back. Catherine said that you wanted to go to the University of Miami when you were younger. I don’t want to stand in the way of any dreams you have.”
“Olivia, you’re not standing in the way of anything. I’ll admit that I always wanted to go to school there. You’re my dream now, though. If I can somehow have both, of course I’ll go to college there, but you’re the number one priority in my life. If it means us ending up together, then I would give up anything.”
“I don’t want you to give up anything for me, though. I think you would resent me later.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“What?”
“You’re too good for someone like me. You always have been. I’ve used up all the luck I had in life just to get you. I love you more than anyone or anything. Don’t you think I would gladly give up going to a certain college to wake up next to you every single day of our lives?”
“I’m the lucky one here. You don’t know what you’ve meant to me over the last few weeks. I don’t know where I would be without you,” Olivia said and sneezed.
It was freezing, and as much as I loved where our conversation was going, it was time to get her inside.
“I think it’s time for me to leave and for you to go inside. The last thing I want is for you to get sick,” I said.
“I’ll be fine. Stay with me for a while,” she said and leaned her head over onto my chest.
I kissed the top of her head, and we simply sat there watching the beautiful scenery in front of us. It was freezing, and every part of my body was numb, but it really was beautiful there. The snow covered grass made the perfect romantic scenery. As I looked down at the girl on my chest, I saw a true sight of beauty. I had forgotten that feeling I had when I first saw her. Back then, I immediately noticed the way her eyes and dark hair perfectly complimented each other. Then there were her perfect pink lips. I was mesmerized once again. In that moment, I pulled her up and kissed her ever so softly.
“You’re my heart. You know that, right?” I asked as I pulled away.
“How did I get lucky enough to find you?”
“You didn’t. I found you. I had to walk in front of a couple of vehicles to get your attention, but I’m so glad I did.”
“I had almost forgotten about that. Back then, you wanted a simpler life than you had at home. I wanted a bigger and better life. I think I still wanted that up until a few days ago. You had the right idea from the beginning, though. I don’t need you to take me away from here, and I don’t need to have some big house on the lake. All I really need is you. Do you think you can give me that?”
“Without a doubt,” I said and gave her another kiss.
Things seemed so simple right then. We were absolutely freezing, and we didn’t have our futures planned out at all, but that moment was as close to Heaven as I’ve ever gotten. The girl of my dreams being right next to me was all I ever needed. If only I could have hung onto that feeling forever. No matter how much I didn’t want it to, change was eventually going to come, and our simple plan would turn into something entirely different.
Chapter 14
Broken Beyond Repair
One Year and Four Months Later
Through our high school years, Olivia and I grew closer and closer every day. We were nearly inseparable. It seemed like we were destined to be together. That’s why I never saw this day coming. It was two weeks before graduation, and I had applied to a lot of different schools. Thanks to my good grade point average and great SAT score, I could go to almost any school, and I even had a few scholarship offers. Miami was one of them. I didn’t know what Olivia wanted to do in the future, but I was hoping she would come back home with me. It wasn’t like I was going to leave without her. As we were getting out of school that day, I noticed that she looked troubled. I didn’t know why, but it was clear that something was wrong.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” I asked.
“Nothing. I was just thinking about our future.”
“Me, too. I need to talk to you about something.”
“Let me go first. Where do you see us going?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. Do you see us as a married couple with children somewhere down the line?”
“Where is this coming from? We’re only eighteen. I think we’ve got some time to figure all that out, don’t you?”
“Maybe, but I need to know where you stand.”
“I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life. I think marriage can wait a while, though. As for children, I think that can wait a long time. Where is this coming from?”
“Nowhere. What did you want to talk to me about?”
“I got a scholarship offer from Miami. It’s where I’m from, and my parents are supposed to get out of prison in a few years. It makes sense for me to go back. I’m not going anywhere without you, though. You haven’t told me what your plans are yet. If you want, we could go there.”
“I don’t know, Eric. I think we really need to talk about how this affects everyone.”
“I get it. I’m asking a lot. I’ll stay with you no matter what you decide.”
“Don’t say it like that. I don’t want to be the reason you’re stuck here. Just let me think. This is a lot to take in all at once. It seems like everything’s changing.”
“Relax. I’m just asking about college. It’s not like we wouldn’t come back here.”
“I know. If I’m going to make that kind of commitment to you, though, you need to make one to me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I need to know that you would be open to things like marriage and children in the near future. If I’m going to follow you across the country, then I have to know you’ll stick with me, no matter what.”
“What’s going on with you? You’ve never been the type of girl who wants to get married quickly, and you’ve never even mentioned children until now. It’s too soon to even be considering marriage, and I think we both know that a child would ruin our lives.”
“Is that how you really feel?”
“Absolutely. Don’t you?”
“Eric, I’m pregnant, so welcome to your ruined life,” she said sarcastically.
I didn’t know what to say. I was only eighteen. This really would ruin my life. I had plans, and this changed everything. For that matter, it changed everything for Olivia. She wanted to be a doctor one day. How was this going to affect her?
“Well, say something,” Olivia said impatiently.
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“I knew it.”
“Knew what?”
“I’m going to be in this thing alone.”
“No, you’re not. I just don’t understand what happened.”
“Well, you see, when you put your . . .”
“I get that. It’s just that we always used protection. How could this happen?”
“It’s not one hundred percent, Eric. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. I
guess we’ll settle in here. I told my boss I would be leaving the ice cream shop after the summer. He said he wanted me to stay and even offered me a managerial position to skip college. I could see if that offer still stands. Then we can get an apartment and get married eventually. I just can’t believe things are happening this way. I thought it would be different.”
“How did you think it would be?” Olivia asked as we pulled into her driveway.
“I thought I would go to college and get a degree that helped me earn enough money to build you that house on the lake. You would become a doctor, and after we had chased down our dreams, we would get married. When we were in our late twenties or early thirties, we would start to have children. That was the dream. I guess that idea is dead now, though. We’ve got to deal with what’s in front of us. I’ll let my boss know after this weekend.”
Olivia looked completely depressed. I didn’t think about it back then, but I imagine I made her feel as if having to take responsibility for our child was a burden I never wanted. She probably thought that she and our child were some kind of consolation prize for losing my dreams in Miami. In truth, that’s what I thought. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The days passed by slowly over that weekend. I didn’t go anywhere. I simply stayed in my room and waited for Monday to come. I purposely avoided Olivia. I even turned my phone off. I didn’t want to talk about the responsibility that was coming my way, not with her and certainly not with my aunt and uncle. I didn’t even tell them what was going on.
When the weekend was finally over and it was time to pick up Olivia for school once again, I noticed that she looked troubled as she walked to my car. When she got in, she said five words that I never expected.
“You should go to Miami.”
“What are you talking about? We’re going to have a child now. Unless you’re coming with me, I’m not going anywhere.”
“The child is gone, so you don’t have to feel responsible.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you were pregnant.”
“I was, and now I’m not. What’s so confusing?”
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